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The Glass Castle, unabridged, 10 CD set
The Glass Castle, unabridged, 10 CD set
by Jeannette Walls
Edition: Audio CD
17 used & new from $9.64

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Walls Being Transparent, October 27, 2008
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, so it wasn't until I was laying in bed one evening, several months after reading this book, that an idea finally connected in my mind: If you want a book on "How my dysfunctional family overcame our serious problems, and here's how you can too," this is NOT that book.

Jeannette Walls' intent is NOT to try and persuade you she knows how to make the world a better place. Rather, she intimately shows you the good and bad parts of her story growing up. She shows you what the people close to her did. She tries to infer what their thought processes might have been. And she shares her thought processes.

It took several months for my mind to put together this idea: The book's title not only brings attention to her brilliant father's intermittent pursuits to literally build a glass castle (and the effects his focus on that ambitious and likely illusory pursuit had on her family), but also the book itself is a glass castle, giving readers a brutally revealing look at the complex workings of her arguably dysfunctional family members.

Walls does not appear intent on supplying the "answers" to the problems she faced growing up. Instead, she clearly represents the characters, actions, and consequences for readers to make their own observations and evaluations. Walls may have thought her book could be of some benefit to readers who have suffered or are suffering similarly to how she suffered. Walls may believe there can be some benefit in openly publicizing and making transparent many of the things most people hide.

Where I Stood (Album Version)
Where I Stood (Album Version)

5.0 out of 5 stars Attempting To Express Where She Stands, October 25, 2008
Maybe not since Norah Jones' "Don't Know Why" has a song in the U.S. so popularly tapped into a vein of feminine conflicted regret.

This song is not my story. But parts of this song are my story and parts of this song are definitely not. And maybe that's perfectly fitting for such an internally conflicted song.

And as far as I understand, this song is also not the story of anyone I know or have known, but nevertheless I have faith this song is an honest presentation, pulling no punches.

The song is remarkable and uncommon for it's apparent honest admission that another woman could love a former lover better than the woman singing the story of regret. "Cuz, she will love you more than I could. She who dares to stand where I stood." Rarely, has a song been so honest. Most "songs of regret" labor on how the singer believes they were the best ever, and that "best" was lost.

Yet, the song goes on to express enduring and unique affection for the former lover: " 'Cuz I don't know who I am, who I am without you. All I know is that I should. And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you . . . You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all. But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you. This is what I have to do." Those perspectives co-existing in her is one of the many aspects of the song that makes the song unusually poignant and real.

The Alcoholic
The Alcoholic
by Jonathan Ames
Edition: Hardcover
56 used & new from $5.64

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars We Reveal Our Stories By What We Choose Not To Discuss, October 15, 2008
This review is from: The Alcoholic (Hardcover)
This is not a story of redemption.

This is a story of wants. It is a story of self-absorptions. This is a story of living with ongoing addictions: sexual, substance, and self-pleasing.

This is a beautifully drawn graphic novel - a quasi-autobiographical tale of Jonathan Ames, or "Jonathan A" as he is described in the book.

This is not "A Wonderful Life." This is not a classic morality tale where the protagonist makes a tranformational epiphany and changes his behaviors.

This is a story of someone who apparently has difficulty putting the wants or needs of others in balance with his own wants.

This is a story of someone who may have trouble conceding or taking into consideration all of the real consequences to his individual actions.

This is a story of someone who finds value in displaying behaviors most people would prefer to hide.

It's difficult to determine if Jonathan A has remorse or repentance. If he does, he is not eager to make it as visible as he is eager to make visible his supposed "sins."

The graphic novel's visual storytelling is efficient and effective. There is no lack of clarity in conveying the author's intent through the artist's illustrations. The draftsmanship and professionalism of the artist Dean Haspiel is highly admirable.

Why are people so fascinated with illustrations of debauchery and cruelty? This concept is nothing new. Consider the 18th Century artist William Hogarth's incredibly good and informative serialized illustrations. His illustrations came to mind while I was considering this book.

Is it as important to study and see the "sinners" as it is to study and see the "saints?"

