Profile for Collin Berner > Reviews


Collin Berner's Profile

Customer Reviews: 10
Top Reviewer Ranking: 27,965,298
Helpful Votes: 38

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Collin Berner RSS Feed (Lexington, KY)

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Sid Meier's Civilization IV
Sid Meier's Civilization IV
Price: $9.10
143 used & new from $0.01

2 of 26 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Catastrophic Failure, October 13, 2006
= Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars 
I installed this game with no problems. Then I tried to run it. No good. So I uninstalled it. It took me about 20 tries for the game to install properly again, each time getting a "Catastrophic Failure" error message. Then I tried to run it. No good.

2K games is looking to put out a product for maximum gains with minimum effort. I sincerely hope they won't screw up BioShock the way they have Civilization.

Freddy Got Fingered
Freddy Got Fingered
DVD ~ Tom Green
Offered by cds_dvds_guaranteed
Price: $58.65
48 used & new from $0.01

11 of 17 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Is there anything lower than 1 star?, November 5, 2002
This review is from: Freddy Got Fingered (DVD)
Quite frankly, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. There is no plot, and the jokes and gags just aren't funny. They're totally unrelated to what is going on in the movie. It's basically just a stream of Tom Green's sexual (both human and animal) fantasies along with other just plain disgusting things that Tom Green thinks are funny, all very loosely tied to a plot that goes about as deep as a kiddie pool.

Pawn of Prophecy (Belgariad)
Pawn of Prophecy (Belgariad)
by David Eddings
Edition: Mass Market Paperback
Price: $7.99
304 used & new from $0.01

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The start of one of the best fantasy series ever written, February 15, 2002
First of all, if you go into this book with a bunch of arrogant predispositions and an elitist literary critic attitude, you definitely won't enjoy it. Something like Martin's Song of Ice and Fire is for you. Really, if this is your attitude, you probably lead a pretty depressed life. Anyway, some people complain that he thinks he is original but only uses the same formula as is typical for fantasy. He quite openly admits to using a formula in The Rivan Codex (where you will find that he did, in fact, put a lot of work into the belgariad). Personally, I believe that it's not the initial framework that defines a good author, it's what he does with it. David Eddings does an excellent job with it.
Now some readers choose to complain that this series is not realistic enough. First of all, the name of this genre is Fantasy, not reality. Look it up. The author is much freer to do things with mythical creatures, magic, prophecies, et cetera, while remaining "in bounds." The author who chooses to minimize such things and focus on politics and other "realistic things" isn't as original as he thinks he is. He is either medieval, or shouldn't be trying to write under the fantasy title. Enough of that.
Should you choose to have an open mind, this book contains a lot of humor, despair, mystery, and some rather strange, but humorous romances. It is a great coming-of-age story and is not in the least bit confusing. The characters are all clearly defined, and many of them play off of each other very well. Anyway, this can be one of the best series you will ever read if you allow yourself to enjoy it. Whether you do or not is up to you.

A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 1)
A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 1)
by George R. R. Martin
Edition: Mass Market Paperback
Price: $9.97
411 used & new from $0.01

14 of 38 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't force myself to continue reading it, February 14, 2002
[....]I enjoy fantasy and sci-fi writing a lot. Usually I can force my way through a fantasy/sci-fi book even if it's pretty bad. Heck, I finished Crichton's Airframe. However, there was just a certain impenetrable thickness to this book that only let me get about 100 pages in, both times I tried. I think a book should leave you wondering what happens next when you have to put it down to go to class or something like that. However, this book was so confusing that I found myself avoiding it whenever I had time to read. Don't get me wrong, I love stories of intrigue and mystery, and stuff that messes with your head, but this was different. It was just plain confusing; I think part of that is due to the fact that so many of the names Martin uses sound extremely similar so I never knew who's who. Not as in I never knew who was on whose side in a mysterious intriguing sort of way, but that I never could get the name with the right person. Maybe he should have gone more in-depth with each character, and maybe stretched it out to a five-book series. The story did not seem to be in any way lacking; it just wasn't written as well as it could have been. Oh, and what's with the graphic sexual stuff? seriously, I think we're all mature enough to know that it goes on and don't need to be reading about "the wetness between her thighs."
Anyway, try this book out for yourself; you may be able to get into it better than I did, and it may have some good things to offer as well.

