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Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love (Hardcover)

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Key Phrases: everything that interests, smart boss, real deadline, Scanner Daybook, Life Design Model, Plate Spinner (more...)

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Editorial Reviews

Product Description

With her popular career counseling sessions, motivational speeches, workshops, and television specials, Barbara Sher has become famous for her extraordinary ability to help people define and achieve their life goals. Now she tackles a problem that millions of people face today in a universe of infinite possibilities.Sher identifies someone she calls The Scanner-someone who frequently has a multiplicity of interests, but finds it hard to create a successful life he or she loves because their passions and abilities are taking them in so many different directions. Sher identifies 7 types of Scanners-ranging from the Serial Specialist (someone who learns all about one subject, only to get bored and need to move on to the next) to Sybil (a person with so many areas of interest, she can+t finish a thing). Contrary to popular wisdom, Sher tells Scanners that theirs is a unique ability, not a liability. She also states that they must do everything they love, not zero in on one pursuit at the expense of all others. With dozens of powerful techniques Sher has developed to free people from -goal paralysis,+ readers will stop thinking of themselves as dabblers or dilettantes, and find innovative ways to live lives of variety, challenge, and joy.

About the Author

BARBARA SHER is a business owner, career counselor, and creator of the motivational innovation Success Teams (now operating in career centers, Fortune 100 companies, and entrepreneurial associations around the world). She is the bestselling author of six self-help books, including Wishcraft (over a million copies sold since 1979) and I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was (half a million copies since 1994). She has appeared on national and local radio and television, including Oprah, PBS, Today, 60 Minutes, and Good Morning America. She lives in New York City.

Product Details

Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: Rodale Books (March 7, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1594863032
ISBN-13: 978-1594863035
Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (58 customer reviews)

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #321,784 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Inside This Book (learn more)

Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
everything that interests, smart boss, real deadline

Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Scanner Daybook, Life Design Model, Plate Spinner, Serial Master, High-Speed Indecisive, Double Agent, Serial Specialists, Cyclical Scanners, Life's Work Bookshelf, Umbrella Career, Avocation Station, Backward Planning Flowchart, New York, Best Work, Scanner Planner, Show-and-Tell Party, Sybil Scanners, Reality Research, School Day Model, Sequential Scanners, Success Teams, Good Feeling, Leonardo da Vinci, Seasonal Scanner, East Coast

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	72% buy the item featured on this page: Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love 4.6 out of 5 stars (58) $16.47
	10% buy I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It 4.2 out of 5 stars (104) $10.88
	7% buy Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want 4.8 out of 5 stars (40) $10.20
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Customer Reviews

58 Reviews

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416 of 463 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Choose a reality check, May 30, 2006

By	Dr Cathy Goodwin (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)

Suddenly the self-help world has awakened to a shocking discovery: Careers don't move in a straight line. Some people cannot make a single choice for a lifetime. Some people can't follow traditional career guidance to choose the "right" career. So we have Margaret Lobenstine's Renaissance Soul and now Barbara Sher's Refuse to Choose.

These insights are not new. As I said elsewhere, Rick Jarow anticipated the trend in Creating the Work You Love. He encouraged readers to choose up to 5 goals for a six-month horizon. And in Working Identity, Herminia Ibarra reports research suggesting that career change never did follow a straight line. We just hoped it would.

Sher's major contribution lies in the exercises she has designed. As a career consultant, I'm totally impressed. I particularly like the "Everything I Don't Want List" (p. 216). Unfortunately, as Herminia Ibarra noted in Working Identity, self-analysis is the easy, fun part of career change. Implementing your new direction is tough, and that's where most career changers give up.

And I have to add that I'm generally suspicious of typologies. Most readers will recognize themselves in more than one of Sher's Scanner types.

That said, I believe many readers will feel relieved as they read this book, simply because they feel Sher understands them. She does a great service to readers by debunking career myths, including variations of, "You have one passion and it must be connected with your job."

My concerns come when we're asked to translate these insights into reality. Sher's time management suggestions are creative and (I suspect) practical. For instance, some people can organize their days as if they were still in school, with hour-long "periods" for their different interests. Others can use chunks as small as a commercial break.

