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I'm gay, but I HATE gays. Please help!


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Showing 51-75 of 109 posts in this discussion
Posted on Jan 6, 2011 4:59:01 AM PST
Bug DeLug says:
YOU CLOSE MINDED HOMOPHOBE. You don't know how hard it is for us gays... even though I'm straight.

Posted on Jan 5, 2011 2:25:30 PM PST
K. Mays says:
How could you possibly "wake up one day and realize you're gay?" Stop being a troll.

Posted on Nov 19, 2010 6:01:18 AM PST
noray says:
Being sexually attracted to the the same sex is not abnormal. What is important is that you accept your feelings & display honesty in your current situation. I agree with those who have suggested counseling. To prevent pain both to yourself & to your wife, is a high priority. I hope you can find the help you need & be at peace. Remember that you are in a comitted relationship ( marriage) & thus your feelings involve your wife too....there is nothing wrong with loyalty & honesty. Yes, in the end you must live the life that only you can choose....& I wish you well. Sex is more than a bodily sensation- it is a sharing of your whole being, an exchange of energy. It involves mind, & spirit as well as the body- so it influences your whole life.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2010 4:52:19 AM PST
There is a wonderful practice called Affirmations, but it's in Columbus, Ohio. http://www.affirmationstherapy.com/ If you get in touch with them, you may be directed to a similar practice. Sexual orientation is not a choice - I did not choose to be straight, I just am. Read Roughgarden's EVOLUTION'S RAINBOW. She names five - five - different orientations. Evolution's Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People

Since I can't highlight these addresses... well, I do wish you find help and not from any fundamentalist religion that would stone you if it could. If you detect I'm angry - it's more that I'm frustrated and feel very bad for anyone who cannot come to love him- or herself.

Posted on Nov 19, 2010 2:13:48 AM PST
J. Turner says:
I think therapy might help, not necessarily with a 'religious' counsellor. Unless you feel that it's necessary. You need to like yourself first, regardless of what choices you make.

Posted on Nov 13, 2010 7:35:20 PM PST
I know that you two mean well, but this is not helpful. "It's all good," we just don't understand it.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 13, 2010 7:04:58 PM PST
"If you are married and you are even just looking on someone else, man or woman, with lust, then you are commiting adultery in your mind."....

...no,that means you re human.....

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 13, 2010 6:56:39 PM PST
P. Graves says:
If you are married and you are even just looking on someone else, man or woman, with lust, then you are commiting adultery in your mind. That is a violation of one of God's commandments. I believe that you love your wife and that you have a lot of family stress right now that you don'e know what to do with. God doesn't want you to pursue this gay lifestyle. he wants you to honor your marriage. That is in the Bible. pray. Talk to Jesus. Ask his forgiveness for even just looking at other men that way. He died for all of our sins. He wants to forgive you and wipe that slate clean. He wants to give you a fresh start with your wife. You have to ask Him for His forgiveness though. Get a bible and read the Gospel of John. It will give you strength. God bless you. You are in my prayers. By the way, I was a Lesbian before I gave my life to Christ. I have no desire for women anymore. It does happen. God can change your heart if you will let Him in.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 13, 2010 6:56:17 PM PST
P. Graves says:
If you are married and you are even just looking on someone else, man or woman, with lust, then you are commiting adultery in your mind. That is a violation of one of God's commandments. I believe that you love your wife and that you have a lot of family stress right now that you don'e know what to do with. God doesn't want you to pursue this gay lifestyle. he wants you to honor your marriage. That is in the Bible. pray. Talk to Jesus. Ask his forgiveness for even just looking at other men that way. He died for all of our sins. He wants to forgive you and wipe that slate clean. He wants to give you a fresh start with your wife. You have to ask Him for His forgiveness though. Get a bible and read the Gospel of John. It will give you strength. God bless you. You are in my prayers. By the way, I was a Lesbian before I gave my life to Christ. I have no desire for women anymore. It does happen. God can change your heart if you will let Him in.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 13, 2010 3:25:15 PM PST
The Old Testament was written in Hebrew, Matthew in Aramaic and the rest of the New Testament in Greek. I wouldn't trust most of "this sort of thing" to make my life filled with meaning and loving and pleasure and thankfulness and grace.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 13, 2010 1:51:07 PM PST
spookiewon says:
Get back to me on that when you have read the bible in the original Aramaic and Greek. It says no such thing.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 13, 2010 1:47:18 PM PST
spookiewon says:
I don't know who told you, but back in the 1960's Alfred Kinsey's studies proved that sexual orientation is a continuum, not an absolute.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 2, 2010 8:52:32 AM PDT
Mrs. Otey says:
Beware of "Christian Counselors" who believe homosexuality is an illness that needs to be cured. Their counseling will only inflict more self-hate and confusion.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 1, 2010 3:40:02 PM PDT
Susan Mather says:
The choice is this: Either be who you are or get ready faking your whole life just for the sake of people who are narrow and judgmental. Do you want to be real or to be false? Once you make that decision (and for some people, it's not a choice to be False . . .), then you'll learn to let go of the narrow-minded judgments of people who are nothing about love and everything about control. Follow your heart and be careful who you divulge this info to at the beginning, because there are a lot of people who don't care how much they hurt you, as long as they can be in control. Don't worry about other's 'approval' so much. Instead, learn to live well. Know thyself. To thine own self be true. It's all about the art of living well.

