107 of 113 people found the following review helpful
on April 27, 2011
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
You will never see me in the "self help" section of a bookstore..just not me. You will find me in fiction, non fiction, military history in a book store. You may have seen me in the Veterans Administration Mental Health Clinic as this old warrior struggles with his PTSD. You may have seen me in divorce court.
About 9 months ago I recieved a dear john email from my second wife, I was deluded as I thought she was my soulmate. Devastated, wanting to end this life, my best friend, a psych Nurse told me to go to the Facebook page "The Soulmate Experience". Not only did I go there, I daily go there and am active and interactive with a community of souls from across our beloved mother earth. Hard to articulate what this site is....part support group, part soul and sole work. To paraphrase the Venerable Thich Nhat Hahn...it is "Transformation at the base!" I was stuck in the mud of failed relationships, loathing self, baggage, shame and fear...what occured during the past 9 months is again to quote Thich Nhat Hahn..."Out of the mud, a lotus blossoms". I did the work daily at the site. My profession oft times drains my soul. By using the tools at the Soulate Experience daily, I fill my soul back up. Finally Mali and Joe have published this lovely book. I am over halfway through it. It is for me akin to polishing a beautiful diamond. For my diamond eye NOW knows: Boundaries, Limit Setting, Openess, Positive self talk reverberates around my brain. Affirmations that help keep my soul grounded with a sense of love and awe. My baggage...over it, for my baggage is now viewed as positive things in this journey called life. I first learned to let go and essentially unlearn past habits. I then started to work on loving myself, grey hair, wrinkles, a few extra pounds and guess what..along the way I found that I am in love with self. During this period I found a special woman whose words , soul, and core beliefs resonated with me. In 5 decades on this planet I am finally in love with self and have found my real soulmate. This book teaches one how to be ready for love, how to sustain a soulful commitment with self and a significant other. It crosses the bridge of age, race, spiritual beliefs, geographic location. I now have the tools to not just survive but thrive. I am no longer in the base of food, shelter, clothing. I am learning the tools and moving towards self actualization. If you have always wanted to love self, to be loved by others, to love others and to achieve happiness with small things like a sunset, a hug, or being able to look in the mirror and see a lovely, sexy reflection then BUY THIS BOOK. DO THE WORK. LIVE THESE GOALS..hold our hands and transform open minded souls on this magical journey of Soulful LIFE.
45 of 46 people found the following review helpful
on April 11, 2011
... because that is not what you will get. However, if you are looking for a way to become a better person, thus having deep, meaningful relationships, this book will change your life as it did mine. The Soulmate Experience compels you to be a magnificent person. It is easy to read and loaded with simple tools and techniques to learn to love the people in your life even BIGGER. It will change you for the better.
68 of 75 people found the following review helpful
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
"The Soulmate Experience" is an engaging read. The authors believe that you can form a soulmate relationship with the person you are already with. Instead of thinking that you should find your soulmate they make you consider how you could be a soulmate. This is a more unique way of looking at the situation.
I liked the idea about treating your partner like a guest in your life instead of like a prisoner. Too often we become possessive and demanding when we fall in love. True love is much more freeing. The authors also make the point that people who have low self-worth can become abusive to feel in control.
I also enjoyed the chapter on how to transform jealousy into more loving feelings. That is worth the price of the book.
More religious people might not agree with the advice to go to a clothing optional spa or to take a naked yoga class. For most people this would be uncomfortable and embarrassing not to mention go against some of their deeply held beliefs.
Also there is a section that talks about accepting the fact that your partner is going to look at other people and find other people attractive. You will need to be very secure in your love to practice pointing out beautiful people for your partner to observe. My advice is to never tell your partner that anyone is more attractive than they are. This is just trouble in the making. My husband and I play a little game where I say someone it attractive and he tells me that they are not. Let's just say he gets points for this behavior.
~The Rebecca Review
28 of 29 people found the following review helpful
I loved this book. It goes way beyond the scope of lovers, as the principles can be applied to ANY relationship--platonic, family, best friends, and even people you interact with in business.