Beyond Belief
Beyond Belief
Offered by CaffeMedia_Express
Price: $17.99
15 used & new from $6.55

5.0 out of 5 stars wow, November 30, 2001
This review is from: Beyond Belief (Audio CD)
quite simply, this is an amazing album; you truly have to hear it to believe it. Combining deep lyrics and excellent musicianship, this album is a nice contrast from the touchy-feely style that is somehow more popular right now.
oh, and something I thought was cool: i think it's in "Last Daze".. at the end when the song is fading out, you can hear a Jimi Hendrix guitar lick.
Anyway, buy this CD, and I guarantee you won't regret it.

Max Payne - PC
Max Payne - PC
Offered by RarePCGames
Price: $8.79
46 used & new from $0.99

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Great storyline, excellent engine, no strategy, November 6, 2001
This review is from: Max Payne - PC (Video Game)
The storyline in this game is very thrilling from the whole Valkyr story to the blood trail dream phases, and the graphics are pretty decent, nothing spectacular. This game's 2 big features are the graphic novel scenes instead of fancy cutscenes, and the Matrix, er, Bullet Time slow-motion shooting and the instant replay when you give someone a bullet to the head. There is a nice variety of weapons, though it's a little odd how Max can carry so many at once. Sounds like a 5-star game, huh?
The major problem comes in when you realize, hey, there's little to no strategy or decisionmaking involved here. The levels are depressingly straightforward. There are all sorts of doors that make it look like you have a thrillingly complex level, but when you approach them they make a little shaking noise, as if you're trying to open them, but you have to move on to the doors that the emenies have so nicely left unlocked for you. Occasionally, you'll have to figure out a way to get beyond a door, but that's usually just a few steps back. Basically, there's barely any choices that you can make. You just sit back and kill people until the next graphic novel scene comes on.
Basically, this game would have made a better graphic novel. Unless, of course, you love mindless shooting games with souped up animation.

Humongous Zits: A Zits Treasury
Humongous Zits: A Zits Treasury
by Jerry Scott
Edition: Paperback
Price: $14.04
126 used & new from $0.01

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars this one's a winner, October 28, 2001
This book brings a fresh, humorous look at the misunderstandings between teenagers and parents. Reading this book, it was almost like the authors magically got into my brain and wrote down everything they saw from my teenage years. (oh, for those of you who are mad because this is merely Zits Sketchbook #1 and 2 put together, it's called a "treasury")

Emotions of Steel
Emotions of Steel
7 used & new from $22.95

5.0 out of 5 stars Very nice CD, October 18, 2001
This review is from: Emotions of Steel (Audio CD)
As stated in the previous reviews, this doesn't even compare to hearing his performances live. Having played "summer song" in a steel band with him, the recording on this CD is a little weak, but his soloing ability is amazing. I personally bought this CD solely for "raindrops" - one of Liam's breathtaking original solo pieces. I also encourage anyone who reads this to try and find his first CD "Hands like lightning," which contains my favorite of his solos, a Visit to Hell, and his third CD, "Impressions."

Jars of Clay
Jars of Clay
Offered by insomniacsonline
Price: $7.99
278 used & new from $0.01

5.0 out of 5 stars Innovation in a world of spiritual stack dump, if you will, September 6, 2001
This review is from: Jars of Clay (Audio CD)
Jars of Clay (this album anyway) was incredibly innovative with this album. It may sound very simple, yet, this is probably the most artistic Christian album ever. Plus, I love how the band is not ashamed to admit their brokenness (I believe anyone who calls themself a christian and doesn't admit to being broken is a liar. Disagree? I'd love to discuss. ...). Anyway, I believe this album is amazing in its deceptive simplicity. A must for anyone who's tired of hearing the feelings-only-please-check-your-brains-at-the-door Christian music that is popular today.

Deus Ex - PC
Deus Ex - PC
Offered by A-to-Z FULFILLMENTS
Price: $34.95
35 used & new from $2.50

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Duke Nukem for the intelligensia of society, August 7, 2001
This review is from: Deus Ex - PC (Video Game)
Finally, an intelligent shoot-em-up game. After ages of mind-numbing rapid firing "ooh look at the blood spurt out of that guy's neck" games, comes Deus Ex, which combines basic elements of shoot-em-up games, a pretty advanced stealth engine (not unlike that of Thief), and international government/terrorist conspiracies, providing many hours of constantly twisting storyline, sneaking around complex mazes, and (for the simpler of us) shooting people. A must for any serious gamer. Warning: Do not expect to get much sleep while playing this game.

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