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Angels of Darkness (2015)
Angels of Darkness (2015)
DVD
Price: $4.99

3.0 out of 5 stars FOOLS AND BEASTS, March 2, 2015
Lara (Eleanor Tomlinson) and her father Dr. Hill (Stephen Rea) explore the castle of Styria before it is demolished. Dr. Hill has discovered a foundation that he claims is pre-Roman, but the plot never develops beyond that. Lara is shrouded in mystery as she draws dark figures in her book. The town and castle have their own secrets and when Lar meets/saves Carmilla (Julia Pietrucha) the mystery deepens and the film becomes more weird. About half way through, we get a pretty good idea what is happening, at least the genre of the film.

The problem with the film is that it spends a lot of time attempting to stay shrouded in mystery that it hampers the plot. If you are still trying to figure things out after an hour with a low action film, it gets boring. Sometimes I felt like I was watching a 70's Italian horror film.
I am sure the film has a niche. I am not part of it.

Guide: No swearing. No sex. No real nudity. Implied nudity in the dark and at a distant.


Zombieworld
Zombieworld
DVD ~ Bill Oberst Jr.
Price: $12.99
13 used & new from $8.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars RUNNING IS THE KEY TO SURVIVAL, March 2, 2015
This review is from: Zombieworld (DVD)
This film is the "Groove Tube" of Zombie films. It consists of a newscast reporting on outbreaks in different parts of the world making for a disjointed film. Places include, Ireland, U.S., Australia, Canada, and Spain. They are all short subjects . There was even a good episode from West Virginia that didn't have a zombie. I enjoyed the public service announcements especially the guy killing zombies with a bicycle seat. The first episode was my favorite, it was in Spanish as Jesus raised the dead causing the first zombie outbreak. Jesus and his side kick Judas must fight off peasant, Roman, and cowboy zombies with fish in an over-the-top episode. Unfortunately the film didn't stay at this level and many episodes were just disappointing such as Ireland, the Cam episode, and even Australia.

The zombies range from foot dragging brain lovers, to fast running intestine eaters.

This is a hit and miss film. Walmart $9.96 I liked it but don't recommend it if you got to pay for it.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity. Troma style body parts, gore, and blood splatter.


The Water Diviner: First Look
The Water Diviner: First Look
Offered by Short-form Videos
Price: $0.00

5.0 out of 5 stars EVERYTHING IS IN THE COFFEE, March 1, 2015
This review is from: The Water Diviner: First Look
Connor (Russell Crowe) is an outback farmer and water diviner. He just has the feeling. His three sons go off to fight the Turks during the first World War and never return. His wife's (Jacqueline McKenzie) dying wish was for her sons to be buried back in Australia. Working with few clues, Connor embarks on a trip where he is a hated stranger in a strange land, yet inspires and helps those around him. The opening claims it was "inspired by true events" but is closer to historical fiction. Yes, an Australian did go to Turkey to look for his son's grave and they sent him away.

Connor was able to locate his sons in a country that is "one big grave." Crowe did a good job as an older and more humble man than his usual roles. Model Olga Kurylenko plays the innkeeper who becomes an undeveloped love interest for Crowe. Good Drama with war background.

No swearing, sex, or nudity. Some war scenes. 3 wins at Australian Film Institute awards.


Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (Unrated)
Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (Unrated)
DVD
Price: $13.99

2.0 out of 5 stars EVERYTHING IS LIKE TERMINATOR, March 1, 2015
Lou (Rob Corddry) starts Lougle and becomes an obnoxious billionaire. During a party Lou gets shot in the nads and the group hops in the time machine to prevent the fatal event only to find themselves in the future looking for the killer. The film has a number of bad scenes that didn't work. There were long exhausting references to other films as well as a boring "you look like..." episode. The film drops plenty of F-bombs, has one scene of man swinging his genitals that lacked the humor it pretended to have and a lone set of boobs (Bianca Haase ?).

The film was generally crude with many attempts at homosexual humor that should amuse the most immature among us. the film was idiotic and a waste. Worse than "Hangover 3"

Wait for a cheap rental.


Tracers - Trailer
Tracers - Trailer
Offered by Short-form Videos
Price: $0.00

2.0 out of 5 stars TRY TO KEEP UP, March 1, 2015
This review is from: Tracers - Trailer
Cam (Taylor Lautner) is a NYC bike messenger. He owes the Chinese mafia money and his bicycle just got wreaked by Nikki (Marie Avgeropoulos) an aloof parkopur (free running urban acrobats) beauty. Cam, who is athletic, trains himself and joins the group lead by Miller (Adam Rayner). The group does more than run as they rob bad guys which creates issues.

