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Customer Reviews: 174
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Funko POP Games: Fallout - #49: Power Armor
Funko POP Games: Fallout - #49: Power Armor
Price: $10.99
34 used & new from $6.77

5.0 out of 5 stars My desk is adorned with funny toys and being a fan of the fallout series ..., January 21, 2016
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
I'm a college educated, 36 year old child, period. My desk is adorned with funny toys and being a fan of the fallout series of course this one and dogmeat were on my order list.

He's awesome, totally, awesome.


She Wolf Rising
She Wolf Rising
DVD
Price: $3.99

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Damaging to humanity, January 21, 2016
This review is from: She Wolf Rising (Amazon Video)
Oh my god, do not, DO NOT rely on the other reviews if you're bored and looking for something cheesy to blow a bottle of wine over. My wife loves B rate horror flicks, LOVES them, I hate them. WE BOTH LOATHED this movie. "Stupid" doesn't even cover it when trying to explain how banal the plot is, the acting is so third rate if it got any worse the negative volume of things I could say about it would eventually become so sarcastically dense eventually a comment would cause the entire intellectual structure to fold in on itself and tear a hole in the very fabric of the universe collapsing the earth into a black hole, which would be a good thing, because with humanity eradicated no one could ever make a movie like this again.

The special effect are all done in adobe after effects, a friend of mine's band shot a music video rife with blood splatter and gun shots using it last year, the work was done by the drummer's little brother who was a first year graphics student at their local community college and this jumble of garbage makes their video look like a big budget MTV production. I'm not saying you shouldn't watch this movie and judge it for yourself, I'm telling you that if you watch this movie after reading this review you're encroaching on the DSM V's definition of self harm and might need to see a therapist.


Heist
Heist
DVD
Price: $3.99

4.0 out of 5 stars it's entertaining enough trash to change a dull Friday night inside into an hour of acceptable shared ..., January 21, 2016
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Heist (Amazon Video)
Heist is straight up trash, don't go into it expecting anything more.

That said, it's entertaining enough trash to change a dull Friday night inside into an hour of acceptable shared viewing over a few drinks with a partner you like.

There's no real plot to discuss, and the movie doesn't deserve an "in depth review". Some guys rob a casino, one of them used to work for the boss in a criminal capacity, the boss is a jerk with cancer, mortality has made him examine his life. Along the way shenanigans ensure, Bautista is crazy, the copy lady is pretty, Rob D has fallen far from the pedestal he once stood on in Hollywood, but I don't blame him for taking the role, I'm sure the movie was a breeze to make and the script isn't abhorrent.

The end.


The Last Witch Hunter
The Last Witch Hunter
DVD
Price: $14.99

0 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I don't pretend to understand what other people like when it comes to entertainment, January 21, 2016
"The Last Witch Hunter" will also hopefully be "The Last Witch Hunter movie in this franchise".

I don't pretend to understand what other people like when it comes to entertainment, I don't have a foot fetish, if you do, you're likely to visit far different sites than I do when you're looking for stimulation of the genital kind, and rate what you see differently. With that said, if you're into girl on girl, this is "mature housewives do young housemaids". It's close to your liking, you're willing to give it a shot, but it's awkward, because the pieces don't fit together well if you have an established expectation of "good times" when it comes to entertainment.

Vin Diesel... The dude has always looked like a slightly retarded big toe to me, he isn't a great actor, he's a "fun actor" most of the time, as his borderline down syndrome face twists up screaming and oddly disproportionate body struggles to be intimidating.

The Last Witch Hunter is a movie that could have been really fun, but it devolves into something so silly it's hard to pay attention to by half way through it. Diesel plays an immortal witch Hunter in a plot so translucent if you haven't figured the entire thing and know how it's going to end by the first 20 minutes, you're the kind of simpleton I'm not surprised hit the movie with 4-5 stars, and you were probably yelling so excitedly spittle was dripping from your special needs lips while he was waving around his baby sword at the end... Which was one of the stupidest endings I've ever had to endure.

The effects are beautiful, some of the characters aren't totally boring, and a line or two made me almost chuckle... But all and all, this "movie" is just a really boring rendition of "The Dresden Files" (My daughter's furby even fell asleep).
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 23, 2016 5:51 AM PST


Interstellar
Interstellar
DVD
Price: $14.99

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow. Just... "Wow"., December 21, 2015
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Interstellar (Amazon Video)
Okay, so let me start saying I would have never watched this if it wasn't for my wife. Not because I'd heard anything negative, in fact, I hadn't heard anything at all. But a name like "Interstellar" coupled with the apocalyptic visage of a snowy background and McConaughey in a space suit isn't the king of poster shot that makes me think "word, that's going to be my speed."

