6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
An intriguing Indie read...,
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This review is from: Tall, Dark & Lonely (Pyte/Sentinel Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
I managed to pick this one up awhile back when it was a freebie and it languished in my TBR for quite some time. I finally dug it out and when I realized it was a bit longer read (over 6700 Kindle locations) I 'gave myself permission' to quit if I didn't like it. Well, I finished it.
The book definitely has some flaws that would have likely been improved by a tighter editing, however at the heart of it were two very interesting people who sucked me deeply into the story in the first chapters. There was a bit of 'and the kitchen sink' thrown in in terms of plot points, but I did chalk some of that up to the world building as there is at least one sequel. However, as the story progressed it did lose a little of the tightness at the beginning. Given some rather abrupt seeming jumps in time and perspective it almost felt like perhaps this had started off as a series of novellas that were then melded into a full book.
Other reviewers have noted, and I would reiterate, that some of the word choices, grammar/punctuation/capitalization errors were a bit much. In general I can overlook a few, but there were just enough to pull me out of the story at times. Particularly bothersome to me is the occasional (I think twice at least) lack of capitalizations--my grammar skills are far from a mastery level so if something looks odd perhaps it's my own ignorance, however...the capitalization errors do bug me ('states' when it's really States, as in 'returned to the States from overseas'). Not earth-shattering, but indeed something to notice. For those who are more grammatically inclined these might be deal breakers.
The thing that bugged me the most however is that I have a new author to add to my 'needs to check an anatomy textbook' list with regards to the hymen. It's just not all that far inside...yes there are anatomical differences, but still. Let's just say the hymen in this story had a bit more of a starring role so I wish the description of activities did not imply that the darn thing is that far inside. If you're in, you're in...this in-but-only-an-inch-so-it-doesn't-count thing is annoying. As for the uber-thick version our heroine is blessed with, honestly I felt as though we were reading about a septum not a hymen.
At this point my rating is a bit difficult. The story started off as a clear 5 even for me, but the point of view changes, the jumps in time, grammar issues, and that darn hymen, started pulling it down for me. Ultimately there is some really good story present and on the assumption the author will improve (or perhaps get better editing) I am very interested in seeing how this world unfolds--I bought the sequel when I was about a third done. I'm forgiving the excessive plot elements as many first books do a bit of that in their world building--not that it has to be done that way, but I can forgive that one if the next books show it was worthwhile. Given the promise shown I think this could end up as quite a fine series.
I am looking forward to the next story and I do recommend giving this one a try!