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I Heart Doomsday
I Heart Doomsday
DVD ~ Joe Cobden
Price: $7.11
23 used & new from $1.00

4.0 out of 5 stars THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA, September 11, 2014
This review is from: I Heart Doomsday (DVD)
Max Von Max (Dan Beirne) likes to create doomsday devices. Tatiana (Christine Ghawi) is the love of his life. During a freak Doomsday accident, Max becomes disfigured and lives underground while Tatiana gets amnesia and forgets him. Max comes up with a bad plan to create an android that looks like him to jar the memory of Tatiana who is now Jane. Max also has an arch enemy in Captain Ovation (Etan Muskat) a man who likes to clap after speeches.

Not exactly Phantom of the Opera, but it was entertaining. The dialogue and acting were bad and the plot was silly. Max forces the robot to be socially inept, if not downright creepy. And the robot also has freakin' laser beams that come out his eyes, that were underused. Bad special effects, low budget film, that I kept watching. Not for everyone. Fans of bad sci-fi will love this one.

No f-bombs, sex, or nudity.

Minuscule: Valley of the Lost Ants ( Minuscule - La vallée des fourmis perdues ) [ NON-USA FORMAT, PAL, Reg.0 Import - Australia ]
Minuscule: Valley of the Lost Ants ( Minuscule - La vallée des fourmis perdues ) [ NON-USA FORMAT, PAL, Reg.0 Import - Australia ]
DVD ~ Hélène Giraud
2 used & new from $35.98

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars OF BUGS AND MEN, September 11, 2014
The film is clever animation mixed in with film. Lady Bugs are depicted as nurturing parents, having a sense of humor, curious, scare easy, and not good fliers. Our main character runs into trouble and aids a group of black ants. They join forces to retrieve some picnic booty back to the farm. The mound becomes a huge Masada fight scene as the evil red ants attempt to take it over.

There is no talking in the film, but clearly the bugs communicate. I found the film to be clever, the soundtrack good, but overall it wasn't that spectacular entertainment...and this from a guy who grew up watching Gumby.

Most kids will surely enjoy it more than I except maybe my 10 year old grandniece who didn't like it.

DVD ~ Anna Walton
Price: $17.98

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars SOULS DO NOT GO TO OLD WELSH COTTAGES, September 11, 2014
This review is from: Soulmate (DVD)
Audrey (Anna Walton) shows up at a remote Wales cottage to get away from life. She is unsociable and melancholy. She wears a wedding ring and her wrists are bandaged. She has difficulty playing her violin and is on medications. If you haven't figured out her story in the first five minutes, you will get a full explanation later on. Of course she meets a ghost. Not as friendly as Caspar, but more like the Ghost and Mrs. Muir without the comedy.

The film is drama about coping with life and moving on. The ghost aspect is secondary. This is a ghost story for people who like Lifetime films and don't like to be scared. The film is slow and not for everyone.

Parental Guide: No sex or nudity.

The Fishmen and Their Queen
The Fishmen and Their Queen
DVD ~ Ramona Badescu
Price: $17.98
18 used & new from $5.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars THERE'S A MOUNTAIN WITH SMOKE COMING OUT OF IT., September 8, 2014
This review is from: The Fishmen and Their Queen (DVD)
Nothing like a bad Italian film for tweens. In the future, the world is destroyed. Our movie follows 2 kids who live in the sewers of NYC and are known as "rat eaters." They find the "Book of Destiny" and take it as it appears to attract rats, their favorite food. Eventually a Mad Max type of guy helps them Escape From New York City and they meet Socrates who transports them to Mysterious Island that has an evil queen and fishmen who look like the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Their task is to rescue hand full of people and the dog and who the heck knows what else.

The film jumped from one film to another. The script was fairly bad. Not recommended for adults and might be punishment for kids.

Parental Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Brief mention of breasts. PG-13 type of swearing, i.e. SOB etc.

Night Hunter
Night Hunter
DVD ~ Don 'The Dragon' Wilson
Offered by New Horizons Pictures
Price: $8.69
23 used & new from $2.95

3.0 out of 5 stars IT WAS THE BOY!, September 8, 2014
This review is from: Night Hunter (DVD)
The film opens in 1968 as young Jack hides from vampires who only hunt at night. He lives in an odd cabin with his parents, one where the door swings OUT. The door has chain locks on it, the ones you put on a door so you can open it and peek out and see who is then when the door swings INWARD. The cabin has no glass windows. The window frames are covered with easy break away boards, but the vampires need a plan to get inside. Seriously.

