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Prob the Woofer: Beyond the Chessboard


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Initial post: Jan 15, 2008 10:32:39 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 15, 2008 5:27:28 PM PST
'probabilist says:
-----
Note: a "Woofer" is one who has been inducted formally into The Antient and Disreputable Societie of Chainmail-Clad Pilot-Majors Who Say "Aye!"
-----

[Initial scene: TV's pub. Prob emerges from a Fox Hole and doesn't much like what he's hearing.]

It's gettin' pretty WEIRD in here...

Must be time for some exploring in the outer margins of the pub.

'Tis a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done before!

[Prob tucks a boomerang into the belt around his chainmail, stuffs his towel into the top of his right sea-boot, gets a running start with the steering oar, and pole-vaults through one of the black squares in the middle of the wall-hanging chessboard.]

Alleyez Oooooooooooop!

[It gets darker than the inside of Groucho Marx's dog. A disturbingly melodious voice intones, "Have a care: here be trolls and sprites." Prob does a rough parachute-landing-fall onto a hard surface, and feels around for his dropped steering oar. He stands, shoulders the oar, and sees a pinprick of light, glowing squarishly in a sort of sky-blue hue. It gets somewhat larger, and stays squarish in shape. He loosens the boomerang in his belt, shifts the steering oar to his other shoulder, and wonders aloud what he's walking on that crunches so.]

D'ye suppose this might be the left edge of Wales?

:-)P

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 4:58:20 PM PST
Golden Oldie says:
I dunno. It looks like East LA, to me...Do you have an extra boomerang?

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 5:24:48 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 15, 2008 5:26:25 PM PST
'probabilist says:
EK wrote:

> Do you have an extra boomerang?

I just have the one. But there are a few more under the cushions of the comfy chair. Most of them are made for left-handers, tho. Choose carefully.

P

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 5:34:07 PM PST
You forgot the lutefisk, prob! Luetfisk!

Admiralissimo Voodoo-
High Priest of Hilarity and Magical Back-Handed Compliments, Vanquisher of Evil Viking Hoards, Keeper of the Secrets of the One True Flying Spaghetti Monster, Maestro of The Melodious Moo of Mockery, Guardian of the Secret Recipe for Tutu-ed Voodoo's Hu-Fu, and Holder of The 5 Sacred Rings of Humour, Leg Warmers, Tutus, Gelatinous Substances, and Joyful Joyousness

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 5:39:34 PM PST
blueskies says:
Do balloon pilots count?

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 6:26:46 PM PST
Golden Oldie says:
Or untersea boat commanders?

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 6:57:50 PM PST
'probabilist says:
TB wrote:

> Do balloon pilots count?

Aye, if they say "Aye".

P

P.S. JL (I think) mentioned something about there being an "Ironic Maiden" out here somewhere?

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 6:58:21 PM PST
'probabilist says:
EK wrote:

> Or untersea boat commanders?

Aye, but nucs only.

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 6:58:56 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 15, 2008 7:37:27 PM PST
'probabilist says:
Lutefisk is in the eye of the beholder. And of the beholden.

P

vikingships dot tripod dot com slash OarDetail dot html

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 7:02:15 PM PST
'probabilist says:
EK wrote:

> It looks like East LA, to me

Perhaps it's what's left from a Wedge of Ales, then.

P

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 7:09:04 PM PST
blueskies says:
Aye Aye Capn
Shut inside an Ironic Maiden, shudder...stuck in the eye with faecitious comments....yeaowsir!
Aye Sir!

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 7:49:47 PM PST
In this fog how can you tell if it's Wales, Cornwall, Isle of Man, Ireland, Scotland, Brittany (well I guess you could if she flashes her...ah...well...uncovered....) or LAlaland?

Watch out for the sholes! Might have really rough callushes!

And the breakers are really vicious! they can leave you really broken up.

Where are the bouys and gulls?

D**n!

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 8:00:51 PM PST
[Deleted by Amazon on Sep 7, 2011 10:53:23 AM PDT]

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 8:17:34 PM PST
blueskies says:
James,
I am crop dusting the entire area with benzodiazapans--Xanax, Ativan, Valium
You are upsetting the Speedo boys
Beelzebubenzer
SSSHHH You will wake up Sizzlin E. She's had a hard night
Aye

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 8:38:35 PM PST
Bryan Borich says:
for a moment I thought Brezinski had crept in here

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 8:43:18 PM PST
'probabilist says:
The disturbingly melodious voice also said something about "beware the quantum-duct-tape" something-or-others...

P

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 15, 2008 9:42:04 PM PST
Bramosenos roars a challenge to Sir James and flashes his Claidheamh Mor
(Claymore) and woad besmeared and tartan clad leaps upon a table, which crashes under the weight, and Bramo falls head first into a large chamber pot. Reminds him of home and he decides to leave well enough alone. Sir James gallantly removes the toilet requisittttttte and offers to buy everyone a round. This is a different kind of Englishman, the lusty Celt decides and insists that they lay down their money together for two rounds. Sir James agrees only if Bramo will wash his face after and before the drinks are poured. "D**n straight," cries out Bramo and heads to the loo. Everyone has to wait though because the Fair Theresa is in there and.....

Refreshed in more ways than one, Bramo and the Fair Theresa, join the merry throng for laughs, brawls, libations, and general rambunctiousness.

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 4:27:07 AM PST
blueskies says:
Aye

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 9:00:37 AM PST
Golden Oldie says:
Aye aye

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 9:21:04 AM PST
blueskies says:
Sizzlin
It's about time you woke up, you wild creature. Let's go get our lattes and massages. BOYS! Speedo crew comes in, at the ready...

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 1:36:32 PM PST
'probabilist says:
hey! no boys in Speedos allowed beyond the chessboard!

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 1:39:02 PM PST
probablist

...ahh, speedos, brings back memories - I used to be proud of mine when i was ten - the ignorance of youth!
Pax

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 1:59:02 PM PST
blueskies says:
Prob,
Don't force me to woman the Burkha Fleet of Speed Boats again. The boys are, well, necessary. They serve our lattes and do stuff for us. Criminy, you get your oars! You get your math problems! You get boomerangs! I mean, I should get my toys!!!

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 2:24:55 PM PST
blueskies says:
Aye, capn. If you want to see something amazing, check out the porn site.
It's racked up close to 117 in the first few minutes it was posted. Sex sells!
My next thread is going to be Porn Again! AMAZING!

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 16, 2008 2:58:07 PM PST
'probabilist says:
TB wrote:

> I should get my toys

...but you can't bring them beyond the chessboard, and that's final. The local sprites wrap anyone (M, F or otherwise) they find clad in a Speedo (or less) in three hundred yards of quantum duct tape, then light a match to it.

:-|P
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Discussion in:  Religion forum
Participants:  65
Total posts:  6204
Initial post:  Jan 15, 2008
Latest post:  17 days ago

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