A Promise to Ourselves and over 400,000 other books are available for Amazon Kindle – Amazon’s new wireless reading device. Learn more

 

or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
 
 
Express Checkout with PayPhrase
What's this? | Create PayPhrase
More Buying Choices
92 used & new from $0.75
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
 
   
A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce
 
 
Share your own customer images
Search inside this book
Start reading A Promise to Ourselves on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don’t have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.
 
  

A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce (Hardcover)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: bob kaufman, alienating parent, family law system, Los Angeles, New York, Judge Paul (more...)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
List Price: $24.95
Price: $16.47 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details
You Save: $8.48 (34%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Want it delivered Wednesday, February 10? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details
46 new from $3.82 41 used from $0.75 5 collectible from $34.75

Formats

 Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $9.99   -- --
Hardcover, Bargain Price $9.73   $7.38 $4.45
Hardcover, September 23, 2008 $16.47   $3.82 $0.75
Paperback $10.79   $4.98 $4.60

Frequently Bought Together

A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce + Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex + Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)
Price For All Three: $49.70

Show availability and shipping details

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

by Richard Ades Warshak
4.8 out of 5 stars (82)  $10.19
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)

Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)

by Amy J. L. Baker
4.9 out of 5 stars (47)  $23.04
Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family

Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family

by Stephen Baskerville
4.9 out of 5 stars (61)  $16.06
Behind the Black Robes: Failed Justice

Behind the Black Robes: Failed Justice

by Barbara C. Johnson
4.4 out of 5 stars (8)  $23.99
Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children From Parental Alienation

Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children From Parental Alienation

by Douglas Darnall
4.6 out of 5 stars (19)  $10.17
› Explore similar items

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Vivid [and] deeply felt.” —The New York Times Book Review

“Told with intelligence and passion . . . This book is a must.” —Raoul Felder, The Huffington Post

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Product Description

“I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation,” Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

An Academy and Tony Award nominee and a 2007 recipient of Golden Globe, SAG, and Television Critics Association Awards for best actor in a comedy, Alec Baldwin is one of the best-known, most successful actors in the world. His relationship with Kim Basinger, the Academy Award–winning actress, lasted nearly a decade. They have a daughter named Ireland, and for a time, theirs seemed to be the model of a successful Hollywood marriage. But in 2000 they separated and in 2002 divorced. Their split---specifically the custody battle surrounding Ireland---would be the subject of media attention for years to come.

In his own life and others’, Baldwin has seen the heavy toll that divorce can take---psychologically, emotionally, and financially. He has been extensively involved in divorce litigation, and he has witnessed the way that noncustodial parents, especially fathers, are often forced to abandon hopes of equitable rights when it comes to their children. He makes a powerful case for reexamining and changing the way divorce and child custody is decided in this country and levels a scathing attack at what he calls the “family law industry.”

When it comes to his experiences with judges, court-appointed therapists, and lawyers, Baldwin pulls no punches. He casts a light on his own divorce and the way the current family law system affected him, his ex-wife, and his daughter, as well as many other families. This is an important, informative, and deeply felt book on a contentious subject that offers hope of finding a better way.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press (September 23, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312363362
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312363369
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 5.8 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #92,033 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

    #24 in  Books > Nonfiction > Law > Family & Health Law > Divorce & Separation
    #74 in  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Divorce

    •  Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?

More About the Author

Alec Baldwin
Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

› Visit Amazon's Alec Baldwin Page
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Surprise Me!
Search Inside This Book:
Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
bob kaufman, alienating parent, family law system, collateral witnesses, target parent, parental alienation, summer visitation, alienated parent, custody evaluator, custody litigation, custody evaluation
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Los Angeles, New York, Judge Paul, Van Pelt, Recent Trends, Good Mike, Judge Robbins, Long Island, Vicki Greene, Richard Gardner, Marcia Rydell, United States, Kentish Town, Judge Nelson, Alan Yellin, Dennis Wasser, Roy Paul, Saddam Hussein, Jane Shatz, Divorce Litigation
Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Surprise Me!
Search Inside This Book:

What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?