Everyone in the group seems to have a lame secret they hide. The plot is thin as the film is consumed with kids running and jumping. If you are into parkour, this film should have appeal to you, but for an old couch potato, there really isn't much to see.

Guide: Love scene. No F-bombs or nudity.


Tracers - Trailer
Tracers - Trailer
Offered by Short-form Videos
Price: $0.00

2.0 out of 5 stars THE BIKE IS A BALL AND CHAIN, March 1, 2015
This review is from: Tracers - Trailer
Cam (Taylor Lautner) is a NYC bike messenger. He owes the Chinese mafia money and his bicycle just got wreaked by Nikki (Marie Avgeropoulos) an aloof parkopur (free running urban acrobats) beauty. Cam, who is athletic, trains himself and joins the group lead by Miller (Adam Rayner). The group does more than run as they rob bad guys which creates issues.

Everyone in the group seems to have a lame secret they hide. The plot is thin as the film is consumed with kids running and jumping. If you are into parkour, this film should have appeal to you, but for an old couch potato, there really isn't much to see.

Guide: Love scene. No F-bombs or nudity.


THE INTRUDERS
THE INTRUDERS
DVD
Price: $3.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars HOW CAN YOU LIVE IN THAT HOUSE?, March 1, 2015
Following the death of mom, Rose (Miranda Cosgrove) and her father (Donal Logue) move from sunny California to snowy Chicago. Dad is married to his work. Rose takes psychotic meds and has trouble with the house with a history. She has dreams, hears noises, sees stuff move, has issue with the neighbors, stuck doors, and a doll's head that likes the view in different rooms of the house.

The film builds slow, in fact a bit too slow as I grew bored over stuff moving. When we figure out the mystery, which wasn't too hard to do, we realize the film is one of an overcrowded genre which gave us better productions. This was done perhaps for the kids who grew up with Miranda and never saw those other films. Not a bad film, but that will bring deja vu to seasoned viewers.

Guide: No F-bombs, sex, or nudity.


Dinosaur Island
Dinosaur Island
DVD ~ Darius Williams
Price: $19.99

3.0 out of 5 stars GRANDMA'S WHOLE LIFE, March 1, 2015
This review is from: Dinosaur Island (DVD)
Lucus (Darius Williams) is a 13 year old student who finds a quartz crystal in his grandmother's library. While flying in a plane, he encounters a mist and lands on an island with dinosaurs and 15 year old Kate (Kate Rasmussen) who has been there a while. Together they look at a few CG dinosaurs which look similar to birds with bright plumage...the latest theory.

This is clearly a kid's film. The acting was outrageously bad as was the dialogue, aimed at kids. The question is what age group? Normally the age of the kids in the film are a couple of years older than the target audience meaning tweens. I would go younger than that, maybe 8-10.

If your kid is into dinosaurs...and whose kid isn't...go for it. If your kid wants to be in the drama club, don't let them watch it.

Minor dinosaur "horror" without much intensity.


Diamond Ruff
Diamond Ruff
DVD ~ Felicia Pearson
Price: $9.96
20 used & new from $6.05

1.0 out of 5 stars SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND, March 1, 2015
This review is from: Diamond Ruff (DVD)
Diamond Ruff (Fredro Starr) grew up an orphan in the tough streets of Hartford. He has become a successful scam artist, performing Mission Impossible stuff. In spite of having tons of cash scamming people, he decides he must perform a poorly conceived armed bank robbery. During the robbery a cop (same one who shot his mom) kills the hostage in front of dozens of other cops and successfully frames Diamond who gets convicted and goes to jail for murder. While in jail we get some spiritual stuff. Diamond tries to clear himself of the murder charge because if he does he will be immediately released from prison because armed robbery is apparently a wrist slap in Connecticut.

None of the plot made any sense. The story seemed to center around bad white cops lying and framing poor innocent bank robbing, kidnapping black men with murder. Throw in a Bible verse or two and we get a really sad story of redemption.

I have no idea where these rave reviews come from. Bad plot, worse acting. Camera work and sound seemed professional enough for a low budget indie.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.


The Shift
The Shift
DVD ~ Leo Oliva
Price: $14.99
30 used & new from $7.10

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT RECOVER, March 1, 2015
This review is from: The Shift (DVD)
Kayle (Leo Oliva-writer) is a veteran male ER nurse who pops pills to help him in his hectic routine. Floyd (Danny Glover) forces Kayle to instruct newbie Amanda (Casey Fitzgerald) who finished top in her class. Amanda discovers that things are more rigorous than expected. Kayle takes his job seriously, feeling for his patient's wishes over that of the family which creates issues.

This is a gritty well acted hospital drama that deals with the suffering and terminally ill.

Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.


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