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How often do you go to Synagogue?


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In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 11:18:40 AM PDT
Lev says:
Hanalah: "You are behaving lilke a frummie."

Lev: No, no, no. Previously we were 2-hours' commuting time from shul. Now we're 40-minutes' commuting time from shul. But we're still commuting to shul. I walk the distance--sometimes.

Hanalah: "Isn't it a delight to walk along toward the shul and see the others also converging on the shul? What a great community feeling!"

Lev: At my shul the communal feeling comes from all the cars converging on the parking lot.

Hanalah: "By the way, Lev, do you have peyas?"

Lev: At a Reconstructionist shul? I think I would be the first person to be excommunicated before his conversion.

Posted on Oct 12, 2010 11:21:14 AM PDT
jaime says:
Where did yall go for Simchas Torah? Did anyone go to Lubavitch? To Young Israel?

I went to a Sephardic shul. The members are from Latin America and the rabbi is a warm wonderful man. So much so that a lot of non-members (including me) were there, participating in the dancing. (Yes, the women danced on our side and the mehitsah was permeable so we could embrace the Torahs every time they went by, which was intoxicating).

Was there food served? How about wine? Or schnapps?

Or maybe some went to a non-Chabad Hasidic shul? Or to a non-Hasidic frum shul? Or to Young Israel or Modern Orthodox or Conservative or Reform congregation? What did THEY do?

How many got to carry the Torah? Did you dance? Did you hoist the little children on your shoulders? Did you throw the Torah in the air and catch it? Did you turn a somersault (as they do in our local Chabad shul on this night)?

Did you go again in the morning? What was THAT like?

Have you taken your sukkah down yet? Did you take a photo of your sukkah before Yomtov started, or on chol hamo'ed?

Or what happened that I (like the simple child) don't know enough to ask about?

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 11:22:28 AM PDT
jaime says:
Oh, I didn't realize you were reconstructionist.

So if I start a thread on Arthur Green, you will be a knowledgable contributor!

Posted on Oct 12, 2010 11:29:55 AM PDT
Lev says:
Hanalah: "Oh, I didn't realize you were reconstructionist."

Lev: Not yet. I'm not even Jewish yet.

Hanalah: "So if I start a thread on Arthur Green, you will be a knowledgable contributor!"

Lev: Well, I can fake it with the best of them. I've read him, but I haven't heard his name mentioned once in the two and a half years I've been going to this shul.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 11:30:04 AM PDT
LazerA says:
"Did you throw the Torah in the air and catch it?"

::cringe::

Very much not recommended, for a variety of reasons.

In general, sifrei Torah tend to undergo more wear and tear on Simchas Torah than the entire rest of the year. When we dance with a sefer Torah, we should be doing it with respect - like dancing with an elderly rabbi - and be careful not to make the Torah into a prop for entertainment.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 11:40:55 AM PDT
jaime says:
I was expecting you to mention that the whole congregation would have to fast for...is it a week?...if anybody dropped a sefer Torah.

I once saw a cngregation dance so strenuously with the Torah as a partner that it looked like a do-si-do. I have no idea how they managed it. I was amazed that it remained upright and unfallen.

So we know what your shul avoided doing.

But what DID they do, for fun?

Anything? Or were they more somber? Maybe they had a staid processional with the Toros?

(By the way, interesting punctuation--I really FELT that ::cringe::--!!!)

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 11:42:31 AM PDT
jaime says:
If you let the Reconstructionists sign off on your certificate, you won't be recognized by the frummies. I don't know if even the conservatives will recognize you. Please consider getting a signature with maximum clout. I love you and want everyone to recognize you!

Posted on Oct 12, 2010 11:52:33 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Oct 12, 2010 11:54:40 AM PDT
Lev says:
Hanalah: "If you let the Reconstructionists sign off on your certificate, you won't be recognized by the frummies. I don't know if even the conservatives will recognize you. Please consider getting a signature with maximum clout."

