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The death of a dear agnostic father and a atheist mother


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Showing 151-175 of 754 posts in this discussion
In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 5:50:25 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 30, 2012 5:51:02 PM PDT
Jesus4us says:
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In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 6:00:54 PM PDT
S. Kessler says:
You are constantly advertising for Christianity. Why shouldn't Stephen advertise atheism in a thread he started to celebrate his non-religious parents? Why is it okay for you to constantly sing the praises of your belief but it's not okay for him? It was Stephen's thread. Nothing compelled you to post in it, except you wanted to bait him and whine, as usual.

In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 6:04:42 PM PDT
S. Kessler says:
Spl: You were just waiting for a Christian to shoe his "ugliness" so you could slam them,

SK: And congratulations to you for obliging him. You are such a hypocrite, Steve.

Spl: and add to your antiChristian advertisment. I'm not the fool you think I am.

SK: Bwahahahahahahaha!

In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 6:12:57 PM PDT
Jesus4us says:
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In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 6:13:36 PM PDT
Jesus4us says:
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In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 6:20:32 PM PDT
Spinoza says:
spl:

I just thought it was tacky to use hsi parents' death for that purpose. But at least we agree that it was an advertisement for the atheistic life. You show honesty and insight.

Spinoza says:

I didn't think it possible, but you have just outdone even yourself for tackiness and hypocrisy. Truly remarkable, that someone who claims to be a Christian can be so blind to his own shortcomings.

I don't think you are a Christian, Steve. I don't even think you have any conception of what Christianity is about.

The only person I see here who needs to get right with God and work on himself is you. Good luck, cause you have got some row to hoe.

In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 7:11:53 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 30, 2012 7:14:00 PM PDT
Jesus4us says:
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In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 7:23:41 PM PDT
S. Kessler says:
Thanks, Steve, for calling me honest and insightful. Sure wish I could say the same for you.

In reply to an earlier post on May 30, 2012 8:08:38 PM PDT
Jesus4us says:
S. Kessler says:
Thanks, Steve, for calling me honest and insightful.

spl: I have to give credit where credit is due.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 8:02:19 AM PDT
J. Russell says:
spl: I just thought it was tacky to use hsi parents' death for that purpose.

My response:
How many propoted "death bed conversions" have been invented over the years. Don't preach to me about using somebodys death to support a religious point of view..
BTW I did not see him supporting a religious point of view, just explaning his parents point of view. Apparently one can not even explane what one's point of view is without it being an promotion according to you.

Posted on May 31, 2012 8:16:16 AM PDT
King's Kid says:
I'm very sorry for your loss(es) and I envy you somewhat. My mother dropped dead when I was 18 (she was 56) My father died about 10 years later. You had terrific parents for a long time. The pain will lessen in time but what a wonderful blessing they were to you, your sibs, kids and so on. And yes I am a believer as were my parents.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 9:06:21 AM PDT
Let's see - StevePL has jumped into this forum topic which I started, and made a number of accusations. I explained my goals at the outset, saying - "In addition to the possibility that an honest discussion about death and the non-believer might illicit some fresh perspectives, I hope that it might also open up a rational discussion about morality and ethics without a theological underpinning. My parents are exemplary role models for secular humanism."
Since then I've been accused of being a liar, using the death of my parents to "advertise for atheism" and hating Christianity and Christians. I hoped that in starting this very personal topic that others might contribute some positive anecdotes or fresh insights to the subject. Perhaps someone who's questioning their religious upbringing, rethinking their theological beliefs and dealing with the very real concerns about human ethics, mortality and having a life well-lived could benefit from an open and frank discussion. I did suspect that someone might insult my parents beliefs because of their own "rigid" interpretations of theology... but knew that their legacy of achievements, their devotion to each other and intellectual honesty was worth sharing. At this point, I'm tired of the personal accusations and divisive direction this forum has taken and wish that the discussion could have stayed more focused.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 9:48:25 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on May 31, 2012 10:34:20 AM PDT
J. Russell says:
I understand.
My parents had much the same situation. My father was an atheist. Although he did become a lay minister in the Unitarian Church.
After my father died my mother reverted back to the Methodism of her youth. After she discovered she had lukemeia(the non maligant type) her reconversion was during the time she as awaiting the news of the type of lukemia she had. However she never attended church in Atlanta when she was there as she said she hated the "finger pointing sermons" as she called it. She only attended the small church her father went to outside Bucksport Maine where the Minister preached the Bible as alliglorical truth, not literal truth. Even then I have to wonder how much of it was the comfort of childhood friends who still attended that church as well as childhood memories of that church. I never asked as all I cared about was her comfort in her last few years.

