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Hilarious mistakes in (mostly self-published) books

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In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 3:18:56 PM PST
AmeliaAT says:
I wonder if they're weeping copiously when they pour over something like that.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 3:23:49 PM PST
Yes, AmeliaAT! I have come across the 'vial' switcheroo as well and I always start thinking of drugs or a blood sample... oi!

I am still laughing over the new definition of punt that I learned or maybe the heroine was signed to the NFL with all the punting she was doing around her Hero.

I am still laughing over JennyG.'s "she piddled with her fork". Very ladylike and it may just start a new trend.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 3:52:16 PM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
Australian who has lived in England here.

My first thought when seeing the word "punt" is "bet". Punting means putting a bet on something (like at the races).

My second thought was one of those boats. People go punting on rivers not only in England but also here in the Southern Hemisphere.

My third thought was "customer". At a pub in England you'll have the "punters" come in for a drink.

It was also Ireland's unit of currency until about ten years ago.

Didn't know it was a football thing too!

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 3:52:35 PM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
Ugh. That's not a mistake though! Maya Banks uses the word "piddle" in her books all the time. I don't even know what she thinks it means, but everywhere I've lived it means something you do on a toilet! Banks uses a lot of really localised slang in her books - much of it hilarious to me!

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 3:57:59 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Feb 29, 2012 3:58:40 PM PST
grungebetty says:
To piddle also means to dawdle, or to waste time, in an informal manner.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 4:01:32 PM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
Well, I guess that's the meaning she was going for!

But for people who use British English, using "piddle" is as cringe-worthy as using "fanny" for someone's rear end. It creeps me out to no end when American heroes admire a woman's "fanny"!

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 4:04:43 PM PST
AmeliaAT says:
"Piddle" also means, well, to piddle in U.S. English. However, there are other uses -- like "piddle about," which is similar to dawdle or fritter away or do something that is without purpose. And then there's the form "piddly" or "piddling," both of which mean something like "insignificant."

I still don't know what that woman was doing with her fork, though.

It's fun to get past U.S.-centric censors by using "fanny"! lol!

Posted on Feb 29, 2012 4:06:15 PM PST
D. Stom says:
Guess what I found out?!!! Conglomerating really means conspiring, not gathering into a (mass/group)!

>>He shoved a brown paper sack across the bar to Marcus.
>>"Is there a problem here?" Master Z strolled up to the bar.
>>Oh God, they're conglomerating. Nooo.

Posted on Feb 29, 2012 6:14:31 PM PST
Definitions for piddle

To use triflingly; squander: piddle away one's time. v.intr. 1. To spend time aimlessly; diddle. 2. Informal To urinate

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 6:42:46 PM PST
Curmudgeon says:
and doesn't diddle have another definition when used in classic erotica?

Posted on Feb 29, 2012 6:47:12 PM PST
I'm sure you've all heard of this, but I just have to post it anyway. The entire book appears to be written by an illiterate 2 year old. Just read the sample. You WILL laugh out loud.
Moon People

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 6:48:24 PM PST
Curmudgeon says:
Bio reads like fiction
D. M. Courtney is Married and a father of three, a writer and also does work for National Security on the part of foreign policies and war strategies and world economic equality. My hobbies are Scuba diving and fishing. I was raised in Miami Florida at the time of the Muriel flotilla of refugees from Cuba in the early seventies. Also did a tour in the military in the Army, went to Korea for a year. I've always enjoyed Writing about science fiction and I hope you really enjoy my book Moon People.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 6:52:19 PM PST
Winter says:
OK I found the original post I liked on around page 83 of the thread titled Words To Cringe By (

Posted on Sep 14, 2011 7:10:40 AM PDT
Beesocks says:
a cringe-y typo in a kindle sample for A Prince For Jenny
"He took one last look at the precious feces of his children, then went to his downstairs study and poured himself a brandy."

Posted on Feb 29, 2012 7:13:12 PM PST
Melanie says:
Love this thread.....Authors please check out Grammar Girl's 101 Misused Words You'll Never Confuse Again. I keep a copy on my desk at the office.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 7:34:53 PM PST
AmeliaAT says:
Yeah, I'd need a brandy after that, too. Make it double, please!