Part 1 is about how to create the soulmate experience. The book begins with a chapter on clearing your mind and letting go of beliefs that interfere with relationships. Examples are "I'm not good enough," "I don't' fit in," or "Men can't be trusted." We are taught how to identify the belief, examine and question it, craft a replacement, and reprogram the old belief.
Plenty more wisdom follows. The next chapter deals with loving your body and reaching a state of self-acceptance. But the chapter I especially like is "reducing your baggage." Baggage can be addictions, the ego's mask, and resentments. I just love how the authors explain the different lenses we can use to view every situation clearly. I have always stated that "Everyone is doing the best they can," and the book has an entire section on this! If we truly realize this, we can view other people's actions with compassion instead of judgment and resentment. Most remarkable, we can transform relationships even if the other person isn't willing to reduce THEIR baggage. We are also taught how to "raise our soulmate potential."
Part 2 is about keeping the soulmate experience alive. This section is so important because, as the authors relate, very few of us have had relationship education! We learn how to become free from expectations of others; this is sure to destroy the joy of relating sooner than anything. Expectations are turned into invitations, a much healthier viewpoint. We discover in this section that a partner is not there to make us happy--that is OUR responsibility. A partner is there to share the happiness with us: to enhance us rather than to complete us. This section also deals with jealousy, helping your partner evolve, and more. It includes practices to help you and your partner connect deeper.
I found tremendous synchronicity as I read this book. Some issues I was having with friends of mine were addressed, and as I read, I was able to let go of certain beliefs and expectations that were causing me suffering. I was deeply reminded that the main relationship, the most important one, is the Divine Romance with the Self--no one outside me can fulfill me. Even if you are not into having a life partner, this makes a very insightful and inspiring read!
Susan Schenck, author of The Live Food Factor: The Comprehensive Guide to the Ultimate Diet for Body, Mind, Spirit & Planet
Beyond Broccoli, Creating a Biologically Balanced Diet When a Vegetarian Diet Doesn't Work
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
on June 8, 2011
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
As a yoga instructor, I've been reading passages from The Soulmate Experience to students at the end of their practice. Grounded in age-old truths for living an authentic life, this book is so much more than the title implies. It will heal your soul. My students were so touched and inspired by its words that several went out and bought the book that same day.
I keep a copy by my bed so I can read it over and over again. Each time I open it, I find new insights about myself and my life in its pages. If you're struggling with a situation, a relationship, a decision, or emotion, this book will show you how to find your way to loving yourself and your life. Isn't that the secret we all seek?
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
on May 9, 2011
I am a 27-year old "Bride to Be" and I have fallen in LOVE (not only to my fiance, but) with this book!!!
Since getting engaged a year ago, I have done alot of research on weddings, why people get married, how people handle their relationships, how to create a lasting one, etc. I'm not usually a "researcher" but considering how big of a step this is, I just wanted to get clear on what I'm truly "signing up for"...
That being said....
Mali & Joe are truly inspiring and have got "it" figured out! The way they seem to live their lives and handle each day with each other is absolutely incredible! This book is wonderfully written and I hope that it can help other people as much as it has helped me!
My fiance and I have been together for 10 years! Most people would think that we probably know everything there is to know about each other. But we are constantly changing and growing so there is much more to learn about ourselves. This book has shown me new ways to really create the life I want to share with him!
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
on May 16, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
After 3 years of marital bliss with each other, we found The SoulMate Experience to be a fantastic refresher, putting into words all that we had been experiencing. Reading the many real life experiences offered by Mali and Joe confirmed and strengthened our own.
To us The SoulMate Experience has become the practical application of A Course In Miracles.
Learning to love one's self and one's partner as presented by Mali and Joe, sets the stage for love and peace and understanding between peoples of all nations.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
on April 8, 2012
This book is amazing! This content and revelations it projected into my heart, mind, soul and spirit were absolutely life changing. i have never read a book with this caliber of insight before and I have read many books along these lines. I was given understanding and knowledge into many relational issues and why they occur, the reasons behind the disconnections and malformations that take place between two individuals was mind boggling. I will refer back to this book and the notes I have taken on it often. If you ever want to have genuinely the BEST INTIMATE relationships with anyone and everyone in your life this book is a must have to achieve them. I will now refer to the books content and what stood out so much to me and hope to keep it down to minimum, there is so much to say about it I hope I do not bore you with the content. My heart and spirit is soaring from the knowledge I gained...
