Interchangeable Parts, Irreplaceable Fathers
4:23 PM PDT, June 6, 2008
 My brother-in-law Mark lost his job last week. Like any other weekday, he arrived at his office at 8:25am, likely scanning his Blackberry on his walk across the parking lot to see what his busy schedule held for him. But instead of a day filled with meetings and customer calls, he was promptly ushered into a conference room, sat down by an HR rep, and summarily laid off. Thanks much, but we just don’t need you anymore. To Mark, the sudden loss was devastating—and not just for economic reasons. He loved that job. His view of who he is as a man was largely defined by that role—a vision scratched out forever by an accountant’s pen. Mark is certainly not unique in his outlook. It’s common for a man to define himself in terms of what he does in his profession. I think of times when I introduce myself to a man at church or a social event. We will say our names to each other, and then the conversation inevitably turns to a mutual exchange of And what do you do? Not all men are as career focused as Mark is, but their view of themselves usually remains tied to something else they do—maybe a hobby, sport, or ministry at church. After all, these are just the sort of tasks in which we see ourselves “making our mark” or “making a difference” in the world. Mark’s experience from last week, however, reminds me just how replaceable a man is in any of these roles. When I resigned from a company several years ago, I remember secretly hoping that I would get an email from a coworker a month or two later that said something like Boy, we need you back … You were so much better than the new guy … It’s just not the same anymore. But I never got that email. I too was far more replaceable than I imagined. This idea of being an interchangeable part is not limited to careers. Surprisingly, this truth also holds for a man in Christian service. God may use me as an author to reach thousands of people through my books, as a Bible study leader at my church to disciple dozens of others, and perhaps someday even as a missionary to minister to many people in Haiti. But God has plenty of other authors, church leaders, and missionaries at his disposal. If he does not use me, he can certainly use someone else to get the job done. However, as I talk about in my new book  The Expeditionary Man, a man has one role in which he is considered irreplaceable in the eyes of the Lord—as a father. God does not mix and match here; he never willingly sends in a replacement. As the father of my three sons, I am the only one in this universe positioned to live out the principles of Deuteronomy 6:5-7 and Proverbs 22:6 with them. I am the only one to whom God has entrusted this adventurous responsibility of guiding them from childhood to adulthood. My wife is right alongside me as a partner, of course, but our father and mother roles are clearly distinct in Scripture. We complement, rather than override each other. A mother or another relative can compensate and fill in if a father is not living out his calling, but it’s never the same. What an exciting truth this is for Mark and every other father! It’s the one role in which a man is never going to be laid off, terminated, canned, or shelved. He’s irreplaceable! This Father’s Day will be unique one for me and my family. We’ll be just a couple weeks away from launching a cross-country bicycle tour we’re calling The Expeditionary Man Bike Tour. From June 28 to July 25, my boys and I will be bicycling from San Diego, California to Charleston, South Carolina. As part of the family effort, my wife is driving the support vehicle. Along the way, I will speaking at churches and men's ministry events about my book. You can check out our route and daily blog entries at http://whythebike.com. |
Bio
I am author of "The Expeditionary Man", "The Myth of Happiness", and several "For Dummies" books designed to make meaty truth easily approachable for postmodern readers. These books include "C.S. Lewis & Narnia For Dummies", "Christianity For Dummies", and "Christian Prayer For Dummies".
Before becoming a full-time author, I spent several years in the high tech world. I was V.P. of Product Development at NetObjects, an Internet software company, as well as inventor/architect of NetObjects ScriptBuilder. In between authoring Christian books, I write computer books as well, such as "XSLT For Dummies" and "Building Facebook Applications For Dummies". I graduated from Taylor University and pursued graduate studies at American University. Though a native Hoosier, I now live in Princeton, Massachusetts with my wife and three boys. |
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