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AmaDome 2012: Round I: Arena VI


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Initial post: Dec 12, 2012 9:28:22 AM PST
Splinker says:
Listen all! This is the truth of it.

Writing leads to thinking, and thinking leads to writing.
And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone yelling about Neckties and teachers.

But we've learned, by the dust of them all... AmaDome learned. Now, when writer's get to writing, it happens here! And it finishes here!

Two writers enter; one writer leaves.

Welcome to AMADOME 2012! ARENA VI !!

This is the tournament AmaDome, with prizes and anything. So read carefully.

The Genre: Crime!

I'll post them shortly. And remember, this is my RIFLE and this is my GUN! Let's play!

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 9:28:45 AM PST
Splinker says:
THE INNOCENT CHILD

"William DeMarco Kiernan! Get down here!"

Bill was sorting a pile of comics in the attic, separating the junk from potential sales. He was covered in dust and he knew from experience his mother had little sympathy with dust, so he ignored her in the hope she didn't know where he was.

"I know you're up there. Get down here NOW."

No escape.

He sighed and put his treasures to one side and went to find out what had set her off this time. He mentally reviewed his recent past for criminal activity. Had he forgotten to clear his pockets before putting his jeans out to wash, left the lid off the ketchup bottle or put an empty milk carton back in the fridge?

All were possible; some were probably.

She was standing outside his bedroom and he knew instantly she had been snooping again. Her face was shading towards beetroot and her mouth had bunched itself into the round pucker which reminded Bill of a cat's behind. She thrust out a hand and he saw she had found the wallet.

When it came to ferreting out stuff she wasn't supposed to know about, his mother was better than a bloodhound with two noses.

"What is this?" she demanded.

"It's a wallet, Ma," Bill replied. "My wallet."

"Your wallet? There's over a thousand dollars in here. Where did you get it?"

"It's mine. I earned it."

"I don't believe you," she replied.

No, he thought, you can never bring yourself to believe anything good about me, can you.

"I earned it," he repeated, with a shrug.

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him, her foot tapping as she jumped to conclusions.

"Have you been stealing?" she demanded.

"Jeez, Ma!"

"I think I've been short a few times," she continued. "And I bet if I ask your father he'll say the same."

"Yeah, right. I took a grand from you and you never noticed."

"Don't get smart with me, young man. I want to know where every penny of this came from."

"I told you, I earned it. You know how much yard work I do for the neighbours. And I made a fair bit selling stuff online."

She wasn't listening and Bill wasn't surprised, she never listened. He kicked himself for not having hidden the wallet better, but it never occurred to him she would raise the carpet and check every floorboard until she found the one with the clean shiny screws and take the trouble to prise it up.

"If you got this from working, the neighbours will confirm it," she announced. "Come on, we're going to ask them."

"Hell, Ma! Do you want to get me fired?"

"Why would they do that? Apparently you're doing such a great job; they're willing to pay you over the odds."

"Do you think I've stolen from them?"

She rounded on him, her face now twisted in contempt.

"Yes," she said. "I do."

He trailed after her, wondering for the hundredth time what he had done to make her distrust him so much. He knew she didn't like him, he had always known that, but it had only been in the last couple of years he had realised she knew nothing of love.

Had he loved and respected her, he might have wondered why.

She dragged him to each of the neighbours to ask what they had been paying him. He watched each face as their eyes flickered from his mother to him. Not one of them had any complaint and most had nothing but compliments. Bill saw her getting more and more frustrated and annoyed.

"I told you," he said.

"What they paid doesn't come to a quarter of this," she replied. "And you never made the rest selling your junk."

She gazed about the street looking for more prey.

"I bet it was Mr and Mrs Samuels," she said in triumph.

The Samuels had been in their early forties and childless when they moved in; Bill's mother had approved, but she'd sneered when eighteen months later a baby had appeared.

