Customer Discussions > Kindle forum

Bud the Crud Goes to H-E-Double Sticks: The Final Instalment


Sort: Oldest first | Newest first
Showing 476-500 of 1000 posts in this discussion
In reply to an earlier post on Jun 6, 2012 5:16:58 PM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
goes off the sharpen my BPS to a fine point. Okay there will be blood to clean up. Just warning you!

Posted on Jun 7, 2012 10:56:30 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jun 7, 2012 10:57:00 AM PDT
If you've been reading about all the junk that's happened to me, you know vampires, real vampires, don't look or act anything like the ones you see in movies or on TV. For one, you can forget about them wearing tuxedos. I mean, Will had on khaki shorts and a v-neck shirt for Pete's sake. And forget about the slicked back hair, too or the long fingernails. Will would never admit it, but I'd be willing to bet he gets manicures and goes to a hair dresser regularly. And vampires don't go skulking around your garden late at night. Or if they do, it's just because they're lonely and want someone to play a round of Go Fish or Parcheesi with them. To be honest, I'm not even sure Will drinks blood. At least I've never seen him. And you only get to see his fangs when he's really, really mad, which, I'm a little disappointed to say, is almost never. Except for the pasty skin, Will could walk right by you at the mall and you wouldn't even feel the need to pull your collar up a little higher. Pretty much up to this point, it's been one big, fat let-down.

Camille changed all that. There was no confusing her for anything except a living dead, sunlight-fearing, fangsucker from h-e-l-l. She had on a long, black dress that looked painted on except for at the sleeves and feet where tangles of spider-web like fabric spilled out. In the front, the dress was cut pretty much cut down to her belly button, but don't get any bright ideas of sneaking a peak. I had a feeling that one little second where your eyes went wandering was all it would take for her to be on your neck. She had long black hair which framed the whitest face you ever saw. Her nails were knife-sharp and pitch black. Her lips were as bright red as a stop sign and, to be honest, I don't know if that was their natural color or if she just hadn't cleaned up properly from lunch. Her eyes were dark, dark like when you get your pupils dilated, dark like a wishing well, dark like a sewer drain. She was smiling, but it wasn't a friendly smile-it was a, `my what big fangs I have smile'.

She was frightening, but beautiful. Mostly frightening.

I let out an `eep' and, I'm a little embarrassed to admit, hid behind Guy. I don't know what chance he had against her, but I knew for sure Will was out of his league. It was like a toy tank going up against the real thing.

"Camille," Will gasped.

She let out a little laugh which was soft and dainty and didn't at all go with the creature who'd just made me pee myself a little. (Don't worry, I brought extra drawers on this trip. If I've learned anything from palling around with Will and Guy, it's always keep a pair handy. They get into some spooky stuff).

"It's good to see you, William. How long has it been?"

Will flushed red which is probably the worst color to be around a vampire like that. Heck, if I had a pair of shears I would've shaved my hair off right then and there. "Too long," he said.

"356 years, 184 days, and..." She looked over at Atticus. "What time is it?"

"I-"

"Don't answer that," Camille said holding up a finger and I swear Atticus bit through his lip to stop himself from talking. "I was being facetious."

She stepped down the stairs and headed towards Will. The rest of us couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

Posted on Jun 7, 2012 11:11:15 AM PDT
Zebras says:
Run, Will, Run

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 3:52:11 PM PDT
G Jaros says:
I agree with Bud, guacamole IS holy :)

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 3:55:48 PM PDT
G Jaros says:
My birthday was 3 weeks ago and I never got a double post :(, though I am ashamed to even mention it, since I have visited so little lately! ( work= busy, home= busy, Gayle = stressed)

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 3:57:18 PM PDT
G Jaros says:
Yikes! Now that it what I call a vampire!!!!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 6:49:32 PM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
OoooOOOooOOoohhh, Camile doesn't look or sound like she is going to fool around! I am getting behind Zebras!

I love Bud! Thanks, Jamie!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 6:51:01 PM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
Looks at Zebras, just where is Will going to run? He is going to have to take it like a man! Crosses fingers and toes for Will . . .

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 6:52:38 PM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
That is true! I can vouch for G! The birthday and the busy life stuff too/to/tutu! :-D

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 7, 2012 6:55:58 PM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
*giggles* Jamie said 'h-e-l-l'

Posted on Jun 8, 2012 9:51:52 AM PDT
"It's good to see you, William. How long has it been?"

Will flushed red which is probably the worst color to be around a vampire like that. Heck, if I had a pair of shears I would've shaved my hair off right then and there. "Too long," he said.

"Let me refresh your memory...356 years, 184 days, and..." She looked over at Atticus. "What time is it?"

"I-"

"Don't answer that," Camille said holding up a finger and I swear Atticus bit through his lip to stop himself from talking. "I was being facetious."

She stepped down the stairs and headed towards Will. The rest of us couldn't get out of the way fast enough. "I'd given up on you, dear heart. But here you are and I see you've brought some snacks with you." She looked over at me and licked her lips.

"These are my friends!" Will said and held his hands up protectively in front of him.