For all of Jonathan A's exhibitionism of his "weaknesses," it's interesting to consider what he chooses not to discuss about his potential faults. In this graphic novel, he speaks fondly of all of his ex's, but he never takes the time (at least in this graphic novel) to as plainly concede his own traits, traits that several of his ex's may have objected to in common.

His remorse appears to be more: "I'm sorry I was not good enough for you, or not what you wanted." His remorse does not appear to be: "I'm sorry I was unwilling to make many of the significant changes that would have been needed to become a person with whom you could rely on and happily co-exist with."

What we don't see much of in the novel are admissions by Jonathan A that it wasn't just "a blond hair on the pillow" that led to his loves leaving him. More realistically, his loves probably regularly saw many of his patterns that would have been consistently detrimental to being in a trusting and depending long-term relationship. And in this story, Jonathan A probably chose not to more honestly tell the order of events in clear ways that would show what were the more likely substantive and causal reasons for his past lovers leaving.

It's one thing for a person to say: "I'm an alcoholic," or "I like to do things my own way," or "I like cocaine." But it would be more honest, intelligent, and telling for an addict to say plainly: "I like each of these things more than the loves I lost." Jonathan A does not take the time to say the latter through dialogue. But his actions, his visual narrative, and the illustrator's excellent work could imply it. It is not a clear implication, and I don't know if the latter is true, but it is an important question to ask in a memoir that focuses so much on "relationships lost."

Such an admission would be more honest than Jonathan A's repeated recollections of: I was abandoned, and I never really received a very good explanation why.

For anyone who has loved an addict, someone who loved an inconsiderate or self-destructive habit more than they loved the people closest to them, there is less admiration for an addict's notorious display of the consequences of their selfish decisions, warts and all. I'm a strong proponent of self-admission of faults, but more so when the admissions are fully honest.

I admire this graphic novel as a work of art. I admire the illustrator Dean Haspiel far more than I admire the writer, but I admire them both. I cannot fault the book's quality simply because I disagree with the life choices of the autobiographer.

Even exhibitionists can hide certain faults. And in reading any autobiography, a reader can learn as much about the person by what the author clearly avoids discussing.

I can sympathize with Jonathan's longings for many of his past loves. And Jonathan paints each of them mostly with positive strokes. But Jonathan never faces the more significant question of: If that person came back into my life, would I be willing to do the many things they would want from another person in a long term relationship? I think Jonathan's answer to that question is knowingly, but not easily: "No."

Another potential omission is Jonathan A's apparently deficient ability to empathize with his lovers, his parents, and his relatives. But I'm not sure if Jonathan A even knows he may have underdeveloped abilities to empathize. So it's difficult for me to fault him for what he may not realize and for what he may have a natural inability for. Additionally, the alcohol and drugs may further deter his abilities and inclinations to empathize.

Therefore, I found little laughter in his follies. Yet I can still empathize with his losses.

This is still a great graphic novel. It doesn't set out to "teach something" through what it says, but it still teaches volumes to anyone smart enough to read into all the things the author chose not to dialogue.

Some people are addicts because, after all their experience and analysis, they still prefer the feedback they receive from their addictive habits. Some people are addicts because they cannot overcome the chemical, mental, and physical draws of their addictions. But part of the trouble is that it is almost impossible to decipher one addictive drive from the other, and the drives often exist simultaneously.

I give this graphic novel 5 out of 5 stars for all of the things this graphic novel does extremely well.

This book is potentially honest. But a more important and revealing question is: For all of the story's candor, what is still being omitted and unaddressed? And if the novel had faced and discussed those more operative concerns, I would have liked it even more.

Private Property
Private Property
DVD ~  Jérémie Renier and Yannick Renier Isabelle Huppert
Offered by newbury_comics
Price: $15.04
11 used & new from $3.79

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Long Day's Journey Into The Next Day, October 10, 2008
This review is from: Private Property (DVD)
This film presents this premise:

We choose many of our confinements.

Modern men and women have amazingly broad discretion to choose how we confine ourselves.

