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kids and sex?

Discussion moved to this forum by Amazon on Oct 6, 2010 2:28:13 PM PDT.


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Initial post: Oct 5, 2010 10:40:18 PM PDT
c---kuta says:
i know some parents would like to pretend their children only do what they tell them. other parents are wiser tho

do you think providing condoms or getting your daughter on bc promotes this evil unnatural behavior called sex? yes im joking about the evil unnatural part. im not sure today you can just say not to do it. i think a bit of insurance is a good thing. its not about a lack of trust or sponsoring the activity but what else can you really do?

having a daughter is scary...

Posted on Oct 5, 2010 11:16:16 PM PDT
Sick Daddy says:
I think you'd want to talk to them about sex before simply buying them birth control.

Posted on Oct 5, 2010 11:42:39 PM PDT
Pookie 3.14 says:
The biggest issue is most people think that the sex talk starts at teen years. It's an ongoing discussion from the time the child is able to speak.

Posted on Oct 5, 2010 11:51:14 PM PDT
Knowing from childhood that sex is for reproduction, that your parents had sex to have kids, watching the dogs mate to make puppies, takes all of the taboo and mystery away.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 12:01:04 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Oct 6, 2010 12:08:22 AM PDT
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Posted on Oct 6, 2010 12:35:25 AM PDT
SLOTH says:
HMMMMMM.... We're talking teenagers here. Educate, Educate, Educate! The more you listen to your kids the more you will understand how much they understand. They never think it will happen to them. They never think about the outcome. It is kind of how MOST Americans are with credit cards... Instant gratification is one of the worst character down falls all of us have at times. We don't think about HMMMMM. How am I gonna get the money to pay ON these cards after all of the holiday hoopla and propaganda is over. Some worse than others. It's all fine and dandy until your sweet little girlfriend winds up pregnant at 15. On top of that the male CHILD has grown little pieces of something on his penis that looks like cauliflower... OOOOPs! Talk to your kids. They are going to be adults and you were once a child, don't make it difficult and most important be HONEST.

Posted on Oct 6, 2010 12:41:14 AM PDT
Sick Daddy says:
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In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 12:48:39 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Oct 6, 2010 12:50:42 AM PDT
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In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 1:05:56 AM PDT
Susan says:
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Posted on Oct 6, 2010 2:58:07 AM PDT
OldAmazonian says:
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Posted on Oct 6, 2010 4:15:32 AM PDT
Talk to them about all the repercussions of sexual activity, the physical dangers (AID's, VD, Pregnancy, etc), the psychological costs (being used, becoming a topic for gossip, the hurt of when a relationship ends) and the degree to which the decisions they make now can impact their life. If you can stand to be personal talk about some of the stupid things you've done and the regrets you have, if any. Talk to them about homosexuality and tell them you will accept and love them even if they are gay. After you've said all that talk about contraceptives, how they are used, their failure rates, etc. After you've talked about that tell them you will be willing to provide condoms and or take your female children to the doctor for contraceptives.

I don't approve of casual sex but I don't think expecting teenagers to remain chaste is a viable option. Hormones and societal pressure are too strong. I think the best you can do is warn and educate them and provide contraceptives if needed so they don't do something that will adversely effect the rest of their life.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 4:17:13 AM PDT
Pookie 3.14 says:
Purchasing condoms for your child doesn't mean that you keep a steady stream of condoms flowing. While educating them about sex, giving a teen condoms would simply be part of the education process... how many kids do you think use condoms their first time? Were they ready NO but they still had sex... and it was still unprotected.

Once again... teaching a child about sex from an early EARLY age (including not making naked a taboo) should (in theory) make it less interesting. Your child wants what they believe they can't have... they want to look at what they believe is off limits.

I have a six year old... when she was born we asked about the nakedness thing... the doctor told us that honestly we don't have to be worried until she becomes "interested in what she sees"... so we went on our business... funny thing... she has not become interested in what she sees, and she didn't go through a naked period. We talked to her doctor about it and he asked what our behaviors are when we're naked around her... and i told him we really just go about our business and don't act any differently then if she wasn't there. If she wanders into the bedroom and daddy is getting dressed... he just continues on his way and doesn't even have that "oops" reaction where he covers himself up... she honestly could care less. The reason she isn't interested in what daddy's got or what mommy's got... is she's been exposed to it (in a healthy manner) and the whole mystery is gone.

