Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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63 of 71 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
"Desperation knows no gender boundaries.", May 30, 2006
This clever book addresses dating negatives or stumbling blocks from both the male and female perspective with suggestions on how to turn them into positive, mutually reinforcing attributes. According to the authors, everything has an opposite; this guide attempts to dissect the common stereotypical negatives and reframe them into positive, action-oriented approaches. Each chapter deals with particular obstacles, providing the male and female response to overcoming common problems in a manner that is empowering and personally instructive. But it is your journey in the end. The topics are spicy: The Desperation Tango, Women Who Hate Men Who Hate Women, Everything You Say Can and Will Be Used against You, Good Girls Don't and Deal Breakers, to name but a few. Plainspoken and to the point, the guide is simple, practical, and above all, positive, the real message valuable beyond the humorous rhetoric.
Linda Holmes is Paula Abdul to Evan Marc Katz's Simon, but this isn't a competition, it's a journey and one that offers many helpful lessons if defenses are removed. Every blunt word Evan utters, Linda tempers, smoothing the edges and reworking the dialog into female-friendly advice that women will easily relate to. It is interesting to note how each author, male and female, perceive the obstacles, the Venus and Mars approach, but both are written with an eye to solutions. In a conversational tone, each issue is discussed, all couched in the current pop rhetoric that is so familiar to the dating scene. Clearly, these are common sense approaches, but sometimes people need extra help sorting through the baggage of old behavior before moving on to the new and improved. The remarks may be couched in yin and yang, but the intent is the same, a fresh look at the dating scene, armed with the tools for a successful endeavor.
Some of the suggestions: Don't isolate- go out into the world when you can and interact; Desperation is a recipe for failure- don't set a wedding date the first time you meet him; Don't generalize- "all men are dogs"- treat each new date as an individual, not a means to an end; Insecurity is unattractive- instead, learn to know and love yourself to attract a like-minded person (we attract what we are); Don't mistake emotional clutter for emotional complexity (!!!); Have the confidence to say no without guilt and weigh the other person's reaction and willingness to consider your beliefs and opinions. These are only a few of the many ideas worth serious consideration. Seem like too tall an order? Not if you are stuck in a rut and seriously need to rework your dating skills. There are enough small gems in these pages to reinvigorate even the most pitiful dating repertoire. It's all in the perspective. Luan Gaines/ 2006.
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35 of 41 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
An "Aha!" Moment Ensues, August 5, 2006
*About the Book:*
The subtitle: "things your friends would tell you if you promised not to get mad" is quite on target because certain chapters either make you mad at yourself or at your friends and family for never pointing them out, whether you got mad or not. The book is divided into eight sections:
I. You're knocking Yourself Out of the Game
II. You're Just Not That into Yourself
III. You're Being a Bitch
IV. You Know How to Be the Girl Friend, but Not the Girlfriend
V. You're the Patron Saint of Lost Causes
VI. You Fight Like a Girl
VII. You're Boring Him in the Bedroom
VIII. You're Missing the Signals for When to Get Out ... and When to Stick Around
Armed with a sense of cheek and at times downright irreverance, the authors take you through a journey of contemplation, emphasizing your sense of worth and the bottom line, you have a right to choice: to be single or not and to be a happy single or not.
Key positives: (For me)
**The authors' voice is that of everyday folk who happen to be single and not gods on a pedestal who have rarified advice to share.
**The authors themselves are still single so you're not hearing about being single from someone who sleeps with a human blanket.
**The authors keep it real (translation: blunt). At times a little too real (for me) in terms of language and approach to topic.
**The book encompasses the male and female point of view, therefore is not one-sided.
Key Negatives: (For me)
**Irreverence.
**Blue language.
Rating:
This book earned 4 out 5 stars for humor, honesty and sustained relevance throughout the book.
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18 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I'm gonna hit on 20!, May 31, 2006
I consider myself a pretty enlightened person. I read a lot, I care about others, I don't take up two parking spots. I am a great catch! It was only when I picked up "Why you're still Single," that I realized why such a generous gal was, well, still single. I LOVED this book! It was astute and wise without being condescending; and entertaining without being corny. I found myself unable to put it down! Evan and Linda's "he said/she said" was so witty and smart that it felt less like I was reading a self help book, and more like I was getting advice from a couple really good friends. It was also really nice to get a man's perspective, without feeling like he is pointing a finger. I feel like if you are open to change and constantly striving to be a better friend, lover, girlfriend, or wife, and you feel like you are continuously devolving into the same negative patterns in your relationships, then you need to read this book. There is something helpful for everyone, attached or not. It is just good life advice. And for those of us who consider ourselves "enlightened," it is just one more reason to get out there and keep trying. Because, like Evan says, "You can't change men, or make them buy self help books, you can only change yourself." And I think that is a great place to start.
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