But, as a career consultant and career changer, I believe we need to recognize trade-offs more explicitly. Those who dig deeply into a career will almost always gain greater external rewards (i.e., money, status, approval) than those who try to do many different things.

We don't need to be judgmental. We can recognize that certain personality types will be more successful, in general. Research (which Sher does not use) shows that people who are tall and attractive can obtain unique rewards. Life isn't fair.

The book's two greatest weaknesses: Sher tries to match specific careers to scanner types and she shares success stories that range from unique to unbelievable.

For example, certain Scanners will be suited to teaching. But teaching at elementary and high school levels requires sitting through dreary, mind-numbing education courses. College teaching offers more scope for creativity. As she says, a research professor can have fun reading from sociology, psychology, anthropology and English literature, turning these new ideas into research papers.

However, to have freedom for research, you need to find a sufficiently high-quality university. And once on board, there's enormous pressure to specialize. The top researchers in any field tend to have fairly narrow focuses. They learn one technique and one field in great depth. As time goes on, they may add a second of a third. Those who "refuse to choose" pay a price in reputation, translating to marketability and ultimately dollars.

Worse, this book does not address the difficulty of entering certain Scanner-friendly fields, such as motivational speaking, National Park Service jobs, and more. Starting one's own business does offer freedom -- but the vast majority of business owners spend up to 90% of their time on marketing. Read The E-Myth by Michael Gerber.

Finally, some examples seem unrealistic and even dangerous for some career changers. For example, on page 136, Sher describes "Huey," who chose to become a secretary to gain time for reading nineteenth century novels.

"Huey" claims he has 3.5 hours every evening, plus 12 hours weekends and holidays, to fulfill his literary passions. Clearly, Huey isn't married, and for sure he doesn't have children, dogs or a health club membership.

My question: What happens to Huey when he turns thirty, forty or fifty? I'm reminded of Tama Kieves, who wrote This Time I Dance. Kieves, a disgruntled lawyer, took a waitress job "serving curly fries" to her former colleagues. These jobs are fine when you're young -- but as you reach forty and fifty, with no other options, they stop being a Good Enough Job, let alone a lark, and start feeling like a trap.

Once I read a sad posting on a career forum. "Elise" had taken a series of secretarial jobs to fill her passion for self-improvement courses, such as est and esalen. But now, in her 40's, she had little savings and fewer options.

There's something wonderfully satisfying about a sense of mastery, particularly for those in forties, fifties and sixties. Saying "I know how to do this" and "I'm on top of my field" carries a confidence that can be transferred to the pursuit of new dreams.

And sacrificing income doesn't mean just giving up a few restaurant meals or even wearing last season's clothes. Money can't buy happiness but it can avoid a lot of misery. As one of my friends likes to say, "Serving your passion is fine but eventually your passion gets tired of eating mac and cheese."

Bottom Line: I'd recommend this book to my clients as the first step in "finding your dream career." But I'd suggest following inspiration with action, recognizing the tradeoffs and being open to serendipitous twists and turns along the journey.

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36 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read the Book and Joined the Forum, June 6, 2006

By	Reference Librarian - See all my reviews

This is a really good book. You need to read it if you are someone who has so many interests you can't seem to get anything done. If everyone you know says you just never grew up and settled down then you are probably a Scanner. Do you have so many interests the books and papers pile up? Do you constantly find things that interest you and you never seem to be able to finish them? You are almost certainly a Scanner, and you need to hear what Barbara Sheer has to say. It can make a big difference.

I was so impressed that I went to her forum at barbarasher.com and signed up. I don't usually like forums because they are a big waste of time. Here people are asking questions, making interesting remarks, and helping each other. It gives you a little insight into yourself just to know there are plenty of other people with the same kind of challenges as yourself, and you might be able to give them some ideas about how you solved a similar situation for yourself.

I do not like self-help books. Everyone has an idea about how you should run your life. This book is not like that. It is more like some basic information on a type of person that receives little or no affirmation in our culture. These people, as Barbara points out, are some of the most creative people around. Their problem, if it is really a problem, is that they cannot give up on pursuing other creative interests that most people give up to concentrate on or two. This book tells you how you can do all those things that really interest you. If you know someone like that you should read the book and pass it on to them. They will probably love you for it. I wish I had found it twenty years ago.

