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Self-Esteem


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Initial post: Aug 6, 2008 8:11:04 AM PDT
Improving your self-image and any skill, does require time and practice. Having a good self-esteem is knowing and believing in yourself and taking the action to learn about having a positive attitude toward yourself. There are many ways to help young children, young teens and even adults to think positively (but realisticly). It would be wonderful if group members could list a few positive thought strategies that have worked for them! Thanks a million!
Michelle Rossi
Author of All About Me Workbook
Contributing Author in Chicken Soup for the Soul

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 7, 2008 8:26:25 PM PDT
I believe that the most powerfully positive book in the universe is the Bible. When I am down I repeat a verse (not taken out of context but in its correct contextual meaning) and meditate upon it and before long I gain strength to come out of that place of no hope and negativity.

This is my positive thought strategy. Try it, it's so simple it can't hurt to try.

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 8, 2008 2:23:43 PM PDT
Great strategy.. Thanks for sharing!

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 8, 2008 3:24:15 PM PDT
Just Me says:
It's such a broad topic that answers I think have to be specific to the area of life.

I actually think self-esteem building exercises can be some of the most damaging things, especially when applied in the public school system. We had workbooks and feel-good exercises, and it was just very clear that they were efforts to improve our self-esteem. But kids see through that sort of thing. You either have to catch it earlier (this was third grade) or praise them for real things. If they know you're doing it to make them feel good, not because you actually see them as a special person, it won't work!

The key is to find out what THEY value and find challenge in and support them in that. I strongly believe there has to be challenge to develop pride in something done, and if praise is doled out without understanding if the child is praised can be damaging. This means a lot of individual attention, NOT comparing how the student does to a classmate (thinking here of gifted children).

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 8, 2008 5:03:13 PM PDT
This is valuable insight. I can not agree more that the key is to find out what they value and what they find challenging and support them in that! If fact, I've written a workbook, All About Me and this is exactly what this workbook is all about. Building self-esteem takes time and practice. Developing good self-esteem involves encouraging a positve (but realistic) attitude toward yourself and the world around you.

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 14, 2008 1:55:04 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Aug 23, 2008 11:24:52 AM PDT
Great self-esteem exercise is to use the words I AM before something you wish to be or have. For example: I AM happy. Saying it 3 times clears all three levels of ourselves. (Our conscious, super conscious and subconscious levels) I call it "prayer work" because we are directly calling upon the God within us to make it so. Anyway, try it, it works!

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 14, 2008 12:16:02 PM PDT
Looking in the mirror and repeatedly saying kind, compassionate things to myself. Looking into my own eyes and looking beyond messy hair, a pimple, my big nose and looking so intensely into my eyes that I see not a human looking back at me, but the One Spirit that created all out of Itself.

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 22, 2008 5:20:35 PM PDT
Yes, this is excellent advice. It works too! Everyone is special. Be you!

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 18, 2009 2:46:52 PM PDT
hello my to daughters 9 and 13 son 11 have adhd and they all have low self esteem but ive build their self esteem over the years and my eldest has achived a very high level of self esteem my 2 youngest are still having problems so any suggestions would be greatful and as for myself their mother i had very low self esteem but ive worked on it my reading information and listening to all the good points people say about myself and my family i try not to impose my low self esteem on my children but sometimes its very hard any suggestions would be appreciated and i will purchase your handbook thankyou

Posted on Mar 18, 2009 4:17:38 PM PDT
I have my students create projects that help them retain the information being taught in the All About Me Workbook. To enhance positive thinking ( Michael's has the cutest wooden boxes, many shapes and sizes) we paint the box (there are picture frame boxes too) and place many positive words inside (made from cardboard stock) the children decorate the word cards as well. Each day, they pick a word from their box and think about how it relates to them throughout the entire day. This helps them to store positive thoughts in their subconscious mind. It really works. They love it too. It's a wonderful thing for a parent and child to create together! Michelle

Posted on Mar 18, 2009 5:29:51 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 18, 2009 5:39:15 PM PDT
Hi Phillip,

Developing self-esteem requires quite a work for the person who is currently experiencing such. The people surrounding this person could play an important role to enhance a higher level of esteem, most particularly if they are aware of this experience. Hence, both the inner and outer forces of a human being can create a better understanding of one's self.

