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Jurassic City (DVD) Region 3*** Import** / Ray Wise, Kevin Gage
Jurassic City (DVD) Region 3*** Import** / Ray Wise, Kevin Gage
DVD ~ Ray Wise

2.0 out of 5 stars ORANGE IS THE NEW TOURNIQUET, January 31, 2015
This isn't exactly the film described in the Amazon review or pictured on the cover. This review contains plot spoilers, but don't worry, the film wasn't that good. The 1,000's of raptors and dinosaurs are not set loose on LA until the end scenes. That would have been a great film.

In this film, CG Raptors get loose in an LA city jail, because somehow that is where the military swaps Raptors. Exactly how and why the military has dinosaurs is one of those silly plot points that never need explaining. Three hot sorority sisters, a couple of lesbians and a flake are in the ladies' side of the prison while a polite serial rapist and killer is on the guy's side. The prison doors all come open while 3 raptors bite off the heads of people. Regular automatic weapons don't seem to work, only large hand held cannons which can blow the Raptor's head off seems to work. Of course most of the military working with the dinosaurs have the automatic weapon.

Now I did like the characters we meet in prison. It added to what would otherwise be a boring CG raptor film.

Sorority girl: "These are dinosaurs. This is a prison. I think we're a little out of our element."

The film is Asylum grade, including the occasional gaff.

Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Some bikini shots. Heads torn off. Blood splatter on lens. PG-13 stuff.


Jurassic City
Jurassic City
DVD ~ Ray Wise
Price: $13.69

2.0 out of 5 stars ORANGE IS THE NEW TOURNIQUET, January 31, 2015
This review is from: Jurassic City (DVD)
This isn't exactly the film described in the Amazon review or pictured on the cover. This review contains plot spoilers, but don't worry, the film wasn't that good. The 1,000's of raptors and dinosaurs are not set loose on LA until the end scenes. That would have been a great film.

In this film, CG Raptors get loose in an LA city jail, because somehow that is where the military swaps Raptors. Exactly how and why the military has dinosaurs is one of those silly plot points that never need explaining. Three hot sorority sisters, a couple of lesbians and a flake are in the ladies' side of the prison while a polite serial rapist and killer is on the guy's side. The prison doors all come open while 3 raptors bite off the heads of people. Regular automatic weapons don't seem to work, only large hand held cannons which can blow the Raptor's head off seems to work. Of course most of the military working with the dinosaurs have the automatic weapon.

Now I did like the characters we meet in prison. It added to what would otherwise be a boring CG raptor film.

Sorority girl: "These are dinosaurs. This is a prison. I think we're a little out of our element."

The film is Asylum grade, including the occasional gaff.

Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Some bikini shots. Heads torn off. Blood splatter on lens. PG-13 stuff.


So-Mine LLC Mini Stylus Gel Pen, Set of 4 (SO-0598)
So-Mine LLC Mini Stylus Gel Pen, Set of 4 (SO-0598)
Price: $15.03

4.0 out of 5 stars Prefer Pentel for a pen around the neck., January 30, 2015
I am currently testing these at work right now. The stylus works fine. The ink point is bright and bold black ink, at least a medium thickness and not a fine point. The ink stays wet for a few seconds and can smudge. If you are like me and still using ink to create legal documents or writing lock outs and writing on tags and stickers, smudging is an issue. For that reason, I prefer the Pentel to these pens. A stylus pen from China sells for $.29 on their own web site and for about $.21 in bulk on E-bay (150 for $32.00). I can slip it into my pocket and if I lose one, I will just have to hell out another quarter.


The Sex Side Of Low Budget Films Unrated Edition
The Sex Side Of Low Budget Films Unrated Edition
DVD ~ Deseree Cook
Price: $9.95
13 used & new from $1.99

1.0 out of 5 stars NOT RENDERED, January 30, 2015
It's bad. M'kay.

The beginning starts like a DVD I burned myself with a date and time recorded mode. I've seen pirate films made better. The "film" is narrated by a drone named Travis who has a hard time with the lines he wrote for himself. He tells us films have a lot of sex and violence a few times during the feature, but other than that, there was really no discussion about it.

The film shows some topless screen tests and the filming of a low budget slasher (?) film, The claim was made they couldn't get the actresses they needed to get naked so they hired local strippers. The women in the film were on the full figured/ chunky side. Unless you can't get enough BBW into your life this is something you can pass on.


Parts of the Family
Parts of the Family
DVD ~ Norman Baert
Offered by closeoutmovies
Price: $7.24
30 used & new from $1.44

2.0 out of 5 stars A ROOM WITH A VIEW, January 30, 2015
This review is from: Parts of the Family (DVD)
Jason Goodis (Bob Dougherty) likes to paint, smack women, take hostages, and rob banks. Unfortunately he is not very good at it. While running from the law, Jason ends up in a mansion with Elle (Cecilia Bergqvist) a woman who likes sex, posing naked, and liver.

The film is not good. The ridiculous amateur added features in the second film made it better, and almost viewable. The newscasters were boring. The additions lacked imagination and consisted of a lot of breathing and fart humor. This production certainly does not display the genius of Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lilly." While I would like to see more films gutted and have new voice overs, I wouldn't want Kaufman involved.

The film...what was that? Zombie mummies? From where? What made them?

Guide: F-bombs, groping, nudity (Cecilia Bergqvist)


Parts Of The Family
Parts Of The Family
Offered by Short-form Videos
Price: $0.00

2.0 out of 5 stars A ROOM WITH A VIEW, January 30, 2015
This review is from: Parts Of The Family
Jason Goodis (Bob Dougherty) likes to paint, smack women, take hostages, and rob banks. Unfortunately he is not very good at it. While running from the law, Jason ends up in a mansion with Elle (Cecilia Bergqvist) a woman who likes sex, posing naked, and liver.