A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce
86% buy the item featured on this page:
A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce 4.5 out of 5 stars (53)
$16.47
Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex
8% buy
Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex 4.8 out of 5 stars (82)
$10.19
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)
4% buy
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book) 4.9 out of 5 stars (47)
$23.04
Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children From Parental Alienation
2% buy
Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children From Parental Alienation 4.6 out of 5 stars (19)
$10.17
Explore similar items

Tags Customers Associate with This Product

 (What's this?)
Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
 
(13)
(13)
(12)
(12)
(11)
(7)
(5)
(4)
(3)
(2)
Agree with these tags?
See all 16 tags...

Your tags: Add your first tag
 
See most popular tags
 

Customer Reviews

53 Reviews
5 star:
 (40)
4 star:
 (8)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:
 (2)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (53 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
45 of 52 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Shows the California courts in a true light, September 23, 2008
By Jay (Omaha, NE) - See all my reviews
Speaking from experience and as a woman, Mr. Baldwin is right when he relates to the CA courts as a woman's court. Fathers are treated as second class citizens and then mothers and children complain when the father's no longer stay in contact. Trust me, at some point you just want to ask the judge, "How much to not see the kid at all?" Wealth or not Alec Baldwin has got this one right.

The previous reviewer needs to READ THE BOOK instead of watching interviews and judging Mr. Baldwin's political beliefs. I doubt if he understands the California Family Court system all the way from Sweden.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews  
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


 
31 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Brave Story, October 5, 2008
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
And it's not easy to speak of these matters in contemporary America, but Baldwin's line about being pulled into the American family law system is akin to being tied to a truck and then dragged down a gravel road late is excellent. As he put it, no one can hear your cries, and it is not over until they say it is. I'm sorry that Mr. Baldwin had to go through what he did but hope that this memoir/analytical work sways minds and adds to the preponderance of the evidence concerning the lack of justice men now find in our courts of law. Protecting women is fine but the juridical operationalization of this notion has resulted in the persecution of the opposite sex. People need to be aware about what's going on so I'm appreciative that Baldwin is using his fame for the worthy and noble purpose of generating awareness. The great thing about this book is that the author does more than tell his own story. He includes the narratives of several men who experienced the same horrors he did. In conclusion, I'm very grateful Mr. Baldwin has graced us with this publication.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews  
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


 
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Not a loving divorce, October 10, 2008
By rgmb "rgmb" (White Plains, New York) - See all my reviews
I couldn't put the book down! It's well written and reads like a novel page turner, filled with suspense, intensity of emotions, and drama.

Having just completed a divorce myself as a mother of two where I kept not only the welfare of my girls' future emotional and psychological well-being primary, I also considered with utmost care the feelings of their father that I could no longer stay married to. So this meant that we took our time with mediation, we personally served our papers to one another, and shared in 50/50 joint custody. We agreed to all this and more not only for our children but for our own individual futures. This has kept our family emotionally whole and now a year later are thriving as a new kind of family! Unfortunately, as just one example in the book, this was not the same for Kim Basinger who had Alec Baldwin served with their Separation Papers, which is more a punch to the gut than most women (and men when reversed) realize. How can anyone respond without retaliation, swords drawn and ready for battle? And then, of course, how can one not eventually lose control of one's anger when legal minefields release destruction and anguish at every step along the way. Sure Alec was wrong to hurl such words and accusations at his daughter on the phone, but I can see the path to that call more clearly now. So sad. Oh yes, and BTW, "leaking" that call to the public had to have been horribly painful for their daughter--and all for what? To show Alec as a bad man? Surely there was no consideration whatsoever for the child!

And then the climax of using and abusing the legal system to inflict the parental alienation tactics I think is reprehensible. Unless the target parent is abusive in some way or involved in drugs or crime, I can't think of any justifiable reason to inflict such pain on both the parent and child! To me then what this book represents is more than a legal system where fathers' rights take back seat, and quite obviously that's painfully true, it represents more a world where many mothers (and fathers too) fail to fully comprehend the possible permanent damage they do to their children through their intentional or unintentional Parental Alienation (Syndrome). Sure it's painful and frightening facing a future alone, but our children are NOT our emotional keepers and it's up to us to teach them resilience, strength, and compassion, not manipulation and hate. In the meantime though, I advocate changes to our legal system where children aren't abused in this way!

