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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!
 
 
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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression! (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "You pull into the parking lot, turn off the engine, and sit for a minute dreading the next two hours..." (more)
Key Phrases: interviewing questions, approachable person, poor sport, Fifty Ways, Most Wanted, Overlook Road
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)

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  Paperback, February 28, 2002 -- $9.75 $2.38
  Audio, CD, Audiobook $12.21 $9.32 $8.03

Frequently Bought Together

The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression! + How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships + How to Win Friends & Influence People
Price For All Three: $35.29

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  • This item: The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression! by Debra Fine

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  • How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Would-be social butterflies will get encouragement but little inspiration from this not quite scintillating self-help primer. Fine, a conversation consultant, insists that small talk is the necessary overture to deeper communication, the key to generating business leads and dates and a pathway to a richer life in which strangers are magically transformed into acquaintances. She covers such cocktail-party conundrums as how to spot "approachable" interlocutors, how to make introductions, how to butt into an intriguing conversation, resuscitate a flagging one and bail out of a boring one, and how to resist one-uppers, know-it-alls, motormouths and other abusers of talk. Given the ingrained human reluctance to talk to strangers, will, not technique, is the real issue. Much of the book is taken up with motivational pep-talks to get readers to initiate contact (one agonizing exercise suggests "walk through the mall and just say hello to ten people as you pass them"); in a world where everyone feels at a loss for words, Fine argues, saying virtually anything makes one a "hero." Unfortunately, it doesn't necessarily make one a great conversationalist. The heart of Fine's methodology consists of long lists of icebreakers and inviting questions that she instructs readers to memorize and regurgitate as needed to jump-start and sustain conversations, and these read like rather bad small-talk-dull ("How has the internet affected your life?"), stilted ("Do you have a personal motto or creed?") and awkward ("Describe an embarrassing moment you've had."). Tongue-tied readers can benefit from her pointers and exhortation, but one hopes they will think a little harder before they speak.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


From Library Journal

These two books treat similar subjects, but the contrasts are significant. One covers the entire landscape of speaking, whereas the other focuses just on "small talk." The title of Speak from the Heart describes the book's very solid premise. Emmy Award-winning broadcaster and motivational speaker Adubato emphasizes the importance of being genuine as he attempts to cover every conceivable speaking situation, including public speaking, private conversations, group discussions, and listening. He guides readers in the use of eye contact, developing a conversational style, and being comfortable with their message. Despite many charming personal anecdotes and stories drawn from other sources, this book remains a heavy read. Ironically, while Adubato tells us to make a connection with our audience rather than to "cover the material," he does a much better job of covering the material than of connecting. In contrast, Fine fully engages her audience. She involves readers in the discussion and gives lists of lines people can use to start, maintain, or end a conversation. She discusses conversation topics and how to use them and also includes quizzes, throws in a poem, and scatters a few cartoons to break up the text. Originally released as an audiocassette in 1997, this work comes across much like one of her seminars on small talk. The Fine Art of Small Talk does everything that Speak from the Heart says should be done. Adubato's book is best for academic libraries or large public and business libraries. Fine's is a better choice for most public libraries, as well as business libraries. David Leonhardt, Toronto
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Hyperion (September 28, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401302262
  • ISBN-13: 978-1401302269
  • Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #30,675 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

    #5 in  Books > Business & Investing > Business Life > Etiquette
    #16 in  Books > Reference > Etiquette > Conversation
    #29 in  Books > Reference > Words & Language > Communication

More About the Author

Debra Fine
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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!
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Customer Reviews

65 Reviews
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4 star:
 (10)
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2 star:
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Average Customer Review
3.5 out of 5 stars (65 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
159 of 172 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing, August 24, 2004
By steve (DeKalb, IL USA) - See all my reviews
This book was a real disappointment. Although the information on the cover doesn't say so, it's aimed almost exclusively at people in business situations; almost all of Fine's examples deal with corporate conferences and other networking events. For example, her top suggested line for exiting conversations is "I need to go see the exhibits." She continually emphasizes how improving your small talk skills will win you new clients, a promotion, etc. What about just making friends? The idea that you might want to improve your conversational skills in everyday social or family situations is hardly mentioned at all.