Many of the following statements are direct quotes from the book and author...
In the beginning the book begins with you. It explains how you change what you believe and how you create your own heaven or hell. It also explains how love is the recognition of the equal in the other person. When you diminish another person you lose their ability to contribute to you and your life. You can change what you believe but you can not change what other person may believe. It is an individual process. You can make a difference in you even if others never change. Every limiting belief and inflexible position we hold will reduce our potential... do be flexible and open. The people we attract into our lives reflect the beliefs we hold about ourselves.
The book discusses emotions in detail and why they form, what triggers them and how to mature in ways to not be controlled by them, as shared in the following...
Emotions like anger, jealousy and insecurity are an indication you are resisting "what is". Separating emotions are those that make us feel separate from other people rather than connected to them. You should never act when you feel these separating emotions influencing you or another person. People need to drop their masks in order to be genuine, this does mean making yourself vulnerable and open to the other person in order to form a valuable and lasting intimate relationship. The purpose behind having a good relationship with anyone is to have intimacy on some level, which causes understanding and acceptance as well as validation to form. Your self-worth comes from within, not on what others think of you...it does not depend on anyone else. Those who have the tendency to do to say things solely for recognition and attention usually suffer from low self-esteem. Vying to be the center of attention is often present as well as the need to be right which shows out to be the most prevalent and insidious way the ego tries to feel in control.
Resentments may be the heaviest baggage one carries around. Resentment is the pain one feels when they believe someone should have done something other than what they did. It's closely related to regret, guilt, shame and embarrassment. Every time we interpret a PAST experience the SAME WAY we have before, we produce the same emotional response. Time to let it go.
The author identifies the many lenses through which we look at things as follows...
If we interpret "ANYONE'S" actions through the "lack of love" lens or "rejection", "abandonment" lens, we are bound to suffer in some way. The feeling behind the lens the "LACK OF LOVE" is that it colors emotions. When we stand in judgement we error. If you look at both sides it becomes clear not clouded. Choose instead to look through the "miraculous lens" with everyone. The new you takes over and the past has no hold over the way you see things or feel. Unresolved issues become a things of the past and you walk in a new light regarding the relationships you share in. Knowing how to find something positive in the most negative-looking circumstances is the greatest secret of truly happy people. We have two choices in how to respond...from resistance or from acceptance. Our attitude has an enormous effect on how our experiences unfold... Accepting "what is" right now does not mean we condone a situation or give up our ability to improve it... we are promoting more energy for adjusting to our ever-changing circumstances. Accepting rather than resisting which induces stress and accepting creates freedom to shift to change. The more aware you are, the less often you will get hooked into a negative reaction. Become aware. Be open to whatever shows up, do not stress, be flexible especially in your spirit realm.
Trying to protect and contain a relationship to keep it from changing does not work. Imagine a relationship like this...
Instead of becoming stale or dragging you down your relationship continues to be a source of inspiration, excitement and true connection? Making the shift from a conventional to a more enlightened way of relating involves chaining how you approach relationships. The moment you immerse yourself in fearful thoughts you disconnect from yourself and instantly feel uncertain and insecure. "Real Trust" has no requirements and it does not monitor, manipulate or judge. Real intimacy involves:exposing yourself, bringing out your deepest thoughts, feelings and desires without reserve. When we are our authentic selves we share openly, this creates a deeper bond enable us to accept and embrace the most challenging of circumstances we might encounter and having someone to share them with is a great reinforcement rather than going it alone. When we foster true intimacy a safe loving relationship evolves that encourages expansion. A successful relationship takes the commitment to do whatever is necessary to create and maintain a safe loving space for those involved, that relationship being free of judgement, criticism and blame.
