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Missile To The Moon (Rifftrax Version)
Missile To The Moon (Rifftrax Version)
DVD
Price: $9.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars What Did Boz Scaggs Ever Do To You?, December 14, 2014
I had seen "Missile to the Moon" years ago in its original un-riffed version, and despite being a dedicated devotee of MST3K and RiffTrax was somewhat dreading the experience of enduring this classic stinker again. The film is a typical black and white pre-Apollo vision of lunar exploration from the glory days of cheesy sci-fi. This time there is a brilliant scientist who has built a spaceship to go to the moon but the government wants to control the program. All this in from pre-NSA time! Was director Richard E. Cunha a visionary or what? Unfortunately two escaped prisoners on the run break into the rocket just as the good doctor decides to fly the moon mission himself that night before the government can step in. In total five people leave for the moon, but will all of them return? No spoilers here.

After arriving on the moon the explorers find rock monsters, which were by far my favorite part of the film (Gumby came to my mind for some reason,) a bunch of unlikeable backstabbing women headed by "The Lido" (after which the Boz Scaggs jokes became nearly constant to an annoying degree,) and a giant spider which was the funniest cinematic creature I have ever seen other than "The Giant Claw."

There is dancing of almost unendurable length, space suit thefts, diamond mining, love, loss, and general malfeasance aplenty. The film was no better than I remembered, but the presence of the RiffTrax crew really did make it nearly bearable. This isn't one of Kevin, Mike, and Bill's best movies, but it's inoffensive and amusing. Many of the riffs are good, but the underlying materiel is just so stupefyingly boring that I couldn't give it the five stars that I award the majority of MST3K and RiffTrax efforts.


RiffTrax: Missile to the Moon - from the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000!
RiffTrax: Missile to the Moon - from the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000!
DVD ~ Michael J. Nelson
Price: $6.24
20 used & new from $0.85

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars What Did Boz Scaggs Ever Do To You?, December 14, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
I had seen "Missile to the Moon" years ago in its original un-riffed version, and despite being a dedicated devotee of MST3K and RiffTrax was somewhat dreading the experience of enduring this classic stinker again. The film is a typical black and white pre-Apollo vision of lunar exploration from the glory days of cheesy sci-fi. This time there is a brilliant scientist who has built a spaceship to go to the moon but the government wants to control the program. All this in from pre-NSA time! Was director Richard E. Cunha a visionary or what? Unfortunately two escaped prisoners on the run break into the rocket just as the good doctor decides to fly the moon mission himself that night before the government can step in. In total five people leave for the moon, but will all of them return? No spoilers here.

After arriving on the moon the explorers find rock monsters, which were by far my favorite part of the film (Gumby came to my mind for some reason,) a bunch of unlikeable backstabbing women headed by "The Lido" (after which the Boz Scaggs jokes became nearly constant to an annoying degree,) and a giant spider which was the funniest cinematic creature I have ever seen other than "The Giant Claw."

There is dancing of almost unendurable length, space suit thefts, diamond mining, love, loss, and general malfeasance aplenty. The film was no better than I remembered, but the presence of the RiffTrax crew really did make it nearly bearable. This isn't one of Kevin, Mike, and Bill's best movies, but it's inoffensive and amusing. Many of the riffs are good, but the underlying materiel is just so stupefyingly boring that I couldn't give it the five stars that I award the majority of MST3K and RiffTrax efforts.


How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack by Shaffer, Andrew (2014) Paperback
How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack by Shaffer, Andrew (2014) Paperback

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "One Small Step For Mankind, One Great Leap For Sharks.", December 14, 2014
If you care about your own future or the future of mankind, you must be prepared to survive onslaughts of startling phenomena or creatures at any time. Thankfully Andrew Shaffer with the help of noted shark survivalists Fin Shepard and April Wexler are on the case. This book takes up where the other more conventionally accepted survival manuals and manifestos leave off. Whether dealing with the new weather dynamics of Firenadoes, Ice Twisters, or the dreaded Stonehenge Apocalypse, Shaffer and company have actionable tips that will see you through.

