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Is it OK if I used it to nudge several people towards Death Valley with it?


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Initial post: Jun 28, 2010 2:24:15 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Aug 12, 2010 6:57:00 AM PDT
Hi everyone, I'm wondering if you can help. I have a slightly damaged textbook and am wondering if it would be OK to sell through Amazon's excellent textbook buyback scheme. The story is this: I was sitting in a bus station quietly reading, when the whole place filled up with a large group of very noisy exchange students of various nationalities. They were all wonderful people, but they were also annoying me, and from their very noisy chatter I could tell that they had the same destination as me. I saw that there was another bus with destination Death Valley, so I nudged one of them with my book, nodded my head towards the other bus, and said, "I think you'd better hurry, as your bus is about to leave."

"That not my bus," replied the exchange student.

"Oh yes it is, and you need to hurry. And don't forget to tell all your friends that they need to hurry too."

Well, to cut a long story short, I persuaded them, but in the process one corner of the book got slightly dented. I also accidentally dropped the book while it was open, which got dirt on a couple of the pages. It's otherwise in good condition and is legible throughout. I'd be very grateful for any advice. Does anyone else have experience of books that have been used for nudging?

Edit: In view of the considerable negative reaction to this post, I feel obliged to offer a small apology. Such humour as there is in the post (and it's not meant to be side-splittingly funny or anything) derives from its similarity to a much funnier post, not by me, that led to a long thread that was pulled in its entirety by Amazon. I cannot risk saying more about that post in case this one too gets pulled. The main point I'm making is that if you didn't get to read the original post then this one will indeed seem pretty lame, and I'm sorry that there's not much I can do about it.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 4:09:52 AM PDT
Art Johnson says:
It apparently wasn't a textbook on being funny.

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 28, 2010 4:32:43 AM PDT
Apologies -- forgot to mention that it was Hardy and Wright's classic book on number theory. So you are indeed correct.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 4:45:20 AM PDT
That wasn't a bus, that was the HBM.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 7:09:21 AM PDT
OH. We must have been out making our welcome wagon rounds. And I thought those were speedbumps...
Jenn

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 7:23:40 AM PDT
So how does all this work? Well, I was in the HBM with a blanket over my head, as only some will remember, and the journey became long and boring (for me at least, with nothing to look at) until we pulled into a bus station. I was told to get out and wait in the waiting room: they allowed me to remove the blanket on condition that I didn't look behind me as I walked to it from the bus. (And if I did? The woman in the chicken suit would be changed to a pillar of salt. But I didn't.) Seems that I hadn't taken in the shape of the HBM all that well, since all it took for me to mistake it for a bus was for somebody to replace the letters HBM by "Death Valley" on the front.

I now had a choice. Either I should get back on the HBM, putting up with the noise of the exchange students but having a chance of being introduced to Mister Sir, or I should get on a proper bus. The fact that I had no idea where I was didn't make the decision any easier, and life on a traffic island had caused me to forget simple techniques like having a look around or asking somebody. And in the end it turned out that I didn't have a choice anyway. Two women approached me, brandishing textbooks.

"Are you getting back on the HBM or will we have to nudge you?" they asked.
"Nudge me?" I replied.
"Don't ask," said one of them, eyes pointing heavenward. "Trust me, you don't want to be nudged."

So I got back on the HBM. The blanket was a nuisance, but at least it slightly muffled the noise of the exchange students. And there was a nice smell of chocolate.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 11:00:17 AM PDT
Conjectural Emendation: There may be some confusion over the OCR-scanned version of the original post here. The so-called "exchange students" were students who were studying how to use Microsoft Exchange Server, and a glitch on the scanned copy had altered an "r" into an "n", for these were students who were studying Microsoft Exchange who were of all different rationalities, not nationalities. In all other respects, the post is accurate, except to those conspiracy theorists who believe the book in question was actually Classical Electrodynamics Third Edition by Jackson. When asked why they believe this Jackson-swaperoo theory, the conspiracy theorists whisper the words "academic blackout" and "vendetta" to explain the alleged motive behind the swap. But that is simply to quibble.

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 28, 2010 11:06:51 AM PDT
WriterGal says:
Thanks for the clarification, Mr. Sir. And now back to our regularly scheduled bludgeoning . . .

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 11:30:34 AM PDT
Nudging if you please. Bludgeoning is wicked and sinful and cannot be mentioned directly.

