Helpful product reviews written by Amazon customers are the heart of Amazon.com, and we treasure the customers who work hard to write them. But occasionally customer creativity goes off the charts in the best possible way. Enjoy this collection of some of the funniest, top-voted reviews written by your fellow customers. (Click on the products to see which review of each was voted "most helpful" by other customers.)
"What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone?"
"Gone are the days of biting off slice-sized chunks of banana and spitting them onto a serving tray…. Next on my wish list: a kitchen tool for dividing frozen water into cube-sized chunks.”
"As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.”
"Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather."
"I believe that wearing this t-shirt has made me a better man, which is remarkable because, well....I'm a chick."
"I had a two-wolf shirt for a while and I didn't think life could get any better. I was wrong. Life got 50% better, no lie."
"I don't use it for vulgar endeavors like math or filling out a voter application, but BIC Cristal for Her is a lovely little writing utensil all the same. Ask your husband for some extra pocket money so you can buy one today!"
"This product is fantastic for those days when my prose is suffering from that not-so-fresh feeling."
"HULK SAD. HULK DEMAND BIC FOR HIM."
"It's OK Iguess, but the bumpy road majkes it hard to type. And theree's a lot of pedeestrians and traffic that keep distracting me fromm my computer."
"I love emailing the Highway patrol while I drive to let them know the tag numbers of cell phone using drivers."
"I'm using it right now to post this review and I never"
"As a wife and mother, I LOVE this binder. It keeps me in my place, allows me to get dinner ready on time, AND only costs 72% of the more masculine version."
"Let me just point out one glaring omission: While this is a lovely, multi-purpose binder, IT DOES NOT COME WITH WOMEN. Presumably one is expected to find women on one's own."
"My women… keep sticking out over the edges, even getting away in some cases. I thought using clear, glass-ceiling page protectors would help, but it doesn't seem to slow them down anymore."
"Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal? A-W-E-S-O-M-E!"
"Do you have any idea where this stuff comes from? It's excreted by squeezing the wobbly thingie on the UNDERSIDE OF A COW! That's hardly made clear anywhere on the label."
"They really need to put a warning label on this thing. Apparently, if you put it into your body, it turns into urine. Urine!"
"I was very disappointed to have my uranium confiscated at the airport. It was a gift for my son for his birthday. Also, I'm in prison now, so that's not good either."
"It is not cat food…. The cat's huge and well, doesn't really look much like a cat anymore."
"I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty."
"Just holding the packaging it comes in, I can see distant galaxies and, though you may not believe it, hear what the aliens there are thinking."
"The cable knew where to go, and hooked itself into the correct ports without help from me."
"The most horrific thing of all was that after having spent 300 years crawling to the system to unplug said cable, my brother was unable to control the sheer power of such a quality signal and like an ancient psychedelic Mr Miyagi struggling with a running fire hose, pointed the beam directly into his face."
"It's not big enough to completely cover a horse's head, and it doesn't provide enough air flow for them, either."
"By wearing this mask, I was able to get anything and everything I needed. Plenty of hay, lots of time to run and, best of all, I no longer have to wear pants."
"It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways."
"I read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined."
"It was only after it arrived that I looked closely at the title and realized it said 'How to Avoid Huge SHIPS'. A simple error that means I am still treading on massive examples of canine excrement."
"Capt. Trimmer's advice would have been immensely beneficial to humans, fish, seabirds, and other animals, but I am none of those things. I'm a big rock."
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