Lev: The Reconstructionists in this city don't have a conversion program--to their shame--and so they sent me to a Reform conversion program. I completed the classes, but chose not to meet their beit din--there's too much atheism in the local Reform movement for my liking. Now I've almost completed the Conservative conversion program. I'm much more comfortable with the Conservative understanding of GD. I reckon in time I'll begin the Orthodox conversion programme--I might as well collect the entire set.

Hanalah: "I love you and want everyone to recognize you!"

Lev: Why, shucks, ma'am--I could just blush myself to death!"

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 12:03:10 PM PDT
jaime says:
Lev
I'm much more comfortable with the Conservative understanding of GD. I reckon in time I'll begin the Orthodox conversion programme--I might as well collect the entire set.

Hanalah
Good plan!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 12:03:59 PM PDT
jaime says:
Hanalah: "I love you and want everyone to recognize you!"

Lev: Why, shucks, ma'am--I could just blush myself to death!"

Hanalah
OK but it's strictly "platonic" (the popular meaning, of course).

Posted on Oct 12, 2010 12:13:11 PM PDT
Lev says:
Hanalah: "I love you and want everyone to recognize you!"

Lev: "Why, shucks, ma'am--I could just blush myself to death!"

Hanalah: "OK but it's strictly 'platonic' (the popular meaning, of course)."

Lev: But of course!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 2:13:40 PM PDT
Balok says:
@Hanalah:

"I was expecting you to mention that the whole congregation would have to fast for...is it a week?...if anybody dropped a sefer Torah."

For those who care:

http://ohr.edu/ask_db/ask_main.php/74/Q1/
http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/830339/jewish/Why-fast-after-dropping-a-Torah-scroll-or-tefillin.htm
http://www.lidobeachsynagogue.org/Jewish%20Websites/physics%20of%20hagbah.htm
http://www.haredim.co.il/ViewArticle.aspx?catID=1&itmID=2155

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 2:54:26 PM PDT
Isaiah says:
Hanalah: "Isn't it a delight to walk along toward the shul and see the others also converging on the shul? What a great community feeling!"

Lev: At my shul the communal feeling comes from all the cars converging on the parking lot.

Hanalah: "By the way, Lev, do you have peyas?"

Lev: At a Reconstructionist shul? I think I would be the first person to be excommunicated before his conversion.

Sarah: But that's exactly what the Jewish community needs: impossible extremes of creative non-conformity. As a former quasi-Reconstructionist I would attend the ceremony. Or both of them.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 5:10:36 PM PDT
LazerA says:
"Maybe they had a staid processional with the Toros?"

No, definitely not a staid processional. Plenty of dancing and singing with the sifrei Torah, but the sifrei Torah are just carried, not tossed around.

Posted on Oct 12, 2010 9:42:41 PM PDT
windsor says:
Hanalah,

I am so disappointed. I was unable to go with my friend to celebrate the Sabbath. She is in the health care industry and there is a shortage and she must work seven days for a while. She told me I could still go but I chose to wait till she can go with me, at least for the first time.
When it happens I will come back and share with you however.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 12, 2010 10:22:03 PM PDT
Hanalah:
"Isn't it a delight to walk along toward the shul and see the others also converging on the shul? What a great community feeling!"

Yes, it is absolutelly delightful! I love walking and passing so many others going to shul-it truly does make us a community.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 1:34:25 AM PDT
Hanalah: "If you let the Reconstructionists sign off on your certificate, you won't be recognized by the frummies. I don't know if even the conservatives will recognize you. Please consider getting a signature with maximum clout."

Lev: The Reconstructionists in this city don't have a conversion program--to their shame--and so they sent me to a Reform conversion program. I completed the classes, but chose not to meet their beit din--there's too much atheism in the local Reform movement for my liking. Now I've almost completed the Conservative conversion program. I'm much more comfortable with the Conservative understanding of GD. I reckon in time I'll begin the Orthodox conversion programme--I might as well collect the entire set.

