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The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids
 
 
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The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids (Paperback)

~ (Author) "There are so many incredible things about being a full-time Stay-at-Home mother, and a goal of this book is to fully acknowledge and celebrate the..." (more)
Key Phrases: slumber parties, employed mom, The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide, Social Security, Money Matters (more...)
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)

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Customers buy this book with In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms by Laura Schlessinger

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  • This item: The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids by Melissa Stanton

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Melissa Stanton never set out to be a stay-at-home mother.

It just sort of happened as the result of a confluence of events -- her husband taking an out-of-state job, her own long commute to a high-pressure New York magazine editing job, and the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

'I woke up one day and said, `You know what? That's it. I need to live a different life,'?' she said.

Ms. Stanton, who now lives in Davidsonville, admits she didn't know quite what she was getting into when she left the workforce. But she's gained a lot of experience and is determined to pass it on to other women.

Her book, 'The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids,' came out June 1. It packs plenty of advice for moms who may be feeling a bit isolated and under-appreciated in their new roles.

'It's so chock-full of tips (and) practical things,' said Krista Lyons-Gould, publisher of Berkeley-based Seal Press, which put out the guide.

Ms. Stanton, 43, consulted with about 100 stay-at-home mothers and surveyed more than 60 in detail to gain a broad perspective for the book.

The guide includes chapters on everything from finances and friends to sex and strategies for keeping sane.

'There's a little humor and a lot of substance,' said Ginny Meerman of Edgewater, who has four children and has been a stay-at-home mother for 18 years.

'I'm still amazed that I did it,' she said. 'The book was a lot of work, but it was really good to have done it. I hope it gets attention. I think it's a useful book.' -- Hometown Annapolis, June 19, 2008

No one ever said that staying home with kids was easy. But now, thanks to this new book by Melissa Stanton, you'll have somewhere to turn whenever you're feeling a little lonely, under-appreciated, or overwhelmed. Stanton, a magazine editor turned stay-at-home herself, understands all too well both the joys and the challenges that come with staying home with your children full time. For this book, she draws not only on her own experience, but also on the experiences of other moms, who she spoke to and surveyed at length. With information about dealing with everything from money and scheduling to friendships and marriage, Stanton has the advice you need for every situation and the sympathy and understanding you've been hoping for. No one understands a stay-at-home mom like another stay-at-home mom, which gives Stanton the insights to make this Survival Guide a valuable resource for moms everywhere. -- Mom Central, June 26, 2008

Product Description

Melissa Stanton’s The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide is an all-encompassing, truth-telling how-to book that addresses the many practical and psychological issues facing stay-at-home moms today.

How do you create time for yourself? Is there really time to do it all (feed the kids, keep them busy, clean the house, balance the checkbook, and take a shower)? How do you deal with the absence of the “professional you"?

An invaluable resource for mothers, The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide includes interviews with stay-at-home moms, discussions with experts (family therapists, educators, medical specialists, career counselors), checklists to help you make the most of your time and keep you balanced, and Melissa Stanton’s own experiences leaving a career as an editor for People magazine to become a stay-at-home mom herself.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 386 pages
  • Publisher: Seal Press (June 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580052479
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580052474
  • Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #29,731 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category: (What's this?)

    #57 in  Books > Nonfiction > Women's Studies > Motherhood

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Melissa Stanton
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34 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.7 out of 5 stars (34 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoughtful exploration of the central issues of being a SAHM, June 13, 2008
By Ask Moxie "www.askmoxie.org" (New York, NY United States) - See all my reviews
Cross-post with my review of the book on http://www.askmoxie.org

I loved this book. There are a couple books I recommend without reservation, and this is one of them. I don't think you'll get much out of it if you're not a SAH parent and don't plan to be one, but if you are or have been or want to be or are planning to be a SAH mother, you will get something out of this book.

The first strength of this book is that the author had a big career, then was home for a year with her first child, went back to work more-than-full-time for a few years, and is not back at home with her (now) three kids (including a set of twins, one of whom has special needs). So she's seen the gig from a lot of different angles. There were things I took for granted about being at home before I went back, and I know I'd have a different view of being at home now if I could go back to thatom and I think the book does a good job of picking out things that are unique to the at-home gig, but also universal to at-home moms.

The second strength of this book is that it hits the correct topics. The central tension of being at home, IME, is that tug-of-war between wanting to be with your kids all the time and feeling like you're missing something by being at home. (I think the flip side is the central tension of WOH--being out in the working world, but feeling like you're missing something with your kids.) And that's one of the central themes of this book. It is not at all one of those "yes it can be tough but SAH moms are riding along on a cloud of rainbows raising the future of the world" books. It acknowledges that there are many reasons women stay home to care for their children, and that sometimes it's not because that's what they'd choose if the choice was really possible. It gives equal weight to the joy and also the tedious nature of being at home, and discusses the very real sacrifices women make to stay home.