"Friends?" Camille said like it was the first time she'd heard that word before. "Still a sentimental fool, I see." She was real close to Will now. "You look different," she said and then sniffed the air around him.
"You smell different, too. You've been away from your own kind. I hardly recognize you. Perhaps if you turn around and run, it'd trigger some memory."

"I'm sorry," Will whispered.

"Whatever for, love?"

"Abandoning you here."

And Camille laughed again in that high-pitched, little girl voice. Parts of my body shrank into other parts of my body. "Oh, that," she finally said and waved her hand dismissively in the air. "I've long forgiven you for that. I probably would have done the same had I been just a little faster." She stepped past Will and looked at each of us.

"Why are you here now? Surely not just to apologize? You were always a soft touch, William. I hated that about you." Camille stopped in front of Guy. "You've brought a werewolf? You never cease to surprise."

"I want to bring you home."

"Home?" Camille asked. "This is my home." She stepped over to Atticus. "You smell like a withered husk of corn."

Atticus opened his mouth, but then thought better of it.

"A magician I assume." She stepped away from Atticus before he could correct her. "Don't get me wrong, William. I hated you for many years, but as it turns out this isn't such a horrible place. I have the sunlight. I have power. I've made this place into the kind of place we always dreamed about. At least once I eliminated the angels. Bloody do gooders." She stopped in front of me. She leaned in close towards my neck and it took all my will-power not to move. Imagine having a poisonous spider crawling up your arm. The last thing you want to do is move and frighten it and have it bite you, but everything in your body is saying, 'Errgghh, a spider,' throw your arms in the hair and run around in a circle. "You smell the most different," she said to me. "Smells like...magic." She lingered in front of me, "What are you, little one?"

Before I could register, Will was in front of me. "He doesn't concern you."

"Everything concerns me--I am the queen!" Camille said and her voice echoed throughout the hall. Things that had shrunk into my body, suddenly sank down. Even Will took a step back.

Myron stopped rubbing his butt against the stone column and stepped up behind Camille. Like she needed the help.

"Forgive me." Will bowed his head. I was real glad it was him on the hot-seat and not Guy. Guy would've challenged her to an arm-wrestling contest or told her to stick something someplace uncomfortable and then we'd all be vampire appetizers.

"It's of no consequence." Camille waved her hand dismissively in the air. "You're here now. That's all that matters." She stepped up behind Will and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You can take my side as my king and we can rule together. Just as we had planned."

"Uh, no," I blurted out. "He's married to my sister." I could see Will stiffen. Guy muttered something about 'butt for brains' and Atticus took some major steps towards the exit. I've taken a few licks here and there defending my sister when some of the guys at school said some stuff, but I never thought I'd die protecting her.

Camille took the news a lot more calmly than I would have thought, but I could see her grip tighten on Will. "No matter," she said and her voice lowered the temperature in the room about twenty degrees. My teeth were literally chattering. "No one ever leaves here."

Posted on Jun 8, 2012 11:48:44 AM PDT
Zebras says:
Run Buddy Run.

thank you Jamie, I thought I was going to have to claim 5 birthdays just to get a chapter!

Posted on Jun 8, 2012 12:19:23 PM PDT
OK, who brought the garlic? I think Bud's going to need a bunch here....

Posted on Jun 8, 2012 1:50:17 PM PDT
Zebras says:
Mom, I think we have some garlic cookies left over from some prior emergency.

Posted on Jun 8, 2012 1:52:02 PM PDT
Probably true, they didn't go over as well as expected..... ;)

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 8, 2012 7:51:13 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jun 8, 2012 7:57:59 PM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
OMG!!!!! What in the world, or other world, was Bud thinking!

Camille is going to be very hard to deal with here! What to do, what to do, what to do?

starts *shaking* with fear, how am I going to get to sleep tonight? I feel very unsafe since Camille eliminated all of the angels! . . . runs to hide behind Zebras . . . 0-:(

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 8, 2012 8:13:17 PM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
Uh, yeah! You 'sploded ME! Remember? :(

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 8, 2012 8:16:15 PM PDT
Only to see if you were a vampire.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, Camille....

Runs to hide behind Zebs and ?wazi.....

Posted on Jun 9, 2012 5:58:17 AM PDT
Zebras says:
Zebras running off to watch cars go around in circles going nowhere this weekend. Pocono 400 anyone?

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 9, 2012 10:35:53 AM PDT
?wazithinkin says:
They're making a left turn! How exciting! :-D Really though, have a good time!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 10, 2012 9:58:00 PM PDT
judester says:
That's cool. :)

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 10, 2012 9:58:48 PM PDT
judester says:
LOL ... my sentiments exactly.

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 10, 2012 10:02:14 PM PDT
judester says:
Awesome!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 10, 2012 10:06:17 PM PDT
judester says:
LOL ... love it!

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 10, 2012 10:11:40 PM PDT
judester says:
Camille is sc-scary.
[Add comment]
Add your own message to the discussion
To insert a product link use the format: [[ASIN:ASIN product-title]] (What's this?)
Prompts for sign-in
 


 

This discussion

Discussion in:  Kindle forum
Participants:  16
Total posts:  1296
Initial post:  Mar 27, 2012
Latest post:  Aug 18, 2013

New! Receive e-mail when new posts are made.
Tracked by 13 customers

Search Customer Discussions