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Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser
 
 
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Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser (Paperback)

~ (Author), Daniel Goldfarb (Author) "It was probably something sweet-a turned smile, a joke told with glorious manner, maybe a moment of compassion for your asphalt-branded knee, or perhaps the..." (more)
Key Phrases: past girlfriends, date scores, Red Flag, Yellow Flag, Total Score Score (more...)
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)

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Frequently Bought Together

Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser + How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved + The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control
Price For All Three: $28.71

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  • This item: Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser by Gary S. Aumiller

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  • How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved by Sandra L. Brown

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  • The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control by Dorothy McCoy

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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Aumiller and Goldfarb have based this book on their experiences as psychologists. They've seen firsthand how women can be led astray by the "Losers" they date or even marry, and their aim is to help women spot dead-end relationships before they get into them too deeply. Because they've treated "Losers" in their practices and because they've done work with the police in establishing profiles of deviant personalities, the authors have been able to differentiate among various classes of "Losers." They've come up with 25 different categories of "Loser," from the Abuser to the Wanderer, and also supply a set of quizzes for each type so that the reader can tell if her blind date really isn't worth pursuing. The cleverly themed chapters are short and easy to read, and the quizzes do seem to be grounded in the forensic psychology that the authors practice. Certainly worth buying for public libraries if there is interest.APamela A. Matthews, Gettysburg Coll. Lib., PA
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.


Product Description

Is he a Leech? Or Mr. Ego? Or The Burdened Beast? Learn the twenty-five different loser types of men and how to send them out of your life!

Sure he's gorgeous, funny, and charming--but early in any doomed relationship there are warning signals foretelling the bad news to come. Studies show that most women will try to justify these signs, excusing them so they don't interfere with their fantasy of having met the perfect man. Unfortunately, such signs are usually all too prophetic--they are the essence of what Drs. Gary Aumiller and Daniel Goldfarb call "Red Flags." The question then becomes how to detect and respond to a Red Flag before it's too late. This first-of-its-kind book will help readers determine a man's all-important "loser potential" within the first three dates.

Each chapter includes a profile of a different loser, a post-date quiz to help you determine if Mr. Right is Mr. Wrong, and important information about the best way to break up with him. Red Flags has all the fun of a magazine quiz combined with the expertise of psychologists who specialize in the techniques used by the police to profile criminals. They know how to spot the rejects--and now you will, too!

"After reading Red Flags you'll never be stuck in a bad relationship again. Thank you, Doctors Aumiller and Goldfarb, for writing the book every dating woman needs!"--Sharyn Wolf, author of Guerrilla Dating Tactics

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Plume (September 1, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0452281172
  • ISBN-13: 978-0452281172
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #152,106 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category: (What's this?)

    #85 in  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Dating

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Gary S. Aumiller
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
It was probably something sweet-a turned smile, a joke told with glorious manner, maybe a moment of compassion for your asphalt-branded knee, or perhaps the offer of half a peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwich when you forgot your lunch. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
past girlfriends, date scores
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Red Flag, Yellow Flag, Total Score Score, Burdened Beast, Quiet Man, Bug-Eyed Boy, Friendships Has, Past Relationships Talks, Body Language Very, Behavior Tries, Friendships Friends
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Customer Reviews

35 Reviews
5 star:
 (16)
4 star:
 (6)
3 star:
 (4)
2 star:
 (3)
1 star:
 (6)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.7 out of 5 stars (35 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
48 of 53 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars A fortune cookie approach to personality, September 9, 2000
By A Customer
As a single woman, I devour books like these. This one disappointed me. At its heart is the notion that there are easily-codified, distinct 'types' of bad-news men, and that with the proper preparation, a woman can recognize them in order to steer clear! It all makes sense, but it's awfully simplistic, and therefore not terribly enlightening in the long run.

If a companion volume were written for men about "loser" women, I believe that we women (who, let's face it, are the primary readers of most of these books, whether they are directed at males or females) would be enraged - and rightfully so. The authors take discrete negative traits and enlarge and universalize them so that they become the defining aspects of personality. Much is ignored in this process.

I do not think that this book is more than a fun read. I think that often, people we love may have a number of annoying traits, but many others which can balance the negatives quite well. And it's in that balancing that couples often find their good relationship.

I gave this book only 3 atars, because it's just too simplistic.

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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars got it for Sis, March 29, 2000
I enjoyed this book immensely - in fact, I bought a 2nd copy for my (college freshman) sister! I told her there are some generalities, but if taken within the context of a pattern this book is a unique way of informing ourselves about the men we date. Additionally, it prompts us to look at our new guy intellectually, as well as emotionally, and make a decision with our heads, not solely our hearts.

I do agree there are too many "man-bashing" books out there - I'd LOVE to see this book written for men and the women they should look out for.

I found, looking back at a 10-year relationship I left with much difficulty,that there WERE signs of future conflicts. I'd ignored those things because I didn't have much dating experience (so he lives with his parents, they're a close family . . ), and no one to guide me through the dating jungle!

Read with a dash of common sense - every man's circumstances are different and that has to be taken into consideration - this book is very helpful. Thanks for a great book.

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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!, November 17, 2004
Sure, you need to take some of this advice with a grain of salt, but the reason that men have gotten away with a lot of the stuff they've pulled is because women put up with it. It's eye-opening to read this book and see so many people you've known described down to the smallest detail. Women deserve to be treated well. This book helps identify the men who aren't going to do that.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars yes
i'm beginning to understand now...

there are some things that you deal with and some things that are major character flaws that signal "game over" for that particular... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Holly C. Cooper

2.0 out of 5 stars A pretty typical, run-of-the-mill pop psychology book.
This book is somewhat amusing both in that it points out certain truths about the world yet is crudely simplistic and over-exaggerated in its cartoon-like categorizations of men... Read more
Published 12 months ago by B. C. Leske

4.0 out of 5 stars The Beauty is in its Simplicity
My best friend had recently ended a long-term relationship and had picked up this book for a laugh, more than anything else. Read more
Published 16 months ago by S. C. Patton

3.0 out of 5 stars GOod book
Tells you everything that if you listen to your gut you already know. BUT IT DOES GIVE YOU WAYS TO GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP if you didn't listen to your gut to begin with,. Read more
Published 21 months ago by A. Kerlinger

4.0 out of 5 stars Works for me
Red Flags assesses various loser dude types quickly and concisely, and that works for me. My loser dude scored 60 on the Mr. Neglecter test, and close to that on Mr. Ego. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Cedric's Mom

4.0 out of 5 stars Gotta Have it BOTH Ways...
There are so many books available on Amazon & the public Library that are guides for Women avoiding "bad" Men, but how many are out there that do the opposite??? Read more
Published on January 29, 2007 by Ramsay Macinnes

4.0 out of 5 stars Great Help!
This book has helped me through a lot of bad times. Would recommend to any in a relationship that you feel is at a stand still. The guidance is helpful.
Published on January 11, 2007 by C. Wright-Citrone

5.0 out of 5 stars i really don't wanna put a title
To the other reviewers here: I can't believe you actually needed the book to outline specifically that you're not SUPPOSED to follow all the guidelines... Read more
Published on November 14, 2005 by Lorelei

1.0 out of 5 stars Wrong idea
This book is just too simplistic in its recipes for detecting the wrong man. Basically, it assumes that all women want to marry the same type of "ideal" man. Read more
Published on March 27, 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a great dating tool
Some reviewers of this book think that it is a man-bashing extravaganza. I don't think that's true. The authors are clear that there are lots of great guys out there (most women... Read more
Published on December 7, 2003

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