The book really shines in its dealings with horrifying creatures, starting with the titular Sharknadoes commonplace in Los Angeles and New York City. I was particularly pleased to see the book conclude with an advanced analysis of the recently recognized threat of Space Sharknadoes; it was wise to leave that for last as that is fairly advanced material. If you think this book is a one trick pony, though, think again: everything necessary is covered here, from the dreaded Mongolian Death Worm (they are slow, so just stay clear of their twelve-foot tongues) to the barely believable Rock Monster (see especially the valuable information contained in the text box titled "Who said it? The evil wizard Dimitar or Kanye West?") I happen to enjoy vacationing on cruise ships, and if you're like me you will definitely want to study up on the Elektrokraken, Piranhaconda, and most terrifying of all, the dreaded Ghost Shark. I just received my DVD documentary titled "Ghost Shark" in the mail, in fact, and am preparing for further study of this worthy adversary before my next seafaring adventure.

This is a great book that can save your life with advice you can't possibly find anywhere else.


How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack
How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack
by Andrew Shaffer
Edition: Paperback
Price: $10.12
74 used & new from $5.83

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "One Small Step For Mankind, One Great Leap For Sharks.", December 14, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
If you care about your own future or the future of mankind, you must be prepared to survive onslaughts of startling phenomena or creatures at any time. Thankfully Andrew Shaffer with the help of noted shark survivalists Fin Shepard and April Wexler are on the case. This book takes up where the other more conventionally accepted survival manuals and manifestos leave off. Whether dealing with the new weather dynamics of Firenadoes, Ice Twisters, or the dreaded Stonehenge Apocalypse, Shaffer and company have actionable tips that will see you through.

The book really shines in its dealings with horrifying creatures, starting with the titular Sharknadoes commonplace in Los Angeles and New York City. I was particularly pleased to see the book conclude with an advanced analysis of the recently recognized threat of Space Sharknadoes; it was wise to leave that for last as that is fairly advanced material. If you think this book is a one trick pony, though, think again: everything necessary is covered here, from the dreaded Mongolian Death Worm (they are slow, so just stay clear of their twelve-foot tongues) to the barely believable Rock Monster (see especially the valuable information contained in the text box titled "Who said it? The evil wizard Dimitar or Kanye West?") I happen to enjoy vacationing on cruise ships, and if you're like me you will definitely want to study up on the Elektrokraken, Piranhaconda, and most terrifying of all, the dreaded Ghost Shark. I just received my DVD documentary titled "Ghost Shark" in the mail, in fact, and am preparing for further study of this worthy adversary before my next seafaring adventure.

This is a great book that can save your life with advice you can't possibly find anywhere else.


The Love Guru
The Love Guru
DVD ~ Mike Myers
Offered by SOUTHWEST MEDIA
Price: $11.99
228 used & new from $0.01

1.0 out of 5 stars I Cannot Believe I'm Saying This, But This Movie Made Me Grateful For Justin Timberlake, November 30, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Love Guru (DVD)
Remember when Mike Myers was funny? Yeah, me neither. This movie has completely overridden any memories of comedic competence from Myers in my mind. Opening with a rousing version of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" on the sitar (please, no more: my ears are bleeding...,) the film promptly reveals its raison d'être: jokes about reproductive organs and bodily functions that fifth grade boys would be embarrassed by. This movie is so truly unfunny, I don't know where to start.

While there are a couple of amusing bits skewering the whole pop-enlightenment culture (I have no idea how they actually got Deepak Chopra to be involved with this project,) e.g. presentations taking you "from 'nowhere' to 'now-here,'" the jokes are absolutely stultifying, but if it's scatological it's covered: I never again need to contemplate a urine mop battle, if that gives you some idea about what we're dealing with here.