We choose the conditions under which we live.

The film starts off with a brief phrase, written in white against the black screen:

"A nos limites."

Translated: "To our boundaries."

The first scene is of a middle aged mother looking in the mirror at her shape in a new camisole. She is assessing if she is still visually attractive. We don't know it yet, but she is also asking herself if she should attempt a new path into a new relationship.

She is a single mother raising her two sons, who are now both young adults, but still live in the house they grew up in. Their father, who lost the house in the divorce settlement, and who always hoped the house would go to the boys, still lives in the same city and stops by occasionally to give the boys money.

Neither son pursues work, and both depend completely on their parents for financial support.

As the plot progresses, the conflicts of interest increase between the sons, who wish to stay and live an easy life in their parents' home, and their mother who would like to sell the home and go off to start a new life running a bed & breakfast.

Eventually, the mother receives more abuse from her sons than she can bear, so she leaves them in the house alone to live with each other.

The movie explores this question: What environments do your actions create for the people who live with you and depend on you?

I titled this review after O'Neill's famous play because of the movie's candid scenes of brutal verbal family fights. This film is focused on the question of: How do our actions of today effect the reality of our tomorrow? If we keep in the same patterns, will similar reality continue around us? This film is about real life and the cycles of daily life.

The sons become excessively inconsiderate and selfish, and in doing so, constrain their mother terribly, to the point she abandons them to fend for themselves. She can no longer carry them and live happily.

The movie suggests how we treat our "enemies," the people with whom we have strong conflicts of interest, probably says as much or more about us as how we treat the people we care about and with whom we are not in conflict. If you want to know someone more fully, investigate how they have treated their enemies and the people from their previous relationships.

The mother tries to venture off into a new life with a new love, but feels dutifully obligated to take care of her dysfunctional sons. She falls in love with a local chef who lives next door. Maybe more accurately, she falls in love with the world the chef creates with her when they are in each other's company. When we stay in a love relationship with someone, the love is not simply about how we interact and are drawn to the other person. Over time, the love thrives because we fall in love with the environments we create in each other's homes, activities, and social circles. We don't just fall in love with the person, we fall in love with the world they've created around them in the company of their familiars.

But the mother's new lover cannot abide the short-sightedness of her sons, and he chooses to step away until she deals with their behaviors.

I won't give away the final plot events, except to say the insensitivity and poor conflict-resolution-methods of the sons lead to a tragedy. The filmmakers intentionally do not define the tragic results, leaving the viewer with the intended question of:

Would would be worse? Would it be worse if the daily patterns and environments you create led to great harm of someone close to you? Or would it be worse if your actions effectively paralyzed others you depend on, limiting what they could do? How might your responses to conflict harm or limit the people closest to you?

The film is an exploration of boundaries, limits, and confinements.

Our lives are not determined by whether we "exceed" our limits or "stay within" our limits.

Our lives are determined by what we do with the limits we have, the limits we create, and the limits we choose.

Life is not limitless. There are many boundaries to many things. Some are chosen for us. Many we choose ourselves.

We are defined by what we do with the many limits surrounding us.

Those decisions determine the breadth and environments of our privately selected properties.

This is an excellent film, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 6, 2009 9:32 PM PST

51 Birch Street
51 Birch Street
DVD ~ Carol Block
28 used & new from $14.90

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Beauty of Imperfections and Adaptations, September 19, 2008
This review is from: 51 Birch Street (DVD)
The film, both internally and in its marketing, foreshadows that the story will reveal hidden scandals. But the movie turns out to NOT be focused on the question of: What hidden and extraordinary scandals lurk behind this unassuming exterior? Instead, the movie's themes focus on common marital problems and patterns from that era, an era where loyalty to marriage was considered a far higher ideal than finding individual answers or fulfilments to key personal, intimate, and social areas of life.

The film reveals that neither the father or mother (the parents of the nuclear family observed in the film) were able to find fulfilment in key important areas of their lives. The film suggests their marriage and their specific social chemistry and interactions did not sufficiently help them find, achieve, or satisfy primary and different drives they each had.