The film is not good. The ridiculous amateur added features in the second film made it better, and almost viewable. The newscasters were boring. The additions lacked imagination and consisted of a lot of breathing and fart humor. This production certainly does not display the genius of Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lilly." While I would like to see more films gutted and have new voice overs, I wouldn't want Kaufman involved.

The film...what was that? Zombie mummies? From where? What made them?

Guide: F-bombs, groping, nudity (Cecilia Bergqvist)


The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III
DVD ~ Bradley Cooper
Price: $9.99
30 used & new from $4.83

3.0 out of 5 stars I WILL NEVER CHANGE, January 30, 2015
This review is from: The Hangover Part III (DVD)
I was hoping "Hangover 3" would be a remake of 1 and 2 when Alan (Zach Galifianakis) avers "I will never change." For those who complained that "Hangover 2" was too much like the original...be careful what you ask for.

This film builds upon the events from the first film for plot and humor. Our threesome must capture Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong) or else Doug (Justin Bartha) will be killed by crime boss Marshall (John Goodman). Goodman revives his famous potty line from the "Branded" scene of "The Big Lebowski" which might go unnoticed among the 100 or so F-bombs dropped in the film.

The plot was boring compared to the other two features. This film relies on the delivery of over the top jokes from Zach Galifianakis which incorporates bizarre dark humor. Without this, the film is a bust. Good use of classic rock lyrics incorporated into the film.

No need to rush out and see this on the big screen.

Parental Guide: Excessive F-bombs. No sex. Brief nudity(?)


Karaoke Terror: The Complete Japanese Showa Songbook
Karaoke Terror: The Complete Japanese Showa Songbook
DVD ~ Ryuhei Matsuda
Offered by newbury_comics
Price: $9.99
26 used & new from $2.01

4.0 out of 5 stars IT'S A SAD HAPPY SONG, January 30, 2015
This is a good dark comedy, some of which actually translates well, of two feuding Showa Karaoke groups. One group consists of young males. Sugako initiates the feud by killing a member of the woman's group who refused his sexual advances. The "middle aged" women call themselves "Hemmi" which appears to be a form of Hemi or half since they are all divorced. The method of killing escalates with each kill. This would make a great American film. Warning: The DVD back cover has plot spoilers in that it shows the first three kills.

Guide: F-bomb, nudity, sexual groping. $2.99 Mountain View Movies


Taken 3 - Clip: Good Luck
Taken 3 - Clip: Good Luck
Offered by Short-form Videos
Price: $0.00

4.0 out of 5 stars I'M GOING OFF THE GRID, January 30, 2015
This review is from: Taken 3 - Clip: Good Luck
They didn't remake the same film again, but used the same characters. I am not sure who was "taken" in this one. Now after the second film, I thought Bryan (Liam Neeson) and Lenore (Famke Janssen) were a sure thing to get back together, but apparently he didn't get so much as "thank you" nookie from it. What does a guy got to do? She is still with the guy we hate (Dougray Scott).

In this film Bryan is accused of murder and must go after the real killers while the LAPD led by Forest Whitaker are hot on his tail. Oh yea, the Russians are involved too, which are more formidable than Albanians in LA. I wasn't sure why Kim (Maggie Grace) would say "Dad is predictable," apparently she was in a coma for the first two features. Unfortunately the film is like a combination of Colombo and Scooby-Doo. There are not enough suspects developed to make it overly interesting, and the entertainment is watching all the collateral damage caused by Liam only to be later ignored by the LAPD. We have digressed to car chase scenes and car crashes for excitement.

This was not a great script. I think most fans of the series could have come up with something better. Admittedly I was bit disappointed, yet still entertained. It was like kissing your sister.

Guide: 1 f-bomb with Russian accent. No sex or nudity.


The Remaining
The Remaining
Offered by Short-form Videos
Price: $0.00

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars INSTANT DEATH SYNDROME, January 30, 2015
This review is from: The Remaining
Fifteen minutes into the film Skylar (Alexa PenaVega) proclaims, "Biblical end of the world" and still couldn't find the rapture in the Bible. Of course people who claim it is aliens are laughed at by those who credit God with the situation. Much of the action takes place in a church. The director/writer/editors were savvy enough to know a long church scene would get boring so they toss in newscast showing the situation at various locations. The film also comes across as sci-fi horror with creatures in the mist. This made the film far more entertaining than that Nicolas Cage disaster film. While the planes dropping from the sky in this film weren't as well done in "Left Behind" you were able to emotionally experience the event better. I personally liked the library girl of all the characters.

Now there were some issues I had. Why is it that so many people from the "Free Love" generation get "taken?" We also discover one had to have a personal relationship with Jesus to get raptured, yet kids and new born babies are part of this also. I know the Catholic Church created "Limbo" to account for where unbaptized babies would go when they died. They weren't in heaven, but didn't know they weren't in heaven. But then the church did away with Limbo, and now I don't know what happens to unbaptized babies which would most likely be in the same situation as kids before "the age of accountability" would go should (or when) there is a rapture.

Now in the Catholic church's defense, they are not as big into that end times stuff as they are baptizing heathen babies in the third world. However, I am glad to see the Apocalyptic Christians have this all worked out and are not as messed up as those of us who have dabbled in Catholicism.

4 stars for people of faith.

Guide: No F-bombs, sex, or nudity. Italia Ricci displays cleavage!


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