In order to achieve a better regard for one's self, one has to look at himself or herself as somebody who is good at something. For example, engaging in an intellectual or physical activity, like playing games, sports, or any other fun exercises (may be singing or dancing, poem recital etc.) A positive interaction could occur while doing the activity. At that point, sincere praises or compliments may be uttered depending on the circumstance.

Just remember that there might be a need for some series of events in order to achieve a greater impact. If one continues to receive good remarks or responses, he or she intends to develop that confidence in himself or herself. They will then start to appreciate the beauty and goodness in that experience. It must form some kind of a habit. In other words, a usual occurrence must take place, not just accidental.

So I think it is best to find out what they enjoy doing best and start looking at their strengths, instead of where they are weak at. My book, "You are Privileged, 12 Success Principles to Uncover Your Innermost Potential" discusses some points on this topic.

Hopefully, this helps.

Sheila Atienza,
Author of "YOU ARE PRIVILEGED, 12 Success Principles to Uncover Your Innermost Potential"

Posted on Mar 18, 2009 7:02:44 PM PDT
Hi Sheila,

Nice advice! I agree about one finding their strengths through their special talents, or through physical activities they enjoy. All About Me helps one discover this in the first chapter. Very important. Great advice. Congratulations on your book.

Posted on Mar 18, 2009 7:37:59 PM PDT
Newman says:
I heard on radio someone speaking about Psalm 23.
It has everything we need to build self esteem.
It's like plugging in to the source of life and finding out who we are.

I agree with....Zainer Hartfield's post saying he believed the Bible to be the most positive book in the universe.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 19, 2009 11:50:53 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 19, 2009 11:55:51 AM PDT
thankyou for this great suggestion ill try it straight away

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 19, 2009 11:54:56 AM PDT
thankyou so much for the inspiration i will purchase your book

Posted on Mar 19, 2009 12:57:27 PM PDT
To Phillip, Thanks that you appreciate some thoughts posted on this forum.

To Michelle, thanks that you initiated this topic, and responses are helpful.

To everyone else, all your ideas are counted. There are just simply different ways where we can get inspiration from, to enhance our healthy being.

More power,
Sheila Atienza
Author, "You are Privileged, 12 Success Principles to Uncover Your Innermost Potential"

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 20, 2009 7:56:17 AM PDT
cyphi says:
I think one of the most important aspects of improving self-esteem is to be conscious of the things that we actually choose to surround ourselves. The decisions that we make should be conscious ones. When they're not conscious or are unrealistic we often find ourselves in situations where we are unhappy, unfulfilled and unmotivated. We must be aware of our influences (family, friends, etc.) and our environment and the effects they have on us. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own thoughts and deeds. We have to be willing to step out of our comfort zones in order to experience different aspects of ourselves that fuel our growth. Bottom line, surround yourself with good people and positive flow whenever possible.

Posted on Mar 20, 2009 8:28:02 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 20, 2009 8:32:20 AM PDT
Newman says:
Finding oneself is so important.
Getting answers to questions like ..Who am I and what is my purpose here on earth?

The Bible is like no other book when it comes to people and families living in a sometimes hostile world.
I found the best self-confidence builder was to put my confidence in God.

It is God's promise in the Bible, that He will do it. [give us comfort, "perfect" peace and joy]
He is faithful. His love is from everlasting to everlasting.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 2, 2009 8:40:02 AM PDT
K. Eldridge says:
It is important to remember that not everyone believes as you do. Some believe very differently, some don't believe the bible to be Gods word, some don't believe in God at all. If it works for you, great. We need to do for ourselves not expect
God to do it for us. Changing the way I perceive things has made a big difference in my self esteemand my life. Saying and then truly believing, "I AM Happy" etc. Not a very good explanation but it is what I have done and continue to do. I perceive all things in a positive manner.

Posted on Apr 2, 2009 11:53:07 AM PDT
J. Wenneberg says:
There's a fabulous new author, Brad C. Wenneberg, who's book on success and leadership I just read, 'Unleash Your Inner Warrior', and he is definitely the expert on how one can turn their life around and succeed

He taught me how to greatly improve my live - he overcame unemployment, alcoholism, drug addiction, and attempted suicide to become a successful, healthy, and happy family-man, business leader, and mentor. When you read this book, you'll learn practical ways to get out of your rut, turn around your life, and live a happy, healthy, successful life.

