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The Real Secret about Soul Mates


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Initial post: Aug 15, 2008 9:53:23 AM PDT
Avid Reader says:
Doing aura readings for clients, especially when I facilitate cutting cords of attachment, a client will sometimes want me to comment on a love relationship.

"Is he The One?" or "Why did I fall for him, anyway? Whatever deluded me into thinking that he was my soul mate."
Here's what the hype vendors won't tell you:

*There is more than one model on earth for human happiness and evolution.
The number of people who are meant to evolve through the fabled "soul mate relationship" is really quite small.
*And for good reason.

THE MYTH

You see him or her and time stops. A clap of thunder, a bolt of electricity, a shivery feeling of familiarity deep in your belly or some other beloved body part. Destiny sounds, loudly, as if pounding on the front door.

I hear stories like this sometimes. Usually, alas, those stories lack happy endings.

According to myth, big drama during the attaction phase signals perfection. Sure, sometimes this happens. And sometimes the relationship actually seems to fit that "soul mate" stereotype. But next time you hear someone proclaim that love at first sight is the one and only way to be happy, consider the source.

What is that person trying to sell?
*Is it clothing or grooming products so you'll look picture perfect when you meet?
*Is it dating services or psychic readings or some other way to help you finish your dawdling, hurry up already, and find The One?
*Maybe it's a movie. We humans do love myths and drama.
*Could be a drunken reverie.
*Perhaps you're hearing fantasy talk from someone who doesn't take much responsibility for his/her life.
*Or it could even be a walking nightmare, nicely dressed.

That last example happened to an Energy Spirituality client I worked with yesterday.

"Claudia" saw "Jim" across a crowded room and, soon as their eyes met, they rode a wave of electricity as unmistakable as the wave pool in an amusement park. Claudia is a super-evolved, loving, generous and successful professional healer. Jim, it turned out, had a huge need to pull energy out of Claudia and, later, try to take her for every cent she was worth.

Sometimes it works out more nicely but, again, consider the reporting source. On my last plane trip from Tokyo (the short return voyage, merely 11 hours, not 14), my seat mate was "Polly."

Soon into our flight, and the first of her many glasses of wine, Polly told me about her four-year relationship with her soul mate. He died young. Before then, it was perfect:

ALL WE DID WAS GIGGLE AND HAVE SEX.

Think about that for a minute. So beautiful in a way! And so very Polly! Based on five hours straight of her story telling, I'd describe her as a simple woman, a social butterfly, and absolutely adorable as such. To her, nothing matters more than having a good time.

But I have to tell you, in an altogether different tone of voice, this would have been a searing indictment.

ALL WE DID WAS GIGGLE AND HAVE SEX.

Frankly, for some of you Amazonians (myself included), this would be a marriage from Hell. So fun, at first, all that giggling and having sex. By Day 8, it's starting to turn boring. And such a relationship would turn positively soul-stifling for the rest of the horrid mistake.

What about giving back to the community and the world? Making beautiful music together in a way that doesn't involve physical touching? Any chance we might share some learning? Or personal growth? How about a spiritual path or some values? What about traveling or creativity or learning a sport that could be played with clothes on?

BEYOND COMPULSION

Have you guessed the secret yet, a real life, Earth School alternative to having mating decisions made for you, courtesy of an obvious soul mate?

Here's a hint. "Veronica," one of my apprentices, had an astrology progression with Pat Hayward. He has been doing annual charts for me and my family for the past 18 years; it's the one type of reading I'm sure to get every year. Helps me choose good publishing periods for my books, for instance.

Veronica, knowing that I am a fan of Pat as well as her, gave me the chance to listen to her life reading. On the topic of children, Pat asked, "How do you feel about becoming a mother?"

Veronic answered, "I could go either way. I'm really not sure yet."
"That's what I thought," Pat said. "And you're so fortunate. It means that you don't have anything to work out in the parenting department."

He went on to share his experience, doing thousands of life charts. When somebody feels a strong urge from childhood to become a parent, very often it happens that at least one child will have major problems. Not a coincidence, according to Pat! Instead, the person has something to work through as a parent. That explains the strong feeling of "I must do this."

By contrast, what about people who don't feel they MUST be either parents or childless? These are the folks who lack a compelling need to be fruitful and add to global overpopulation. If they do decide to have children, those children will be a pleasure -- relatively easy to raise, compatible with the parents, etc.

