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Is there a Key to Happiness?

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Showing 101-125 of 1000 posts in this discussion
In reply to an earlier post on Dec 28, 2009 10:31:50 AM PST
Hi Bob Fake Name,
I do believe there is a key, several keys actually, to happiness and none of them have to do with psycho-babble or cutesey fakeness. The real keys lie in not postponing your own goals and dreams in order to make everyone else happy first. I interviewed over 100 people for my book and every single one of them was waiting for happiness to come at some future date when "my kids are happy, when my significent other is more loving, when I'm free to do what I want, etc., etc.," the list goes on and on. Not one was doing what they really wanted to do in their own lives.
Michelle Obama said it best when she said that we need to make ourselves happy first before we even attempt to make others happy.
Cute puppies, flowers, and even mind-blowing sex are all wonderful but they don't make you happy. Living life on your own terms does.
Kristen Houghton, author
And THEN I'll Be Happy!: Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 28, 2009 3:59:32 PM PST
Dadwrites says:
Letting go.

I went from unhappy to happy and wrote a book about it, with all kinds of life lessons picked up along the way. But if I had to boil it down in terms of the KEY, it's letting go. Let go of the painful memories, the nurtured pain, the resentment, the failure that keeps us from trying again.

The KEY isn't the only thing between a person and happiness, but it's the single thing that makes it possible--or not.

Michael Rosenbaum
Your Name Here Guide to LifeYour Name Here Guide to Life: The book you'd have written, if only you had the time.

Posted on Jan 3, 2010 12:05:41 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 31, 2010 7:23:02 PM PDT
Spinoza says:
A Buddhist would say, "There is no happiness, there is no key. You are deluded. Now go wash your bowl!"

Posted on Jan 3, 2010 7:28:25 PM PST
I've found that the key to happiness is to show up for your inner journey one day at a time. When you commit to activating your inner guide a.k.a your ~ing you will KNOW that the Universe has your back. No joke! I can testify to this. Daily prayer and meditation will get you there. You may not see major change overnight but with a shift in perception you can create a miracle.

Posted on Jan 4, 2010 10:40:58 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 4, 2010 10:46:27 AM PST
Happiness is a choice. It is the decision to see beyond what would appear to be real and to know yourself as completely free.

You need do nothing to be happy, for that is your natural state. I created you to be happy and full of joy.

You see dear child, happiness does not rest in any external event, but in the recognition of your true self. Happiness is your natural state for you were created to be joyful.

The key to happiness is simply this; choose to be happy, peaceful and full of joy, for happiness is a decision and not a destination.

Do not look to the events of your world or the approval of others as a catalyst to be happy, but instead look inward joining with me in celebration of your perfection.

excerpts from "The God Manifesto"
The God Manifesto is nothing short of a blueprint for happiness.

Posted on Jan 5, 2010 5:52:35 PM PST
Bill Durham says:
Happiness comes down to personal choice. You simply choose to be happy. There are many people that actually thrive on unhappiness and can't stand it when others are happy. You must ignore these people as best you can. Only you can give yourself happiness. It's a gift that you can give to yourself everyday. Don't expect happiness to come from others, you'll waste your entire life waiting.

Be careful and watch how you treat every living soul.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 7, 2010 12:38:53 PM PST
J. Evans says:
Celtic Pathways by Jason Evans is a groundbreaking new guided meditation recorded over an original celtic soundscape. Beautiful!
Celtic Pathways: An Inspirational Guided Meditation. What Am I Searching For? by Jason Evans

Posted on Mar 18, 2010 8:31:06 PM PDT
Astrocat says:
Happiness is a choice. We can choose to think negative thoughts, indulge negative emotions, or we can choose to recognize that we are all one in essence and in reality, we can choose to breathe in love and joy and delight in every opportunity. The beauty of Life, the gift of Being, isn't that enough?

Posted on Mar 27, 2010 10:08:51 AM PDT
[Deleted by Amazon on Mar 27, 2010 12:59:59 PM PDT]

Posted on Mar 31, 2010 7:04:54 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 31, 2010 7:05:46 PM PDT
The key to happiness? That's an easy one.

Always act in the way which maximizes your long-term self-interest. That's all you need to do. If it sounds selfish, it's only because you haven't thought about what it really means.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 7:15:14 PM PDT
Spinoza says:
Thank you, M. A. Jenkins. That is probably the most accurate and pithy advice on being happy I have ever heard, and I agree completely, and always try to follow.

I think most people believe, for some reason I can't fathom, that acting selfishly and in one's own long-term best interest is somehow incompatible with helping others to live full lives and be happy. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Read Ayn Rand, ladies and gentlemen. ;-)

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 7:37:54 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Mar 31, 2010 7:39:49 PM PDT
@ Marc

Thank you for the compliment. It's funny, though - I mostly disdain Ayn Rand's philosophy.