She was sneering now as Mrs Samuel's offered her coffee and cake in the kitchen, leaving Bill with the pretty toddler.

Bill watched them go and then bent to steal a kiss from his daughter.

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 9:29:22 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Dec 12, 2012 9:32:41 AM PST
Splinker says:
(A note: This story is told from one POV - you have to imagine the rest of the dialogue.)

SLAY RIDE

RE: Record of interview with Mrs Poppy Paxton-Stuart (please file)

"Just because I was widowed three times before I was twenty-five doesn't make me some sort of murderer, Mr Rutherford. I had absolutely nothing to do with any of my husbands' deaths ...

"My first husband? That was Toby Locke. We met at high school and that was it for both of us-inseparable. Captain of the football team, great rower, champion athlete. Then of course he got into drag racing and ... well, we had two years of wedded bliss.

"My second? Well, after Toby died in that fire when his fuel line broke, Mum and Dad said I needed a holiday to get over it. They sent me and Kayla... Kayla's my best friend ... to New Zealand ... Lake Wanaka, where they have that heli-skiing?

"Kayla? We lost touch after Marco got killed in that avalanche. It was a confusing time ... Marco? Marco was my second. He was a Swiss ski instructor and took a lot of time teaching me. I pretended to be a novice, but I'd been skiing for years.

"Then I lost my skis and he bought me new ones. Then I lost my ski poles, my phone, and one night when Kayla and I were partying someone stole my jewellery and my credit cards. It was awful-I had to ring Dad for some more money and stuff. Marco even lent me his phone.

"Then after we ended up in his chalet one night, y'know, when I'd had a few drinks, but he said he didn't want to take advantage of me 'cos I was pretty upset with all the bad luck I'd been having and all, so he said let's get married, so I said yes and he found a celebrant to marry us a few days later.

"Anyway, Marco insisted on making a will in my favour, so of course I had to make one in his favour. He spoke really good English with a cute Italian accent. Didn't I say? Milani, Marco Milani.

"I suppose I'm officially Mrs Poppy Stuart now. But I prefer Paxton, my maiden name. I think Poppy Paxton has a sort of, I don't know, a nice ring to it-it just sounds right. Or maybe I could go with Paxton-Stuart?

"No, no, Paxton-Locke-Milani-Stuart just sounds plain silly. Are you making fun of me, Mr Rutherford? ...

"All right ... Martin. Can I ask you a question, Martin? In your experience as a lawyer do you think the police have a case against me? I really haven't done anything, I promise.

"Thanks, coffee would be lovely ...

"Adam, Adam Stuart was my next. I didn't kill him, in spite of what that jealous bitch Paula King said. His micro-light crashed when he was off looking for some straying cattle. How could I have ...

"Anyway ... where was I? Oh yes. With Marco. It was so cool. Two weeks after we got married we found that Marco's great uncle had died and left him a lot of money. He was so thrilled he wanted to race off to Switzerland straight away but I said, babe, we're on our honeymoon. Leave it till next week and we can go together. Then the avalanche and poor Marco was gone.

"It was real strange ...the Swiss lawyer told me the estate would bring around ten million dollars in our money. And it did too ...

"Adam? Adam was a grazier, a business bud of Dad's actually ... Oh, a lot younger than Dad, of course and he'd always had a thing for me ...Yes, I was twenty-four by then.

"Sorry, Martin, I've lost track again. Oh, yes, thanks ....

"Mum and dad were pretty upset when I married Marco. Mum always wanted a big splashy wedding for me, you know, hundreds of guests, doves, champagne, marquee in the garden.

"Toby and I eloped so she didn't get her big wedding then, so with Adam we had all that splashy stuff ...

"Kayla? No, I don't know where she is now. Okay, I did find her in his room one night, but Kayla said they were planning the wedding party. Kayla wouldn't cheat on me.

