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OT: America Needs a Divorce - written by a young college student.


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Initial post: Nov 5, 2012 9:45:11 AM PST
FOGE says:
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
Written by a young college student

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a our separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O?Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane ( Hanoi ) Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:48:56 AM PST
I agree with all of this ^^^^^^^

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 9:49:56 AM PST
FOGE says:
Same, apparently a few people dont though. :)

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:50:15 AM PST
S. Brown says:
Liberals didn't exist before the late 50s? I don't remember that one from history class.

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:50:39 AM PST
Soulshine says:
I think I'm justified in not ever listening to any college kid who is pre-law.

Or a political science major.

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:52:16 AM PST
So what's everybody eating today?

I've got a burrito bowl filled with barbacoa and brown rice....Decided to go the bowl route this time.

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:52:49 AM PST
Oskar2525 says:
This guy is going to be a lawyer?

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 9:53:16 AM PST
FOGE says:
Say what you want about food, you watch this turn into a heated debate that spawns like 10 pages of replies.

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:53:27 AM PST
Paper Tiger says:
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say this kid goes to night law school as opposed to Harvard Law.

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:54:42 AM PST
McAwesomeo says:
I feel more stupid for having read that.

And for lunch I have leftover chili and a PB&J!

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 9:56:19 AM PST
FOGE says:
The more you know...

Honestly, I dont know what people expect will happen when you punish the hard workers and reward the lazy. I think there is a lot of great points in the article. Especially the part about finding a giant diesel truck to life Rosie and Oprah.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 9:58:08 AM PST
Indeed.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 9:58:25 AM PST
I know I always feel weird being one of the few conservatives in the VGF but to be honest I hate politics right now and can't wait for this crap to be over!

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:58:54 AM PST
Wow...I'd like the last five minutes of my life back.

Posted on Nov 5, 2012 9:59:48 AM PST
Thank god we can all just go back to complaining about our jobs and the price of groceries after tomorrow.

I'm going to split a chicken strip salad with my gal in an hour, can't wait!

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:00:20 AM PST
FOGE says:
I dont know why its so one-sided here. Really odd. But, same. I m sick of the politics. Im sick of the division setting over our once great country and I hate the low levels people stoop to. I liked this article though since it had some levity.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:00:42 AM PST
" punish the hard workers and reward the lazy"

Visit any major city and you can get a full view. The bottom feeders living in Cleveland drive nicer cars than I do as a working adult, but somehow they're getting free passes for everything. Oh wait...*looks at pay stub* That's right, I helped pay for those cars.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:02:08 AM PST
Yeah, I'm there with you. If this guy's representative of the "non liberals" apparently our irreconcilable differences are "That guy's a idck."

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:02:20 AM PST
Indeed! Two days from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be and it will be so. If you find yourself alone....

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:02:31 AM PST
FOGE says:
Yep. In Indianapolis there is this thing called Black Expo. I was fine with it and overall am fine. Then I heard they have a class that teaches people how to exploit the system for more money/ benefits. That is absurd. Those entitlements are contributing to bankrupting our country.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:02:37 AM PST
Ah, the motive bubbles forth. Were you missing all that attention Steve was getting? lol

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:03:05 AM PST
P.S. Stands for Post Script. P.S.S would read Post Script Script.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:03:42 AM PST
Nope... We're past the point of no return. The guttersniping that's gone on in the last decade. The petty insults, and the partisan politics on both sides. We're stuck with it. It's only getting worse and worse.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:04:02 AM PST
Yeah I work for an american automation company that helps produce machines that assemble automotive parts for Chrysler, Ford, Chevy, Dodge, and Toyota. I always hear people complaining about America and losing all of our sales to overseas companies. Then you see them drive away in a Honda.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 5, 2012 10:04:22 AM PST
I think he wrote a lot of really super-end-of-the-political-spectrum lines to make his point, but I think that nowadays it isn't exactly black or white. Many people gravitate towards the middle grey area.
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Discussion in:  Video Games forum
Participants:  83
Total posts:  516
Initial post:  Nov 5, 2012
Latest post:  Sep 30, 2014

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