I was wrong.

First off, Interstellar is an impossible movie to describe simplistically. It starts slow, and seems almost banal at first. "Oh my god, they're on a farm, everyone is wearing dirty things, their truck is beat up, what could possibly make this interesting..." However, if you're paying attention you get an even more boring premise thrown at you... There's this thing called "blight", and it's killing all the world's plants. While that is a scary premise, it's like "What? Blight? Call the Wardens, there are some Darkspawn in need of a serious spanking... Or better yet, call those little fellows full of drink and merriment that helped that other little fellow meet a guy on a boat that kills a dragon and all that, they seemed pretty capable of handling "blighty things"." I kept walking out of the room to get another beer when the one I was holding was half full.

At one point my wife even said "I'm not sure what's going on here?" To which I replied "there is some micro-organism that is killing off the world's crops and plants, which is eventually going to lead to starvation, then suffocation of those who don't starve due to the atmosphere becoming too nitrogen rich to sustain oxygen based life forms. Erry'body done lost they minds." She responded "Wow, you haven't even been in the room for the last hour, how did you get all that?" The truth is that it was that generic, I heard "blight", "starvation", and logically inferred "suffocation" even though I wasn't present for that part of the plot delivery.

When I returned, there was a dust storm, lines of sand on the floor, and suddenly McConaughey racing down a dirt trail while simultaneously coming to realize his daughter had stowed away for the ride even after he had emphatically told her not to do so. I was becoming more bored by the minute. Then there was this stupid looking rectangle shaped robot, running it's... speaker... to McConaughey and I let out an audible sigh. Which irritated the wife, and I explained her feelings of irritation with my complete lack of engagement didn't even compare to how much I'd rather be removing all my body hair with tweezers instead of watching this movie.

When McConaughey meets the now underground NASA board, I was ready to pass out in the chair. Then I heard Michael Caine explaining the true gravity of their situation, and the word "wormhole" made my eyebrow twitch. I took 3 astronomy courses as electives because they read as physics classes on your transcript, I also took physics and biology, because I'm a genuine science guy. So when I hear stuff like that in movies I engage for all the wrong reasons, I'm ready to tear a movie apart for trying to present itself as intellectually and educationally stimulation while getting everything wrong.

This is where the five star part of the movie comes in, what happens after this long, slow intro, is some of the most incredible science fiction writing I've seen in a movie to date. The planets visited are interesting, the distortion of time due to the relativity principles attributed the reality warping effects of black holes and massive, dense planetary bodies is handled so well I was suddenly gripped by the material. Suddenly the boring robot designs make sense as you realize that they are not simply rectangular metal construct that walk like retarded apes, they're actually seamlessly machined constructs of multiple rectangular panels that can be manipulated to great versatility, and the AI's are believable. TARS was one of my favorite characters.

There are things you'll just know are going to happen, it drives my wife crazy when I start calling movie happenings out the minute a arch is activated, and I'm usually doing it because the material is so transparent I have to pick at it to relieve my own discomfort at how unimaginative something is, I honestly do start declaring myself a "Great Prophet" in these moments. Here it was more "holy ish, if this is this way, and that is that way, there is no scientifically/logically sound way for it to deviate into another path, this is what HAS to happen. The introduction of Damon's character, is handled so well that knowing what was going to happen from the minute they woke him up, made the movie feel more real. Because what he does is what psychology tells us he would most likely do, if he were a human being actually in his position. Though, the portion about the mission actually being about the continuation of the species makes little sense given the world was still full of very bright people they could have send out on a colony vessel if that where the actual intention, and I had a hard time not pointing out that NASA at this moment, knows sending out a single person, would cause detrimental psychological reactions in the long run to any participants aboard a ship in the long run. Isolation is NOT a friend to the human psyche.

That said, moving into the closing act, I was literally in aw at how amazingly well the entire thing was handled. The "beings of 5 dimension" muck they'd been running to that point felt like a half baked stab at string theory, but suddenly you're thrust into a beautifully handled representation of Einsteins theoretical model asserting that time is not linear, at all, to the point that "relativity" doesn't even cover it, and that if you can place yourself in the right quantum space, you would be literally, everywhere, all the time, at once.

I'll leave it at that.