There is talent aplenty on display, and an astonishing list of cameos far too lengthy for me to remember: Val Kilmer, Jessica Simpson, Kanye West, Jim Gaffigan and Stephen Colbert, just off the tip of my brain. Gaffigan and Colbert are color commentators and hockey broadcasters that get some of the funniest bits of the film (which isn't saying much,) while even Oprah (!) gets a moment of glory to bask in. Likewise there are big names in the cast: Ben Kingsley plays the perpetually cross-eyed Guru Tugginmypudha (yes, that's the level of comedy being served) and Jessica Alba represents the Toronto Maple Leafs management. Oh didn't I mention this movie is all about hockey? Sadly it is, and it's enough to make hockey fans weep. Due to a love triangle of idiotic proportions, Alba needs Guru Pitka (Myers) to help Toronto win the Stanley Cup. Just think about that concept for a second. The best performances in the film (other than Colbert and Gaffigan, who have minor recurring parts,) are from the embattled hockey arch-enemies Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) and Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake) who face off on the ice and off. Suffice it to say that Timberlake carries what little of the film he can, and is leagues ahead of Myers in comedic execution here. On the positive side, there is one joke that did make me laugh: Grande's car, which you will have to see to fully appreciate.

There's a musical number in which Myers sings "Surely you're a goddess of love who fills my heart with lugubrious recalcitrance." At least they got lugubrious right, anyway. When the best scene in the film is a rooster attack superimposed over Celine Dion singing you know you're in for a rocky ride.

The film is a big budget flop that lost millions and was hated by critics of every stripe, but it's clear from the sets to the cinematography that no stone was left unturned to try to make a nice looking film here. If only the material hadn't been so utterly wretched.

I would actually rather watch "Freddy Got Fingered" again.

Seriously.


Beavis and Butt-Head Fleece Lounge Pants for men (X-Large)
Beavis and Butt-Head Fleece Lounge Pants for men (X-Large)
Offered by WebUndies
Price: $20.00

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Huh, Huh...They're Like All Snuggly And Warm And Stuff..., November 29, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
If you have ever wanted to have Beavis and Butt-Head's faces all over your pants, here's your chance. These fleece lounge pants are basically oversized fluffy pajama bottoms with a drawstring and pockets. I actually select pajama bottoms specifically for having pockets, and while I normally don't care one way or another about the drawstring, I was glad these had one as they are very generously cut and need to be cinched up for proper fit, at least on me.

They also have a functional fly and I'll let Beavis explain what that's for: "Ummmmm...heh, heh, heh, it's ummmm...ooooooh, yeah, yeah...heh, heh, heh...ummmm...."

Never mind.


Beavis & Butthead: Volume 4
Beavis & Butthead: Volume 4
DVD ~ Beavis & Butt-Head
Price: $9.99
32 used & new from $5.90

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Moments Of Brilliance But Plenty Of "Jersey Shore," Too, November 29, 2014
This review is from: Beavis & Butthead: Volume 4 (DVD)
The boys are back and have plenty of fun in this updated version of the classic MTV series. These episodes are much edgier than the originals and in some cases that works to their advantage, but some storylines feel incomplete. "Holy Cornholio" is a classic example. The Cornholio character is one of the treasures of the series, and the concept of Beavis as Cornholio becoming a cult leader sounds (and is) brilliant; the execution is, however, not quite up to par for the series. The story meanders around with a vast amount of TP being offered up to Beavis, but the comic potential of the situation is never fully realized. Much of the writing is great, even during the endless and frequently boring reality show clips (that are cheap to obtain for MTV) with lines like "Is this Florida?" and "That guy looks like he might be stupider than us," without a moment's self-awareness of how funny those lines are from the boys. These moments are true hallmarks of Mike Judge's series. The cleverest episodes here are "Time Machine" and "Werewolves of Highland," while low points are doubtlessly the utterly misguided "The Rat" (animal cruelty, even if later somewhat redeemed, is not funny,) and an even more appalling atrocity which illustrates the principle that trying to pick up women at an abortion clinic is never funny. Regardless of how an individual feels about that issue I cannot imagine a circumstance under which this would be considered remotely amusing. Ever.