The movie seems to support this premise: There are some couples, who no matter how long or hard they try, have trouble meeting each others' needs. And comparatively, there are some couples who seem to amazingly easily be able to meet each others' needs. Whether this premise is generally true or not remains open to debate. But the couples in this film seem to provide an example of how some couples can improve each others' worlds much easier than others.

While the movie suggests both the mother and father participated in different kinds of extensive individual therapy. Interestingly, I don't recall anyone recounting in the film that the couple did significant couples' therapy together.

I wish the mother had been given equal opportunity to give retrospective evaluations of the perspectives asserted by the father and children. While we get to observe her answers to some broad retrospective questions and we get some narration from her diary, she is not able to give equally "final" and evaluative conclusions about the totality of the circumstances. But, of course, due to circumstances clear to anyone who has seen the film, she is not able to give equally thorough retrospective commentary.

Most people who watch this film will end up admiring and caring for the father, Mike. And while I am part of the crowd who admires much of what he does in the film to transform his life after becoming a widower, I am probably in a minority in being critical of some of the things he said. I have trouble with his apparently honest revelation that when asked if he misses Mina, his wife of 50+ years, his clear reply is that he does not miss her. My general belief is that if another human being gives you daily care and service for 50 or more years, whether or not the two of you hit it off on all cylinders, you should have a more tactful reply than "I don't miss her."

Also, the choice of "Only You" at the second wedding, less than a year after his wife's death, seems insensitive to the children and his deceased wife, even if the sentiment was truly felt.

But in his defense, he may have re-phrased his answer and music choices if he'd known his actions and words were going to be distributed in a major motion picture. Nobody's perfect. And he is humble and does not suggest he was ideal for what Mina wanted. Also, a wordsmith he does not pretend to be. I do prefer his honesty. I am still so happy for him and Kitty in the transformational choices they make to change the direction of the rest of their lives.

I left the film having as much empathy for Mina's unfulfilments as I did Mike's. I wish both of them could have found better solutions, either together or apart, many years ago. I am a child who grew up in a home where my mother was not given emotional fulfilment by my father, so I can easily understand how a woman in those circumstances could choose to "survive" by living the majority of her life as both emotionally guarded, cynical, and less inclined toward romanticism toward such a husband.

I recommend watching the "afterwards" extras on the DVD that give each main character the opportunity to reflect further on the assertions and opinions expressed in the film.

If you read many of the other reviews here on Amazon, the word "universal" appears often. It is a term that is sometimes overused or too easily given as a positive attribute to a story. But the term is perfect for this film. The film, and the family, succeed because almost everyone watching probably has lived in close proximity or been in a relationship where similar chemistry issues effected decades of their lives. This is an incredibly good film that teaches universal and important lessons. I want to personally thank each member of the family for giving the world such an intimate and honest portrait of the reality and imperfections of real marriages, real problematic chemistries, and real adaptations.

The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness
The Spiral Staircase: My Climb Out of Darkness
by Karen Armstrong
Edition: Paperback
Price: $11.71
345 used & new from $0.01

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An Extraordinary Collection of Compared and Clearly Expressed Thoughts, September 3, 2008
This book is a beautiful act of compassion for other women and men who, like Karen Armstrong, have struggled with doubts, conforming to religions, and other related "failures." The book provides alternate, thoughtful, and understandable means of interpreting and expressing hopes and faiths. Thank you Karen for writing down your thoughts and helping many of us who have struggled with so many of the same issues you have studied.

The Bridge
The Bridge
DVD ~ Eric Geleynse
Price: $59.99
13 used & new from $11.68

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Film About Understanding More Perspectives About Suicide, Depression, and Mental Illnesses, September 1, 2008
This review is from: The Bridge (DVD)
Usually, when I give a film 5 out of 5 stars, it is because I not only think highly of the film, but I also want more people to see it.

In this case, I'm not necessarily encouraging more people to see this film. But at the same time, this is an exceptionally informative film that was created with a great deal of care, patience, and sensitivity.