Funny part... she did speak somewhat frankly one day in school about it. The kids were talking the slang terms for boy and girl parts... my daughter finally piped up and said..."it's a penis... now get over it" and went on her way. The teacher called me, not upset, but laughing at the frank and "what's the big deal?" attitude that my daughter had.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 4:21:06 AM PDT
Just educate them, answer their questions. I would make sure to introduce them to those in their area who have had an out of wedlock child, and are struggling. The other thing is to point out what cars they can afford based on different scenarios, and health care, and so forth, along the way. Having a child has a huge $$$ impact on one's life.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 4:46:08 AM PDT
Edward Yost says:
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Posted on Oct 6, 2010 4:46:59 AM PDT
I honestly don't know what I'll do until I'm faced with the situation. It's always easier to parent other people's kids, isn't it? LOL The thought of putting my daughter on birth control appalls me. Of course, she's not even 5 yet. You have to do what is best for your child.

I will tell you that seeing photos of various STDs made me always use condoms. OMG those photos are awful!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 4:52:29 AM PDT
J. Reid says:
Actually, I have a 12YO daughter and she knows what's going on. I know she has a friend that has perhaps already participated in "some of the behaviour". Don't for one minute believe they have to be in their teens these days.

Posted on Oct 6, 2010 5:17:28 AM PDT
When my step-daughter's mom had the big talk with her earlier this year (she's 11). She explained what sex was, and talked about periods and a whole bunch of related stuff. My SD's reaction was, "so, we women go through ALL of that, and men, they just have to get hard? That's not fair". LOL....she catches on quickly!

Posted on Oct 6, 2010 6:12:57 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Oct 6, 2010 6:13:31 AM PDT
Philly says:
There are no illegitimate babies; just illegitimate parents. Educate!!!

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 7:07:33 AM PDT
tonyS says:
You MUST have open and honest discussions with your children - boys & girls - about their sexual lives and birth control. Whether you like it, or consent to it, they're going to have sex when they're ready, and unless you want to become a grandparent before THEY'RE ready, you owe it to THEM.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 7:08:49 AM PDT
tonyS says:
Absurd to think that a teenager can, or will go to the pharmacy, supermarket or doctor to get birth control. Some day when you're old enough to have kids, you'll "get it".

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 7:10:25 AM PDT
tonyS says:
Yes, but teenage hormones seem to supersede every bit of education. With 4 kids ranging from 10 - 19, I've seen it first hand. Oh, the stories that I hear...

Posted on Oct 6, 2010 7:16:01 AM PDT
Susan_G says:
Our kids are 9 and 11, we've had "the talk" and we've been open and honest with them since they were able to ask questions. When they are old enough to have sex I hope the lines of communication will remain open, but I also know that this isn't always how it plays out. I will make condoms available to them, and if our daughter becomes sexually active, we will discuss birth control pills as a backup. I obviously don't want my kids dealing with pregnancy or STDs, but I also know teens WILL have sex, and it's foolish to think otherwise. I'd rather them be educated, safe, and have us to talk to should they need us, than to stick my head in the sand and act like it's not going to happen. As another poster mentioned, I've also made it clear to my kids that we do not care who they find themselves attracted to as they get older, and that we will love them equally regardless of whether they're straight, gay, bi, etc.

Posted on Oct 6, 2010 8:32:32 AM PDT
My DH and I finished every conversation with our sons from the time they were cognizant with the same sentence, "don't have sex" whether or not it was pertinent to the conversation at hand. I was hoping that subliminally it would have an effect on them. It did not. I believe they are doing it. I hope they are doing it safely.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 8:51:10 AM PDT
tonyS says:
OMG, to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 6, 2010 8:55:14 AM PDT
I know. I laughed so hard when her dad told me what she said, she is such a funny girl!
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Discussion in:  Parenting forum
Participants:  41
Total posts:  195
Initial post:  Oct 5, 2010
Latest post:  Jan 12, 2011

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