Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Raw, gritty, and practical..., May 28, 2009
Most of the personal improvement/personal productivity books I read tend to be tightly edited how-to manuals that answer all the questions, even if nobody ever really asked them in the first place. All well and good, but you wonder how (or even if) the advice has ever been used in the real world. And then you have A User's Manual for the Human Experience by Michael W. Dean. Raw, practical, real-life, and you get it as he puts it out there.
Contents:
Greetings, Eager Seeker; New Year's Resolutions Don't Work; The Only Two Rules In Life; Practical Emotional Self-Defense; Your Rights End at My Nose; From Netiquette to Restraining Orders; No-Contact Strategy; A Resentment and a Coffee Pot; Twelve Steps? How About Two Steps!; Hardcore Recovery Without Meetings; You Have The Right to be Left Alone; Stop Being A Victim; Work Smarter; Time Management for Calm and Profit; Make a Living Doing What You Love; Organization Building; Letter to a Young Me; Recommended Reading, Viewing, and Surfing
Dean's been through more than most of us would experience in a couple of lifetimes when it comes to self-destructive behavior. Rock bands, drugs, alcohol, sex, and dead before 30... that pretty much sums up his existence prior to getting things turned around. Add in losing a daughter to cancer, and you're not talking about a storybook life. Once he started to figure out which end was up, he started to live his life by some simple rules that make sense for anyone. Actually, only two... Do not initiate or accept force, and keep your word. Amazing how much can be covered in those two rules. And force isn't just physical... it can be the "serenity vampires" who are simply out there to draw you into conflict and make your life miserable. If you block those people in your life (not accepting force), you can end up with a far happier existence, free of the daily drains that others put on you.
If the Two Rules were the only thing in the book, it'd be worth the read. But since you're getting everything that Dean wants to share with you, there's quite a bit more. If you're more into wanting to bypass the emotional stuff and move to "make me more productive" material, jump over to the part starting with Work Smarter. It's there that you start to get a number of practical tips on changing your habits to accomplish more with far less stress. Topics such as goal management, not resting on your past, and analyzing the "hiya Joes" will have you rethinking some of the ways you approach your work. Even internalizing his view "do everything as if you'll be remembered for *only that one thing*" will radically change your day-to-day reality.
As I mentioned at the start, don't expect a slick handbook with a 1-2-3 methodology. Do however expect to see reality through the eyes of someone who has been there, done that, and has the scars (and the tattoo) to prove it. You won't come away from reading A User's Manual as the same person you were when you started...
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Why You Need This Book, May 24, 2009
Unhappy? Unsuccessful? Dissatisfied with life? Even after reading a stack of self help books?
Put those books in a pile and burn them. Or stack them into four piles, put a slab of plywood on top to make a coffee table.
Michael Dean has what you want--a big bag of life tools to fix your problems once and for all.
Unhappy? Probably you're spending all your time trying to make your Serenity Vampires happy. Michael Dean shows you how to keep the vampires at bay. See Chapters 1-12 for "Practical Emotional Self Defense."
Unsuccessful? Michael Dean charts your course. How to cut out the soul-killing, energy-sucking "life flab" and get on with it. See Chapters 13-17 for a "Life Amplification" plan.
Dissatisfied? Dean asks you the hard questions about why. Up to you to answer them.
Why should you take his word for it? Dean's been there, and back. Hit the bottom, and the top. Done it on his own, without help, and against the odds. Been a rock star, a junkie, a successful filmmaker, homeless, a published and widely read author.
Why should you take my word? I've been through the mill too. Like everybody. Some of us wallow in victimhood. Some of us rise above. Michael Dean is one. You can be too--if you read this book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Unique, Interesting, Informative, and Enjoyable Self-Help Book, April 25, 2009
"A User's Manual For The Human Experience" by Michael W. Dean is a book I most likely would have never read if I had not previously read, reviewed, and enjoyed Dean's "$30 Writing School." I'm glad I found "$30 Writing School" on the shelf of a book store and enjoyed it, because that led me to this "User's Manual For The Human Experience." It is a self-help book, but one like no others I have read. I found it to be unique, interesting, informative, and most of all enjoyable.
Dean definitely has a style of his own. It's a mixture of reflection, self-assuredness, a zest for life, libertarianism, his own brand of humor, all combined with a love for his wife and cats. In this very revealing book, Dean shares some of his triumphs along with some personal tragedies in order to present a message that will help the reader live a more productive and positive life. He calls his personal philosophy of living "Life Amplification," or "LifeAmp" for short, and describes this as learning to be comfortable in your own skin, and making a living doing what you love.