Hanalah: "I love you and want everyone to recognize you!"

Lev: Why, shucks, ma'am--I could just blush myself to death!"
Bern: rather like this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0miQsmj6TE

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 5:37:32 AM PDT
Lev says:
IN RESPONSE TO SARAH

Hanalah: "By the way, Lev, do you have peyas?"

Lev: "At a Reconstructionist shul? I think I would be the first person to be excommunicated before his conversion."

Sarah: "But that's exactly what the Jewish community needs: impossible extremes of creative non-conformity. As a former quasi-Reconstructionist I would attend the ceremony. Or both of them."

Lev: Somebody walked up to me at kiddush once and told me I was worshipping at the wrong shul because I was wearing tzittzit. I've also gotten a few raised eyebrows for wearing a black fedora.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 5:43:20 AM PDT
Lev says:
Bern: rather like this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0miQsmj6TE

Lev: Yisrael Campbell is a funny guy!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 10:23:06 AM PDT
Isaiah says:
Sarah: "But that's exactly what the Jewish community needs: impossible extremes of creative non-conformity. As a former quasi-Reconstructionist I would attend the ceremony. Or both of them."

Lev: Somebody walked up to me at kiddush once and told me I was worshipping at the wrong shul because I was wearing tzittzit. I've also gotten a few raised eyebrows for wearing a black fedora.

Sarah: Big surprise. And what did you used to wear to church? An Amish outfit? I'd tell you to study up on your sartorial signals, but I'm sure you know all you need to know. You're a non-conformist, you are! Keep them all off balance. I assume you'll be sauntering into an Orthodox shul, next, bareheaded in racing shorts and a muscle shirt.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 10:54:05 AM PDT
Lev says:
Sarah: "I assume you'll be sauntering into an Orthodox shul, next, bareheaded in racing shorts and a muscle shirt."

Lev: I can't believe I hadn't even thought of that!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 10:59:08 AM PDT
Isaiah says:
Sarah: "I assume you'll be sauntering into an Orthodox shul, next, bareheaded in racing shorts and a muscle shirt."

Lev: I can't believe I hadn't even thought of that!

Sarah: I live to serve.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 4:40:00 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Oct 13, 2010 4:41:01 PM PDT
jaime says:
Hanalah: "By the way, Lev, do you have peyas?"

Lev: "At a Reconstructionist shul? I think I would be the first person to be excommunicated before his conversion."

Sarah: "But that's exactly what the Jewish community needs: impossible extremes of creative non-conformity. As a former quasi-Reconstructionist I would attend the ceremony. Or both of them."

Lev: Somebody walked up to me at kiddush once and told me I was worshipping at the wrong shul because I was wearing tzittzit. I've also gotten a few raised eyebrows for wearing a black fedora.

Hanalah
All RIGHT!!!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 13, 2010 10:42:48 PM PDT
Balok says:
@Lev:

Sarah: "I assume you'll be sauntering into an Orthodox shul, next, bareheaded in racing shorts and a muscle shirt."

Lev: I can't believe I hadn't even thought of that!

It's been done a lot more often than you probably think, although the person in question would probably be given something with which to cover his head. The only synagogue where I was refused entry because I was wearing shorts was the Fifth Avenue Synagogue in Manhattan (which makes sense, I suppose); I happened to be in Central Park one July 4th and was looking for a minyan for mincha.

Posted on Jul 5, 2011 5:09:41 AM PDT
In Pursuit of Happiness So for a humorous look at synagogue life, please check out my story about Rabbi Elliott Bernstein, who takes over the pulpit at Congregation Rodef Simcha.
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Discussion in:  Judaism forum
Participants:  12
Total posts:  50
Initial post:  Jun 15, 2008
Latest post:  Jul 5, 2011

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