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How absurd it is that inexperienced schhol counselors try to teach parents how to parent

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Initial post: Jan 29, 2008 10:35:46 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Jan 29, 2008 10:52:32 AM PST
Rasih Bensan says:
As someone who has read many of Thomas Gordon's parenting books I think that Thomas Gordon's approach to effective parenting is one of the best and is copied by many other authors on the same topic. Counseling and guidance departments of private grade and high schools also often refer to it. I find it ludicruous though that many prestigious private schools employ counselors who are so young that they are either not parents yet or are very inexperienced parents themselves to teach in parenting workshops to mothers and fathers who are much older and have much more parenting experience than them.

We as parents of adolescents and younger children make a lot of parenting mistakes, even though we may have read many parenting books. Parenting workshops are useful but they must be coordinated and lectured by counselors who not only have theoretical knowledge about effective parenting but also are long time effective parents themselves. Instead who tries to teach us parenting ? Usually counselors at private schools of our children who are young ladies between the ages of 20 to 25, who are not yet mothers or are very new mothers and about 15 to 20 years younger than us parents. We have also read the parenting books they try to teach us from, and even though we make many parenting mistakes we also have at least 15 years of parenting experience that these counselors do not have.

It would be useful to have counselors who have been parents for at least 15 years in addition to their university education in psychological counseling and guidance and their professional experience with students and their parents teach in the parenting workshops. However, the counselors with that sort of experience are usually the head counselors or co- ordinators in private schools who are just doing administration. They let the inexperienced mothers and less frequently fathers run the parenting workshops. Why ? Because it is cheaper for schools to employ lots of younger counselors. I do not buy the argument that a university degree in psychological counseling plus experience with the school students alone compensate for the counselor's lack of experience as a mother or father. Moreover, many counseling departments in schools send monthly bulletins to parents with strategies copied from Thomas Gordon without even mentioning the source pretending that they have discovered the methods.

The inappropriate parenting advice given by these counselors who lack parenting experience is not limited to workshops and bulletins copied from parenting books. In addition, when parents are called to school to meet the school principal, the teacher and the counselor for the behavioral and academic problems of their children, it is these inexperienced counselors who tell the parents what to do and not to do. These are absurd and as the father of two sons aged 15 and 10 I think most private schools' counseling divisions are not very useful to their students nor to their parents for the reasons I mentioned.
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Initial post:  Jan 29, 2008
Latest post:  Jan 29, 2008

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