Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
The Scariest Movie Ever Made (Without Being a Horror Film), July 23, 2004
After seeing this agonizing "mess" of excess and absurdity, I was actually curious about the commentaries--Good Lord, there's a WRITER's commentary included here--since I wondered how anyone could comment about this scary piece of CGI fecal matter. I've actually spent more time trying to figure out how to express myself on amazon.com that they would print than I did watching the movie. It's just that bad.
Thankfully, FULL THROTTLE "underperformed" at the box office (studio lingo that it tanked), so the universe will not be subjected to another CHARLIE'S ANGELS film. Otherwise, I think we could be subjected to some form of supernatural plague of cosmic retribution for this gastric emission.
THE CANNONBALL RUN was the first movie I saw where I thought the people who made the movie had more fun than anyone actually watching it. FULL THROTTLE amps that sentiment up to a millionth degree (just watch the bimbo eruptions in the closing credits). Yikes.
These movies make the original TV shows look like classical theatre.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
A movie that's dumber than a box of rocks, May 29, 2006
Charlie's Angels Full Throttle: Words can't describe how stupid this movie is. A puerile hodgepodge of special effects, allegedly hot women in skintight clothes, explosions, and more explosions. Watching this inane movie I had to plug my ears with cotton to keep my brains from pouring out of them. I've seen MST3K movies that made more sense.
Say what you will about the original 70's TV show it was never as mindless as this waste of celluloid. In addition to the "jiggle", there was some semblance of a plot and a story in each episode. This movie is nothing more than a bunch of ridiculous action scenes and special effects pasted together and set to 1980's music. The script has no dialogue the characters have no personality, and the special effects are just there to be there.
The plot if you can call it one: Two rings contain the world's -whatever are stolen by a rogue angel played by washed up Demi Moore trying to make a comeback ten years too late. Charlie sends his three stooges (Barrymore looks like Larry to me in this movie, Liu, acts like Moe, and Cameron Diaz might make a decent Curly if she shaved her head.) to go after her and get the rings back. Everything leads up to a big fight between the three stooges and Shemp. (Moore)
Director McG is has revolutionized filmmaking with this movie: He's the first man able to direct a movie dumber than a box of rocks. No, strike that, it's offensive to both the intelligence of the box and the rocks inside it. I actually think if I put a picture a box of rocks onscreen for two hours it would be more entertaining and make more sense than this movie. The fast moving frames of this brain melting drivel don't come together to form a cohesive story; they just seem to be there because he wants them there.
I don't know who's more retarded the braindead executives who greenlit these orange crayon scribbles calling itself a screenplay, the producers who invested over a hundred million dollars to make this dreck, or the stars who agreed to act in it after reading the puerile script written by chimpanzees high on LSD and Red Bull. Perhaps we the audience are the most mentally deficient because we keep spending money to see this trash even though we know it's garbage. I just know this: I will never watch another movie directed by guys with pretentious one-word names like McG, or Pitof.
There are no good performances here. Everyone in this movie is just here for the paycheck. Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore are just three cardboard cutouts with cell phones taped to them. Bernie Mac needs something to do in between takes for the Bernie Mac show, and Demi Moore is just here to show off what $20,000 worth of plastic surgery bought her. She'd have been better off spending her money on acting lessons, yoga, and groceries for her household or something else worthwhile.
IF YOU VALUE YOUR BRAIN AVOID THIS MOVIE! If you want to watch a silly "jiggle" movie, pick up Hamburger: the Movie, Porky's or Hot Dog: The movie. As stupid as these movies are, they all seem to look intelligent compared to Charlie's Angels Full Throttle. At least those movies have a cohesive plot structure and one-dimensional characters you can relate to in some way.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
So Bad, I Felt I Had To Post A Review. I Was COMPELLED!, March 1, 2004
Sweet Pete, what a monstrous turd. Worse, a betrayal.To preface my comments, I absolutely loved the first one. Loved it. And I'm a guy who roots for a movie to be good; I'm no critic or "film buff". I am a fan of movies and you gotta' really pooch-it big time for me to give it a thumbs down. Man, this thing stinks on its own terms. Within the context of the world the first movie created so wonderfully, this movie is a betrayal of everything that made you want to see another Charlie's Angels flick. Where to begin? First, the action scenes are boring. When they're silly it's an improvement. The special effects are, simply, BAD. There is no suspension of belief whatsoever and the majority of the fight work is OBVIOUSLY computer generated. PU. Second, what the hell did they do to the girls? The way their makeup and lighting was done makes them look... spoiled somehow, over exposed. Either way, it's disturbing. I'm not the dude who's checking out the wardrobe, but you can't get around it. They look like the goal was to make them look overcooked or something. It's so profound and in your face that it's actually distracting, even to someone who would normally care less. Third, the things about the movie that made you like the characters are GONE. They're bimbo-fied in the worst way imaginable. The fact that there are large portions of this movie where you have no idea what's happening won't bother you much because you will not care. I went from a full plate of positive thoughts about these characters to hoping the movie would end ASAP. Fourth, oh man, what the hell did they do to Bernie Mack? You will forever respect Bill Murray for managing to limit his association with this lump of crap to appearing in a photograph for about 5 seconds. Poor Bernie - who is very funny - is turned into some kind of nimrod. Fifth, a ten year old could watch and enjoy the first film, and so could an adult. This movie has content that is not cool for kids. It adds nothing and ruins the film for younger viewers. Not a huge deal, but one more example of the back stab this steamy dog pile represents. I could go on and on. I guess my point is this; it's not just bad, it seems to have been designed to sabotage the warm feelings and enjoyment anyone ever got out of the first movie. I suppose this is actual mild anger, and I am venting. I'm sort of sorry, but not anything like a grief you'll feel if you see this heap.
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