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Profile for M. Tsao > Reviews


M. Tsao's Profile

Customer Reviews: 18
Top Reviewer Ranking: 40,553,808
Helpful Votes: 102

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M. Tsao "gingerpig" RSS Feed (USA)

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ParaNorman (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy + UltraViolet)
ParaNorman (Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy + UltraViolet)
DVD ~ Kodi Smit-McPhee
Price: $7.99
75 used & new from $1.70

8 of 40 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Incredible animation - Worst dialogue ever!, December 29, 2012
This movie is so bad, no person of any age should have to watch it.

Norman talks with the slur of a coward/ wimp that never seems to gain confidence as the movie progresses. Even if you didn't expect it to, it's plain annoying and hard to understand.

Horrid voice acting aside, the dialogue is so stupid that it's mind numbingly painful. **spoiler** Norman says he's the only one that should talk to the witch for the first hour of the movie and when he gets to her, he doesn't know what to say. He sputters some crap about them being similar (without ever mentioning what... being able to talk to ghosts i know) and the witch responds that their different because he's a guy. I mean this scene is supposed to be the climax. Instead they utter nonsense.

The jock is supposed to be a moron, not a vegetable. You can't have a character that doesn't embody any stereotypes. The fat kids jock brother literally IS less intelligent than the zombies in this movie.

The movie has no moral. The witch was killed and Norman tells her that it's not cool to hurt other people. 300 years later of a curse later, she suddenly realizes this and goes to heaven happy... Where's the revelation, puzzle solving, or heart warming speech that satisfies the viewers??

Literally, you need to fill in the blanks for yourself because the movie never explains itself.

Also, the other reviews are right to say there are a ton of sexual innuendos. Many of which belong in Family Guy or Adult Swim.

The only plus is... the animation team is top notch. God like! Visual orgasm ruined by stupid dialogue and an overall terrible story that doesn't develop much.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 7, 2013 1:04 PM PST

Lollipop Chainsaw - Xbox 360
Lollipop Chainsaw - Xbox 360
Offered by DealTavern
Price: $13.99
60 used & new from $7.45

4.0 out of 5 stars Starling is the Star for Zombie Slayers!, August 15, 2012
Sooo, I picked up this game to pass time until Borderlands 2. I don't get to play long games these days, so 20 hours and less are the ones I generally stick to.

Lollipop Chainsaw is a lot fun, not just because of the sex appeal. But since that's why I got it, let's start there. Juliet is super sexy, as far as 3D rendered polygons and personalities go. The costumes you unlock from getting platinum coins are arousing to the mind, especially since the cut-scenes are masterfully made to go with Juliet's stripper body language. Her voice (American) is also very well acted. Pretty much how you expect a blonde bimbo cheerleader to sound. But by no means is it annoying, but is jubilant and cheers you up.

The gameplay is lots of fun. There's not much depth, since you got normal zombies, super zombies, flying zombies, and flinging zombies. But the moves you unlock through the shop has really cool combinations you can shred your enemies with. It's easy to execute, but no Devil May Cry complexity. Still good fun though. Plenty of minigames scattered throughout the levels that change the pace and difficulty. I played it on easy and normal.... well hard is actually very hard, so not a walk through the park. The boss fights are admittedly easy and I never died once (on easy).

The graphics are amazing for Juliet's character model. The other textures and buildings are a big ragged and explosions don't look superb. The bosses look great too.

Some people say don't take it seriously... well obviously. All I can say here is that there is hilarious dialogue between Juliet's crazy zombie hunting family and Nick. Plenty of sexual innuendo and fresh jokes. Good writing here in terms of humor!

So the bottom line is that I had fun with Lollipop Chainsaw. It's a great romp through a bloody humorous and sexy zombie world with Juliet Starling. There's replay value, to get all the costumes and upgrades. Each level also lasts an hour at the least, so there is no brevity issue

Buy it to see Juliet work her fine ass on saving the world from the Zombie Apocalypse!

Cold Steel Medieval Training Sword Waister with Polypropylene
Cold Steel Medieval Training Sword Waister with Polypropylene
Price: $21.99
52 used & new from $21.99

5.0 out of 5 stars Sturdy enough for some hardcore LARPers... also to break fingers, August 5, 2012
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
Great sword and very sturdy.