27 years later, the vampires can hunt during the day....seems they always could.When Jack (Don 'The Dragon' Wilson) attacks a vampire, Spanish guitar music suddenly appears while the camera shakes. The most frightening thing in this film is Maria Ford's varying French accent. It starts out heavy and funny and goes to non-existent. Jack also encounters the only cops in LA that don't shoot a fleeing suspect, even when they have orders to shoot on sight. The one officer chasing Jack was about 15-20 feet behind him when he runs into an automobile. Jack has time to shake himself off, get in the car and have a conversation with the driver before the officer shows up.

I liked the fact they made the dead blood sucking vampire an investment banker. Nice Touch.

Other things to look for: bullets bouncing off plastic seat covers, three shots fired from a double barreled shotgun (eat your heart out Wesley Snipes), dead guy's moving eyes, police wait to fire at Cutter until he has a hostage.

Parental Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity even with Maria Ford in it. 3 stars for MST value

Zombie Horror Fright Fest!
Zombie Horror Fright Fest!
DVD ~ n/a
Offered by Ship and Save
Price: $9.88
30 used & new from $5.74

1.0 out of 5 stars DVD COVER CLAIMS, "WILL GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES FOR YEARS TO COME.", September 8, 2014
This review is from: Zombie Horror Fright Fest! (DVD)
These are 4 short and low budget films. The last one, "Woods of Terror" is about a half hour long is consists mostly of kids describing a zombie slasher. In one scene a man gets his hand cut off, and they didn't bother with a blood squirt.

"The Defiled" is on the art house side, but I found little entertainment value in it.

"Melvin" is the campiest of the four and is worth a free watch, i.e it came with it.

"Fast Zombies with Guns" and "Woods of Terror" are throw aways.

The two discs look nearly identical, one says Disc 1, while the other says "Disc 2" . No title names are printed on the discs. Pot Luck. The discs are contain claymation zombie shorts followed by vast amounts of previews and trailers.

Fast Zombies With Guns
Fast Zombies With Guns
DVD ~ Charles Ramsey
Offered by MightySilver
Price: $14.82
22 used & new from $2.36

2.0 out of 5 stars YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, September 8, 2014
This review is from: Fast Zombies With Guns (DVD)
Some bad guys are bumping off a witness by dropping a sealed glass tube of green fluorescent die into a stand pipe outside of his house. The next thing you know, we have armed zombies intent on revenge and attacking anyone around.

That;s pretty much it outside of some bad acting, lousy dialogue, and terrible sound quality.

"Better chance running and hiding on foot than driving in a car..."

Has great MST value. Bloody children zombies running and getting shot was my favorite. Part of "Zombie Horror Fright Fest" 4-pack.

Parental Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.

The Defiled
The Defiled
Price: $2.99

2.0 out of 5 stars WHO CARES FOR BABY ZOMBIES?, September 8, 2014
This review is from: The Defiled (Amazon Instant Video)
"Defiled" is a black and white zombie film. The main character grunts like he is Tim Allen. The low budget aspect doesn't allow for zombie teeth that rip flesh. The action takes place in a woods near a city. There is some sort of biohazard accident which allows people to walk around with a clear plastic respirator masked attached to a pool hose going to an open conduit connector worn on the belt. Okay, it's low time for cardboard and crayons.

The plot is about zombie survival and group interactions.

Watch instead "Warm Bodies." Seen It? Watch it again instead of watching this one.

Available in a zombie 4-pack, "Zombie Horror Fright Fest" if you must have it.

Tales of the Dead
Tales of the Dead
DVD ~ Heather Amos
Price: $14.99
23 used & new from $2.51

1.0 out of 5 stars MAY DOESNT FEEL WHOLE UNLESS SHE IS AN AMPUTEE, September 8, 2014
This review is from: Tales of the Dead (DVD)
This is a 75 minute film with four stories, of which one briefly has to do with "the dead" and none have a dead looking girl with a chainsaw. This is low budget indie horror, the type where one surname fills almost all the credit spots. Indeed, it appeared credits were added just so they could add the same name over and over.

The stories themselves didn't go anywhere. No clever twists or decent acting. Expected substandard effects, and writing that was horrible in both dialogue and plot. The writer simply didn't know how to tell and end a story to keep the viewer engaged.

Parental Guide: F-bomb. Brief nudity?

Demon Keeper
Demon Keeper
DVD ~ Dirk Benedict
Offered by New Horizons Pictures
Price: $5.82
9 used & new from $3.99

2.0 out of 5 stars YOU MUST CRINGE BEFORE ME, September 8, 2014
This review is from: Demon Keeper (DVD)
Guy (Edward Albert) accidentally releases a demon that was apparently the inspiration for South Park's Satan. People die, women get naked. Voice enhancers over used. Good MST value at 71 minutes. Better film: "Evil Toons."

No f-bombs. Nudity (Jennifer Steyn, Catherine Loveday, Lee Kennedy, Katrina Maltby, Annette Harper)

During the closing credits the word "witch" is misspelled as "with in cave"

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