This is a multiple viewpoint film with dialogues from people closely involved with friends or relatives who killed themselves by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. The discussions are informed, but not necessarily expert. The opinions are earnest and well-meaning, but not necessarily good advice. But observing and questioning the narratives could be a valuable exercise for some who have ever struggled with the related issues.

I want to personally thank all the filmmakers involved who worked so hard to create this film.

Wall-E (Single-Disc Edition)
Wall-E (Single-Disc Edition)
DVD ~ Ben Burtt
Price: $11.75
61 used & new from $4.97

19 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Some Of Us Are Better Now Because We Have Been Broken, We Have Fallen Apart, And We Have Been Repaired So Many Times In Our Past, August 16, 2008
This review is from: Wall-E (Single-Disc Edition) (DVD)
Sometimes we learn to repair ourselves.

Sometimes it takes external forces to repair us.

I didn't expect to cry while watching Pixar's new film "WALL-E" today, but I did a couple times. Pixar continues to keep making great films. I give it 5 out of 5 stars.

Here are some of the ideas I implied from watching it:

We're defined by the memories we keep and the memories we share with others.

Some of our greatest assets are the memories we save and share.

Some of the best parts of us are things we have not created by ourselves.

Some of the best parts of us are the quality recycled parts of others that we've gathered along the way and incorporated into ourselves.

You could live in the best place in the universe, but if you are alone, you are alone.

You could live in the worst place in the universe, but if you are with others working with you, you can create the best of worlds.

We are defined by who we've allowed to hold our hand.

We are defined by those who have chosen to stay beside us during difficult times.

For many of us, our primary directive is not simply to pursue promoting a purpose or a place, but also to promote the pleasures of people close to us and in our community.


Stepping back and looking at the broader metaphors and themes of the primary characters in this story:

Wall-E was a robot programmed and built to gather everyone else's garbage by consuming it, taking it inside himself, then compacting it into a smaller box. With such a narrow build design and purpose, most, if not all of the other Wall-E robots fell apart and ceased to exist. Seeing the arc of their existence as simple garbage collectors who then shaped their refuse blocks in to orderly piles and walls (hence the name "Wall-E"), the Wall-E droids eventually died off as they stayed within their initially programmed purpose and did not learn to adapt and repair themselves.

Wall-E, at some point in his existence, took on broader purposes and followed his curiosities, becoming a collector of the best parts of whatever he admired in what others had thrown away or left behind. He found value in what others considered worthless and disposable. And instead of following his programmed directives and crushing everything he encountered into smaller boxes for disposal, he decided to separate out and save any items he encountered that showed signs of caring and ingenuity.

Instead of simply gathering and breaking things down into smaller and uniform boxes to fashion larger groups of boxes and boundaries, the cognitive breakthrough Wall-E discovered was this: He could do more than simply box and compartmentalize. Instead of simply following his basic programming, he instead taught himself how to filter and preserve. He taught himself how to create new and functional items from what others considered to be old and disposable.

In a world of loneliness, he became a preserver of the best qualities of cleverness, engineering, resilience, and love. He collected fire, color, song, self-growing plants, indominable bugs, costumes, shiny objects, puzzles, dance, imagery, and everything else that might someday help others to recreate a new and beautiful world out of the world he knew was dying around him . . .

. . .a world he knew he could not rebuild better alone and on his own.

Wall-E realized he too would crumble and become disposed if he did not regularly re-create parts of himself, protect himself, and protect the best parts of others he discovered along the way.

Eve, a representation of feminine intelligence, power, determination, investigativeness, nurturing, and creation, comes along looking for signs of healthy and natural life. When she finds it, she takes it inside herself, protects it inside of her with a hardened and narrow resolve, like an egg shell around a growing embryo.

