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Customer Discussions > Sex forum

Virgin and over 40

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Showing 101-117 of 117 posts in this discussion
Posted on Aug 22, 2011 1:38:45 AM PDT
A. Owens says:
I might be misunderstanding your point, but I have never heard of virgins militantly opposing our seemingly peer counterparts. Most of us are just normal, healthy people who have chosen not to have sex. That simple. As you stated, many of us do not have low libido, and are really not that "different."

Posted on Aug 22, 2011 1:45:10 AM PDT
But you ARE different. You're virgins. That is neither pejorative nor an assessment. It's a statement of fact.

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 22, 2011 5:36:36 PM PDT
A. Owens says:
People who are virgins are no more "different" than people who decide not to smoke. People who decie not to have sex are just normal people making a lifestyle choice. We work, eat, drink, and participate in society the SAME as everyone else. Society labels virgins as different because of unfactual preconceived notions placed upon them.

Posted on Aug 23, 2011 11:58:26 PM PDT
I understand this is a sensitive issue and that there are those who mock those who have chosen this lifestyle. Please know, I respect the decision. I'm not demeaning you by saying you are different from those who are sexually active, any more than I would be if I simply identified smokers as different from non-smokers. It is simply a logical, mathematical description. The really cool thing about you as compared to smokers, is your lifestyle choice has no effect on those around you, whereas smokers effect us all.

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 24, 2011 12:35:08 AM PDT
A. Owens says:
It would be cool if more people had the strength to make the decision. Why is it so unacceptable in our society? And, why do people blow it so out of proportion? In the media the virgin is always the ugly, weird, antisocial nerd, but really we are regular, normal people.

Posted on Aug 24, 2011 9:26:07 PM PDT
I'mma virgin, and I can't come to terms with it. Its hard to find someone of my age that will look past that and get to know ME! I'm glad to know older people are virigins, it makes me wanna wait!

In reply to an earlier post on Aug 24, 2011 10:11:57 PM PDT
A. Owens says:
How old are you?

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 18, 2011 12:29:20 PM PDT
godmyth says:
I am a 43 year old virgin. For a man, it isn't something that I talk about much and I appreciate that you're finally "coming to grips" with your sexual status. For me, sometimes it doesn't bother me at all and other times, it makes me feel like a child. Sometimes it makes me angry and sometimes it makes me sad and sometimes it just hurts.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 18, 2011 12:36:23 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Sep 18, 2011 12:40:56 PM PDT
godmyth says:
That is quite easy to say but there are many reasons that one could be a virgin in midlife. To say that we should "just have sex and get it over with" assumes that we have potential sexual partners. What's more, how does one explain, at 43, that they're still a virgin? The older one gets, the harder that issue is to approach because in our society the older you are, especially for men, the more experience you're supposed to have.

In reply to an earlier post on Sep 18, 2011 10:47:43 PM PDT
A. Owens says:
I totally understand that.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 4, 2011 8:05:14 AM PST
Unknown says:
Godmyth do not be ashamed of your status. I just can't believe in this day in age people can be ridiculed for not having sex. I am a 39 year old female who has not had sex. I haven't been married or had a long-term relationship. Is this abnormal? Some would say yes - but this is the path my life has taken. And no I don't see myself as very religious or extremely conservative - or better than anyone else. I spent my 20s on a college campus of 30K students watching women trying to bed available men and find potential mates. In my 30s my professional career started and I've lived in areas where finding potential mates is a difficult challenge. People assume that everyone has potential sex partners available and that is not always the case. I always knew I wasn't going to just grab someone and "do the deed." After all how will my world change other than that I get to say "hey I did it." Forget about the fact that it may stink or heaven forbid I"m unlucky and wind up with a STD. I'm not saying I would not take the opportunity if it presented itself. But it hasn't so what's girl to do? I've been at sites all weekend where I've been deemed "abnormal" and "unhealthy" but I had to remind myself what do these people know about me? At this one site I read yesterday a 33 year old guy wants to kill himself because he is still a virgin and was so ashamed. I realized today how crazy it is to allow people's opinions affect us in such a way. I cried for this guy. Today I decided I can sit around and mourn about how "freakish" I will be seen or I can accept that maybe I was put on this path because I was strong enough to walk it. Realize there are plenty of people out there who would be willing to take what we have and not care about how the experience affects us. After all anyone can pull out a wad of money and buy sex or get drunk and throw caution to the wind. I don't expect harps, flutes and the perfect dialogue when the time comes - if it comes. But I feel I at least deserve to be with someone who cares about making it a good experience for me and won't think less of me for the path my life took.

Posted on Dec 5, 2011 2:38:51 PM PST
A. Owens says:
CrysHigh07 - Thanx for a very eloquent response. As a 46 year-old virgin female, I agree with you whole-heartedly. I just wish that there was a club, or something, for older virgins so that we could share our experiences. Many of us are not weird, antisocial misfits, but are just normal people who made a particular choice.

Posted on Dec 5, 2011 3:59:17 PM PST
Unknown says:
My pleasure. Perhaps our ability to stay true to ourselves will inspire those who come up after us to create such an environment. Or simply know that there is no reason to be ashamed or considered "abnormal" by walking a path less traveled. Sad that with the state of the world people find time to criticize those they don't even know about a choice that should be only be made by the individual. And our decision to "wait until we feel ready" certainly hurts no one - unlike smoking, drinking, drug use and unprotected sex. My prayer is that one day as a society we will grow up and learn to respect and embrace each other's differences.

In reply to an earlier post on Dec 5, 2011 4:13:39 PM PST
A. Owens says:

Posted on Jun 26, 2012 3:09:58 AM PDT
Shiva says:
If you haven't had sex it may help you to learn a little more about how men really relate to women. This book may be insightful. Also the path of Tantra offers people many opportunities to learn about boundaries, sex, sexual energy in very safe and guided ways. Sex is a beautiful thing to be celebrated. It is yours!

the sex god - No Mud No Lotus

Posted on Jun 27, 2012 9:26:07 PM PDT
A. Owens says:
Not necessary. I know everything there is to know about sex. I'm a Health teacher. I teach sex ed. I just haven't had sex yet.

Posted on Sep 26, 2012 2:32:47 PM PDT
A. Owens says:
So, any updates from any of those who posted here?
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Discussion in:  Sex forum
Participants:  29
Total posts:  117
Initial post:  Dec 16, 2008
Latest post:  Sep 26, 2012

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