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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good but I wouldn't want it as my only brush, July 4, 2013
Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
When I first got this brush I didn't especially like it and felt it was too hard and possibly rough on my teeth and gums. It feels much stiffer than my regular brush and is also much smaller and denser. I decided to use it on the 'sensitive' brush setting and also only some of the time to avoid the possibility of over-brushing my teeth. I plan to show this to my dentist at my next visit to get her opinion of the brush and if it could be considered 'too hard' or not. I'm cautious because it appears from some gun recession that in years' past I may have brushed my teeth too vigorously with too hard a brush, and I don't want to do that again.

I now have grown to like the brush for its ability to clean better in tight spots than my other brush. It works really well behind my front lower teeth, for example, and around my back molars. Those areas feel noticably smoother after I use this brush, and so does my whole mouth. I don't notice that this actually cleans more between my teeth and still floss or use dental picks there. I see this head as a nice addition to my cleaning routine but plan to use it only selectively until I check it out with my dentist. I'll report back what she says.

A final concern is that these brush heads are so expensive. I love the way the Sonicare system cleans and maintains dental health but don't see why (in looking at the materials) these brushes have to be so costly.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Overwritten opening hurts impact of otherwise fine piece, April 29, 2009
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
I loved the first chapter of this and the characterization and much of the writing there but could barely stand much of the trite, overblown language of the opening forest segment. I think the author is trying too hard to use active, vivid verbs and descriptive metaphors and should tighten the piece considerably and just be much more matter-of-fact or else use fresher, less cliched language because overall her piece is quite fine. I'd also remove the exclamation points after the damn's.

Less is more, and that would certainly apply to this forest opening. Without the distracting and cliched language it would read so much better and be much more gripping. The planning the protagonist has done for this revenge is quite impressive, and the detail of what she's doing intriguing enough without all the trite 'atmospheric' language. A good piece but severely overwritten in the forest part. The next chapter is wonderful with much fresher characterization and language. I love the ambiguity and tension of the relationship with the husband, the portrayal of this woman's inner world.

Here's a list of some of some of the words and figures of speech I found ineffective or hackneyed in the forest opening. These wordings have all been used so many times and seem corny, overdone or gaspy to me. They would keep me from reading the piece more than a few paragraphs. They detract from what would seem like much finer writing if pared down:

-the wind whispers through the trees, children sharing secrets
- A gauzy fog
-- In the chill of dawn
- lurking and trudging (these words are too effortful and call attention to themselves. It's the same principle as why we don't use all those synonyms for 'said.' ]
--quiet as a deserted playground [too effortful--plus the opening has entirely too many figures of speech, and the child ref here is painfully obvious and therefore ineffective plus not really apt for describing a forest.]
- a mist crouches like a bird of prey, its breath like talons obscuring here a branch, there a trunk. She can almost smell it, that breath. {WAY TOO MUCH, trite, takes us out of the fictional dream and the story]
-Where the trees pierce the haze, ragged patches of dawn fall onto the alder standing alone like a sentinel in the center of the clearing [too much again, we don't need it]
--spider creeps along the fallen limb [as Renni Browne would say, 1 +1 = 1/2. The squirrel was enough, and we don't need the spider too. The 'creeping' is more of that 'meancing,' overblown language that actually weakens the piece by being too cliched and too much.

Below is an example of an edit I'd do to eliminate some of the excessive language:
--She imagines other hunters in the woods, a conspiracy of witnesses who can destroy everything

I write all this because I have observed this author really cares about craft and it just seems so obvious to me that despite considerable strengths overall some of the language of the opening seriously compromises the effectiveness of her piece. Too many trite figures of speech and adjectives. I think agents and editors would respond against this where as supportive friends and fellow writers, as well as some self-published authors who write the same kind of material, might not. It's just so disturbing to me to see how many here apparently think the prologue of this is much better writing than chapter 1 when to my eye (as an English teacher, professional writer and editor) it so clearly is not.
Comment Comments (5) | Permalink | Most recent comment: May 6, 2009 9:23 PM PDT