The chapter on finances, in particular, is strong. I've seen other things about finances for SAHM, and they all seem to be about how to economize on paper towels to stretch your family's money. Stanton's chapter on SAHM finances stresses knowing what your finances are, different ways of dividing the labor and responsibility of keeping track of money, and making sure you are not left in the lurch if your partner dies or you separate.

Another big theme of the book is laying on the table the idea that being a SAHM sometimes ends up being a 24/7 job, and one that your partner devalues because you aren't contributing any money. That's something that causes tons of pain for lots of women (as seen in the comments on yesterday's post here, for example), and there doesn't seem to be an answer. The right thing, clearly, is for a partner to look around and realize that forcing one person to be on duty all the time while the other's work hours are limited to 40-60 hours a week is patently ridiculous. But there are still partners out there who seem to think that they deserve a break while their wives do not. Stanton doesn't have an answer for that (neither do I, for that matter), but she discusses it and gives examples and commentary from a bunch of SAH women on the way it works in their households.

This book doesn't tell you what to do (except to keep your resume updated). It explores the light side and the dark side emotionally and logistically of being at home with your kids. It gives a bunch of data points. It doesn't blow smoke up your skirt about how great it is, or how horrible it is. It acknowledges that you're a person--not just a role, not "just" a mother, not just a political demographic. In short, it's a lot like you guys do for each other here.

Now for the bad parts: Honestly, I only have a couple of teeny minor points with this book: She uses the word "gal" a lot, she assumes most SAHMs have cars, and the only reason she acknowledges for divorce is adultery. But those are really, really minor points, and I'm only mentioning them so you know I actually read the book. Overall, I thought The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide took on the major emotional topics involved in being a SAH parent. I highly recommend it for anyone considering doing it or who's in the middle of it right now.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book!, June 25, 2008
I love this book! I just got it and am still reading through it but I really love the way Stanton writes. Very natural, candid, anecdotal and entertaining yet getting some wonderful points across that will help so many of us moms cope with the day to day challenges and joys of parenting. I found myself nodding my head in agreement at so many of the observations she shares. This is a real world book for real world moms. I am going to bring this with me on vacation to share with my girlfriends who are fellow moms- lots of great conversation starters and wonderful coping strategies we can all use.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars great, insightful book!, April 22, 2009
This book is a must-read for all women who are either considering staying home with their kids or who have been doing it for years. It is encouraging and honest without being condescending. I love staying home with my kids but it's frustrating that when I complain about something in my day it means that I don't love my kids, or that I made the wrong decision. Ms. Stanton gets that and it made me feel great about myself and the decision I've been lucky enough to make. And it's ok to not always feel thrilled to play Candy Land with a cheating toddler...It's the big picture that matters!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Pre-Stay at Home Mom Loves This Survival Guide. Thank u Melissa!
Melissa Stanton wrote such a smart, realistic, well-rounded book that I recommend it for moms and mom's to be, dads and dads to be. Read more
Published 4 days ago by Lauren Torrisi

4.0 out of 5 stars A good read!
I came across this book at my local library. So glad I checked it out! It was so nice to read about other stay at home mom's and to find out how much a like we really all are no... Read more
Published 24 days ago by Dawn Nofzinger

5.0 out of 5 stars Realistic and helpful!
I recommend this book to anyone who has had a fulfilling career and is now choosing (or not) to become a full-time/stay-at-home parent. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Laura A. Neuman

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is helping me survive stay at home motherhood
I love this book. Reading it was like spending time with a friend. The author's style is very friendly, smart (feminist in a good way) and realistic about motherhood. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Miami mama

5.0 out of 5 stars Great tips for enjoying your stay at home years!
I just finished reading it.
It's a great book. You will feel encouraged, praised, challenged and motivated to keep doing the best job in the world: raising your little... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Kerly

1.0 out of 5 stars Negative tone
This book was not what I was expecting at all. Prior to reading it, I thought the title "Survival" was just a cutesy word choice, but actually, the author does convey a view of... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Lindsay

5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome book for SAH moms. Great Gift!
I received this book as a gift from my mom after I got laid off from a job I loved and decided to use the opportunity to stay home with my son. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Jennifer L.

3.0 out of 5 stars Validating... but unhelpful for the most part.
This book is okay, but while I found it to validate a lot of my feelings, and I even shoved pages in my husband's face saying, "Look! See? SEE??? Read more
Published 7 months ago by C. Montgomery

5.0 out of 5 stars It Certainly Helped Me
I wanted to be a Stay at Home Mom but I was struggling with it. Alot. When my son was about 5-6 months old I decided to try reading some books on stay at home parenting hoping... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Stay At Home Mom

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read!!
This is a great book for anyone considering being a SAHM or an already SAHM (esp newbies) that need advice, tips and stories from other women to get them through the experience. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Bhandari Bhavna

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