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Customer Discussions > Women forum

Need help in supporting my fiance dealing with issues from past abusive relationship


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Showing 1-5 of 5 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Jun 29, 2010 7:07:13 AM PDT
Steven White says:
I need help PLEASE! I have a wonderful woman in my life who unfortunately was in an abusive marriage in the past. Our relationship has been progressing well up to the point of marriage when she seems to have had a type of post traumatic upset steming from her past. I have encouraged her to see a counselor who specializes in this and assured her of my love and support. That is the reason for this post. I am looking for any resources that can help me to be more understanding and know just how I can be of best support to her. I truely love her and want to work thru this. PLEASE help me.
Thank you,

In reply to an earlier post on Jun 29, 2010 7:18:07 AM PDT
Liza Glazer says:
Mysteries of the Heart: A Roadmap to a Loving Relationship and a Happy Marriage
i suggeset both of you read this book and use very simple and extremely powerful techniques described in chapter 10 (how to release your emotional burden). many blessings

Posted on Dec 19, 2010 2:55:56 AM PST
[Deleted by the author on Dec 19, 2010 2:56:18 AM PST]

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 3, 2011 9:12:49 PM PST
lwd says:
Steven -

Encouraging her to see a counselor is great, but it might be more proactive if you went to see one yourself, separately. He/she could give you more reliable advice on how to help your lady than anyone here. Psychology should not only be for the victim, but also for the person who wants to understand issues that might arise in the relationship.

In reply to an earlier post on Jan 4, 2011 3:12:13 PM PST
Pipincho says:
The most important issue is open communication. Both of you have to be able to understand, sincerely, that no matter what you say to each other, it will not offend the other. It has be taken as a step towards improvement. If either of you lets anything said, offend you, you are lost.
People always give very important clues about themselves. Most of us think that we are delivering the message we want, correctly. But we never stop to check that the message was received correctly, and understood. If we did this often, we wouldn't have so many misunderstandings.
Check your communication channels. You will discover great new horizons, and you will find better ways to deal with the past and certainly better ways to plan for the future.
Love means accepting the other person, faults first, without wanting to change them.
If they want to change by themselves, and become better, and they want your help, great,,,if not, it is a point where they have to get by themselves. Not by our pressure.
Find the points where her ex was at fault, or where she felt he was at fault. Those are the areas where you will have to prove to her, that you excel. Not with promises. With behaviors, with facts. That will be the best therapy for her.
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Discussion in:  Women forum
Participants:  5
Total posts:  5
Initial post:  Jun 29, 2010
Latest post:  Jan 4, 2011

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