No Title Available

5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating and original set-up, April 16, 2009
Although parts of this opening could use a little polishing, the concept and storyline are here in spades, along with tremendous heart, originality and a character I expect to be a most fascinating and unique protangonist. I also suspect a surprise revelation that none of the other reviewers has mentioned, but which I'd put money on it and expect to be very affecting. A high concept medical thriller from a writer who seems to really know his way around the medical and genetic field, MISCONCEPTION brings to mind works as disparate as COMA and MOTHERLESS BROOKLYN. Just this brief opening has me thinking and feeling about issues I hadn't given much thought to before. Seems to have great bestseller potential to me, if the rest of the novel lives up to the opening.

No Title Available

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written--and troubling as well, April 12, 2009
The language, characterization and dialogue of so much of this piece are a delight; the artful descriptions and portrayal of the characters totally drew me in. I agree with the Vine reviewer that it might have been nice to know the country location from the outset (for those of us who are geographically challenged and do not know where the town first cited in the opening is located). Also, that the daughter-in-law is not French earlier on, but those are minor points. This is such fresh, vivid writing, some of the very best I have read in the contest thus far with wonderfully evocative descriptions.

I did find the change in tone and subject matter from the first chapter to the second disconcerting. I was both intrigued and put off by the Professor and his museum. When he told the little girl that Nazi medical experiments on children were not "just done to be mean or evil" (or words to that effect) because he had a reason for what he was doing, that bothered me very much. That research was surely "mean" and reprehensible beyond belief, whether he had a reason for it or not, and I would certainly call it evil even if the Professor would not.

It was not clear in the brief excerpt what the role or treatment of this character would be, but I certainly would not enjoy or want to read a sympathetic portrayal of a Nazi apologist or a novel that actually credits such views. The fact that the author is remaining in the background and not clearly telling us what to think of the character at this point is not a problem; that 's a characteristic of much of the very best fiction. I just hope this very fine writing is in the service of an equally fine premise and story. (And it could be that the way the Professor's imitation of Churchill so troubled a Jewish visitor is in fact cluing us in to his insensitivity. His notebook is also very creepy. The piece might just need a bit of tonal adjustment as going from the suitcase and the legitimately amusing daughter-in-law to the supposedly amusing Professor--seemingly, at first glance-and then Nazi experimentation is such an enormous leap. Perhaps the last part of the first chapter's foreshadowing could be fleshed out a bit.)
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 13, 2009 12:47 PM PDT

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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Marvelous voice & characterization, needs more setting & narrative drive, March 20, 2009
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
I loved the voice, humor, characterization, and quirkiness of this. The character is unique, vivid and sympathetic and the word use and details are marvelously right on. I was drawn right in and really impressed in the beginning but began to tire of the sameness of the prose-style after a while. It was all the same talking-head-like reminiscent exposition with not enough setting, dialog or actual things happening in real time for my taste. It helped when the narrator shot his father, but that all was told far too quickly and was not visual or vivid enough to totally come alive. What, for example, were the boy and his father doing or looking like as they talked? How did the father's appearance change through those lines of dialogue as he died? The words spoken were wonderful but I could not see any of it enough--the grass, the blood, his color or anything like that. Just little bits of description and business here and there could make it much stronger, to my mind.

The piece also felt a little too unfocused--it was not clear enough what the protagonist wanted, what his problem is here and where the story is headed, which gave it less compelling narrative drive. Since the pitch says it was moving towards the parole hearing, I think that could be a great focus and could be played up a lot more to very good effect, making us care along with the character about what his fate will be. It would also help to see more of his present-day, prison surroundings and activities, to present some of it in a scene or two in real time. Have the girlfriend or mother come for a visit, for example: let us see and hear more.

All in all a fabulous character with great heart and humor and wonderful personal details (the escalator and IQ thing, the repeated phrases, the dad working on the roof, the son sounding like the dad) but more varied storytelling craft needed in my opinion to tell the tale.

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