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46 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is the book I have been searching for all of my life!, May 26, 2006

By	rossetti_stunner (Minneapolis, MN) - See all my reviews

First of all, I am not a friend of Barbara Sher. I have taken one of her idea classes and have seen her on Public Television. (In case you reader think I am a friend or family member)

What I have ALWAYS been is confused. I am not stupid--actually more on the intellectual side. I have varied interests in the Pre-Raphaelites, travel,hockey, making mosaics, growing a garden, politics, writing, being healthy, quirky little English movies etc etc. And instead of picking one career..I have found myself in menial jobs--retail, shelving books at a library, working reservations for a major airline, temp jobs with insurance companies etc etc. And I am still barely over minimum wage, intellegent and having friends wonder what is wrong with me--or asking if I had ADD.

That could be MANY of you..and I bet if you are looking for this book...you have a sneaking suspicion that you don't need ritalin..but you need some TOOLS to help you be the successful person that you want to be.

This is the book you have been looking for.

Yes, you have diverse interests and your family has poo pooed them..and told you to grow up. You have not understood why. Sadly, it is because you are a scanner--a renaissance person like Leonardo or Thomas Jefferson or Barbara Sher herself. A hundred years ago you would have been admired, now the norm is having a one track mind. This book is to not only identify your status as a Scanner but to also use it to your advantage.

Barbara is a great teacher with years of experience working with people struggling to figure out what their dream work is. This book is for those of us who dream of living a life with lots of variety and still able to pay the bills.

Although I have just recently read her book, I finally feel some clarity and none of the inactivity from feeling overwhelmed by my need to keep my life varied. Years ago, I was encouraged to test for ADD and did not qualify for Ritalin. Now I realize that it is not ritalin that I needed--I needed Barbara Sher and this book.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Sher Strikes Again
An avid fan of "Wishcraft" (another of the author's books) and I'm asking even more serious questions while reading this book. Read more

Published 1 month ago by J. Alyce

5.0 out of 5 stars Help for Jacks of All Trades
This book helped me realize that a lifetime trait of embracing a wide variety of interests was not necessarily negative. Read more

Published 3 months ago by Scott Lloyd

3.0 out of 5 stars Refuse ToChoose
The topic is worth reading about, but I thought that the author took a long time getting to the salient points.

Published 6 months ago by E. DeLaura

5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente! Tienes que leerlo...
Realmente se trata de un libro excelente, que me ha dado muchas ideas y lleg� en el momento justo de mi vida en el que debo redescubrirme y empezar de nuevo. Read more

Published 6 months ago by M. Guerrero

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally my random approach makes sense
What a relief. Finally I understand why I always feel like I'm swimming up stream. This is the first time I've read about an approach that considers my "random" style without... Read more

Published 7 months ago by Really Random

4.0 out of 5 stars I am a scanner! Thank you Barbara Sher, this book knows me through and through.
Skip the long-winded reviews and read this book if the title grabbed you. You are in for a treat. You will need more than this book to switch to the ultimate career in life, but... Read more

Published 9 months ago by REAL NAME

5.0 out of 5 stars Refuse to Choose!
Very good take on an issue that likely affects many people; interestingly presented, good exercises to create the foundation for capturing varied ideas that might otherwise be lost

Published 9 months ago by M. Ciruso

4.0 out of 5 stars helped my daughter
I bought this book for my daughter who, though bright and motivated, was having trouble deciding on which one thing she wanted to devote her life to. She loved this book. Read more

Published 11 months ago by Vicki Soloniuk

4.0 out of 5 stars 50/50
This book is kind of frustrating in that the first part will assure you everything will be fine (excluding Sher's fatalistic approach to depression, in which she endorses therapy... Read more

Published 11 months ago by Nathon T.

5.0 out of 5 stars Refuse to Choose
Barbara Sher is a delight. What I love about her book writing approach is its heartfelt and real. In other words she's lived it in real time and has synthesized her life... Read more

Published 15 months ago by Vicky Klopp

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