"A helicopter? They reckon it set the avalanche off? I was actually in a helicopter because I wanted to try that heli-skiing. I thought Marco had gone to Queenstown on business. I didn't want him to know how good a skier I was so it was my best chance. Yes, we saw the avalanche; I shot some video of it actually. How could I know Marco would be there? ...

"Kayla? What? When? ... Oh, no. They found her body this morning when the snow melted? Not far from where they found Marco? I don't understand ...

"Yes, of course I can prove where I was. Do they really think? ... No way. I am so glad I've got you on my side, Martin ... You are such a nice man ...

"Who was that? ... What did he say? ... Charges dropped? Oh, Martin, thank you ... Dinner tonight? That would be nice."

***
Australian Couple's Honeymoon Tragedy
ST. MORITZ

Eminent Australian lawyer, Martin Rutherford and his bride of four weeks, the former Poppy Paxton-Stuart, were involved in a fatal accident when their sleigh plunged down a mountainside yesterday. Mr Rutherford was thrown out of the sleigh into a snow-bank, but his young bride was killed instantly. Mr Rutherford was instrumental in clearing a murder charge against his wealthy wife six months ago. They married after a whirlwind romance and were honeymooning in St. Moritz. Mr Rutherford refused to comment on rumours of financial irregularities in his accounts.

Mrs Rutherford's body will be flown back to Australia for burial.

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 10:00:43 AM PST
Pete Morin says:
I go with Innocent Child.

Slay Ride might have worked better with a different structure, although I applaud the author for taking a big risk. Didn't quite work for me, though. (Splinks - I think your introduction is a thumb on the scale)

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 12, 2012 10:03:41 AM PST
Splinker says:
The introduction was provided by the writer.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 12, 2012 10:05:49 AM PST
Pete Morin says:
Thanks for clarifying.

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 10:37:09 AM PST
AGAIN... two great stories. Another difficult choice.

Slay Ride

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 11:01:40 AM PST
Slay Ride for me - crime with a comic edge.

Both great stories though.

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 1:31:00 PM PST
Kelli says:
slay ride

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 1:47:53 PM PST
Splinker says:
Vote!

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 2:11:33 PM PST
Antonia says:
Slay Ride!

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 2:15:18 PM PST
Lamplight says:
Nice job on both I will vote for Slay Ride

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 2:48:32 PM PST
KOBA says:
Slay Ride

Posted on Dec 12, 2012 5:00:32 PM PST
Slay Ride

Posted on Dec 13, 2012 2:10:34 AM PST
Matthew Fish says:
It took me a moment to get it...but I'm voting Innocent Child.

Posted on Dec 13, 2012 4:36:21 AM PST
Hmm difficult again.
I liked both.
Slay Ride...the ending was not on par with the rest, but I loved the structure and the way it was presented.

Vote for Innocent Child...

Posted on Dec 13, 2012 5:40:24 AM PST
Innocent Child

Posted on Dec 13, 2012 6:24:33 AM PST
Enjoyed both stories.

Slay Ride

Posted on Dec 13, 2012 7:50:07 AM PST
Pat Black says:
I vote for Slay Ride

Posted on Dec 13, 2012 6:09:44 PM PST
Slay Ride

Thank You

Posted on Dec 15, 2012 9:02:51 AM PST
Irish reader says:
Tough call (again) as both stories were so well-written. 'The Innocent Child' gets my vote - just.

Posted on Dec 18, 2012 3:36:10 AM PST
My vote is for Slay Ride.

Posted on Dec 18, 2012 5:02:01 AM PST
Splinker says:
Voting ends at midnight!

Posted on Dec 19, 2012 8:38:22 AM PST
Splinker says:
Voting is closed! New arena up in a day or so, depending on my blood pressure. I will give out victory kudos etc. when I can.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 19, 2012 8:54:27 AM PST
Just take it easy, Splink. If you need any help, shout.
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Discussion in:  Kindle Book forum
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Initial post:  Dec 12, 2012
Latest post:  Dec 22, 2012

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