Wow! This was certainly my story, undecided about parenting until age 42. Getting pregnant instantly, having the dream kid, easy to raise from infancy on. (Knock wood.)

What could freedom of choice have to do with finding a soul-growth relationship?

SOUL-GROWTH MATES, NOT SOUL MATES

Some people really do meet up with soul mates and live happily ever after. They need that. If you know such a person, again, consider the source. Hasn't that person had a difficult life in other respects? That love relationship could be the person's one true and easy thing.

Certainly, if you look in the context of multiple incarnations, your love birds have earned every minute of bliss this time around.

Most relationships that seem to be "soul mate" shoe-ins wind up ending badly. Like Claudia's interlude with Jim, there could be emotional abuse, physical abuse, etc. These relationships get their oomph because they were written into Life Contracts.

Alternatively, you could consider the driving cause to be karma or frozen blocks held in cellular memory (the very thing I help clients to release in Energy Release Regression Therapy). Explanations like this are hardly mutually exclusive. Personally, I believe in all three.

For most people and love relationships, here's the good news. Hundreds of people would make an appropriate life partner for you. Meeting any one of them, there's no loud fanfare. But as you get to know this one or that one, you find compatibility. You find mutual interests. You build a relationship.

Maybe you'll giggle and have sex. Maybe you'll do more than that.
Relationships like these aren't compulsions. At every stage of the relationship, you have free will.

You also get to grow as a person. A blinding attraction isn't all that holds your love together. There can be commitment, values, choice, developing social skills, refining those skills, using your full self to make the marriage work. Sometimes the love flows easily and other times you both use free will to move out obstructions.

Releasing cords of attachment to each other always helps, in my opinion. But so do plenty of other strategies. You find what works for you. Provided you don't give up, you'll always find that.
The culmination with a soul-growth mate could even be divorce. But there's no shame in that. You'll have grown all the way.

Whether lifelong relationships or shorter, soul-growth mates always win. If you have been given this opportunity, rather than the much mythologized soul mate type of relationship, consider yourself fortunate.

Amazonians, I do invite you to visit my blog, "Deeper Perception Made Practical," in order to comment and meet a smart and engaging community of Blog-Buddies. To find us, plus many posts not here at Amazon, type into your browser Rose Rosetree backslash blog. I'll get back here as fast as I can, too. Just that my day has 24 hours. Even Deeper Perception doesn't seem to change that fact!

From Rose Rosetree, author of "Read People Deeper: Body Language + Face Reading + Auras"

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 13, 2011 2:39:27 PM PST
Chilly Down says:
Re: From Rose Rosetree, author of "Read People Deeper: Body Language + Face Reading + Auras"

So this whole big post was just an advertisement for your book? Pfft.

It would have been so much more interesting and credible if it hadn't been all about advertising & self-promotion.

Posted on Dec 13, 2011 2:40:41 PM PST
Chilly Down says:
LOL

Re: "What is that person trying to sell?"

Ironically, we all know the answer to that when it comes to you.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 13, 2011 2:54:02 PM PST
Dear Antarctican:

When I share information here, or at my blog, many people find it useful. If there is a way to convey information online that forces people to read anything, or to buy anything, I wouldn't know about it.

Every week I spend many hours giving away information for free at "Deeper Perception Made Practical." Yes, I do think I have some concepts and techniques to share that can help people. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office apparently thought so as well, since I have four trademarked systems registered nationally.

For 41 years I have served as a spiritual teacher and writer. You might consider how it reflects upon you when you take such glee in attacking and belittling another person's life work.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 13, 2011 3:22:08 PM PST
Chilly Down says:
Rose:

I'm not belittling your life's work in the least.

In my first post, I said that *your* post would have been much more interesting and credible (NOT an attack, but a compliment) IF it hadn't been agenda-driven (my characterization of it) by virtue of it simply being an advertisement.

It is the ADVERTISEMENT, *not* the life's work, with which I have a problem.

You're no different in that respect from any of the others who use Amazon discussion forums as one big advertisement for their publications.

It's all about advertisement and self-promotion - REGARDLESS of whatever it is you're selling (whether vitamins, books on love, books on metaphysics, publications on finding a soul mate, etc. - DOESN'T MATTER).

Posted on Dec 13, 2011 3:42:28 PM PST
ZombieDiva says:
Actually it is against the TOS to promote your own publications, just sayin'...