His leadership is tried and true - according to information about him, he owns and operates the largest martial arts studio on the west coast, helping thousands of people improve their lives. In addition, he's been sober for 25 years and happily married for 35. The book is a very easy read, told through the exciting real-life experiences and struggles that he lived.

I highly recommend 'Unleash Your Inner Warrior' to improve your leadership skills and overall happiness and success in your life!

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 20, 2009 1:58:24 PM PDT
What we really need to be teaching kids is that the way they feel about anything, including themselves, depends on a host of cognitive choices that we each have to make, that we alone can make. For example, how we look at things, what meaning we attach to what happens, what we focus on, what we compare things to, what we expect of ourselves, others and life in the first place, and how much importance we attach to what does happen. We want children (and adults) to have an internal locus of control. We don't want the way they choose to feel about themselves (and it is a choice, because they have all those cognitive choices to make, and the way they do determines how they feel) to be overly dependent on what they do or don't do, or what others say or do. We basically want to teach them to have what is called USA or Unconditional Self-Acceptance rather than try to boost their self-esteem by external means. You can't do that because they alone make those choices. It's all explained in the book "It's just an event - It's your choice how you want to feel". So basically, you teach children that their thoughts cause their feelings about themselves or anything else and not the events of their lives. And it's their choice how they want to look at things, and therefore their choice how they want to feel.It's Just an Event-It's Your Choice How You Want to Feel: The ABC System of Cognitive, Emotional and Behavioral Self-Management and Self-Improvement

Posted on Oct 27, 2010 9:21:46 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Oct 27, 2010 9:21:56 PM PDT]

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 7, 2011 6:39:51 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 7, 2011 6:52:52 AM PST
L. says:
Hi Michelle, I'm the author of the book series "What every pre-teen and teenage girls should know" my books were created to empower, inspire, and uplift adolescent females. to sum up my books in a nut shell they are designed to help adolescent females (adult females can benefit from these books too) realize how special they are, how valuable they are, and how their bodies are rare and precious jewels as well as other tips and tools to help them while they experience life. My books help them recognize the beauty in them as well as give them tips on enhancing their natural beauty. what I wanted to do with this book series is show females that they are unique and wonderfully made and that's what makes them beautiful and because of that they should embrass and love everything about themself. I believe once we encourage and uplift our beautiful young females they will inturn encourage and uplift the next generations of beautiful young females.
The books in my series are
*Dating
*Straight Talk
*Hygiene & Appearance
*Sex & STD's
*Bit Of Advice
*The Safety Book.
If you will like to read the synopsis of my books just type in my name "Lora McDuffie" you can find my books @
http://www.amazon.com
www.barnesandnoble.com
www.publishamerica.com
www.borders.com
If you have any suggestion of other topic I should write about please feel free to let me know.

Posted on Jan 12, 2011 9:42:42 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 13, 2011 10:46:50 PM PST
The Still, Soft Voice. New Frontier of Self. Breaking Through to the Inner Core of Consciousness,

There is self-esteem, based on ego, which by its nature inevitably leads to emotional cannabalizing of self and others. Then, by contrast, there is Self-esteem ~ which is a whole 'nother thing. That type of Self-esteem is based on esteeming the Inner Core, or Essence rather than trying to build up the little ego self. Thus, self-esteem is a get-nowhere concept, my opinion. However, Self-esteem can get you somewhere.

If you connect with the Still Soft Voice, please let me know how it goes.
~Dr.Cliff

Posted on Jan 23, 2011 5:43:17 PM PST
Hello, I am the author of Spiritual Stepping Stones.
All souls are of equal value, once this is truly understood then any sense of low self-esteem naturally goes away. We all have divinity at our core. Once you know this, then how can you have a sense of low self-esteem? If you are interested and open minded about spirituality, and interested in growing spiritually, then check out this book.
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Discussion in:  Self-help forum
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Total posts:  67
Initial post:  Aug 6, 2008
Latest post:  Mar 17, 2013

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