Dissolve those resentments. It takes precious life energy to maintain resentments-energy that will be available for other purposes when we choose to accept rather than resist. Minor grievances or unspoken expectations collect into larger issues until they become overwhelming. Trying to ignore or cover up feelings of irritation, resentment, pain and hurt hoping it goes away, but generally it does not. It only grows larger over time and collects more in its path. New feelings of resentment, anger, and irritation will often trigger similar emotions still lingering from the past. When limitation or boundaries are enforced they slowly choke off the relationships capacity for growth, self-expression and joy. The path of acceptance rather than compromise being the best choice. When you embrace your rejections, issues begin to dissolve. Do not allow expectations to form...they create indifference! Indifference is the opposite of love not hate, it is indifference that ruins a relationship, indifference creates the lack of love.. Accusations are an obvious sign of an expectation not being met. Others do no respond as we do, do not expect them to. Making accusations, using sarcasm, speaking harshly, and withdrawal are all typical responses to "unmet expectations". Jealousy is a response to fear, the pain of jealousy can be all-consuming, causing obsessive behavior to follow. Fear is the ONLY thing that EVER prevents two people from connecting.
How you choose to relate to and interact with people and situations you encounter influence the experiences you will have.
The most valuable gift you can give is your presence!
Love compels you to be:
Understanding, compassionate, honest, genuine, giving, encouraging, receptive, gentle, accepting.
When viewing certain people or situations as potential threats we try to protect... as result relationships feel more and more closed and will shut down.
In reading this book and absorbing its content and vast knowledge of what makes us who are are has caused me to grow immensely in the most valuable areas of my spirit and heart. It has given me a greater understanding as to why certain relationships work wonderfully and others could never succeed. For a relationship to be at its uptimum best it requires those involved to be open, honest, genuine and desiring a wonderful connection with the other person involved. When there is no connection it is simply because there is no love or desire to be involved. There are personalities that do not mesh and never will and forcing a relationship just for the "sake of family" expectations is wrong. One should only ever be involved in relationships that are accepting, open, honest and validated by love being the prime motive. This book has given me some of the most valuable insight into the actions and reactions of others that has mystified me for years. It has also given me a greater appreciation for the miraculous relationship that my hubby and I share that so many others find unbelievable. I am so very blessed. Bravo to the author for sharing their wonderful expertise! Do read this book it will transform your heart and spirit.
16 of 19 people found the following review helpful
on April 9, 2011
This book is beautiful! I am currently about half way through and applying these teachings to my life has been heart opening. I've learned to love my body, let go of some limiting beliefs...and simply how to "be" in relationship. Currently as a result my friendships are dramatically deepening as I find myself being more present with everyone and thing in my life.
I've also noticed I am more available for myself and taking care of myself on a deeper, more intrinsic level.
I personally know Mali and Joe (the authors). They are extraordinary people who really live the principals they so well teach in this book. I have come to admire the simple joy and ease they have in relationship to another.
Truly, a manual written for anyone to comprehend, Mali and Joe, easily model an effective foundation to build deep connected relationships. Without using jargon, they powerfully get their point across.
I am excited to continue this journey...knowing I have all the tools and a road-map to help me stay on track.
Do yourself a favor...Experience--"The Soulmate Experience"!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on April 30, 2011
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
I became aware of the Soulmate Experience because of Facebook. Yes, Facebook can bring wonderful things to living! Over time I was able to see posts and comments and what impressed me so much was the honesty and gracious comments I found there. The forum at the Soulmate Experience has blessed me over and over. I don't know Mali and Joe, but their passion to help others find and embrace the best things in life shows up and speaks loud! These two souls are willing to lay so much out to help others create a wonderful life. Most of our joys are captured in relationships and Joe and Mali have created a roadmap to intimacy and good loving! Everyone will profit from their instruction. My two sons will get a copy and so will many others. Why would you not want to purchase a book that WILL change your life (or I will buy it back!)? Their friend Michael Naumer, who shares insight in this story, is amazing and his thoughts penetrating. I love and salute you Michael for the heart you gave to the world! Thank you Mali and Joe, I am forever changed by my experience with the Soulmate Experience. You have made the world a better place!