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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone (Hardcover)

~ Mark Goulston M.D. (Author), Keith Ferrazzi (Foreword)

4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (26 customer reviews)

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Goulston (Get Out of Your Own Way at Work) returns with a primer on dealing with hard-to-reach people in virtually every scenario—defiant executives, angry employees, families in turmoil, warring couples—through use of well-honed psychological techniques. Negotiating intractable situations is like driving up a steep hill, he posits, but most of us make the mistake of creating more resistance by shifting up; downshift, and you get control, he writes. His Persuasion Cycle filters illustrative snippets from counseling sessions during which he digs into an impressive bag of tricks—Magic Paradox, Impossibility Question, Empathy Jolt—techniques like martial arts moves: potent on their own, but even more powerful when you combine them. His successful persuasion case studies include negotiating a police standoff and assisting a married couple's conflict resolution. Chapter summaries feature action steps preparing readers to encounter similar scenarios, yielding a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

[starred review] “Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and FBI hostage-negotiation trainer, Goulston provides brilliant yet doable techniques for getting through to others... This book transcends the self-help category by promoting real communication.” --Library Journal

“an impressive bag of tricks… a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful” --Publishers Weekly

"The most useful (five-star) book on communicating... Everyone can be a better communicator with the right knowledge, and this book makes learning interesting and easy." --Lindsey Novak, nationally syndicated "At Work" columnist

"It's a measure of how contentious work relationships can get that the author, a psychiatrist, draws on hostage-negotiation techniques to instruct readers on how to deal with "defiant executives, angry employees or self-destructing management teams." .... Mission accomplished." --Time Magazine

"useful and applicable techniques and strategies for everything from getting teams to work together, to handling narcissistic clients (or is that a redundancy?), and getting your message across to even the most impenetrable people" --Accounting Today

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Product Details

Hardcover: 256 pages
Publisher: AMACOM (September 15, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0814414036
ISBN-13: 978-0814414033
Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 5.9 x 1.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (26 customer reviews)

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,196 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

26 Reviews

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4.8 out of 5 stars (26 customer reviews)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Just Listen to this!, September 7, 2009

By	Peter B. Patch "Social Entrepreneur" (New York, NY) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Just Listen:

It's Labor Day, and I can't stop reading my new favorite book!

The book is `Just Listen,' by Mark Goulston.

As I read it, I find that each of his messages `hit's home' in three ways at once: it is simple to understand, easy to remember, and directly actionable. I find myself wanting to have my next big client interview right away - so I can try out these `easy to remember - easy to apply' techniques of communication.

What do I remember from the book? A series of `burning insights':

First, that my `reptile brain' (or amygdala) kicks in when I am `reactive' or `ballistic' (as I am on occasion), but if I can put a label on my feeling at that point - `I am upset' or `I am angry,' I can begin to get control over my response.

Mark carries this forward to the point where I can begin to have a `rational' conversation with myself, using my `human brain' - and, for example, with my wife(!) - but I'll leave that to him as he describes it in the book.

Key note: The point here is to `Listen to myself' and my own internal reactions. As Mark puts it, `if you want to open the lines of communication, open your own mind first.'

A second `burning insight': Make the other person `feel felt.' This one requires a kind of emotional intelligence - the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes. When you learn to do it, you will find the `barriers' to communication begin to come down, and the window (or door) to building a new possibility of relationship begin to open.

A third `burning insight': How to increase the `PEP' in your business - or your family. `PEP' stands for passion, enthusiasm, and pride. I'll give you a hint - only try this one if you've got a thick skin.

A fourth `burning insight': `How to make the impossible possible.'

I know - this one sounds like a `stretch.' It is - but that is exactly the point: It stretches our minds. This one looks at what could make something seemingly impossible into something that - while challenging - could suddenly begin to seem possible.

Once again, by changing the mental frame from which we look at a situation, new possibilities begin to emerge. That, of course, is a central message of the whole book.

But by capturing those situations in which I (we) find ourselves - or our responses - or our conversations - or our relationships (seemingly) blocked, or unworkable - Mark keeps showing ways to `untie' the Gordian knot, and make forward progress.

If you find any Gordian knots in yourself, or your communications, or your relationships - I heartily recommend this book.

It just may be the simplest, easiest - and most powerful - book I ever read.

