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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
, July 27, 2011
In a limping economy with a massive loss of jobs due to
conniving men in fancy suits with expensive degrees,
clandestinely scheming to enlarge the gap between the
rich and poor, results in the true power base of America
resigning themselves to places like F**ktown.
It's a place where one becomes further destitute, wholly
apathetic, meandering in a zombie-like trance, while at the
mercy of a brutal wannabe dictator and his bloodthirsty
underlings whom readily indulge in their barbaric fantasies.
"Hobo" is a surreal, nightmarish journey; a hyperbolic
test of the inhumanities of humanity and suffering pushed
to its limits. However, it is relieving to know that the
grass is always greener... all one needs is a lawnmower... or
a shotgun for change.
Guest starring Tom Cruise in ice skates.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
A Predictable Man
, May 6, 2011
Churning out more movies in 6 months than Hollywood
does in a year, Seagal still hasn't shown any signs
of slowing down despite nearly collecting retirement.
Since Above the Law audiences have been enthralled
by the numerous ways in which a human body can be twisted,
snapped, thrown, pummeled, cut, burned, impaled, shot and
blown to smithereens. And ol' Steven continues to deliver
that need with a cinematic body count rivaling that of a
However, over the years viewers have been baffled by
the parody of the 6'4" Aikido star.
Uncertain to fans:
1. The gross overuse of poor voice-overs. Also, Steven's
mysterious use of accents ranging from a jive-talkin'
brotha, to a Louisianan bumpkin. Is it mockery or simply
trying to fit in with the natives?
2. Seagal's stand-in's that poorly resemble him; usually
shorter, half his weight and with real hair.
3. How the lapsed time can sometimes feel like more than
double or even triple the film's actual running time.
And still we commit time to his films in desperate hope
for a quick glimpse of films decades past.
Now, advice for future Seagal DTV bad guys:
1. Never, under any circumstance hold a pistol a foot away
from Steven's face. This generally results in being quickly
disarmed in an array of hyper-edited fight shots resulting
in a disc seperating neck chop by a hand big enough to
grasp 3/4 of a basketball, or having your nuts kicked into
your upper abdominal area and rendered useless (Seagal is
a one man army for population control).
2. When you run completely out of ammo, flee. DO NOT by
any means attempt hand-to-hand combat, especially when you
are usually half the man's height and weight and plan to
have children. You might be half his age, and he's usually
standing immobile, but the man's arms can move quicker than
lightning. The unfortunate saps that try typically end up pinned
against a wall, bombarded by flailing arms and then thrown into
every piece of nearby furniture (always done in hyper-editing
3. Never explain your nefarious deeds while standing 3 feet
away from said bone-breaker/nut-pulverizer, especially when
holding a pistol a foot away from his face while standing
in a room full of furniture.
4. Never make Steven look bad on the set, as it could
result in aforementioned injuries (i.e. leave your confidence
and arrogance at the door).
Advice to producers of the next imminent DTV release:
Please, do not put Steven in any further scenes involving
sex or the possibility of it. It's downright cruel to the
fans and the actresses who just received their high school
diplomas. We watch ONLY to see the dismantling of bodies,
and NOT for the clumsy, awkward, "exotic" scenes that might
get women in their golden years hot and bothered, if such
a fanbase even exists. We implore you to please bury that
|DVD ~ Chiwetel Ejiofor|
|Offered by Media Favorites|
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
, April 1, 2011
With countless trite films nowadays parading and
celebrating immorality, Redbelt is certainly a breath
of fresh air. Our hero isn't perfect, but he strives to
do his best to live by a code of honor, one instilled
by many years of martial arts training and philosophy.
He seems alien in the midst of the corrupted; people
easily swayed to make a fast buck despite its undignified
origins, and it's in these moments where the protagonist's
actions speak loudest. However, the path to hell is
sometimes paved with good intentions, but one should
never stray or become disheartened in spite of the
Mamet is certainly on top of his game here. Sure, the
dialogue seems a bit peculiar at times, but it will linger.
And the action never becomes overindulgent, but more a
contrast of justified and unjustified violence.
A film to be revered.
3 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Takes off and nosedives
, March 11, 2011
If ever an assassin, where would be the most discreet
place to carry out your diabolical plan? Why, in the
coach section of a major airline of course! It's a
no-brainer really; an ideal location where your threats,
headbutts and menacing aisle stares will go completely
unnoticed amid post 911 passengers.
These terrorists are bold however, and don't give a
second thought to firing off a rocket launcher in broad
daylight, blatantly surveilling your lavish home,
assaulting your father and then clumsily chasing your
daughter around with a 12" knife.
But thank God for the TSA and their intrusive body
scanners with saved images and pat-downs though,
helping to at least minimize these sly, ubiquitous
|DVD ~ Cameron Diaz|
|Offered by SOUTHWEST MEDIA|
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
It's within your hands
, February 22, 2011
An "alien" group is bound to test the souls of
the unsuspecting through the tried-and-true method
of greed further placating their twisted need
for corrupted souls.
Their power is omnipotent through the system,
easily enabling them to manipulate their targets
into financial hardship, thus making their offer
all the more appealing.
