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Love the One You're With (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "It happened exactly one hundred days after I married Andy, almost to the minute of our half-past-three-o'clock ceremony..." (more)
Key Phrases: New York, Coney Island, Drake Watters (more...)
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (358 customer reviews)
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A chance encounter with an old flame in Giffin's bittersweet, sometimes mawkish fourth novel causes Ellen Dempsey to consider anew what could have been. Shortly after marrying Andy, Ellen runs into Leo, her intense first love. Leo, a moody writer, has secretly preoccupied Ellen ever since he broke her heart, so after seeing him again, Ellen wonders if her perfect life is truly what she wants or simply what she was expected to want. This scenario is complicated by Ellen's past: the early death of her mother and subsequent disintegration of her family have left Ellen insecure and saddled with unresolved feelings of guilt. These feelings intensify when Andy's career takes the newlyweds from Ellen's beloved New York City to suburban Atlanta. As Ellen's feelings of inadequacy and resentment grow, her marriage begins to crumble. The novel is sometimes bogged down by characters so rooted in type that they, and the story line, can only move in the most obvious trajectory. However, Giffin's self-aware narrator and focus on troubled relationships will satisfy those looking for a light women's lit fix. (May)
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Review

"Giffin’s fluid storytelling and appealing characters give her novels a warm, inviting air, and her fourth is no exception . . . Giffin’s snappy prose makes (her heroine) Ellen’s dilemma compelling, once again proving she’s at the top of the chick-lit pack." --Booklist

"Giffin delivers another relatable and multifaceted heroine who may behave unexpectedly but will ultimately find her true path. Sure to be a hit with the New York Times bestselling author’s many fans . . .” --Library Journal

"Giffin's talent lies in taking relatable situations and injecting with enough wit and suspense to make them feel fresh. The cat-and-mouse game between Ellen and Leo lights up these pages, their flirtation as dangerously addictive as a high-speed car chase. The ending isn't explosive, but what Ellen learns is quietly thrilling: Sometimes, you have to do whatever it taks to be with the one you love." --People
 
"Though it's easy to resent [Ellen] for taking [her] ideal life for granted, Giffin's vivid depictions of Ellen's steamy past with Leo help you commiserate with this realistically insecure woman." --Entertainment Weekly
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 342 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press; 1 edition (May 13, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312348673
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312348670
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (358 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #65,680 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Emily Giffin
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It happened exactly one hundred days after I married Andy, almost to the minute of our half-past-three-o'clock ceremony. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Coney Island, Drake Watters, Upper East Side, Thin Mints, Newton Avenue, Beverly Wilshire, Second Avenue, Wake Forest, Ellen Dempsey, Does Andy
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70% buy the item featured on this page:
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Customer Reviews

358 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
3.9 out of 5 stars (358 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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109 of 130 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Andy's nice and all, but I would totally bang Leo., May 28, 2008
By Riley McCarthy (Atlanta, GA USA) - See all my reviews
I am an Emily Giffin fan. I am an unabashed, unashamed Emily Giffin fan. Her books pull me in the way a good date does, attracting me with a glossy exterior but keeping me interested by revealing a surprising depth.

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH contains the usual smart, charmed female protagonist living in a rather romanticized version of New York. But, in the first chapter, Giffin does something different. She introduces us to the main character's tempting dilemma - a charged encounter on the street with a hot, old boyfriend - before even telling us her name.

The character's name is Ellen. She's so analytical that she's practically obsessive compulsive. And she spends a lot of LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH debating what she should - and should not - do about her cute, sweet husband Andy and her smoldering, brooding, dark and troubled ex-boyfriend Leo.

While Ellen's happy with Andy, she keeps thinking, "What if?"

This is the central problem of many a novel, but Giffin manages to hook the reader in with - dare I say it - some of the most erotic, intriguing flashbacks to Ellen's former relationship with Leo.

The husband Andy is a charming character, but, in Ellen's shoes, I would totally bang Leo. Giffin writes him as though he exudes sex through his eyes, through his pores. It's all very hard to resist.

And, it must be said, the inclusion of those scenes alongside many snarky references to my hometown of Atlanta kept me very entertained.

Strangely though, instead of flying all the way through it as I usually do, I flew through to Chapter Ten or so, then found myself taking a small break from it to concentrate on other things. Around the time that Ellen went to the charming, stylized Atlanta for the first time and then to photograph rock star Drake Watters, I was intrigued again.

After that, I was pulled back into the book every time that Ellen's sister Suzanne, a minor character with an edgy point-of-view, appeared on the page, though, for she was the voice I most related to in the long course of the book.

The core family of Ellen's in-laws at the center of the book, though, didn't always have my sympathies. In life, I tend to find those sorts of blessed, charmed, passive-aggressive, let's-put-on-a-smile types suspicious. Giffin makes was a very, very interesting move to have Ellen not just marry a man like Andy, but marry into her best friend and sister-in-law Margot's family. Giffin's excellent at exploring the dynamics of female friendship, and the Ellen-Margot friendship is satisfyingly complicated.

When Ellen is perplexed by her ex, she loses her chief confidante in Margot, for Margot's loyalty might go to her brother when news of what Ellen's secrets might come out.

