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Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love Paperback – December 9, 2004

81 customer reviews

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Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love + Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love + Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Holt Paperbacks; Reprint edition (January 2, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0805077960
  • ISBN-13: 978-0805077964
  • Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (81 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #65,368 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 46 people found the following review helpful By Dr. Lee D. Carlson HALL OF FAMEVINE VOICE on April 9, 2005
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
The one thing one can say with confidence before reading this book is that love is universal: it affects everyone on this planet and everyone that has ever lived. Love can occur spontaneously or it can be chosen, and it can be responsible for much pleasure, as well as much pain. It is so common that its celebration has become the topic of countless novels and platitudes, as well as embedded in a myriad of cliches. But can there be a science of love, i.e. can love be examined for example using the frameworks of cognitive neuroscience or neuropharmacology? Does love lend itself to the modus operandi of reductionism that is so characteristic of scientific research?

This book can be considered to be a first approximation to a science of love. Targeted to what has been called the "popular audience" it nevertheless gives enough references that interested readers can consult for more details. It is an interesting book, and the author has done a fine job in presenting her case for a neuroscientific theory of love. It convinces the reader that such a theory is not only possible, but also does not diminish the importance and mystique of romantic love. If indeed in the future a comprehensive neuroscientific theory of romantic love were finally developed, this would not mean that such an in-depth understanding would alter our personal interest in engaging in romance. Love poems and love stories will still be written, jilted lovers will still feel pain, and people will still seek out and find the person of their dreams.

That love is not an isolated process in the human brain is brought out with great clarity in the book. Indeed, love as a neuronal process or emotion is correlated with the emotions of jealousy, anger, and hatred, among others.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This book is really analytical. I started it but haven't gotten very far. Perhaps later.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I wish I read this book before I started mating. I am still looking for the perfect man by the smell of his t-shirt. I found him after I married him and demand to know what laundry detergent he used because I still remember the scent 13 years later. The perfect combination of a man is my husband and my boyfriend. I just have to convince them that they need to share me.
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By Steven Pickering on December 29, 2014
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
not a bad read.....
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By Trini Goddess on May 27, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Just a fantastic look into why we do what we do. BUY. I have re read and will do so again.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Soogle on February 14, 2015
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Yawn!
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0 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Rebecca of Amazon HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on October 7, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Helen Fisher has written a very interesting book on romantic love however a lot of the book is conjecture. It is also based on the Theory of Evolution which Helen Fisher claims is a fact. So this book will be a minefield for Christians.

What is interesting about this book is the discussion of norepinephrine and dopamine. It helped me understand why being in love is so addictive. I also learned a lot about the caudate nucleus but was disappointed not to learn anything more about the corpus callosum. In my experience men with a larger corpus callosum are better at conversation and have a great love of music. They also seem more romantically minded.

One thing that surprised me however was how the author made the story of Adam and Eve so romantic. So Adam chose to die with Eve!

While the author talks about people being in love as having the same basic experience I have found that falling in love is a little different each time. The feelings can be more or less intense. I've been falling in love since I was seven so I know of what I speak.

One of the things in this book that made me very angry was the story of Misha and how two dogs were separated when they were in love. How could a dog lover do that?

Anyway if you are interested in studying the complex situation of being in love then you will enjoy reading about the exquisite agony and pleasure of romantic love. Just remember that throughout the book the author claims Evolution is a fact and this denies the Creation story.

I also think that being in love with humans only prepares us for falling in love with God. Which is a much calmer and satisfying experience which brings peace to the soul.

~The Rebecca Review
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
One huge takeaway is that those strong feelings of love turn into intense rage once you start falling out of love.

Scary stuff.
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