XXX (Unrated Director's Cut) (2002)

Contrary to many reviewers, I went to see "XXX" just to see Asia Argento, daughter of famous horror maestro Dario. Of course, I knew Vin Diesel and Sam Jackson, and a greta fan of the latter. Also, I have seen Vin's great sci-fi thriller "Pitch Black," but to me, she is the one to see.

Anyway, "XXX" proved two following things; Vin Diesel is the action star of the next generation (another candidate is, probably, the Rock), and his name will be much more famous than he is now. (Actually while I was watching Serie A games, Italian football games on cable TV, his name was shown extensively in the ads on the ground.) He deserves much attention from us, and his metoric rise of career surely comes from his charisma, which can be easily seen in this otherwise OK action film.

The plot of "XXX" about the instant-made spy with 'I-am-BAAAAAD' attitude is not new. Sam Jackson's role as a reluctant boss handling the most desperate case of international terrorism (and this hopeless novice spy) seems, or is, too clithed. But Vin Diesel fits so well in the key role of Xander Cage, most daredevil extreme sports expert, that no one cares many plot holes there, or the stunts and explosions obviously helped greatly by CGIs.

The other thing "XXX" shows is that, like many other James Bond films, the female parts are less effectively used. Asia Argento, herself already having made a long career as an actress and even a director (this part of career she and Vin Diesel both share), plays Yelena, a mystrious girl from Russia, standing next to the mastermind of the secret organization 'Anarchy 99" which contemplates something, but you soon realize the truth about her and her identity. Like any 'Bond Girl' you pick, she is there to help and love the hero, and maybe she should be so. But I wanted more from her part, just all right as it is.

Hyper-actions galore (on the rousing chase scenes on the river, on the snow-capped mountains, and even on the stairs of Prague ... the last one using some unique thing for skateboard), "XXX" delivers as much as any action flick fans expect. However, it is not the Bond-like gimmicks or action scenes that attract you most. It is Vin Diesel, whose unexpectedly soft eyes betray that this guy cannot be really evil. And the film finally proves that. That is what we call predictable, but in this case, Vin's presence barely makes you forget the fact.

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Here's a surprise: Rob Cohen, whose The Fast and the Furious was not only one of the biggest surprise hits of 2001 but also by far the biggest of Cohen's career, teams up again with Vin Diesel. The major lineup change here is the addition of screenwriter Rich Wilkes. Anyone familiar with the name should be ready to crawl under their seats right about now; Wilkes has been responsible in the past for such deathless cinematic fare as The Jerky Boys and The Stoned Age.

Whatever Cohen did to Wilkes, though, he did it right. XXX is absolutely typical run-of-the-mill shut-your-brain-off spy movie fare, so cut from the cloth of James Bond that the opening scene of the film features a nameless tuxedoed secret agent getting shot in the middle of a Rammstein concert. Cohen and Diesel threw down the gauntlet from the get-go to Albert Broccoli and Co. (and if the trailers for the new Bond film are anything to go by, "Bond"'s death at the beginning of this film is most welcome. Actually, it probably should have come after A View to a Kill. But let's not be petty.)

XXX goes right into the wonderful world of Bond starting soon after, including a scientist/weapons geek (relative newcomer Michael Roof, last seen in Black Hawk Down), a number of fabulous one-liners, and the most beautiful women in Hollywood falling at his feet, in this case Asia Argento. (Asia fans take note: you won't see nearly as much of her, in any respect, as you did in b.Monkey. Grieve now.)

So what is it about XXX that makes it the best of the big-budget summer films? The movie does exactly what it promises. You go into XXX looking for a mindless action movie, and you get a mindless action movie. Diesel is one of Hollywood's hottest properties right now, Cohen is finally hitting his stride after two decades of failed attempts to be deep and meaningful, Wilkes wrote a script that actually contains some humor, and the three of them will be back together again for the sequel in 2004.

Eighteen films from now, hopefully, someone will shoot Xander Cage in the middle of a Rammstein concert, and there will be a new superspy. Until then, sit back and enjoy the ride. *** ½

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In fact, this is one of the worst movies I've seen to date. The acting is lifeless, the plot is a joke, and it caters to a viewer who enjoys watching the previews more than the movie. Now normally I might let a movie like this slide, if it had some degree of self-awareness. If it recognized the cheesy flash-bang approach it had chosen to take - but all these characters took themselves seriously. They didn't get that they were in a stupid movie - they thought they were in a high class bond film.

...So if you're just into big explosions, mumbled lines, and stupidity, go see this film. However, if your IQ is greater than that of a small monkey, it would be in your best interest to avoid it...

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