Fine also has some peculiar ideas about what constitutes "small talk." She offers a long list of "icebreakers" for initiating conversations with people you don't know. Unfortunately nearly all of these are too personal, too serious, or just bizarre. Imagine trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger by saying, "If you could replay any moment in your life, what would it be?" The person would just think you're either nosy or a kook. She even suggests using political statements as conversation starters, which is just asking for trouble.

There are a few good suggestions in the book; she has useful advice for dealing with egocentric people who talk endlessly about themselves. However, all of Fine's good ideas could easily fit on two or three pages.
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41 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and educational, August 9, 1999
By A Customer
Facilitated in a seminar setting, you listen and feel as though you are participating with the group. The conversation skills taught in this tape are well presented and Deborah is extremely motiviating. I am using her suggestions in practice and find that I am becoming more outgoing already as a result. You will truly see a positive difference in how people relate to you when you take the burden off of them and start the conversation yourself.
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31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy and quickly adaptable for social party , dinner, June 16, 2001
By A Customer
At the same time, I have ordered Debra's tape, I have bought also 7 others books and video, audio tapes from others authors, on the same subject of conversation. Debra's tape , definitely appears to me, easy, confortable, to apply for any occasions to talk to people Her voice is very friendly and warm. I am so glad to have found Debra' audio tape. She gives , not only advice and techniques, but immediate examples of small talk for introducing yourself , with warmness and giving people the chance and the desire to develop conversation with you. Usually, when invited to dinner, or cocktails , or meeting , I go with the apprehension to meet new people , and to be in the situation of nothing to say , and to appear not interesting to be with.The days after listening to Debra's tape, I have the opportunity to apply in a dinner . I was the guest on a table of 12 persons that I did not know. The evening was lovely, because at last I could engage conversation with new people, as if we were friends. I feel much more confortable ,in such short time and I know that with more training with this tape, I will allow myself, for near future, to love meeting new people, as well as to talk friendly with my clients, my hairdresser, old friends... I really recommend this tape to who wishes to leave a positive impression.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

2.0 out of 5 stars Boring. Not helpful at all
The "icebreakers" proposed by the author, supposedly to be the jewel of this book, involve so many personal questions. Read more
Published 3 months ago by ServantofGod

5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing book
This book truly changed my life. It contains tools that actually turned social contact from a dread to a delight for me. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Anna A

3.0 out of 5 stars Lightweight Little Book
I think this book is helpful, but too narrow in its focus. I think it could be seriously expanded on to include family and friends too, not just business social situations which... Read more
Published 12 months ago by Christopher A. Pugh

1.0 out of 5 stars Boring
I got Debra's book on CD. She talks about very basic stuff for a long time in a very boring way. In addition, she is not a good speaker. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Joanna

4.0 out of 5 stars Adding a dimension to a fine book
I periodically teach a course for newly-hired and largely inexperienced application software consultants, "Soft Skills. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Joseph B. Mitchell

3.0 out of 5 stars Good but not the best
it is good book. Nothing special. From rank of 5 I would put 3. A little bit boring and very ordinary. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Sergei Sheinblum

2.0 out of 5 stars A lot of Technique but very little Social IQ
Based on some of the 4 and 5 stars reviews here I approached this book with excitement and high expectations only to be let down - hard. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Mr. IT

5.0 out of 5 stars "The Fine Art of Small Talk" is the real thing!
"The Fine Art of Small Talk" is the real thing. Accept no substitutions.

Do you dread networking events, meeting new people, hospitality suites and business related... Read more
Published on November 1, 2007 by Stacey J. Miller

5.0 out of 5 stars The Real Deal
I have had the opportunity to meet Debra Fine in person, hear her speak and read her book. This is the real deal. Extremely readable, accessible and practical. Read more
Published on July 17, 2007 by G. Richards

5.0 out of 5 stars The Fine Art of Small Talk
this is a great training and useful to all who are either fearful of speaking to other people in general or as debra described herself for people who just do not know how to move... Read more
Published on May 14, 2007 by F. Anderson

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