Posted on Nov 1, 2010 1:43:50 PM PDT
Hate is a very strong emotion. For myself, I have a very strong emotion about gays - a knee-jerk reaction - I'm a fag-hag and I don't care who knows it. If you're so inclined, read about gays in history and why we need them. Are gays the only humans who can produce great marvels of art and literature? No! That said, I know most of my gay friends through opera and showing cats.<G> My enjoyment is immediate and while there certainly are gays who do not attrack me, most do. I find them generous, terribly amusing (often), loving, considerate... even the self-absorbed ones I enjoy. I wish you lived nearby so we could have something more personal and of value to you - and me, as it happens.

Just to be clear, I am the mother of seven, grandmother of nineteen and great grandmmother to six... so I'm not brand new. I don't hang out with bigots - I'm an anti-bigot bigot which is, of course, almost as deadly as being a card carrying bigot, if you see what I mean.

And I just happened on this thread, but it certainly caught my attention.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 31, 2010 8:11:23 PM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Nov 1, 2010 3:31:00 AM PDT]

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 28, 2010 1:49:21 PM PDT
Daniel Foley says:
I think you're kidding but if not get over it.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 28, 2010 1:43:00 AM PDT
Bug DeLug says:
Thanks to everyone for their help. There have been a few developments since my initial post.
First off- I AM gay!!! I met a man and we go out together for lunch etc. He is not gay and we have never held hands or done kisses, etc. but I fancy him rotten and want to have the gay sex with him, though I never would as I am married with kids and am straight.
Thanks to everyone for their help. A lot of gays on here I see. This would have made me sick at one point, but the biggest development is that I NO LONGER HATE GAYLORDS! I actually quite like them- in a non-sexual way. As long a they keep their hands to themselves I'm alright- even if they are gays!!!
Thanks again- especially to the gays on here.

Posted on Oct 27, 2010 9:07:34 PM PDT
MrImmoli says:
" Also, I still find myself strongly attracted to the opposite sex, "

In case no one else already pointed this out....you are probably bi-sexual or just having some gay fantasies and will get over them.

Posted on Sep 13, 2010 5:21:01 PM PDT
T.M. says:
Read " I AM WHO I AM" by Kevin Byrne. Its on Kindle.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 12, 2010 2:15:34 AM PDT
BusyWitch says:
hah hah so true

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 12, 2010 12:00:08 AM PDT
K. Ward, that is excellent advice.

Posted on Sep 8, 2010 11:42:53 AM PDT
Sam says:
Just shove random objects up where the sun don't shine while watching gay porn. I'm afraid you're just going to have to stay in the closet at this point. Otherwise, you will hurt 5 people. You're only 1 person. Are you more important than 5 people? Nope, don't think so. You've made your bed, now have heterosexual sex with your wife in it.

Posted on Sep 8, 2010 11:11:14 AM PDT
[Deleted by the author on Sep 8, 2010 11:15:44 AM PDT]

Posted on Sep 8, 2010 9:51:58 AM PDT
Peridot says:
The original poster appears to be a classic type of troll. They like to draw people in with a seemingly reasonable 'I have a problem, can you help me?' question. Reading his original post and looking at the language he uses, 'gaylord' to refer to homosexuals, reinforces this. These misguided individuals base their self esteem upon the number of responses they receive. Sometimes they just like inciting and fomenting disagreement. They're usually very young males.

Responders who get into heated arguments delight trolls. Sometimes they're in competition with other trolls on the same board. I suspect this thread may be in competition with the 'I'm a lesbian but I beleive (sic) in God what should I do?' thread.

In spite of how it began there's valid material of interest on both threads.

Just FYI.
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Discussion in:  Self-help forum
Participants:  71
Total posts:  109
Initial post:  Jul 19, 2010
Latest post:  Jul 6, 2012

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