Posted on Feb 29, 2012 7:35:59 PM PST
R Osterman says:
~Quietly watches the thread, making notes and a small personal challenge to write something where all of these conventions are used (ie your/you're) to purposeful comic effect rather than tragic....~

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 10:07:25 PM PST
K. Salmon says:
I will never forget the first time I saw that in print. It was in the essay of my high-school crush; we (and a couple other kids) were assigned to work together on some project. I saw that, and I just busted out laughing before I could even think or stop myself-- in front of *everyone*. I honestly thought it was some kind of joke. He was not amused. I was *mortified.*
Now I think of him every time I see that. Heh.

Sorry, Mike!

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 10:13:36 PM PST
K. Salmon says:
There's a certain indie publisher whose titles have the piece/peace error so often it's just insane. And it almost always comes up in the form of the heroine-- it's always the heroine-- vowing to give someone a "peace" of her mind.
C'mon. Seriously?

Posted on Feb 29, 2012 10:28:04 PM PST
Lisa in OK says:
What tickles me is when I see something along the lines of a guy getting kicked in the crutch. Or crouch. I mean, violence is not the answer (well, sometimes it is but, anyway . . . ). Kicking anyone anywhere is . . . not nice but kicking in the crutch just makes people lose their balance and fall down and kicking in the crouch is too martial arty to be taken seriously because eventually, you'll probably have to deal with a tiger and then what are you going to do??

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 10:28:06 PM PST
K. Salmon says:
Still seems like a VERY strange way to use that word.
I still feel vaguely... dubious. I'm reminded of this word I talked about in the Words To Cringe By thread: read a book with a mid-love-scene reference to the heroine's "tenderbox." Whaaat? I LOL'd/cringed... but my guy tells me that's actually a thing; people (13-y-o boys, presumably) do say that. Huh, who knew. And yet... I'm still not 100% sure it wasn't a typo. In context, "tinderbox" would totally have made sense.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 29, 2012 11:14:39 PM PST
Mike no doubt went on to devoutly study the The Chicago Manual of Style and the OED and became a renowned editor and publisher. Alas as befits the wronged hero he also became broody, bitter and distrustful about women. Cue opening scene where he mercilessly and publicly points out new (cute and perky) reporter's errors.

Posted on Feb 29, 2012 11:23:13 PM PST
The worst I read was an afterglow scene where the heroine was musing about how incontinent she was in bed. Poor hero.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 1, 2012 12:30:09 AM PST
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe an author would write that. Who lets these people out to prey upon civilized society?

Posted on Mar 1, 2012 2:32:06 AM PST
Neeta says:
Having a grand time laughing reading all these posts. Ignoring the difference between American and Australian spelling (the realize/realise, color/colour etc issue) I really don't want to be noticing 10 their/there, your/you're type mistakes on every page I read.
And the whole ringer/finger thing annoys me too - I'd love a dollar for every time I've seen that one! I mean how hard is to reread what you've written and notice that you've typed an "r" instead of an "f". Ruck me!

I hate the spelling/grammar issues myself, but you know we're probably all showing our ages here.... the modern tech age can take part of the blame - all the abbreviated and phonetic "cell phone" and twitter type language that is around now, mostly used by people younger than me (I'm just on the wrong side of 40) well I just cannot bring myself to type in "cell-speak". I don't mind a bit of abbreviation here and there but the overuse of it and seeing stuff like "C U L8R" just irritates the hell out of me. I actually have a hard time interpreting a lot of it.

Plus the education system can take some blame too - I don't know about elsewhere but here we seem to be just now having resurgence of emphasis on proper spelling being brought back into the school system. I've had friends kids go through school and for years they were taught spelling didn't really matter as long as you got your point across - one of my friends kids went all the way through primary school (grades 1 - 7) and never once sat for a spelling test!! Ridiculous.

Posted on Mar 1, 2012 4:22:59 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 1, 2012 8:03:06 AM PST
R Osterman says:
Is there any way for a self published author in this genre to get Certified as not having made these laughable and potentially distracting errors?

~Edited to remove TOS bendings~
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Discussion in:  Romance forum
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Total posts:  10000
Initial post:  Feb 27, 2012
Latest post:  26 days ago

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