If you've read this far into my borderline rambling review, take my word for it, watch this movie. And go into it expecting to be so thoroughly intellectually engaged and stimulated that your IQ will receive a temporary positive adjustment.


Criminal Activities
Criminal Activities
DVD
Price: $6.99

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars but still manages to be kind of fun due to the actors, December 11, 2015
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Criminal Activities (Amazon Video)
/sigh

What do I say about this, it's a plagiarism patchwork that's unapologetic and sloppy, but still manages to be kind of fun due to the actors.

The movie is one part Suicide Kinds, one part Boondock flair, one part oceans 11, and all stupid. There are stolen quotes and scenarios everywhere, the plot is a Frankenstein abomination that will leave you trying to figure out where to start in unraveling all the poorly pilfered ideas and commentary, but Travolta is affable as always and by the time the credits role you wonder if you regret seeing the movie, and most likely settle on "I could have wasted 4$ in a worse way."

My wife laughed a bunch, said it was a good enough movie, I reminded myself the divorce papers in the safe are for emergency only. In the end her smiling made it all okay. I can't suggest this movie though, I just can't, it's terrible. If I could do it all over again I would have just watched something I'd already seen a hundred times for the sake of passing time.


The Equalizer
The Equalizer
DVD
Price: $13.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A great action flick., December 11, 2015
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Equalizer (Amazon Video)
I don't write long reviews for two reasons, most movies don't warrant them, and other people think highly enough of their opinions they cover that niche well enough there is no need for me to contribute.

I only point that out because I'd like to write a long review here and detail just how incredible I found this movie, especially for the genre it hails from. Action movies are an interesting breed, they can be engaging, from any number of perspectives, but ultimately the question is "what was the body count?" The Equalizer, is in my opinion, one of those rare action flicks that engages you on multiple levels. Denzel's character is as deep as he needs to be, you get the point, he was a bad man for the Government for a long time, he's a little older now, he's suffered some personal tragedy, and he's just trying to live a quiet life forgetting all that. But, sometimes you are faced with a situation you can't ignore, because you're the only one that cares enough to fix it.

That's the point here.

I really found it very interesting, because it's essentially a tale about how heroes never really quit being heroes, and the worst of us can use our experiences to the betterment of the world. Nearly every action film you see, is the young guy, fresh out of the academy, saving the world and winning the girl. Denzel's character I think is obviously that guy from many other movies, but 20-30 years later. After he got the girl, after he saved the world, after he was tired, after she died, after he just wanted to melt into obscurity. But the right situation calls him out again, he might not be the guy that saves the world anymore, but dismantling a single organization? Yeah, he can do that. And make it wonderfully entertaining.

I highly suggest this film, I'm usually super smitten with action films, and tend to rate really good ones in the 3-4 star category depending on whether or not the selling point was combat or explosions. This has both of those, on top of great characters (who could have honestly used a little more depth, I would have liked it if they'd explained some of the Russian culture displayed on Teddy) and a lot of very concise, to the point violence, displayed by both the protagonist, and the antagonist, in ways that further display who they are.

Order some pizza, some drinks, get a pretty woman to hang out with you, and watch this on a low key Friday night for full effect.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 20, 2015 11:18 AM PST


True Grit (2010)
True Grit (2010)
DVD
Price: $7.99

5.0 out of 5 stars The original was great, this remake is phenomenal, December 11, 2015
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: True Grit (2010) (Amazon Video)
The original was great, this remake is phenomenal, though I'm not a fan of the borderline pedophilic feel to Damon's character, I love this flick. It's touching, it's gritty, it's one of Bridges more entertaining performances.


Bone Tomahawk
Bone Tomahawk
DVD
Price: $3.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars This is a great little movie, December 11, 2015
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Bone Tomahawk (Amazon Video)
This is a great little movie. It's slow, but character driven, we stayed engaged all the way through the trek, then the violence starts, and wow, it gets lovingly fast and brutal quickly. While I think more time could have been spent developing the lore of the tribe, especially given the Carpenter-esque feel to them, it was oddly fitting you know so little about them. They kept to themselves, no one knew who or what they were, then they were provoked, there was hell to pay, then it was over. Feels very much like an actual life event in that way.


8 Films To Die For: Unnatural
8 Films To Die For: Unnatural
DVD
Price: $2.99

4.0 out of 5 stars This was a pleasant B rate wannabe enviro-horror film. ..., December 11, 2015
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This was a pleasant B rate wannabe enviro-horror film. It's not too much, not too little, the bear effects were decent and who doesn't want to see a snowmobile turned into a weapon of bear destruction?


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