You didn't get invited to Barney Frank's wedding in Newton. That "Elizabeth Warren for Massachusetts" bumper sticker on your Prius has become a magnet for roadway ridicule.
But worst of all is what's happened to your hero, Barack Hussein Obama. The emperor has no clothes. Mighty Casey has struck out.
Everything was so much simpler when George Bush was president.
Was it a mere four years ago when Barack modestly predicted that just his nomination alone would be the moment "when the rise of the oceans began to slow?" On Friday - exactly four years and four days after the seas started receding - the modern Moses conceded that housing in the U.S. is "underwater," and that he hasn't done squat about it.
But hasn't he brought down the gas prices to $3.50 a gallon? Only $1.61 more to go and they'll be back to where they were on Bush's last day in office.
How can Barack be trailing the vulture capitalist Mitt Romney in Michigan? Don't these bitter clingers read The New York Times [NYT]?
Even Chris Matthews' leg has stopped tingling.
In 2008, everything was, you'll pardon the expression, black and white. Predator-drone attacks under Bush - unconstitutional genocidal terrorism. Five times as many Predator-drone attacks under Barack - brilliant strategy by our wartime president.
Whatever happened to anti-war candlelight vigils? You see them on TV about as often as you watch military coffins being unloaded at Dover AFB.
Which is to say, never.
Campaign spending was never an issue in 2008 when Barack was grinding McCain's moneymen into the dust. Then money was the mother's milk of politics. Now, this George, er Mitt Romney, is lowering the boom on His Wonderfulness.
A national scandal is what these super-PAC's are. Somebody call George Soros.
As a loyal moonbat, you'd love to respond to Jim Messina's endless email money grovels. But the trust funds Pater and Mumsy set up for you just aren't getting nearly the returns they did in the bad old days when Dick Cheney was unleashing hurricanes to ravage New Orleans.
The economy is "unexpectedly" sliding yet again, as the network anchors always say, but it's not Barack's fault. It can't be. He went to Harvard. It's all caused by those "headwinds" from Europe, that's what Jim Cramer blamed it on this week. And before that it was the warm winter, or the Japanese tsunami, and don't forget the early Easter, or was it the late Easter and, and ... George Bush!
Doesn't anyone remember Bush's jobless recovery - when unemployment was 4.5 percent? Now 3 million citizens have vanished from the workforce and unemployment is 8.2 percent. It's the new normal.
Whatever happened to "9/11 - An Inside Job?" Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan have vanished into the Witness Protection Program. Nancy Pelosi is babbling about ghosts in the White House. Guys in white coats are chasing the vice president with a net as he raves about "crops that don't depend on soil, water or fertilizer."
What a drag it is, being a moonbat.