From a purist's standpoint I missed the preponderance of music videos in the earlier shows; the ones this volume had were very funny, and the boys were keenly on point in their commentary about them. The endless bouts of "Jersey Shore" left me feeling profoundly ripped off. Bits and pieces of them with appropriate commentary are somewhat entertaining, but wholesale lifting of long passages from that series (and a couple of other reality shows) grew tedious very quickly. The DVD set does contain a few extras like when Beavis and Butt-Head "call" Snooki (you just can't escape "Jersey Shore" here,) and a 2011 San Diego Comic-Con panel discussion with Mike Judge who discusses, among other things, his degree in physics, his work as an engineer and professional musician, and his animation. Judge is a very smart guy who has made some very smart and funny things for the small (and big) screen: here there are moments of brilliance but there's quite a bit of chaff with the wheat, too. If you're an existing "Beavis and Butt-Head" fan you will like Volume Four; if you are just starting out try the earlier series out first.


Elvira's Haunted Hills
Elvira's Haunted Hills
DVD ~ Elvira
Price: $6.30
33 used & new from $2.29

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Stretching The Premise..., November 29, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Elvira's Haunted Hills (DVD)
I had a difficult time rating "Elvira's Haunted Hills." I am a fan of Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) and a fan of the Corman/Price/Poe films this movie spoofs and pays homage to. My problem with the film is principally that Elvira is great as a hostess or in relatively short linking bits, but the gags wear off rather quickly in a feature length film (and this one is inferior to "Elvira: Mistress of the Dark" from 13 years previous.) I give her full credit for making this as an independent feature and self-financing it; there's no doubt she worked very hard on it as did many others including director Sam Irvin. For cost reasons the film was actually made in Transylvania and the locations do work very well for the film; considering the budget the sets look absolutely amazing and account in large part for the positive visual impression the film makes. The film features "Rocky Horror's" Richard O'Brien in a creepy starring role, as well as some lesser-known actors who all give it their best shot. The problem for me is that the material is wearisome.

The film opens in the Carpathian mountains in 1851 with Elvira and her bungling, unfunny handmaiden Zou Zou (Mary Jo Smith) trying to get to Paris to further Elvira's singing career. Of course they are promptly given a ride to a creepy castle by Dr. Bradley Bradley (Scott Atkinson, and yes that character name gives you just some idea of the hilarity contained in the film.) Opening with great subtlety and nuance with an enormous sausage and foot fetishism, the film proceeds apace through completely expected jokes and situations (Elvira on the rack, etc....oh, my ribs,) to a conclusion that may remind some of "The Pit and the Pendulum," the 1961 Corman classic shot in 15 days which is in all ways the better movie. To be fair, the filmmakers completely acknowledge that this is a tribute to that and other Corman films, so that shouldn't be a surprise. That the spoof wasn't more entertaining is the problem here. (Quick! Can anyone guess what body part of Elvira's gets scratched by the blade of the pendulum? Find out in the extras if you really can't figure it out.) The film closes with an amusing miniature shot of the castle that will remind many of a pivotal scene from "Titanic" in one of the better directorial choices in the film while simultaneously economizing heroically on the special effects bill.

I actually don't have many issues with Irvin's direction, as I don't think a significantly better film could have been made from this script on a $1,000,000 budget. The underlying flaw in the film is that the premise of Elvira's repetitive, bawdy sense of humor is not enough to drive a feature film. As a fan, it pains me to say that, but it really is true. Though there were some funny lines of dialogue in the movie ("Who listens to the Village People anymore?") the film is occasionally amusing, but offers up vast swaths of tedium. The introductory coach ride is as funny as it gets: once in the castle the humor grinds to a halt. The reprise of the coach scene at the end is a nice touch, but frankly nothing here offers any surprises.

Now that I have made my general disappointment clear, I do want to commend Peterson and company for the surprising number of extras included on the DVD. These were in most cases more interesting and entertaining than the film itself (except the brief and pointless outtakes) with the short feature "Transylvania or Bust" being quite captivating. I liked Peterson and Irvin a lot in the extras and hearing their recollection of the trials and tribulations of the production process gave me much more appreciation for the film (and scored the film its second star in my rating.) Peterson is clearly quite intelligent (I didn't expect a catalepsy joke here!) and this was clearly a labor of love for her. I genuinely feel bad for awarding it only two stars, but it just fell short on the comic spoof scale. As much as I did like Irvin and Peterson, I found some of the other cast member interviews highly annoying, particularly Mary Jo Smith who came across as hugely whiny (complaining about a fear of heights, lack of porter service, a long flight in coach, that the winter in Romania was cold, etc.) Maybe she was just having a bad day when the interview was done because she did emphasize how much she enjoyed doing the film, but the complaining got old fast in her interview shots.

