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144 of 186 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
This and That, March 3, 2007
First of all, this book is not so much about that, despite the title. The title almost immediately sets you up for an anti-climactic rest of the book. The title is good marketing, but not necessarily truth in advertising. This is ok. Buying this book is not about that.
Think about why you bought it first. You bought it because you really like Rob Bell, and in your mind you run through conversations that you'd like to have with him when you two are hanging out at Starbucks, which I'm sure he'll have time for. Given that that's what this is about, just realize that you're getting the next best thing. You're hanging out with him. He's talking about what's on his mind. You get to listen in. Even though it's a monologue, it kind of scratches that itch that all of his fans have been having.
So for that reason, it's a pretty good book.
In keeping with the postmodern, emergent ethos, which Bell leads while disavowing, the book is not linear. He starts out with a provocative introduction which broaches the sacramental without using that word, and then a powerful first chapter that reaches into our deepest longings for the dignity for which we were created. Immediately we are on board and want more. Particularly in hopes that he gets to the s-e-x.
The second chapter skirts around our "disconnection" from the created order, which makes me wonder if we're walking through a systematic theology of creation, sin, salvation (I was soon dissuaded). I'm also wondering if we've taken on a neo-Tillichian doctrine of sin-as-victimization, but I don't think the book's theology is quite so intentional.
The third chapter I like even better, as a modern discourse on the first three chapters of Genesis and the thoughtful suggestion that our sexuality is poised between our place as animal and angel, as physical and spiritual beings. Now I'm really into this book. Chapter four plays with the temptations and addictions that throw us off course from that dignity we wanted at first. Chapter five looks at our reaching out for love to fix the hurt, portrayed through the clever and playful illustration of a little girl running away from Rob Bell when he asked her to dance in Junior High. I think we're supposed to say, "Oh, good choice, girlie, look where you'd be now." The cross is God's act of making himself vulnerable to our rejection in the same way.
Now here's the break. From here on out, the structure is not too clear to me, and, from what I read, to other reviewers. Six is about couples needing to submit to each other rather than women to men. Seven is (subtly) about retaining the mystery of sex within marriage. Eight is about loyalty, nine is an implied analogy between heaven and marital intimacy, and ten is an offer of forgiveness for those who have failed.
Then I realized what I was reading. It's not systematic theology; it's the emergent "Why Wait?" program. Which is fine. I just wanted to hang out with Rob Bell, and when I got the chance, he had sex on his mind. Cool. I like listening to him, whatever he's talking about.
My only two suggestions for his third book are these. First, the endnotes are not cute, and it is not impressive to see how many books you can recommend. They perforate a book that already requires attention. Secondly, pensees do not need to be released in hardback at twice the cost of a paperback.
Those aside, it's a worthwhile recommendation for the religiously exposed who don't really understand Christian mores regarding physical intimacy.
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56 of 71 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Awesome Look at God and Personal Intimacy, March 15, 2007
I agree with other reviewers that the title of the book is misleading (whether this is a reflection of crafty marketing or Rob Bell's uber-creative whimsy is debatable). This misnaming is unfortunate, because I think it confuses the reader (myself included) as to the overall goal of the book. However, a simple addition of a "/" renders the title more accurate: "Sex/God." As Bell emphasizes in his introduction, "This" (sexuality, intimacy, marriage,) is always about "That" (God and his loving relationship with humanity).
When read this way, I think the book becomes more coherent and compelling. In fact, I think it is one of the most inspiring theological statements on love, marriage, and intimacy that I have read. Rather than the typical, predictable, shallow Christian answers to defend traditional marriage and sexual purity, Bell provides a sweeping vision of how our intimate relationships reflect the self-giving love of our Creator. Not only that, but our self-giving love for one other person actually helps to manifest God's love to many other people. Even the pain of a failed relationship reflects the pain God feels and the risk God takes by loving us humans. Bell challenges us to think of sex, intimacy, and marriage in the most holy and reverent - yet also in the most realistic and practical - of ways.
Through all this, "Sex God" cleverly and somewhat subtly tells us as much about "God" as it does about "Sex." While we think we are reading about human relationships, we find ourselves learning about the Gospel - God's supreme love for us, manifest most explicitly in the sacrificial love of Jesus. "This" is really about "That."
"Sex God" is biblically grounded, yet never in predictable ways. I always enjoy Bell's trademark usage of vivid cultural context. His exegesis on the early chapters of Genesis and the latter verses of Revelation were particularly interesting, and he provides new insights to many well known passages.
I also appreciate Bell's concluding pages, which show sensitivity to people who are not married or dating without sounding patronizing. After spending an entire book extolling the Godly virtues of giving yourself wholly to another person, Bell reminds single people that, according to Jesus himself, they actually have a higher calling than the rest of us. And he also offers hope to people who have experienced failed and abusive relationships.
Much more could be said here, but suffice it to say that I am very eager to share this book with both my teen child and the college students with whom I work. And I immediately assigned the book to a couple for our premarital counseling sessions. "Sex God" is that good.
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81 of 104 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not quite there, July 30, 2007
This is my first book to read by Rob Bell and it will probably be my last. It's not a bad book, but Bell just seems to be an inch off of the target. I would read two or three pages and be able to follow his reasoning and then he would hit a point that just was off in left field. I know a lot people like him, maybe because he makes this strange and, at times, unbliblical statements (or at least riding the fence) that make you just stratch your head.
Certain things like where he says that in the Old Testament sex meant you were married because when I man raped a girl he had to marry her. From here he makes the conclusion that God may not be against cohabitation if the cohabitors are sincere and loyal to one another. He said it this way, "sex, in the ancient world, was marriage." I just see that as unbiblical because for the very reason that the link between marriage and sex was severed the man must now be forced to recognize and respect that link. It is not about having sex is equal to being married; it is that marriage and sex are connected and when you separate them and deny this connection, you deny their sacred nature of both. It is things like this in almost every chapter where he is a little off.
One more instance is where he says that being sexual is being intimate or connected with another. I like what Rich Mullins said much better when he said that we have made the mistake in this generation to think that to be intimate with somebody we must have sex; Christ was very intimate with people but he never had sex. I think what Bell is doing is taking the word "sexuality", which in it has the implication of connection, and saying that being sexual is not about physicality. With Bell's definition a logical conclusion would be that Jesus was very sexual even though he never had sex. Again I think it may just be Bell trying to be controversial and changing the connotation of the term "sexual" and thus raising some eyebrows. If you want a good book on Christianity and sex look elsewhere ("Real Sex" by Lauren Winner or something), he just doesn't quite get it I think.
Philip
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