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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Wonderful Book, July 4, 2005
In A MONTH OF SUNDAYS, author Julie Mars grapples with her beloved older sister Shirley's death - the events leading up to it, the death itself, and the chaotic feelings she's left with afterward. To cope with her grief, she visits a different church each week for 30 weeks in a search for understanding, peace, and meaning. Meaning does come, not with any grand, sweeping insights, but slowly, in bits of memory and experience. And that's what so beautiful about this book - the way Mars weaves together daily stories, past and present, as she seeks to cope with deep emotion. She stops to look at the events that most of us allow to drift by, and thus inspires us to pay closer attention to our own lives. She's a wonderful writer, and her stories are alive with her vivid prose. I gave copies of her book to several friends who are coping with personal loss, and copies to other friends, too, who are not - this book is for everyone with a drive to look deeply into life.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
One Step Forward Two Back in Grief, June 1, 2005
Two Steps Forward, One Back in Grief
In the preface of her newest book, A MONTH OF SUNDAYS: SEARCHING FOR THE SPIRIT AND MY SISTER, Albuquerque, New Mexico author, Julie Mars says: "For seven months, I took care of my sister, Shirley, who was dying of pancreatic cancer....I witness her intense spiritual turbulence and her return to Catholicism....I consider it an honor and a privilege to be with her every day as she considers the state of her soul....As my sister's faith forms its final shape and hardens, mine disappears....When I return home to Albuquerque, I feel a driving need...to go to church."
So Mars does, for 31 Sundays, the equivalent of a month, visiting Christian, Sort-of-Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Unitarian, and nonsectarian places of worship.
Each visit triggers thoughts, feelings and remembrances of Shirley, their siblings and parents; and Shirley's children. Using simple, direct language, Mars interweaves her family's relationships, Shirley's advance toward death, and her own spiritual search for something she can call God, into a microcosm of human experience.
A visit to the Church of the Latter Day Saints evokes this thought: "My father taught me, expected me, to be tough, to follow my own strong will, and not apologize for it. I did. But secretly, I locked myself in the closet and cried so hard I could not breathe. Waves of sadness washed over me, washing me away, and I was enormously bereft, lonely, scared of everything. That was when Shirley would whisper through the door that she wanted to come in. I would crawl into her lap and drink in her silence."
Describing this intimate moment, Mars states a universal truth. Independence can terrify. Everyone needs a safe person and a safe place. Everyone faces the moment when they must lose that security.
The combination of universal and personal experience in this and many other paragraphs in the book makes A MONTH OF SUNDAYS: SEARCHING FOR THE SPIRIT AND MY SISTER a compelling, tender, and moving read.
So do Mars' frank descriptions of caring for a dying person, right to the moment Shirley becomes so weak, she needs diapers, just before her "Final Dive," as Mars calls it, into delirium and coma. Mars' spiritual search and its climax, add a final touch on the last page of the story.
A MONTH OF SUNDAYS is a thoughtful and moving book for anyone, but especially for those facing illness, death, loss, spiritual crisis, and grief. The story is not for the airport or the beach, but for a time to sit down, and think, about life.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Not an easy read, but a truly worthwhile one, August 15, 2005
A Month of Sundays is a powerful book that reflects the process of grief better than any other book I've read. I deeply felt the author's pain and her need for spiritual truths and answers. Throughout her 31 Sundays, Ms. Mars doesn't find the kind of easy answers we all hope for, but this makes the story more raw and real. I wonder about her now, and I hope she has found some peace and comfort since writing this difficult story.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has experienced loss and feels alone in the quest for meaning.
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