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Hilarious mistakes in (mostly self-published) books


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Posted on Mar 2, 2012 6:25:55 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 2, 2012 6:27:41 PM PST
Ive been looking at one self pubbed author's books and what Ive found doesnt bode well....
Just by the blurbs so far I have found--

"Getting Chloe to the alter though..."

and a different blurb is FULL of typos-

"Helen Miller is in lover with her boss. Cliche, of course. But who wouldn't? Dimitri Thoplolis, one of the wealthiest men in Europe, has everting; charm, looks and power. And when he deomonstrates that he aslo wants Helen, she's ecstatic, happliy falling into a passionate affair with him that burns hotter and brighter than anything either of them have ever experienced. But when he proposes, she has to delcline, despite the fact that her rejection is breaking her heart. Explaining that she can't give him what he really needs, she tries desperately to leave him. Dimitri, on the other hand, hasn't gotten to the top of the corporate world by letting go when he really wants something. He knows that Helen is in love with him and is determined to find out why she's rejecting him and what they could have together. It's up to Dimitri to convince her that Helen is what he needs for his, and her, future happiness."

I think Im gonna pass...

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 6:33:41 PM PST
Hahahahahahaha! That's just sooooo bad!

I think more women should be in lover with their bosses.

Posted on Mar 2, 2012 6:49:08 PM PST
Lisa in OK says:
What's sad is that my brain just glossed over "alter", replaced it with the correct word and continued on to the next sentence in the post. That's why I wouldn't be a good editor. My brain doesn't care what it's reading if it can figure out the point of the sentence despite the errors.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 6:51:16 PM PST
Lol! I didn't even realize I'd skipped over that one, too!

Posted on Mar 2, 2012 7:18:49 PM PST
It's up to Dimitri to convince her that Helen is what he needs for his, and her, future happiness.

How many people are in this relationship? :/

Posted on Mar 2, 2012 7:22:11 PM PST
Jean H says:
I remember hearing something a few years ago about how the brain mentally "fixes" misspelled words so they can be processed. A quick Google search came up with this info from an experiment on the subject, from something called Brain Connection.

"The point of this line of research is that proficient readers read most words (except very long ones) principally through the first and last letters and a rapid recognition of the general shape and content of the entire word. That's why we typically read misspelled words with no trouble."

Note: any misspellings in this post are strictly unintentional, and not part of any experiment. Just ignore the brain waves emanating from your screen. ;-p

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 7:48:08 PM PST
So far? I'm seeing five, but there could be a few more behind the alter.

Posted on Mar 2, 2012 7:53:47 PM PST
Pyrdog says:
My favorite one lately was where the h told the H that the world did not "evolve" around him and if he thought so they should stop(the relationship) now.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 7:54:15 PM PST
I've seen research where they show words with all the vowels taken out and you can still read it. There are other things like that. It's fascinating.

When I learned to proofread I learned that you're supposed to do it from the bottom up so you are reading sentences out of context.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 7:55:20 PM PST
Curmudgeon says:
Maybe the author was referring to the "alter ego?"

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 7:55:38 PM PST
Was the H an amoeba?

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 7:55:51 PM PST
Lol!!!!

Posted on Mar 2, 2012 8:02:12 PM PST
GramLocasta says:
From the book I'm currently reading, "He had been pleasantly surprised when she'd pulled him in for another kiss and knew that when he finally got her into bed she would wonton.  He couldn't wait to experience that with her." I actually thought this was a name of a s*x position that I hadn't heard before. Then several pages later, "She didn't realize until last night how wonton she could be and she loved this side of herself." Oh - wanton. lol!

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 8:05:18 PM PST
ambrosia says:
G'ma: Maybe the author was referring to how nimble and flexible the h could be in bed -- she could twist herself into the shape of a chinese wonton (those soup dumplings that are folded into a complex shape).

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 8:21:00 PM PST
Mmm, I love fried wontons - but have never aspired to be one. :P

I think one of the biggest issues with many of these purveyors of e-books (I refuse to call some of them writers) is not just that they lack spell check (or the courtesy and professionalism to use it) but that they don't read enough. They lack vocabulary and what they think they know is often just what they've heard (often mispronounced or misused) and not a word they've actually seen and understood in full context Poor spelling is leaving out an s in embarrass or substituting an e for an a in separate and a certain amount of typos can happen to anyone (though it takes true incompetence to publish a blurb like the one above). Writing desha voo or wonton on the other hand comes from using words one has never seen or fully comprehended.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 8:29:42 PM PST
"I love fried wontons - but have never aspired to be one."

Can I steal this? There are so many places I would love to post it! ;)

I think you have nailed it about the misuse of words. And what troubles me is that I'm afraid it's going to increase to the point where we literally won't be able to read a book because there won't be enough words spelled/used correctly to make any sense.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 11:12:53 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 2, 2012 11:14:51 PM PST
Lisa in OK says:
>So far? I'm seeing five<

Ok, that was just messed up. I read Anna's comment about "five" directly after reading Jean H's comment "Note: any misspellings in this post are strictly unintentional, and not part of any experiment. Just ignore the brain waves emanating from your screen."

So I spent a considerable number of seconds rereading Jean's post looking for misspellings.

Well played, Anna . . .

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 2, 2012 11:39:32 PM PST
I so wish I could take credit for planning it that way.

Posted on Mar 3, 2012 12:05:58 AM PST
Neeta says:
A paragraph that I read this morning is still sticking in my mind.... In just a couple of sentences we had a heroine "standing resolude" instead of resolute and later her being a "prickly, obstinant woman", obstinate perhaps?

I agree with Poster With No Name on the misuse/mispronouncing of words too, it's like the author heard something somewhere that sounded good and wanted to use it themselves, but couldn't remember it exactly or wasn't quite clear on the exact meaning and/or spelling of it. Ooh, and that brings another one instantly to mind - the quite/quiet thing, another I'd love to have a dollar for every time I've seen the wrong one used.

Posted on Mar 3, 2012 12:13:23 AM PST
Slightly off topic, but still funny... Years ago in the UK we had a really low-budget soap opera called 'Crossroads.' One sensitive scene between two characters had the script instruction:
'... Amy is hoovering outside...'
Come the shoot no one could hear a word that was being said over the sound of the vacuum cleaner. The writer was summoned and explained it was a typo - should have read 'hovering outside...'

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 3, 2012 12:20:45 AM PST
Lol!!!!!!

Posted on Mar 3, 2012 12:34:17 AM PST
Marissa G says:
Past/passed is another common error I see.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 3, 2012 1:03:02 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 3, 2012 1:20:08 AM PST
Hi Spectator51,
I love this thread! I just wanted to point out "vice" is UK spelling, and the same applies to defence, licence, offence etc.....Lots of these around, so don't "ring a peel" over spelling differences....:-D

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 3, 2012 1:17:17 AM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
^^^^
That. In Australia and other English-speaking countries too.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 3, 2012 1:32:01 AM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
"you must in daylight saving zone"

Indeed I am!
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Discussion in:  Romance forum
Participants:  398
Total posts:  7865
Initial post:  Feb 27, 2012
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