The changing alliances of the marriage brings out Ellen's insecurity about her place, her feelings about her mother and how her own family must've felt intimidated and outmatched in comparison to the Grahams. Great, great stuff.

Of course, the protagonist Ellen might divide readers, for Ellen's in what many women would consider an ideal, supportive situation with a rich, successful and essentially sweet husband, loving in-laws, a nice house, a good career and such. Some readers might approach the book with the outset of "What the hell is she doing even thinking about infidelity when she's got it made?" But, once again, Giffin impresses by putting her protagonist squarely in the middle of what, at face value, seems like an indefensible position and manages to make her real, charming, vulnerable, reasonable and a heroine worthy of my attention as a reader and even my heart. Ellen, shockingly, considers infidelity for what feels like very valid reasons involving her heart and her choices.

It's a very smart book.
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35 of 40 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Another great book from Emily Giffin, May 17, 2008
By Melissa Niksic (Chicago, IL United States) - See all my reviews
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On the surface, Ellen Graham appears to have the perfect life. She has a successful career as a photographer and is married to Andy, a wealthy lawyer who's a fantastic guy and also happens to be the brother of Ellen's best friend, Margot. Several months after Ellen and Andy's wedding, Ellen is going about her business on the streets of New York City when she bumps into Leo, her ex-boyfriend. Ellen hasn't seen or spoken to Leo in years, but as soon as she sees him again, she can't stop thinking about him. Eventually Ellen is forced to decide if what she had with Leo so long ago is worth fighting for, or if she truly belongs with the man she walked down the aisle with.

I always enjoy Emily Giffin's books, and "Love the One You're With" is no exception. Ellen is a very relatable character. I think a lot women encounter their own Leo at some point in their lives, a man who's difficult to completely let go of, for one reason or another. However, the book was very predictable right from the start, and it was pretty obvious how everything would turn out. (There's no such thing as an unhappy ending in an Emily Giffin book!) The ending in itself seemed rather rushed, in my opinion, and I would have enjoyed a longer Ellen/Margot reconciliation scene at the end: Their friendship was a major part of the book, and the resolution between the two characters took up less than three pages at the end of the novel. Still, I enjoyed this book from beginning to end and could not put it down.
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66 of 80 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Real love is about using the heart AND the head!, May 19, 2008
By Kharabella "Kharabella" (Somewhere in the midwest . . .) - See all my reviews
Not my favorite of Ms. Giffen's books, but interestingly, it is the book that I have been most able to relate to. I understand Ellen's need to understand and process, and ulimately resolve, the difference between the love she feels for her husband, and the love she feels/felt for her ex. I think that the book's realistic yet affirming take on love marriage and commitment is a welcome read for the so called "chick lit" genre.

At the same time, I lost patience with Ellen by page 75. By page 158, I was almost angry with her for taking so long to figure it out. By page 215, I simply vowed to finish the book by the end of the day, and get it over with. Lucky for me, the ending was sweet, and everyone that mattered was happy.

I think the problem is that there was not enough action and plot, and most of the characters -- the ones that I most wanted to learn about -- were kind of flat and one-dimensional. Overall, a good read, and I will buy Ms. Giffen's next book the week it comes out as well.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Favorite Book she has written so far!
I love this author, but I especially love this book. True love isn't a fairy tale and she gets that.
Published 12 days ago by Allison

5.0 out of 5 stars Fun and thoughtful book
I mainly picked up this book because I thought it'd be an easy read, and I liked the plotline of an ex coming back into someone's life and causing emotional chaos. Read more
Published 24 days ago by Sarah Tatsutani

1.0 out of 5 stars A disappointing novel from Emily Giffin
While I have thoroughly enjoyed a couple of Emily Giffin's novels (Something Borrowed, and Something Blue), this one was a disappointment. Read more
Published 28 days ago by C. Curran

4.0 out of 5 stars Good read
This is the first Emily Griffin book that I read. Over all I enjoyed it. At times the main character's actions did become a little frustrating, yet the author was able to keep me... Read more
Published 1 month ago by MG

2.0 out of 5 stars Either have sex with him or move on! Did we really need 340 pages to decide this
I love Emily Giffin books; however, I enjoyed this far less. The main character hemmed and hawed for pages to decide would she or wouldn't ruin her marriage by sleeping with her... Read more
Published 1 month ago by A. Cormier

4.0 out of 5 stars A fun beach read
Not a thought provoking long lasting book or anything, but a fun book, that all girls will easily relate to. Read more
Published 1 month ago by A. Dayal

5.0 out of 5 stars good read
this book is a good reminder of why you got married after so many years
Published 1 month ago

2.0 out of 5 stars Unwitty and Predictable
After being a big fan of Emily Giffin's prior works, I had assumed this one would fall right into place. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Teresa Reilly

3.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing
While I loved "Baby Proof" and "Something Borrowed," I couldn't get into "Love the One You're With." I forced myself to read it, and because I don't like to leave a book once I've... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Gwynne Young

5.0 out of 5 stars love the one you're with
I think she is an amazing writer - i haven't read a lot of chick lit - she was my first -
i couldn't get enough of her books, characters, and great plots! Read more
Published 2 months ago by Jeannie Gilgenberg

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