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Why You're Still Single (Paperback)

~ (Author), Linda Holmes (Author) "If you're not committed to getting this thing right, putting in the necessary effort to meet men, and bouncing back each time something goes wrong,..." (more)
Key Phrases: Two Become One, Just Love Your Shoes, Linda There
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
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Frequently Bought Together

Why You're Still Single + If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever + Why Mr. Right Can't Find You: The Surprising Answers that will Change your Life...and His
Price For All Three: $36.02

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Editorial Reviews

Review

A must-read for all singles! This book is like one big 'Aha!' moment. -- Rachel Greenwald, author of Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School, New York Times Bestseller

Mixing humor with practical tips, the authors pack a lot of relevant information into this slim volume. -- Library Journal

Puts itself at the head of the class by proving it's possible to let readers laugh while they learn. -- Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First and Be Honest- You're Not That Into Him Either


Product Description

This book isn’t about catching men or reeling anybody in. Catching is for nine-year-olds playing freeze tag, and reeling is for trout. This is about you, considering the possibility that you’re tripping over your own feet—no matter how much of an amazing, smart, hot, totally worthwhile ass-kicker you may be as a general rule. Some food for thought:

• Don’t be the "men are pigs" woman. She’s boring. She’s unhappy. And the good men don’t want her.
• Don’t demand the right to set arbitrary rules, let alone change them every five minutes. Act like a crazy person and you’ll be treated like one.
• Realize when he doesn’t want to talk and give him that space. Men don’t usually feel the need to share as much. Respect that or watch him shut down even more.

. . . In other words: If you’re looking for a different approach, this book has one.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Plume (May 30, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0452287383
  • ISBN-13: 978-0452287389
  • Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #59,705 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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More About the Author

Evan Marc Katz
Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

› Visit Amazon's Evan Marc Katz Page
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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If you're not committed to getting this thing right, putting in the necessary effort to meet men, and bouncing back each time something goes wrong, you're not a good candidate for a partner. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Two Become One, Just Love Your Shoes, Linda There
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Customer Reviews

27 Reviews
5 star:
 (15)
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 (5)
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Average Customer Review
3.9 out of 5 stars (27 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
64 of 72 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars "Desperation knows no gender boundaries.", May 30, 2006
By Luan Gaines "luansos" (Dana Point, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)      


This clever book addresses dating negatives or stumbling blocks from both the male and female perspective with suggestions on how to turn them into positive, mutually reinforcing attributes. According to the authors, everything has an opposite; this guide attempts to dissect the common stereotypical negatives and reframe them into positive, action-oriented approaches. Each chapter deals with particular obstacles, providing the male and female response to overcoming common problems in a manner that is empowering and personally instructive. But it is your journey in the end. The topics are spicy: The Desperation Tango, Women Who Hate Men Who Hate Women, Everything You Say Can and Will Be Used against You, Good Girls Don't and Deal Breakers, to name but a few. Plainspoken and to the point, the guide is simple, practical, and above all, positive, the real message valuable beyond the humorous rhetoric.

Linda Holmes is Paula Abdul to Evan Marc Katz's Simon, but this isn't a competition, it's a journey and one that offers many helpful lessons if defenses are removed. Every blunt word Evan utters, Linda tempers, smoothing the edges and reworking the dialog into female-friendly advice that women will easily relate to. It is interesting to note how each author, male and female, perceive the obstacles, the Venus and Mars approach, but both are written with an eye to solutions. In a conversational tone, each issue is discussed, all couched in the current pop rhetoric that is so familiar to the dating scene. Clearly, these are common sense approaches, but sometimes people need extra help sorting through the baggage of old behavior before moving on to the new and improved. The remarks may be couched in yin and yang, but the intent is the same, a fresh look at the dating scene, armed with the tools for a successful endeavor.

Some of the suggestions: Don't isolate- go out into the world when you can and interact; Desperation is a recipe for failure- don't set a wedding date the first time you meet him; Don't generalize- "all men are dogs"- treat each new date as an individual, not a means to an end; Insecurity is unattractive- instead, learn to know and love yourself to attract a like-minded person (we attract what we are); Don't mistake emotional clutter for emotional complexity (!!!); Have the confidence to say no without guilt and weigh the other person's reaction and willingness to consider your beliefs and opinions. These are only a few of the many ideas worth serious consideration. Seem like too tall an order? Not if you are stuck in a rut and seriously need to rework your dating skills. There are enough small gems in these pages to reinvigorate even the most pitiful dating repertoire. It's all in the perspective. Luan Gaines/ 2006.
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35 of 41 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars An "Aha!" Moment Ensues, August 5, 2006
By D.S. White (Whitehall, PA USA) - See all my reviews
*About the Book:*