Let me give an example: for the most part, I am a bleeding heart liberal. Socially, economically, you name it. But here's the thing that separates me from most of my liberal brethren: while I might support legislation that specifically redistributes wealth, I don't do it "because it's good for the country." I do it because it makes me happy. That's it.

I get tired of both sides claiming that the other will "ruin the country."

In short, just live/vote/act your conscience. Do what is in your self-interest (that need not be purely a monetary self-interest, although money is certainly important). The world will take care of itself.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 7:40:27 PM PDT
Astrocat says:
I'm delighted to hear that others "disdain" Ayn Rand's philosophy, as well.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 7:54:53 PM PDT
stevign says:

re: "I don't do it "because it's good for the country." I do it because it makes me happy. "

LOLOLOL.....((APPLAUSE)).....FINALLY! I just want the rich guy's money because he has more than me and screw being fair. LOLOL..... I think it's appalling but at least you're honest MAJ.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 8:21:57 PM PDT
Astrocat says:
What you propose, Jenkins, is what leads inevitably to depression and sadness, because self-interest is most definitely going the wrong way on the road to happiness.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 8:47:46 PM PDT
When we commit an act towards an other in love it comes back to us, so true altruism isn't a truism. We are all One, what we do to other we do to our self, and around again. Happiness, a key? An organized Consciousness, an evolving Consciousness when you are aware of what helps the evolution of the Consciousness System.My Big TOE - The Complete Trilogy
Bette S Baysinger

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 8:48:02 PM PDT
Spinoza says:
No problem, M. A. - Many people disdain Rand, and for various reasons. I think, however , when you take the philosophy of egoism to its extreme, what you get is Rand.

So Rand "out-selfishes" the selfish - and I think that's the sticking point for many - they just aren't prepared to go that far.

But I agree with you - and various social schemes like socialized medicine, etc., can be argued as being in line with self-interest. It's in my interest that everyone is healthy and has access to affordable, decent healthcare.

So perhaps we need to separate "happiness" from self-interest. The two are not identical, and what is in my long-term self-interest may not, in fact, make me happy now, or even in the future.

Happiness is not self-interest. Self-interest is not happiness.

But the world will not necessarily take care of itself, even if everyone takes care of themselves, so there is room, within a Randian universe, IMHO, for self-interest that encompasses more than just the personal.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 31, 2010 9:23:40 PM PDT
April Capil says:
I think the key to happiness is two-fold: perspective and consciousness. Being conscious - of what you ARE and AREN'T paying attention to, and recognizing that your perspective (life is "good," life is "bad") is a direct result of this awareness, is the KEY to understanding where your "happiness" comes from. The same event, the same circumstances, can make one person happy and another sad, depending on their perspective. Their perspective depends on what they are conscious of, what they choose to pay attention to or not pay attention to. One man's pink slip is another man's freedom. It just depends on the story you tell yourself.

More (of course) in my book: Recipe For Lemonade: What To Do When Life Gives You Lemons

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 1, 2010 8:38:25 AM PDT
I agree, people often get confused about taking care of their own needs with feeling selfish. As a trained counselor and current life coach I see this issue in most of my clients. Please check out our book Charge Up Your Life which offers the 6 tools and practices to live one's best life and the 6 obstacles that keep people stuck. The first chapter C-Compliment and Nurture deals specifically with giving yourself what you need.

Posted on Apr 1, 2010 12:48:58 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 1, 2010 12:50:18 PM PDT
Hi Bob
re: "NO interest or desire for any particular outcome.... "

I think it works better with:

"No overwhelming attachment for a particular outcome."


Posted on Apr 1, 2010 2:57:23 PM PDT
The Other Kind of Smart: Simple Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence for Greater Personal Effectiveness and Success

The key to happiness is to be in control of one's destiny. Much easier said than done...there are many...individuals, organizations, and governments that would be more than happy to take charge of our lives. Many people, afraid of the responsibility, effort and courage that it requires to live one's own life are more than happy to trade away their freedom for someone else to take over that responsibility.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 1, 2010 6:52:52 PM PDT
I'm usually happiest when I am fully present with what is rather than in my head. For example, when I visit family over the holiday weekend, I will enjoy it most when I stay present with them in the moment: enjoy listening to the conversaton, savor the food, notice the smells, and embrace each and every moment. I hope you each will enjoy your holiday with joy and happiness!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 1, 2010 7:27:42 PM PDT
Astrocat says:
I agree that being fully present with family (or whatever fulfills one) is one way to immediate happiness. And that feeling resides in us for a long time and strengthens our ties. Thanks, C. Leach.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 2, 2010 7:30:12 AM PDT
Randy Kadish says:
Gratitude. Without it, I'll never be happy.


In reply to an earlier post on Apr 2, 2010 2:10:11 PM PDT
Being fully present is addressed in Chapter H (Here and Now) of our book CHARGE Up Your Life. Please become a fan at
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Discussion in:  Self-help forum
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Initial post:  Sep 18, 2009
Latest post:  Jun 18, 2015

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