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Boy, people have a lot of time on their hands: An Amazon Hitman Review


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Showing 1-25 of 32 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Nov 21, 2012 12:02:41 AM PST
Dukeshire says:
Enjoy but beware:

1.0 out of 5 stars Hitman aint no Hitman . November 20, 2012

By GamesMasterForLife

Platform for Display:Xbox 360|Edition:Standard

Hello all you go nowhere losers,here we are again trying to save you poor souls from your very useless selves.will you pay any attention to what I have to say ?definitely not,which is very unfortunate for you,as I am only trying to help you the only way I know how.I'll start with the question : who the hell would actually play this steaming pile of crap ? NOT ME,that's for sure.from what I've read the one saving grace in this game is the multiplayer option where you are able to set missions for your oponents.but with this only being available in the multiplayer option this means you will need friends to play against in order to take advantage of this option.and from where I'm standing it doesn't look like many of you headset wearing,no nothing teen newspaper delivery boys/girls has any.so that option isn't going to be much use to you .

The graphics are spakly and nice and shiny which will iundoubtedly impress the hell out of you,so inbetween watching Pokemon ,drinking Monster energy drinks and watching Ben 10 ,you'll have something else to do. and with your far inferior intelligence this will probably keep you entertained for months maybe even years.LOL.You'll also be impressed by the characters ability.I call it an ability because most of you will probably be the real life incarnation of a cartoon character,and this means you'll wear the same clothes every day of your lives.anyway the character in the game has the "Ability" to change their clothes and disguise themselves to confuse their oponents and will also confuse you as you'll rpobably disguisse the hitman and you wont even recognise yourself.ultimately ending up shooting yourself and maybe even killing yourself,hahahahahaha :-) wouldn't that be funny ? YES IT WOULD.but no where near as funny as my review.you are basically plaing the hardest hitman the world has ever seen (but then the hitman has never been controlled by you,Until now) he i scaleld........Agent 47.I wonder how long it took them to think up that oh so complicated name ?

I personally didn't play this game on the rock hard level which has you killed in seconds , your oponents see you before you see yourself, and kill you before you can even think about grabbing your gun . which as enetrtaining as it sounds ,well it truly isnt. this game disappoints on every level imaginable which was no surprise to me , but will probably shick the hell out of most of you.

I'll sign off by saying that I've never actcually played the game but I'm more than qualified to put across my point of view as emotionally draining as it will be for you to read my review?comments it's something you'll have to do as there aren't many Hitman reviews and mines definitrely the best of the bunch.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 12:06:05 AM PST
Thanks for posting this dukeshire, I needed a good laugh.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 12:08:18 AM PST
Dukeshire says:
No wonder the world hates us. Jesus. I just re-read it, and damn, while this person is trolling, he is DUMB. As a teacher I am appalled at our education system....I blame myself.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 12:12:19 AM PST
[Deleted by the author on Nov 21, 2012 12:23:36 AM PST]

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 12:20:26 AM PST
I'll be the first to admit that my sentence structure and grammar isn't the best, but, damn that was bad.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 12:23:03 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 21, 2012 12:23:31 AM PST
Dukeshire says:
You're correct it is bad, but he cannot be American: He must be Canadian.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 4:25:55 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 21, 2012 4:26:13 AM PST
MrFoxhound says:
Sounds pretty accurate to me.

*goes back to drinking Monster energy drinks while catching Pokemon and watching Ben 10*

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 4:36:59 AM PST
Yep. For someone trying to talk down on individuals with supposed inferior intellect, he sure don't talk good.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 4:56:04 AM PST
Phranctoast says:
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?2,file=17054,filename=attentionwhore1.jpg

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 4:56:58 AM PST
Him says:
This guy puts the duh in stupid.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 5:19:57 AM PST
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

While this movie quote has been used several times here in the VGF over the years, I struggle to think of a better use of it than on this reviewer. My god, the stupid is burning my eyes.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 7:51:20 AM PST
I'll buy his copy from him for half price of a used copy :P

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 8:05:16 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 21, 2012 8:05:48 AM PST
JWK says:
Stopped reading after "GamesMasterForLife." Who would call himself that?

Edit: I read the review. It makes more sense now.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:08:21 AM PST
Soulshine says:
I hat so much about the way that reviewer chooses to be.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:08:47 AM PST
Ugh, this guy. He wrote like 3 or 4 reviews for Dishonored across the 360 and PS3 version.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 8:09:38 AM PST
JWK says:
Don't speak ill of the Game Master. He's MASTERED the game, son.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 8:10:33 AM PST
McAwesomeo says:
Flagellate (fun word!) yourself and think about how you could improve.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:12:06 AM PST
Holy crap, what's his name gave it a 3/5. :o

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:17:41 AM PST
" it doesn't look like many of you headset wearing,no nothing teen"

Oh, the irony!

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:20:12 AM PST
What's Ben 10? Is that a hipper modern version of Ben Folds Five?

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:20:39 AM PST
Shanghaied says:
I wonder if he used his welfare check to pay for the computer he wrote this review on?

Shame that distributive justice in this country gives illiterate mongoloid narcissists like that means for survival.

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:20:44 AM PST
Marvelous says:
"Hello all you go nowhere losers,here we are again trying to save you poor souls from your very useless selves.will you pay any attention to what I have to say ?"

I really couldn't bare to read any farther.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 21, 2012 8:21:02 AM PST
I stopped reading at "By GamesMasterForLife"

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:46:36 AM PST
LogJam says:
Thank goodness he didn't post this under his illiterate, histrionic alter-ego "GamezMstr4Lyfe"

Posted on Nov 21, 2012 8:58:04 AM PST
Dukeshire says:
I will say that it could be one of our fanboys in disguise. It is pretty bad when someone takes the time to write (really badly) troll reviews, but then we get troll threads all the time:

"Hey guys, Halo 4 is pretty fun!"

Response:

MGS 4 is four years older and has better graphics, and the PS3 has sold more in six years!"

Or

"You have to pay for PS+ games, but XBL is more and you get no games....oh wait."
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This discussion

Discussion in:  Video Games forum
Participants:  24
Total posts:  32
Initial post:  Nov 21, 2012
Latest post:  Nov 21, 2012

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