And so I wonder why we've become so self-absorbed or damaged to not see the obvious manipulations of the divorce legal system that helps to escalate these types of damaging scenarios. I could see it when I visited my first referred barracuda divorce attorney. It was then and there that I decided that a loving divorce was the only ethical and moral journey for all of us. Thank God!

And so we did it and not only is it possible (through hard work), it should be a new norm. I wish Alec and Kim could have enjoyed a loving divorce by doing what became some of our strict tenets which were all based upon the foundations of compassion and empathy: 1) Shun at all cost the temptation to litigate, unless there's no other option, through mediation! 2) Share equal custody with your ex-spouse, keeping ALL parent-child relationships intact, exceptions noted above. 3)And speak kindly of and civilly toward your ex-spouse to your children and others (even if you feel completely the opposite). Otherwise, we're all destined to break not only our promises to ourselves but everyone else in our lives and society. Our country may be falling apart financially because of greed, but let us at least cling to some sort of societal decency where our families aren't destined to a similar demise.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews  
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
 
 
 
Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Read
Frankly, I think Baldwin is probably a bit of a nut, just like his ex-wife, but this book shines a light on the all too real problems with the Family Law Industry. Worth reading.
Published 3 days ago by Snarky

5.0 out of 5 stars Peeling back the layers of this vial liberal narcissist I was actually surprised!
I read this book on a recommendation from a close friend......a close non-liberal friend, as I would have never uttered Alec Baldwins name let alone pony up the coin to listen to... Read more
Published 4 days ago by John D. Hollingsworth

5.0 out of 5 stars A Heart-Wrenching Tale
Alec Baldwin is an eloquent writer and his story is gripping. This book was a great, easy read. I was particularly impressed by the fact that he did not drag his ex-wife's name... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Theresa L.

5.0 out of 5 stars a very bitter pill indeed
There is no way for a guy to express how hard it is to see the kids leave his house and go "home" to mom. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Good dad

4.0 out of 5 stars thank you for this book!
Excellent insights into the divorce process and child custody. Mr. Baldwin's insights into the painful process was very interesting and enlightening (even though it is at a... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Anya Sherwood

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book for it's subject matter
Very good book and well written. He didn't spend a lot of time finding fault with his ex-wife - he just pointed out what it is like to be on the side of the non-custodial parent... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Klassy Books

5.0 out of 5 stars Makes One in the Midst of it Feel Somewhat Better
Baldwin writes straight from the heart as he tries to make sense of senseless custody battles waged by parents who put their own emotional needs before those of their children... Read more
Published 2 months ago by A Reader

4.0 out of 5 stars I can relate to Alec's experience firsthand
After purchasing and reading this book I realized that I have encountered most of the same inequities with my 2 children as Mr. Baldwin did regarding Ireland his daughter. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Bob A. - Valking5

4.0 out of 5 stars Fathers' Rights Mr. Baldwin & Ohio
Alec Baldwin never wanted to write this book, but he was forced to take up his pen by the racket operating under the guise of the Los Angeles court system. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Anne C. Harvey

5.0 out of 5 stars VERY INTERESTING
This is a very interesting and disturbing book. I cannot help but sympathize with Baldwin and with any man dealing with a maniac ex wife.
Published 6 months ago by Adam Sacks

Only search this product's reviews


Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
Does high conflict in family court leave a lasting effect on parents? 8 September 2008
› See all discussions...  
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
   

Listmania!


Create a Listmania! list

Product Information from the Amapedia Community

Beta (What's this?)

Look for Similar Items by Category

Look for Similar Items by Subject

Search Books by subject:




























i.e., each book must be in subject 1 AND subject 2 AND ...
 

Feedback

If you need help or have a question for Customer Service, contact us.
 Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
Is there any other feedback you would like to provide?

Your comments can help make our site better for everyone.


Your Recent History

 (What's this?)

After viewing product detail pages or search results, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in.