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No One's the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan for the Mother and Stepmother Relationship
No One's the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan for the Mother and Stepmother Relationship
by Jennifer Newcomb Marine
Edition: Paperback
65 used & new from $1.59

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Helpful... but only if you are dealing with someone who is open to you, September 9, 2013
I am a stepmom dealing with a very difficult relationship with my stepdaughters' mother. I have mixed feelings about this book. I think the advice would be GREAT if you are dealing with someone reasonable - it really exposes how moms and stepmoms see the same situation in different ways and I think that could be really helpful. However - if you are dealing with someone who is not willing to meet you part-way, this book can really backfire by raising your expectations and then just letting you down.

In my own situation, I thought I was getting a lot out of this book at first. My husband's ex is herself remarried. She loves her daughters and has kept the conflict away from them. The divorce was mutual. Etc. It seemed like a good candidate for a decent working relationship. Reading the book opened my eyes to how the girls' mom was probably feeling about my arrival on the scene, and I started to feel a lot empathy for her. I tried really hard to adjust my behavior so as not to trigger common mom/stepmom issues, and I really tried to "own my own %#$^", as the book suggests. I also reached out a number of times, in both direct and low-key ways (asking her if she wants to have coffee, being warm at the door during drop-offs, etc). All as the book suggested.

Unfortunately, in my case it turns out that I was dealing with someone who is angry and will likely stay that way. If anything, I think my attempts to be friendly to her only made her angrier. And then when she rejected those attempts, it just made ME angry and hurt. Basically, my own optimism (drawn from the book) that this situation could improve totally backfired because I now feel rejected. I feel like I bent over backwards following the advice from the book, when I should have just lain low and not hoped for anything positive.

So if you are dealing with someone angry, this book may not be for you. I would tread lightly and back off. This book will raise your expectations/ hopes and make you feel like you can fix things, when you can't. In my case, a much healthier approach would have been to just minimize contact and lower your expectations. Hopefully the new book (Skirts at War) will be more tailored to my situation.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jul 16, 2015 7:40 PM PDT

Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide to Emo Culture
Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide to Emo Culture
by Leslie Simon
Edition: Paperback
Price: $14.00
163 used & new from $0.01

8 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I heart this book, May 4, 2007
This book is hilarious. Its observations are dead on. It's funny enough that it's a great read even if you aren't sure if you are emo but just want to read about pop culture.

ps. Nancy Kerrigan is totally emo!

Simple Things
Simple Things
Offered by DVD-PC-GAMES
Price: $7.57
62 used & new from $0.01

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mellow, sultry electronica, October 4, 2001
This review is from: Simple Things (Audio CD)
Since I bought this album several months ago, it has rarely been out of the cd player for more than a day. Comparisons to Air -especially Moon Safari - are apt: Zero 7 is sensual, introspective and melodic, but relaxing rather than depressing. I gave this cd to my sister and boyfriend and both are as enthusiastic about it as I am.

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