Posted on Dec 15, 2011 2:42:24 AM PST
I thought I'd jump in on this conversation and just mention that I came across a great explanation of soul mates and how to become soul mates. I summarized it in an article on my website (www.PSLinstitute.com ... go to article # 12, "Become Soul Mates"). Briefly, we become soul mates by understanding who we really are ... children of God ... souls of infinite worth. If we realize this, will will have the highest regard for each other, and treat each other with greater respect.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 20, 2011 12:22:26 AM PST
Douglas says:
We each have a Soul Mate on the Other Side. That is the other part of us that is of the opposite sex and freely roams the Other Side. When you return to the Other Side, you and your Soul Mate are best of friends and thank each other for taking care of their other half. Both Souls almost never visit the earth as one stays on the Other Side to protect. Soul mate don't become, they are eternal. What is expressed on earth is perfect match rather than Soul Mate.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 21, 2011 9:29:53 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Dec 21, 2011 9:55:21 AM PST
kim says:
thank you for your lovely and succinct explanation of soul mate and soul-growth mate. discernment is an important skill to grow while looking at these issues. it's one that i am fostering in raising teenagers as they look at their own budding desires for relationships, sexual and otherwise. in my own experience,looking for peace and spiritual growth, the electric glance across a room is my signal to excuse myself and run. ALL of those beginnings have ended in upset and disaster for me. they have been based in evolution of the species (lust) and fear. i have satisfied that part of my being with plenty of experience and knowledge in that arena. peace and spiritual knowledge are my goals now.
thank you for explanation and the invitation to come explore and play. i like to yes to the people who say yes!

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 21, 2011 9:33:28 AM PST
kim says:
thank you for your lovely and succinct explanation of soul mate and soul-growth mate. discernment is an important skill to grow while looking at these issues. it's one that i am fostering in raising teenagers as they look at their own budding desires for relationships, sexual and otherwise. in my own experience,looking for peace and spiritual growth, the electric glance across a room is my signal to excuse myself and run. ALL of those beginnings have ended in upset and disaster for me. they have been based in evolution of the species (lust) and fear. i have satisfied that part of my being with plenty of experience and knowledge in that arena. peace and spiritual knowledge are my goals now.
thank you for explanation and the invitation to come explore and play. i like to yes to the people who say yes!

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 21, 2011 9:33:52 AM PST
kim says:
thank you for your lovely and succinct explanation of soul mate and soul-growth mate. discernment is an important skill to grow while looking at these issues. it's one that i am fostering in raising teenagers as they look at their own budding desires for relationships, sexual and otherwise. in my own experience,looking for peace and spiritual growth, the electric glance across a room is my signal to excuse myself and run. ALL of those beginnings have ended in upset and disaster for me. they have been based in evolution of the species (lust) and fear. i have satisfied that part of my being with plenty of experience and knowledge in that arena. peace and spiritual knowledge are my goals now.
thank you for explanation and the invitation to come explore and play. i like to yes to the people who say yes!

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 21, 2011 9:34:07 AM PST
kim says:
thank you for your lovely and succinct explanation of soul mate and soul-growth mate. discernment is an important skill to grow while looking at these issues. it's one that i am fostering in raising teenagers as they look at their own budding desires for relationships, sexual and otherwise. in my own experience,looking for peace and spiritual growth, the electric glance across a room is my signal to excuse myself and run. ALL of those beginnings have ended in upset and disaster for me. they have been based in evolution of the species (lust) and fear. i have satisfied that part of my being with plenty of experience and knowledge in that arena. peace and spiritual knowledge are my goals now.
thank you for explanation and the invitation to come explore and play. i like to yes to the people who say yes!

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 21, 2011 9:36:17 AM PST
kim says:
lalalal

Posted on Dec 21, 2011 11:15:06 AM PST
Kimberly, I applaud your emphasis on personal spiritual growth versus an electric glance across a room. It amazes me how much more enthusiasm people can bring to a discussion of soul mates in contrast to discussing, or valuing, or paying attention, or nurturing, their own souls.

Posted on Dec 30, 2011 8:00:12 AM PST
[Deleted by Amazon on Dec 30, 2011 8:01:56 AM PST]
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Discussion in:  Self-help forum
Participants:  8
Total posts:  15
Initial post:  Aug 15, 2008
Latest post:  Dec 30, 2011

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