Rationalization sadly outweighs logic and Eve
presses the button, falling prey like so many
others before her. The blood sacrifice is made
and the vicious cycle continues. Drones are sent
out by the hordes gravitating to their victims,
prodding them along the predestined path, ultimately
leading to a choice of visiting the wrath upon oneself
or on one's child; a choice coinciding with another's
whose hand is near the button. A collective or
The mastermind/puppet claims that it's for the
betterment of mankind. It's evil in the guise of
humanitarianism with the aim of weeding out the
1 of 6 people found the following review helpful
The JERK Next Door
, January 7, 2011
Meanwhile, in cookie-cutter suburbia...
A struggling mother of three, one of whom
is from a different father (out of wedlock?)
embraces a seemingly "nice" guy in hopes of finding
family stability. A relationship that began on
deception; one that the children initially and
The jerk then watches over the children in a feeble
attempt to win them over; cliches abound ensue.
"Hilariously" he enacts his own Patriot Act by
covertly placing hidden cameras, wire taps and bugs
throughout their home all in the name of "security"
brazenly showcasing the film's underlying message,
as though the DVD cover didn't say enough.
Enter the parodied Russian commies with their
nefarious plan of dominating the world's oil supply,
which hinges upon a single file downloaded to an
equally intrusive kid's IPod. The fatherless brats
are put in danger on more than one occassion, but
the jerk valiantly defeats the commies after nearly
destroying the American home. The ends justify the
means in the land of disarray, so all is well and
the jerk finally finds acceptance.
A real tear-jerker.
1 of 4 people found the following review helpful
, December 14, 2010
The Thing is cold, subtle and revels in darkness.
It seeks to ensnare and devour every cell of its
lonely victim, becoming complete in oneness.
The Antarctica base... a dreary men's prison, an
ideal feeding ground where even dogs are unsafe.
Calmness and drudgery soon replaced with paranoia.
Friend or foe? It's nearly impossible to tell.
A scientist and realist foresees the grim future,
but they're not privy as they are so undeserving. So
he's gone mad, lock him up. Planted underwear, torn
and soiled. Overtaken from behind? Was he Mac-Ready?
Shock therapy gone wholly awry, he's become a shell
of a man. It's even like an insect, burrowing deeply
into your psyche.
Who's diseased? They're so stoic and unassuming, yet
convincing, expertly concealing their motives, surely
a blood test will tell. A man's head devoured. Check
underground, there it dwells, a busy bee, scheming. It's
stealthy in its new form... hush now... infestation orally.
He who was aware becomes the utlimate nightmare, emerging
a coalesced form of dark, mutated, shrieking souls quickly
sent to a fiery hell.
A bold Carpenter film.
|DVD ~ Adrien Brody|
|Offered by Phase 3, LLC|
2 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Save that dollar at the Redbox
, November 29, 2010
Whether or not Splice is a tounge-in-cheek tale, an
allegory of Adam and Eve, a modern Frankenstien,
or all of these, does not make it a profound
masterpiece. I won't expound on the film's plot,
acting, special effects, etc. as many have already
done that job so effectively.
I was too disgusted and disappointed to click on
the "Special Features", but I imagine possible
"Extended love and rape scenes".
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
My new friend
, November 16, 2010
Having recently put my last pen to rest after
nearly a decade of comic strip abuse, I was
in search of a new pen, equal in ability.
Rapidosketch .35mm has exceeded my expectations.
Having read "Sketch" in its title I became fairly
skeptical in its design and quality; this is
not the case. This refillable pen is lightweight
and produces a very thin line, excellent for
finely detailed work.
A few minor complaints is the metal nib tip, which
at times digs into the Bristol board paper and is a
reminder of the pressure I'm applying. The portion
of the pen that you hold can become uncomfortable
over time, depending on how much you draw and the
way in which you hold the pen.
The ink flow is steady and I have found that lightly
shaking the pen will improve ink flow. Keep a scrap
piece of paper or cloth nearby to gently wipe the nib tip
as it might collect paper fibers. I took a fellow
reviewer's advice and always store the pen vertically
and have not had any problems yet with clogging. I
suggest thoroughly cleaning the pen after several
ink fills with hot water.
For those who use ink, this pen is a great affordable tool.
|DVD ~ Shawn Ashmore|
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Meal time for the wolf pack
, October 8, 2010
If ever caught in this highly unlikely predicament
where karma and Murphy's Law are your best buddies
while stranded on a ski lift, try bending (or not) a
ski pole to zip-line down the sharp cable and back
to a fairly safer land. Of course, the characters aren't
in the habit of using their brains, but rather choose
the more painful and difficult options.
This is not on the same level as Jaws as a pack of
unbelievably intelligent, man-eating, ski resort wolves
are a poor comparison to a demon-like Great White. And
the cast of Frozen evidently can't compare to the acting
trio of Jaws.
Sure, Frozen has its intensity and those realistic
cringing moments, but they are few and far between the
film's filler of inane dialogue. It's not until 30 or
40 minutes into the film that the intensity slowly develops.
The characters are one dimensional and obnoxious, which
certainly detracts from the film's emotional impact.
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