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A**holeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way - and Getting Away with it [Kindle Edition]

Steven B. Green , Dennis Lavalle
3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $12.95
Kindle Price: $9.80
You Save: $3.15 (24%)
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Book Description

Steve Carrell—the Pretend Asshole
Ari Gold—the Hollywood Asshole
Simon Cowell—the Trying-Too-Hard Asshole
Mickey Rourke—the Reformed Asshole
Barney Stintson—the True Asshole

To truly be an asshole is an art form. It requires the perpetrator to be cocky yet quietly confident, snide as well as sincere, sneaky while in your face. Better men than most have failed miserably. That's why there's this guide—the first book to walk you through the tricks of the trade and the numerous benefits the attitude reaps.

You will find essential information on how to sharpen your prick skills. Whether you're way too over-the-top and need to tone it down, or are a shy wallflower who needs to turn it up, this book is your crash course in assholeology. You will now be able to get everything you ever wanted—in work, love, and life—by being an asshole.

It's every guy's handbook on how to be an asshole, without getting a black eye.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Steve Greenberg (Los Angeles, CA) is an experienced actor and even more experienced asshole. His acting career has included stints in regional theatre, off-Broadway musicals, and NYC?S Gotham City Improv Company. Currently, he performs improvisational comedy with the L.A. Connection Comedy. Greenberg lives at home with a wife, three children, two dogs, and several cats in an old house that Bob Vila would run from.

Dennis Lavalle (Los Angeles, CA) has dealt with plenty of not-ready-for-primetime assholes as a Hollywood acting coach. A graduate of New York University, Lavalle knows what it takes to properly pull off the asshole attitude on both coasts. He credits his wife Jeanne and their two kids for saving him from a life of meaningless sexual interludes ending in an alcohol-induced death face-down in the gutter.

Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and fulltime a**hole. He?s a regular contributor to sites like,, and, and pretends to be witty daily on He lives with his wife in New Jersey.

Product Details

  • File Size: 240 KB
  • Print Length: 226 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1598699105
  • Publisher: Adams Media (December 18, 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0047DWNRE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #245,912 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
34 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Man up and take control: A**holes have the system beat December 15, 2009
A**holeology thrusts a pink slip at the self-help industry, celebrating a**holes and their achievements at our expense while clarifying what makes them different (and more successful) than douche bags. This step-by-step guide will help you redefine victory and teach you how to be an a**hole, at work, at play and, most importantly, with the opposite sex.

A**holeology answers "Why are books, movies, and television shows about a**holes so popular?" Ask a person to describe a**holes and they spit out, "Vile! Loathsome! Arrogant! Self-centered! Belligerent! A jerk! The worst of the worst! The lowest of the low!" All are accurate descriptions however, while you were stuttering through a litany of insults, the a**hole moved in on your girlfriend or iced you out of a major promotion. Likely, he did both.

The book's title led me to believe we would steer into crude seas. I fondly recalled Dirty Jokes and Beer by Drew Carey, a profane little memoir about "boozing, throwing dice, and chasing skirts" that substituted transitional paragraphs with dick jokes. However, aside from the titular profanity, A**holeology closely resembles The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

Authors and self-proclaimed a**holes Steve Greenberg, Dennis Lavalle and Chris Illuminati skillfully balance sarcasm with sage advice. Unapologetic in their approach, they serve up truisms like "A**holes are never forgotten" in 24-pt type. Throughout the book, they cite "The Quotable A**hole" with wisdom passed along by the likes of Michael Corleone, Ari Gold, Tony Soprano and Gordon Gekko.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful
By Chris
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you work in an office atmosphere, you will appreciate this read even more. Since reading the book, I have moved up in career and learned how to finally stop being the nice guy. More so, I now know how to tell people "no". I'm almost a certified a$$hole. Give me another year of practicing and I'll be on top of the world!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
I bought it for the comedic value, but it lacks that. Weak jokes and obvious puns.

If you think this will help you become more assertive and more successful, you will actually find yourself marginalized at work. You can't act confident. You are, or you aren't...pretending to be an a**hole will make you appear to be just that, an a**hole (and not the type that is detailed in this book).

He confuses being confident, assertive, and having a clear understanding of who you are and what you will tolerate with some absurd examples of how to be a prick.

Bottom line, it is a perfect example of how anyone can get published about anything, but talent is not required to get your name on a book cover.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good Read April 7, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This was a interesting read into the life of an a**hole. Funny and entertaining in most aspects yet infomative. I must say I was a little disapointed in the shortness of the book and it tends to seem a little vauge at times. I would recommend and one to buy this even though its a short read it will still keep you entertained unless of course your a d-bag.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! Especially for guys January 18, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Helped me understand how some guys think. It is hilarious to read but it does give some great advice that everyone could benefit from.
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18 of 26 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Really stupid... April 7, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I had seen this book at a traditional store and opened to a few pages that made me laugh and were of interest, upon getting the book, literally there might have been a half laugh or two additionally, in the entire book. Very lame and only for those seeking something braindead. The writing is geared towards the "Maxim" generation, and has very little substance to back up its claims. Sad.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Made room on my book shelf January 2, 2013
At times it was a little tedious but it made me laugh out loud as well. Most certainly an original work to say the least. My only complaint is that it could have been longer. I flew through the book way too fast.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars "Fun, truthful, not so far fetched masterpiece" April 15, 2010
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book is a great read, and doesn't need to be taken for just laughs. It's very enjoyable to read and to learn from. I can't wait to read more from the authors and hope to see A**hole-ol-o-gy: 2.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Hasn't worked for me yet.
Published 6 days ago by jer
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Greatness awaits
Published 11 days ago by Chance Staley
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
No new info really.
Published 1 month ago by Eddie R. Goynes Jr.
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Arrived as advertised and on time.
Published 2 months ago by BMisita
2.0 out of 5 stars review of assholeology
This book was not what I expected. I almost stopped reading it halfway through. I would not recommend this book to anyone.
Published 5 months ago by Katrina Misinay
2.0 out of 5 stars Skip this one
Big waste of money. Thought it would be very comical. Rather dull with old puns. Definitely would not recommend it .
Published 11 months ago by Deborah Ross
1.0 out of 5 stars Bigger slice of cake
Though I was an average player at cricket, Etiquette never allowed me to claim/demand for chances. Which was probably the reason I was deemed a poor player; my good performance,... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Sriharsha
4.0 out of 5 stars Buy it, read it, live it.
Game changing book.
It's supposedly meant to be funny, but I've applied some of it to real life and I've noticed some differences. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Dustin K. Adams
5.0 out of 5 stars This book should replace the bible
This book is full of motivation, a real page turner. Buy a copy and carry it in your pocket. Accomplish anything in life with the wisdom of this book.
Published 19 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Want the Truth? Read On!
A**holeology or (ASHO) for this review has to be one of the best-written self-help books out there. Yes, I said self-help, why? Read more
Published on October 11, 2011 by JJ
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