The subtitle: "things your friends would tell you if you promised not to get mad" is quite on target because certain chapters either make you mad at yourself or at your friends and family for never pointing them out, whether you got mad or not. The book is divided into eight sections:

I. You're knocking Yourself Out of the Game
II. You're Just Not That into Yourself
III. You're Being a Bitch
IV. You Know How to Be the Girl Friend, but Not the Girlfriend
V. You're the Patron Saint of Lost Causes
VI. You Fight Like a Girl
VII. You're Boring Him in the Bedroom
VIII. You're Missing the Signals for When to Get Out ... and When to Stick Around

Armed with a sense of cheek and at times downright irreverance, the authors take you through a journey of contemplation, emphasizing your sense of worth and the bottom line, you have a right to choice: to be single or not and to be a happy single or not.

Key positives: (For me)

**The authors' voice is that of everyday folk who happen to be single and not gods on a pedestal who have rarified advice to share.
**The authors themselves are still single so you're not hearing about being single from someone who sleeps with a human blanket.
**The authors keep it real (translation: blunt). At times a little too real (for me) in terms of language and approach to topic.
**The book encompasses the male and female point of view, therefore is not one-sided.

Key Negatives: (For me)

**Irreverence.
**Blue language.

Rating:

This book earned 4 out 5 stars for humor, honesty and sustained relevance throughout the book.
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18 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm gonna hit on 20!, May 31, 2006
I consider myself a pretty enlightened person. I read a lot, I care about others, I don't take up two parking spots. I am a great catch! It was only when I picked up "Why you're still Single," that I realized why such a generous gal was, well, still single. I LOVED this book! It was astute and wise without being condescending; and entertaining without being corny. I found myself unable to put it down! Evan and Linda's "he said/she said" was so witty and smart that it felt less like I was reading a self help book, and more like I was getting advice from a couple really good friends. It was also really nice to get a man's perspective, without feeling like he is pointing a finger. I feel like if you are open to change and constantly striving to be a better friend, lover, girlfriend, or wife, and you feel like you are continuously devolving into the same negative patterns in your relationships, then you need to read this book. There is something helpful for everyone, attached or not. It is just good life advice. And for those of us who consider ourselves "enlightened," it is just one more reason to get out there and keep trying. Because, like Evan says, "You can't change men, or make them buy self help books, you can only change yourself." And I think that is a great place to start.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Some good advice
Interesting book with good advice, It can help many people to understand the problem. It can help you to reflect on your way of looking at life. Read more
Published 4 days ago by S. Nassir Navab

3.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable read with some useful advice
I picked up a copy of this book because I am a fan of Evan Marc Katz's articles and blog. Much of the advice written here is common sense for down-to-earth women, however, I see... Read more
Published 12 months ago by Anne-Lise

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
Having read several books on dating, I highly recommend this one maybe even if you aren't single. Hugely insightful and covers all the bases in dating. Read more
Published 24 months ago by onewisewoman

1.0 out of 5 stars Nothing New
Nothing new and not even funny (which seems to be the main intent). Much too focused on generalizing about women's flaws and how these supposedly limit chances for relationships... Read more
Published 24 months ago by Julie S.C.Y,

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book - Title Could Be Better
I really enjoyed this book, and the only thing that is disappointing is the title because the book speaks to all of us whether we are single or not. Read more
Published on September 3, 2007 by reader

4.0 out of 5 stars Witty and wise!
I picked up this book and couldn't put it down. EMK is a smart and funny writer who never pretends to know more than his readers, even though he does. Love it!
Published on August 14, 2007 by Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Rela...

1.0 out of 5 stars The Real Reason Women Fall for Jerks
Here we go again; another self-help book for the whining Bridgett Jones in all of you, complete with another explanantion for why you fall for jerks. Read more
Published on August 3, 2007 by Joseph W. Hlebica

2.0 out of 5 stars Not really for men
I read all the previous reviews before buying this book and I was geniunely excited about purchasing it because someone earlier said that even if you're a guy or gal, you can find... Read more
Published on June 29, 2007 by John Wheeler

4.0 out of 5 stars Very funny but true book
This book is very funny but it has true reasons on why we are single.
Published on April 23, 2007 by enjoli

4.0 out of 5 stars Pretty Good....
It was actually pretty good. It helped me look at things a bit differently, and examine a few repetitive dating errors I have. I really liked the male/female prospective. Read more
Published on January 29, 2007 by Gwinna

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