I have 2 300 shields and I've been battling with my friend. The sword clashing with each other feels right and the sword maintains its shape. The shield however cut grooves deep into it, so I would avoid using this on metal shields with sharp edges.

Also wear gloves... I have gauntlets. This is not for people who think fighting with plastic swords would be fun. It's hardness and weight is enough to break some fingers without much force put into it. I myself fell into that category and had to purchase some extra armor for my sword sparring.

Other than that.. as advertised. You just need to know which kind of end user you are before purchasing it.

MBA Degree in a Box (School in a Box)
MBA Degree in a Box (School in a Box)
by mental_floss
Edition: Cards
Price: $10.58
66 used & new from $5.64

9 of 13 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Middle School BA in a Box, August 5, 2012
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
Yeah, so if you didn't know any of the important business people in the flash cards in this box, you're clearly a moron.

The tiny book of terms is pretty good, but some explanations are too vague.

Only a middleschooler trying to pop his entrepreneur/ business savvy cherry part of his brain can learn something.

It's not a great gift for friends, unless he's 12. Really shallow information.

The law version of this box is pretty good though, but stay away from this one. I bought both for a friend, so I know.

Hatchet II (Unrated Director's Cut) [Blu-ray]
Hatchet II (Unrated Director's Cut) [Blu-ray]
DVD ~ Tony Todd
Price: $10.48
39 used & new from $2.99

1 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Hatchet 2 - Return of Swamp Bad Acting and Lame Kills, August 5, 2012
Okay... so I saw the first one. The story was weak, the humor jabs at your funny bone slighty, but the kills were all unique. They were fun to watch and kept you guessing how the next victim will get violated.

HOWEVER, the sequel... my God. The acting is so bad, there is a negative improvement from the last one. Basically the characters show emotions that are so damn obviously staged. You do not get pulled into the depravity and sadness of Victor's legend.

Then the backstory doesn't explain fully how Victor's curse began. I can't give anything away, but how a woman rises from the dead to give some voodoo curse because of some cheating makes 0 sense. Did she make a pact with the devil or was she the daughter of a witch. No idea, but not interesting at all.

The kills are lamer that a limbless baby. He just hacks at people once or shoves his fingers through them, then voila, a ton of fake blood gushes onto a tree or wall. This happens for everyone that dies pretty much. At least the director got his wish of putting the belt sander to the face in.

The comedy is poor too. Just a supposed funny black guy being bold and a naughty slut. They're both not funny... just the beginning when the video camera of the recently deceased porn director is found is LOL.

So anyways... story, acting, kills, and comedy are all horribly executed. It's a garbage movie with a weak ending to top it all off. Just stay away from this.

I watched it with 4 friends on some down time in the night. We wished we watched some other old horror movie again.
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 24, 2016 3:55 PM PST

The Darkness II [Download]
The Darkness II [Download]
Price: $5.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sweetest 6 hours of pure Darkness, May 2, 2012
I played the first Darkness just last week before playing the second installment. I must say I thought the first left me feeling the Darkness is not so powerful after all (until you get the black hole and become overpowered). The story was still good, but traversing the subway station and semi-poorly laid out map/ objectives got me a bit frustrated.

The second Darkness is amazing. The graphics gave me an orgasm as Avatar the movie did in theaters. Never had I seen cell shaded graphics and every scene so detail and masterfully crafted. It IS linear, but does not make you feel like you're stuck in some 3D rendered sector made by levellorddesigner69... it feels very realistic! If I have to sacrifice realism and believable areas, then linear I care not it be.

The gameplay is terrific. I've played too many games where the controls are clunky and can't utilize what the designer wanted. When you slap an enemy across the face and pick him up to do 4 of the execution options to suits your environment, it can be done without it be annoying or too late to be of use. You can use the Darkness powers and guns with full immersion and without sacrifice. The stats tree is great too and I found them all to be useful and fun to utilize.

Now on to the story, the characters look very real and act it too. Their facial and body movements aren't as mechanical as 90% of the games are. Jackie's quest for Jenny and strife with the Darkness pulls you in and makes you care. Wonderful voice acting and story telling.

Sooo, with terrific graphics, gameplay, and story, there's only the issue of brevity. Well it is short, but thanks to the skill tree, it is worth a second run through. So I'd cap it at 12 hours of pleasure.