Oh damn there is that dampness comming from my eyes again as I think about my mother.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 1:28:00 PM PDT
sfon says:
Hello Stephen,

I lost my father just a few weeks ago. I miss him very much, but my primary focus has been on providing comfort to my mother. They were married for 54 years, and she is now feeling his absence most profoundly. She has been focusing on all of the wonderful memories over the years... and such has been a comfort to me as well.

My condolences for your loss,
sfon

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 1:35:51 PM PDT
MaryAnn H. says:
What a wonderful, compassionate and moving memorial. Having lost my atheist mother 6 months ago, my eyes were swimming as I read your post.

It is such a journey that you took with your father and will now take with your mother. It will be a bonding and healing time for all of you. I wish you a safe and loving trip.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 1:42:32 PM PDT
MaryAnn H. says:
StevePL remains very insecure in his own beliefs and therefore lashes out at every opportunity to challenge "non believers". Do not let him derail you, that is what the ignore button is for. There are lots of people on this thread who sincerely appreciate the opportunity to intelligently and emotionally discuss the topic of death and how we each deal with it.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 1:45:54 PM PDT
sfon,

Sorry to hear about your loss. I had to comfort my dad 10 years ago now. Someone gave him a copy of "Doors Close, Doors Open". He couldn't figure out why as most of the book was directed at women, but a respected male friend gave him it and so he continued through it. He now doesn't even remember the book, although at the time it seemed to be important to him in the end. We did find a support group for him, at his request --- most resisted because they felt the time was too short. He was ready. His biggest problem was that he thought he could "rationally reason" through his grief. He couldn't control his thoughts that well, although it had always worked before.

Please allow her to continue to tell the stories, and share yours with her. I've learned some things about my childhood that my Dad thought I knew ....

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 1:47:15 PM PDT
MaryAnn,

Well said.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 1:53:37 PM PDT
MaryAnn H. says:
:0) - I did have to smile at your comment regarding things that your Dad thought you knew. My mom and I spent a lot of time the last months going over "I thought you knew that" stories. I also discovered she had a rather sneaky side ...

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 2:00:02 PM PDT
MaryAnn,

I found out that my one of my best friend's life had been threaten because she was friends with me. The school called and told my Mom that they could protect me, but they would be separating our classes so as not to appear together and protect the friend. (We rode the city bus together and so it wasn't totally possible)

My Dad tends not to pass on family information, not because it may appear as gossip but more as not necessarily important. It isn't that he isn't interested, because if you start the conversation he can often add to the conversation.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 2:24:49 PM PDT
sfon says:
Reed N.D. Dark says: "His biggest problem was that he thought he could "rationally reason" through his grief."

We have joys, we have sorrows, we must experience both. It is a balance.

Thank you, Reed.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 2:26:18 PM PDT
sfon,

Your welcome.

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 5:08:01 PM PDT
Jesus4us says:
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In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 5:42:51 PM PDT
S. Kessler says:
If he had an agenda (and I'm not suggesting it was the one YOU think he had) how is that any different from you preaching to the rest of us day in and day out?

In reply to an earlier post on May 31, 2012 5:44:03 PM PDT
S. Kessler says:
Hi, Reed, I'm wondering if I missed something by skipping some posts. Forgive me for asking, and don't answer if you don't want to, but what on earth could make being your friend that dangerous?
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Discussion in:  Religion forum
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Total posts:  754
Initial post:  Jan 13, 2012
Latest post:  Nov 2, 2013

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