I don't think this book is the one and only book to read for living the life of your dreams, or for motivation, because I think Zig Ziglar was right when someone told him motivation didn't last, and he replied, "Neither does bathing, that's why I recommend both daily." The book is almost like several books in one and could almost be described as a collection of essays rather than a continuous book. Almost. I do think it is an extremely important book for those that are recovering from some sort of addiction, and a very good book for those looking for a different take on living the life of their dreams by doing what they love to do.
The first half of the book focuses on recovery from codependence and substances without meetings. However, Dean does give AA, their meetings, and 12-step Programs a lot of credit. They have helped him, and will help many others. Dean found a way to graduate from those programs and live productively without them, and that is some of what he shares in this book. I have never had an addiction, and my only familiarity to AA and 12-Step Programs is what I've seen in movies and television, recently in "Rescue Me" with Denis Leary. So I found the sections interesting from an academic point of view. I enjoyed learning from Dean's experiences that I am personally very unfamiliar with. Those with addictions will benefit most from Dean's examples of how to stay sober without the Twelve Steps. At the same time, I think the advice about Practical Emotional Self-Defense and blocking serenity vampires and others from your life can be beneficial for anyone. Life is too short to have your energy and existence sucked out of you by those that do not enhance your time here on earth.
Read the book to find out what Dean's two rules in life are, but I will tell you that if everyone lived by them, the world would undoubtedly be a better place. Dean didn't make these rules up, he just re-packaged some old wisdom. Since many people don't follow these rules, I think we could use a little more spreading the word.
As a self-defense instructor, I have used modifications of Cooper's Color Code in numerous writings, seminars, and presentations. I've even adopted them to paid presentations on communication. So I really enjoyed how Dean used Cooper's Color Code in his Practical Emotional Self-Defense portion. Good advice on how to deal with people who emotionally assault you. I like Dean's "stop being a victim attitude" and his belief that anyone can take control of their own destiny. While many of us believe this, some stuck in depression and addiction may not. Dean is an example that this is true.
The second half of the book could almost be a different book entirely, since it takes a different approach. This half focuses on Dean's thoughts on doing what you love. The first chapter of this half includes many tidbits of practical advice and wisdom in random order. This was one of my favorite chapters of the book, and I even wrote a short blog/article on a passage titled "Do Everything As If You'll Be Remembered For Only That One Thing."
Dean's message will resonate most with artists. Dean is a musician and author and doing what he loves includes those activities. He loves to create, and that comes through clearly. Many of his suggestions can be applied to other occupations as well, but it is the artist, regardless if music, writing, painting, or whatever, that will connect with Dean's message the most. While I'm an attorney, I also create with my books, audio programs, and DVDs, so that part of me really enjoyed a lot of this second half of Dean's life lessons. His thoughts on professionalism were spot on, and I think his advice for time management will help some, though he didn't convince me to get rid of my planning calendar altogether. But his key is find a system that works for you, and he shares what works for him. I applaud that. My favorite message of his is to produce and do something you enjoy!
He also provides his ten-point plan for moving from a job you don't like to the freedom of doing what you love. He did it, so why can't you? He also provided an interesting example of using the AA 12 Traditions to organization building. While he made a good argument for this, this was probably my least favorite chapter. Maybe because of my unfamiliarity to AA and 12-step programs, but I just didn't connect with this chapter.
I found the final chapter, "Letter to a Young Me" to be creative and entertaining. Not only did he write as a 44 year-old to a 22 year-old self, but also as a 60 year-old writing back to himself at 44. I think this is a cool exercise that many would benefit from doing themselves.
I'm sure some people won't like some of Dean's political views that come through in this book. Some people won't share his beliefs on certain things, and might not like his directness on them. That's okay, because if you try to please everyone, you won't really have something of substance left. I for one don't agree with Dean on everything. I've also never experienced some of the things Dean wrote about. However, I thoroughly enjoyed this book, gained some knowledge on subjects I know little about, and took away some gems to incorporate into my life to live more productively. That makes this a book very worth reading, and one that I am very glad I did.
Reviewed by Alain Burrese, author of Hard-Won Wisdom From the School of Hard Knocks and the dvds: Hapkido Hoshinsul, Streetfighting Essentials, Hapkido Cane, the Lock On Joint Locking Essentials series and articles including a regular column on negotiation for The Montana Lawyer. Alain Also wrote a series of articles called Lessons From The Apprentice.
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