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 28, 2010 11:33:13 AM PDT
WriterGal says:
You're right. <Nudges a_math for that reminder.> Just doin' my duty.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 11:47:25 AM PDT
Yes, I see the case you can make that those folks should have been nudged toward Death Valley, making one wonder Who Pooped in the Park? Death Valley. But I think these folks should have been directed toward The Inferno instead. Then you could slip them a nice bottle of Zweigle's Hot Dog Sauce to swig for hydration's sake, and provide them with a Heavy Duty Meat Cleaver (8" long x 4" wide) for self-protection from the Elements of Government Contracting. As should we all.

< Okay, did I promote enough Amazon products to protect THIS thread? >

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 28, 2010 11:49:56 AM PDT
WriterGal says:
I think the The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee should have been mentioned as well.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 11:56:05 AM PDT
I had to sign in at the dentist with crayons on butcher paper. Should I be worried?
Jw

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 12:13:10 PM PDT
I understood that if you sign in like a normal person, they let Jacqueline the Ripperess do your prophylaxis.... BUT if you EAT the crayon and use the butcher paper the RIGHT way, you'll get a much better dental experience out of it (then Molar Molly will do the prophylaxis with plenty of anesthesia to make your face feel like it's sliding down your cheek bones).

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 12:19:11 PM PDT
Bludgeon Nuns is a botched anagram for Nudge Blondes. Coincidence? I think not!

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 12:21:06 PM PDT
Glad it's my kids being seen and NOT me!!!!!
Jenn

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 28, 2010 12:27:16 PM PDT
Nudge nudge wink wink ... OUCH!

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 1:59:38 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jun 28, 2010 2:01:12 PM PDT
Badger Balm Anti-Bug Balm is recommended for those who need Bird B Gone Bird Chase Super Sonic MMIB50, although folks who are lactose-intolerant should consider a RSVP Compost Pail to keep any tossed cookies in a safe place. Otherwise, only buy tasers that have a Pac TR-4 Low-Voltage Remote Turn-On Trigger.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 2:03:34 PM PDT
I'm betting you use Liar Breath Spray .25oz, as do most folks who need a BABYBJ÷RN Potty Chair - Blue but won't admit it.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 2:28:52 PM PDT
As the HBM set off out of the bus station, from the waiting room some old fudge-chewing curmudgeon grudgingly judged the burgeoning nudging that budged the kludge trudging through the sludge until it was a mere smudge on the horizon to be unfunny.

"Ha ha," he said in a sarcastic voice. One person looked round and politely exhaled rapidly through his nose to indicate mild amusement. Everybody else got on with their telephone conversations, newspapers, hot dogs, cans of diet coke and the like.

But I was completely unaware of this, as I asked, "Are we on our way to see Mister Sir?"

"There is a sense in which the answer to that question is yes," was the reply. I knew better than to pursue the matter.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 3:55:05 PM PDT
Nice play on the products Martin.
Nudge-nudge...nice word play a_math! You smell like chocolate. Did you steal fudge from the curmudgeon?
Jenn

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 4:46:34 PM PDT
While you're eating your Chocolate Delights: Gourmet Chocolate Gift Basket, the Cabana 10x8 Boy's Life onboard the HBM was pure Hell, what with Classic Adult Bunny Slippers tearing the Life out of their Feet Of Clay, meaning they had One Foot in the Grave (Night Huntress, Book 2) thanks to the HBM Women and their Temporary Insanity.

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 6:21:46 PM PDT
Last edited by the author on Jun 28, 2010 6:56:36 PM PDT
mangoô says:
"Hi everyone!!!( huffing, puffing, running alongside HBM) I thought this was the Good Humor Truck!!...or in deference to a-math, the Good Humour Truck.....do you think you could nudge (wink wink) some of those chatting students to budge over a bit ? There's hardly room for me ,and (gestures with the hand that wasn't clutching onto the trusty HBM) and my buddies here"!! Attached to said gesturing hand is a cord pulling along K.E. Bagg and the potentially handy gurney/grave.
"hurry and help us climb on board.....This Extra Dark Chocolate and Almond Bark is really melting fast!!!"

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 6:49:39 PM PDT
I think The Buffalino is trying to bury Lou in his ScoopFree Self-Cleaning Litter Box by Brilliant Pet again. The HBM is getting crowded, we must nudge these extra people off the bus. (More ice cream for the rest of us!)

Posted on Jun 28, 2010 7:07:10 PM PDT
Fine by me.<Nudges natterers out rear door, grimaces at screams...>They hadn't paid for their "bus pass" anyway!(nudge nudge, wink wink.) Here's the Febreze for Lou. Can we just drop him off at the dry cleaners?
Anyone for a Klondike bar? a_math, how many people CAN fit on this HBM? Is it divisible by 7?
(man, those natterers rubbed off on me. Back to the self nudging...)
Jenn
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Discussion in:  Textbook Buyback forum
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Initial post:  Jun 28, 2010
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