Well done Starbreeze and Top Cow! I look forward to another Darkness or Chronicle of Riddick.

Gaspari Nutrition Superpump Max, Refreshing Orange, 1.41 Pounds
Gaspari Nutrition Superpump Max, Refreshing Orange, 1.41 Pounds
Offered by 585 Supplements
Price: $45.95
4 used & new from $38.99

5.0 out of 5 stars Turned me into Superman, March 26, 2012
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
Honestly, I've used a ton of supplements that never did me any good. I stopped using protein powder and multi-vitamins and creatine for year, yet still managed to get my bench from 205 to 275.

However, I hit a plateau and was very wary about trying supplements again. I found this after some research on Google and Amazon on what real users thought. After using this SuperPump, I am happy to say that I felt strong and focused. My basketball game even increased a 2-fold, with my focus through the roof... believe me, i'm sure this product and my hoop-game is correlated, since I have finished it for 2 weeks and I suck now.

The bottom line is, this product has worked for me, when kre-akalyn and legal testosterone boosters didn't. Strange how things work out, I firmly believe different people and different bodies take things in with varying success. I do recommend SuperPump.. I got orange, which was very tasty. I hear blue raspberry is even better.

A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 1)
A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 1)
by George R. R. Martin
Edition: Paperback
Price: $11.85
243 used & new from $0.01

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fast paced, bloody, and sharp like a dagger!, March 22, 2012
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
I tore through this book in only 2 weeks after watching season 1 of Game of Thrones.

The tv series literally is a clone of the book, with very few differences that admittedly were better done in the show.

This book is hands down the best fantasy read I ever had. The Lord of the Rings is utterly boring and is the WORST fantasy book to begin with. I'm glad that Game of Thrones is now mainstream and young people will read this book, since it is so beautifully written.

Bottom line is that reading this book is just as entertaining and fast paced as watching it. There really are extremely few books out there that can do that. Book 1 grips you and does not let go.

I am currently on the second book and fighting with myself not to keep reading, since the season 2 is coming out next month!

Soul Calibur IV - Xbox 360
Soul Calibur IV - Xbox 360
Offered by Hitgaming Video Games
Price: $20.53
137 used & new from $1.98

3.0 out of 5 stars The last of the great SC series, February 29, 2012
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
I started with Soul Calibur 2, which was an incredible game. Soul Calibur 4 brings new characters and allows you to customize them with a diverse array of outfits and weapons. You pay money earned from finishing campaign, making it's replay very high.

My only beef with it is that SC4 has been following the trend where they downplay story mode more and more. The fact that EVERY single character battles in the SAME 6 arenas, against the SAME opponents, then finally leads to one of 3 bosses is unacceptable.

It just makes the story mode so much worse... I mean hell... there's a load of arenas that come with the game that aren't even used in the story mode. If you created the 3D model, then use it...

The verdict is that the gameplay is great, characters are fun to look at, replay value is high, but the story mode is horrible.

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning - Xbox 360
Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning - Xbox 360
Offered by NYC Electronics
Price: $20.98
206 used & new from $3.89

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not a great console RPG, February 29, 2012
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
Let's break this up where this game fails:

I was taken back by the graphics. The dark atmosphere makes things hard to see (I have a 70-inch TV and still had to squint) and bland. The human character models are not detailed and there is very little customization. You will not fall in love with your avatar, but make a generic looking male or female.

The story is weak, but the dialogue is well written. TOO well written! Lot of crap is exchanged between NPC for mundane quests and you just skim/ skip through it. It doesn't help immerse you in the world, since it's so wordy, you might as well be reading a book. This doesn't mean I'm not well read. Let me say that I am comparing these dialog mechanic to RPGs like Mass Effect or Batman, where it is concise and to the point. Only a sentence runs across the screen, not 2 paragraphs.

The gameplay is fast, but not ground breaking. The reviews make it that the gameplay is KoA only redeemable quality, but I didn't like it enough that I sold it to a friend the next week.

Mass Effect 3 is coming out soon and if you look back at past titles, I would stick with Fable 2 (not 3, ghastly piece of crap) over KoA.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 3, 2012 10:56 AM PDT

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