"Elvira's Haunted Hills" is a movie with a premise and plot readily apparent to anyone who has seen Elvira once in their lives. I genuinely appreciate that they set out to make a spoof of the old Roger Corman and Vincent Price horror films of yesteryear; I only wish it had been a better movie.


RiffTrax: The Guy From Harlem
RiffTrax: The Guy From Harlem
DVD ~ Mike Nelson
Price: $9.99
2 used & new from $9.99

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wait, What? It's The Guy From Miami? Huh?, November 27, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
"The Guy From Harlem" is the first Blaxploitation film that RiffTrax has ever done, and it's a gem. I've seen plenty of films from this genre (oh how I wish RiffTrax would do "Black Shampoo,") but for just plain terrible acting and the most blown lines per running minute, this film may be the worst they have ever done. I was absolutely astonished by the number of lines that were either never memorized or were totally blown but not reshot. Ed Wood would blanch.

The movie itself involves the Guy From Harlem, Al Connors (Loye Hawkins,) a man who is so good at protection that when an African queen (or princess, or wife of a head of state...I don't know; her title changes about every five minutes) is brought to the country, the CIA, which doesn't feel up to the task, subcontracts her security out to Al. You know Al's the best when you see the orange shag carpet on his floor and the inconspicuous red Cadillac he drives, but he has something of a reputation with the ladies (of course,) so there's that angle going on too. Now you might think that since Al is the Guy From Harlem, that this movie would take place in New York. You can be excused for that bit of naïveté, but it all is set in Miami. (Ponder.) There is a subplot about local mob boss Harry De Bauld's (Steve Gallon) daughter being kidnapped and the film seems to lap itself at some point in all the confusion. Afros and outstanding clothes are on conspicuous display and the dialogue and plot twists are loopy and sometimes almost incomprehensible, but "The Guy From Harlem" delivers big laughs from the RiffTrax crew. Recommended for Blaxploitation, MST3K, or RiffTrax fans everywhere.


RiffTrax: Christmas with Rifftrax Featuring Magic Christmas Tree
RiffTrax: Christmas with Rifftrax Featuring Magic Christmas Tree
DVD ~ Mike Nelson
Price: $9.95

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Merry Christmas From Ichabod The Turtle!, November 27, 2014
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
Oh, wow. Not since the Ice Cream Bunny terrorized young viewers has there been such Christmas mayhem unleashed on unsuspecting viewers. This RiffTrax Christmas DVD must be seen to believed; there are some old commercials that are modestly amusing and a distressing cartoon called "The Shanty Where Santy Claus Lives" (let's just say it couldn't be made today and leave it at that,) and finally the truly odd main feature, "Magic Christmas Tree." "Magic Christmas Tree" is a half black and white, half color feature featuring an unscheduled bout of unconsciousness and a witch (Now where have I seen that before?) framing an almost incoherent plot involving a cat named Lucifer, a turtle named Ichabod (whose onscreen introduction is highly surprising to say the very least,) and an incompetent dad trying to mow the lawn while mom talks to Betty on the phone about nothing at great length. Too bad they used clown horns for topsoil! (Don't ask.) Ichabod munches clover and witchcraft helps kidnap Santa (leading to a rift in time) all because of a meddling and annoying magic Christmas tree. Reading the credits proves entertaining ("Nedra" is one of the voices...,) but in case you missed it, this whole spectacle was brought to you (in an odd square format that I've never seen anywhere else) by the Long Beach Civic Light Opera Association (of all things.)

"Magic Christmas Tree" is timelessly disturbing holiday fodder, and the only Christmas movie able to bridge the gap between meatloaf sandwiches and inexplicable lawnmower accidents. It is an ageless classic that RiffTrax brings to you for the holidays!

Merry Christmas!


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