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Showing 1-4 of 4 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Sep 29, 2009 1:05:30 AM PDT
I'm starting this discussion in response to another, 'I'm looking for couples who are happily married'. The premise of that forum appears to be that Mr & Mrs Smith at #42, who have been happily married for the last 50 years, have lessons to teach us all about marriage and unhappiness. I believe the premise to be self-evidently false. If it were not, reducing the divorce rate would be very easy.

It's long overdue that we become more realistic about marriage. The central thesis of my recently-published book 'THE MARRIAGE DELUSION - the fraud of the rings?' is that most adults in the developed world in the modern era are unsuited to marriage. People marry. For most people this leads to personal unhappiness, which leads to divorce. As night follows day. Whatever Mr & Mrs Smith at #42 might have to say on the matter.

I'm going to give away five copies of the book to Americans who would like to learn more about why so many marriages are unhappy, despite an army of relationship / marriage counsellors and countless books giving advice on relationships. Details of the book on and Just email me - - by the end of Sunday 11 October with the reason(s) you should be one of the lucky ones. Thank you. Mike Buchanan, British twice-divorced-now-happily-unmarried author.

In reply to an earlier post on Oct 8, 2009 8:24:49 PM PDT
Mr. Buchanan,
I have been married and divorced twice myself. The first marriage at 21 which lasted all of one year and the second marriage for almost 13 years which ended due to my husband leaving me for another woman whom he met through work. The sad part - we had an 8 year old son at the time. Our son is now 19, in the Army, met a girl who is 21 about a month ago and he himself is suddenly contemplating giving her a ring and they are discussing marriage! I am horrified more than he realizes about this.

I am happily single, self-employed, renting a room in my home to a wonderful college student (girl, of course) and by the way, I have been divorced for 10 yrs. You probably already did the math. I am not looking to meet a new man or remarry but I would not totally rule out the possibility in the future...........but I doubt it. My issue is with trust, of course and I am not thrilled about the possibility of going through yet another divorce. Marriage is very difficult in the world we now live in and I feel that it is only going to get worse. Family is just not the commitment or priority that it used to be when my grandparents were alive.

thank you for reading my reply. I wish you well.

Posted on Oct 9, 2009 3:22:59 AM PDT
Thank you for your interesting and moving post. If you'd like a complimentary copy of the book, please email me ( your address and I'll post you a copy (RRP £20.00 = $32.00). The book got its first review on the other day, five stars. Very happy with that, hopefully more to come.

It would be great if you could get other people to contribute to this forum. Complimentary copies of the book to the first 10 Americans or Canadians who post something that (a) adds something interesting and original to the discussion, and (b) persuades me they might benefit from or otherwise enjoy the book. I strongly recommend your son reads the book before proposing to his girlfriend.

After two unhappy marriages I would only marry again if Cameron Diaz or Keira Knightley absolutely INSISTED. And I didn't have to sign a prenup.

I leave you with the words of British actress Stephanie Beacham after her divorce: "People keep asking me if I'll marry again. It's as if after you've had one car crash you want another."

Stay single. Be happy.

Posted on Oct 9, 2009 3:26:45 AM PDT
Sorry, I forgot the content of my frst post. To clarify. Ten complimentary copies of the book 'THE MARRIAGE DELUSION - the fraud of the rings?' are on offer, and the deadline for posts that might attract a complimentary copy is now 30 October. Thank you.

Stay single. Be happy.
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Participants:  3
Total posts:  4
Initial post:  Sep 29, 2009
Latest post:  Oct 9, 2009

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