So - try it yourself. On yourself. On your relationships. I think you'll find new possibilities, and newly achievable outcomes showing up in your life. Actually, I would bet on it.

Peter Patch (Stanford MBA, Harvard Doctoral Program in Business & Economics)

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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, Practical, Useful and a Great Read, August 27, 2009

By	Peter Winick - See all my reviews

This book is a must read for anyone that would like to decrease the frustration levels in their life and become more effective by focusing on the "other side" of communicating, listening. Written in a style that is easy to read, engaging and entertaining Dr Goulston doesn't bog you down with the typical shrink babble; instead throughout the book there are stories and examples that everyone can relate to. More importantly the tips and solutions on how to easily implement a solution are logical, practical and more importantly doable-- and they work!

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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Usable Insight, Indeed, September 7, 2009

By	Tami Conner "Instructional Designer" (Virginia) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

OK, I'll admit it. I am a Dr. Goulston fan - I read his blog "Usable Insight" regularly. Which is why I hopped on the chance to preview a copy of his latest book, "Just Listen" ... And wow! am I glad I did.

This book exceeded my expectations. "Just Listen" is engaging, enthralling, and practical. Dr. Goulston lays out a system for improving your communication style that you can live with - no "fancy-smancy-gotta-change-your-sacred-self-or-else" stuff here. Instead, Dr. Goulston provides practical, usable insight that is applicable for in both your professional and personal lives.

Who hasn't needed to give themselves a "jeckectomy" every once in a while, or move themselves mentally and emotionally from "Oh F#@& to OK"? Even before I finished reading (and re-reading) "Just Listen", I was already trying out some of the techniques from "The Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone." The "Power Thank You?" I gave my mom one, and she cried. That one simple, powerful "thank you Mom" was a breakthrough in our relationship.

And if you're looking for real-life, day-to-day business scenarios in which to apply the techniques, look no further than the section titled, "Putting It All Together: Fast Fixes for Seven Challenging Situations." These scenarios would make team-building case studies and exercises!

No matter what you pay for this book, the insights inside are PRICELESS!

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars A guide no business library should be without
JUST LISTEN: DISCOVER THE SECRET TO GETTING THROUGH TO ABSOLUTELY ANYONE shares the author's communication techniques and the secret to more effective communication. Read more

Published 7 days ago by Midwest Book Review

5.0 out of 5 stars Overcoming The Traps That Obstruct Open and Healthy Communications
Best selling author and psychiatrist, Mark Goulston, MD, brings his communications experience in handling difficult situations - interventions with suicidal and violent... Read more

Published 9 days ago by Thomas M. Loarie

5.0 out of 5 stars Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
Put simply, "Just Listen" is fabulous! It is a "must-read" for anyone who wants to enhance their relationships with others and with themselves. Read more

Published 12 days ago by Andrea Rae Levy

5.0 out of 5 stars Dr. Mark Goulston is a true thought leader who provides life changing tools in his new book, "Just Listen"!
Mark Goulston's new book, "Just Listen", has truly changed my life. Being present and truly giving someone your full attention will change your life. Read more

Published 16 days ago by Jordan Roberts

5.0 out of 5 stars Best book I read in a long time.....
Mark Goulston has hit another home run.

Just Listen provides excellent advice for how to improve your relationships with even the most difficult people. Read more

Published 17 days ago by Mark E. Warner

5.0 out of 5 stars Just Listen is like breakign the obstacles to streamlined communication
When i first started reading the book, I expected to read complicated 'shrink' slang from Mark. instead what the book is fascinating from start to finish and there's barely any... Read more

Published 17 days ago by Yves Baggi

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic Book...highly recommended for personal and professional development
This is the third book I've read by Dr. Goulston and I'm awaiting his next with anticipation. He provides simple, easy to understand insight into how listening and responding to... Read more

Published 19 days ago by Dukester

1.0 out of 5 stars Don't waste your money.
This entire book could be condensed to perhaps 10 pages. The rest is fluff. Chapter after chapter repeats the same material. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Grendel

5.0 out of 5 stars Have More Meetings of the Minds and Emotions while Avoiding Certain People
"Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Professor Donald Mitchell

5.0 out of 5 stars The most important skill for business
Whilst I don't often give 5 stars to business books, I want to reward Mark Goulston for sharing his years of training and experience developing his extraordinary listening skills... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Jorge Col�n

› See all 26 customer reviews...

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