The intelligence of both characters is revealed as they adapt to the needs of everyone around them and take on more and broader purposes than the simpler and basic purposes for which they were originally programmed and designed.
Comment Comments (8) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 8, 2014 11:33 AM PDT

Looking for Cheyenne
Looking for Cheyenne
DVD ~ Mila Dekker
Price: $24.98
14 used & new from $4.48

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Looking For Reasons To Believe In Love, August 15, 2008
This review is from: Looking for Cheyenne (DVD)
This is a lovely French film about a bisexual woman's search for love. She is uncertain if love exists and uncertain if love is worth pursuing. This is a very smart film that asks difficult and worthwhile questions.

For anyone who has ever doubted whether love is worth the chase, this movie continues that provocative debate.

Love may not be defined by how much we are willing to reconsider and change ourselves, but this movie supports the idea that little love exists without a willingness to consider change.

This is a sophisticated date film that is ideal for watching with popcorn, a comfortable blanket, a private setting, and someone you love.

No Title Available

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What Places In A Bride's Head Keep Being Revisited?, August 9, 2008
Lovers of the original novel and the famous 1981 British Television Mini-Series starring, among others, Jeremy Irons, Sir John Gielgud, and Sir Lawrence Olivier may enjoy advocating that the other versions of the story are better. And to those arguments, I will happily concede. Nevertheless, this latest 2008 film version is exceptionally good.

While the world was all focused on World War II, Arthur Evelyn St. John Waugh chose to spend his time writing this story in 1944, a story about boundaries and priorities in love relationships - boundaries between mothers and children, between family and non-family, between husbands and wives, between spouses and lovers, between social classes, between religions, and between ideologies.

It is a story about the relationship between religion (Catholicism more specifically) and guilt. The story repeatedly, in each of the main character relationships, asks this type of question:

What philosophical priorities, religious or otherwise, would you put above your love for someone close to you? The sophisticated examination of those ideological priorities in the story's characters' relationships is fascinating and revealing.

The full title of the original book is telling of the author's likely intents:

Brideshead Revisited, The Sacred & Profane Memories of Captain Charles Ryder

This novel is an examination of social, cultural and religious structures, hierarchies, and "trumping" considerations. The word "profane" has several definitions, but generally it means non-religious, or non-sacred (not subordinating to religious precepts). The movie (probably even more than the original novel) attempts to portray a sympathetic portrait of the profane considerations, more than the sacred ones.

I don't know if this screenplay is close to the original novel in plot or emphasis. And while I do care about that question, I don't choose to critique a movie solely because it deviates from its source material. I loved Emma Thompson's Sense & Sensibility and that movie deviated liberally from the book.

This movie is aimed at breaking every empathetic viewer's heart in one way or another - not out of malice, but rather to emphasize the social conflicts which not only effected middle 20th century culture, but also still effect modern culture.

At the same time, the movie is very funny. The acting is executed with exceptional social awareness and sharp pitch. The direction is marvelous. The set lighting and underlit dark interiors create consistent and apropos emotional environments. The hand-held camera techniques are well-done and timely, breaking out of more common static camera expectations associated with other BBC productions. The costuming is lovely. The musical score is first rate, not overbearing, melodramatic, nor distracting.

Emma Thompson is excellent, playing a character with sufficient power and resolve to blind herself to any critiques.

Matthew Goode plays Charles Ryder superbly. Other actors would have tried to have been the center of each of Charles Ryder's scenes (he is the "lead" role). But Goode makes the superb choice to play a character who is the eyes of the story more than the focus of the story. That acting (and directing) choice is consistent with Charles Ryder's character. Ryder expresses early on in the movie that he intends to be an artist who reveals the emotional context in what he sees around him.

Hayley Atwell and Ben Whishaw, who play Julia and Sebastian Flyte, also make excellent and informed acting choices. Atwell displays understated conflicts between passion, duty, religion, and love. She is neither a pawn nor a queen. She knows the consequences of the choices she makes, but still chooses them. Whishaw plays the correct tone for his character. He is neither too flamboyant nor too charismatic. Yet clearly, he has lived a lifetime of suppression - being madly in love with people and things he knows will always be unrequited toward him.

I will buy this movie when it becomes available on DVD. And I look forward to studying it repeatedly. I thank all the people who worked so hard to create this film. I love this film.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Sep 12, 2008 12:28 AM PDT

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